stay optimistic

Sometimes, things are really not as bad as you imagined.

Recently, I often overstress on every little thing that bothers me.

It affected me deeply.

There were lots of things in my mind, and left no space for my brain normal functioning.

I couldn’t even sleep well, I dreamed a lot, and woke up as I didn’t even get rest.

I didn’t even know what happened to me, but I am trying my best to put everything back on the right track.

I admit that I wasn’t really positive these days, wasn’t as optimistic as usual.

I kept regretting what I have done, and I’m afraid that I will screw things up again.

I’m trying to make things look better, but all I did is the opposite.

Maybe it’s the time to slow down, take a deep breath, clear my mind a little bit, and then keep moving on.

Things will get better with time goes, I hope.

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Viruses have NO nationality

Last week, I went to a basketball game at another school. 

Before the game, my Chinese friend was sneezing five times in a row due to her allergies.

The referee saw her and made a really stupid joke. 

“You got that virus too?”

No one laughed, except him. 

credit by: twitter.com

I saw the news today. 

In the subway station in NYC, an Asian lady was attacked for wearing a mask, and called a ‘Diseased B*tch’. 

I was totally shocked, I just couldn’t understand it. 

I thought mask means protection, for the people who are wearing it. 

But in that news, mask brought her something completely different from protection.

This is a story that my friend told me. 

She is a student abroad in Sydney, and when she called a taxi from the airport to school. 

The first sentence driver said to her: “Are you from China?”

She said: “Yes.”

The driver said: “Don’t open your mouth in the car.”

She was so confused and astounded, feeling endlessly helpless.

Ebola is not an African virus, H1N1 is not a Mexican virus, and the coronavirus is not a Chinese virus.

Viruses have NO nationality.

Racism is the MOST dangerous virus.

Let’s go against viruses together, NOT Chinese.

bicycle

Riding on a bicycle should be a very simple thing, but it is extremely difficult for me. When I was a child, I could ride the four-wheel and three-wheel bicycle very well, and I liked to ride around in my neighborhood. I felt myself was as cool as the police riding on his motorcycle. 

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However, I cannot ride the bicycle anymore that I rode when I grew up. I started to learn how to ride the two-wheel bicycle, and it is much more difficult than I expected. This kind of bicycle is totally different from what I used to ride, it has no balance at all. Someone told me that you can get balance when you’re riding. So I was trying to pedal and let the bicycle move forward, and it was quite smooth at first, I even could felt the breeze touch my face gently. But, this condition did not last longer than one minute, I felt that I was just like a clown performing acrobatics when the bicycle started to shake left and right. I was too scared to continue pedaling, then the bicycle started to tilt to one side until it touched the ground. Then I was sitting on the cement floor with a scrape on my knee. 

The end of this story is I will never ride any bicycles again, even if it is more than two-wheels. 

IDK

Sometimes recently, I feel completely lost.

I just, I just don’t know anymore.

In the past, I really hated to say the phrase “I don’t know.” Every time when I say that, I feel I am weak. I hate myself being weak.

But recently, I say this phrase more and more often. I really want to avoid it, but I just can’t help.

Saying “I don’t know” is much easier than saying something else. No need to think, no need to explain, no need to worry about the consequence.

And sometimes, I just really don’t know, and I don’t want to find out the answer either.

I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, I don’t know what the future will be like.

I know I need to make some changes, but I don’t know where to start.

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But….. I remember Socrates said that “I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.”

I guess maybe it’s not that bad to say “I don’t know.”

over-consumption

My mom criticized me for my overconsumption, and I retorted back.

After that, I sat down and did an incomplete statistic.

Just in my dorm room, not including the stuff I have back home.

I have 9 drinking equipment: 4 mugs, 2 straw cups, 3 water bottles.

I have around 50 different earrings, 10 necklaces, 10 bracelets, and several rings, and I am still buying more.

I have over 100 different hair ties: about 10 coil-style hair rings, 20 hair ties with different decorations, 30 regular hair ties with different colors, 50 small rubber bands, and several scrunchies.

I have about 20 different hair clips too, I used to have more but I keep losing them.

I have a hill of plush toys on my refrigerator: a reindeer, a white bear, a yellow chicken, a unicorn, a yellow cat, a brown and white dog, a sloth, a unicorn-like Pusheen, a grey dog, a snowman, an elephant, a rhinoceros, a pink piglet, a goose, an avocado, and a little monkey.

For sunscreen, body wash, face mask, conditioner, body lotion, lip balm and so on, I have at least two of each, and I don’t even know why, probably because they have different flavors and functions from each other?

To my surprise, I even have two blankets, five pen begs, three trashcans, four school backpacks, two large camping backpacks, three exactly same phone chargers, and five playing cards (but I don’t even play poker).

For all the items I list above, one is completely enough, but somehow I have more than I need.

Hmmm… I guess now it’s the time to do some reflection and make some changes.

Btw sorry mom : (

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wanna fight

“Wanna fight” is the phrase I often use recently.

When some people make fun of me, I will say that. When I make fun of some other people, I will say that. When I don’t know what to say, I will still say that.

I don’t even know where I got this phrase from, how it got into my mind, or why I keep saying it.

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After lunch today, I said it to one of my silly friends.

That was when I got the retribution for saying this violent phrase.

“I never heard you say this when you were playing volleyball against other teams.” My former volleyball coach said this to me, when he overheard me.

Hmmm that’s kind of true, I am not really a sports person since the day I was born. I am trying to play sports good, but somehow no matter how hard I tried I am just not good as the others. Alright, I guess I just don’t have talent in it.

no electricity no life

The electricity was off for a short time today.

Probably it’s because of the weather, it was raining so hard since last night.

That is when I realized how important the electricity is to me and how much I depend on it.

The answer is: I can barely live without it.

Hmmm… that’s weird, the electricity is not absolutely necessary for humans to live with, unlike water and oxygen. But why do we need it so bad just like we need water and oxygen?

I guess it is because we can do a lot of things with electricity, such as use the lights, the heater, and so on. The most important thing is it can make our electronic products work, and they are really “essentials” for us.

But right now,

I really want to print my papers out, but I can’t, and I can do nothing about it but wait.

That is why I am sitting here and writing this blog for this week.

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