sharing sadness

Can I complain about the pathetic life that I’m living in recently?

If you don’t mind, keep reading.

[1]

I saw the news today: “SAFER AT HOME” ORDER IS ISSUED FOR L.A. COUNTY

Are they actually gonna shut down the city?

I couldn’t believe it, I was totally shocked and thought it was pretty ridiculous when Wuhan city closed off.

Now I felt the same.

[2]

An extremely optimistic person, that’s what my friends say about me. I will always stay positive no matter what happens, that’s what I thought.

But… I have to say this now, I just can’t hold it back anymore. MY LIFE IS SO MISERABLE at the current situation.

I thought it would have been a minor thing and stoped in China, and that was it. 

But now the WHOLE FUCKING WORLD IS SHUTTING DOWN.

PC: timgsa.baidu.com

[3]

Since the moment I landed in Shanghai, I was surrounded by full-body protective suits. I filled out lots of forms, they took my temperature many times, and other health checks. 

It took me six hours to go through all these AFTER TWENTY HOURS FLIGHT.

After I exited from the airport, the government from my hometown Zhejiang Province provided transportation from Shanghai to Zhejiang.

Then my city government picked me up from where the province bus dropped me.

And the local government from my home district drove me to the hotel, where I received more health checks and quarantine. 

14 days long quarantine. Alone, in a hotel room. Something I haven’t done before. I even can’t stand the feeling of eating alone.

I expected everything will be fine as soon as I get back home. 

But I’m literally trapped here. I didn’t even get a chance to see my mom closely. All I did was wave at her through the metal bars on the windows from the fifth floor.

[4]

I was gonna do my homework today. I opened my laptop, went on safari, tried moodle, AP classroom, and Khan Academy. 

Then… all showed up on my screen was “Safari Can’t Open the Page.”

For distance learning, we literally use google everything: google docs for editing words, google meet for the virtual class, google drive for sharing videos or slides, Gmail for communication……

However… GOOGLE IS BANNED IN CHINA.

I didn’t realize how serious the problem is until now.

[5]

Before all this shit happened, I was on the non-sugar diet with my friends. But now, I have to stop the diet. I really need sugar to paralyze my nerves and slow down the mental break down.

Even before last Friday, my plan was taking SAT on Saturday morning, ice-skating in the evening, brunch and shopping mall on Sunday. 

Boom, everything just happened too fast. I hate when I have to say goodbye to the people I loved. I told myself that we will see each other again for sure, but I am not sure when. Maybe in a few weeks, maybe a couple of months, maybe several years, or maybe never.

[6]

I woke up at three this morning, got out of bed at six. 

I took a shower, got dressed up, did makeup. When I was going to put on my shoes, I suddenly realized that I am going nowhere, I am staying here for the next eleven days. No matter how good the weather is outside, I told myself while looking through the metal bars window.

Not even able to open the door of my room on my own. 

Am I really a living bioweapon?

[7]

What was also in the news I saw: one positive thing.

The air pollution is going down in China.

2 thoughts on “sharing sadness

  1. I’m so sorry you are going through these struggles. Sending as much positive energy as I can send your way. Be well. You have a bright future ahead.

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