Writing

I never really found writing at any time fun. Recently writing has captured and taken over my entire life. If you want to become a part of my thoughts my writing is where you should be. When I write I express the bad the good and the in-between of my feelings. Sometimes my feelings are extremely deep and sometimes they are me ranting about my love for Pinterest. I really have found a love for writing. I have recently found a love for words that explain how I feel descriptively. I am not sure what writing has opened up for me but it is weird. I love it. I love the feeling after I finish something I am really proud of but I feel disappointed when I can not put my all in the the words I put out for people to see. I want people to feel the same as how my writing expresses itself. Once I produce writing I am proud of I don’t really care what other people think of it. I like it. I don’t care if people think I am bad at writing because it is fun and therapeutic. When my fingers hit the keyboard words flow out like a rainstorm and the pattering of the keys sounds as if the rain is dropping on the roof of my house. Writing has opened my creative thinking and opened me up to a new world. I like writing with no plot at all just writing and ranting. When my fingers start to type my thoughts overrun the speed of my fingers. I keep thinking of more and more to write without becoming completely off-topic. I just can not say some of the things I write verbally so I type them instead. Anyways that is my rant on writing I love it.

PC:me

Chill Out & Don’t Overthink

Recently, I have noticed a negative pattern in my personal life. Frequently, events have been occurring that impact me in negative ways. The overall trajectory of the mood has been way more on the adverse side, and I’m not exactly sure why. However, I believe I reacted appropriately and wasn’t completely gloomy. I think if such a pattern were to occur about three or more years ago, I would not react the same as I do to things of the sort today. Back then, I would get upset that the world wasn’t acting in accordance with my overall pleasure, and I would view it as unfair. I mean, every child, to some degree, complains with the phrase, “But that’s not fair!” I think part of that confusion stems from a lack of knowledge and experience, which led me to where I am now with an overall different approach to the situation.

I believe it to be part of my belief system, now in my life, that everything happens for a reason. Such a perspective has changed my life and overall boosted my positivity, even in traditionally negative times. The faith that everything happens for a reason can morph a bad event into something possibly good for the future. It also promotes less overthinking about personal error or the fault of others in your life. Those mindset changes have made me more aware of my response to things in my life, especially when they are negative. I think I have come a long way from my younger self, and I truly believe that it can be partially credited to the switch in my perspective on the occurances of my everyday life.

Everything happens for a reason, probably a good one | by Nabanita Dhar |  Medium

PC: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40nabanitadhar%2Feverything-happens-for-a-reason-probably-a-good-one-938b8f30d603&psig=AOvVaw0tUfO7LhkZQmbJvHZUy-m4&ust=1696057119875000&source=images&cd=vfe&opi=89978449&ved=0CA4QjRxqFwoTCNDb6qOfz4EDFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD

Slay

Sometimes I like to be humbled. In Ms. Whipple’s AP Lit class, everyone had to go around and read their thesis to the class. In essence, everyone’s thesis was the same thing with slight variations. It’s crazy to me how all 17 or so of us had the same exact thesis. I think different things about everyone in that class.  I view them differently academically, as friends, athletically, yet in the end everyone ended up producing the same exact thing. Despite what I had previously thought about everyone’s writing skills it turned out that no one was actually better than anyone else. In some ways, it felt like one of those crazy things that people say about how the US school system is there to make the kids the same and like robots. At the end Ms. Whipple read her thesis, sharing that she had written it with less than half the time the class was given. I’m telling you that it was literally a work of art. It’s crazy how much better she could be than the entire class. This experience led me to think about how small my scope of the word gets sometimes. The best person at whatever subject or sport or anything here at OVS isn’t even close to being the actual best. It humbled me in a refreshing way. I realized even what I would attribute as some of my best skills or subjects, that I’m not even close to actually being good at them. After Ms.Whipple read just one thesis statement I remembered that I’m just one student in AP Lit who is nothing special, yet it’s in an inspiring way. I’m reminded that if I want to be good at writing, it’s going to take a lot more work. I’m reminded that it’s going to take a lot more work to be good at essentially anything. I realized that compared to other experienced people I’m really bad at most things. It’s astonishing how talented and gifted some people can be. To me, it’s a freeing thought.

Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com

Issues

Lately, I have just been so done with people. There are so many people in my life currently who just need to be put in their place. Recently, I have had an issue with one of my friends that I have known since I was three. I consider her my sister and we have been there for each other through our lowest lows. A few weeks ago when I went home for the weekend from boarding school, I planned to see my friend that Saturday. We made that plan a month in advance because we barely get to see each other anymore. That Friday, she called me saying that she wasn’t going to be able to hang out because she had unofficial plans to hang out with a group of people. The people she was going to hang out with all hated me so why would she choose to hang out with them instead of me? I told her that it was fine but it was obvious that I was upset about it. A few weeks later, she texted me asking if I was mad at her and I said yes. She dared to ask me why. In the nicest way possible, I told her that I felt like she ditched me. She tried to tell me that I was her priority and started making up excuses. If someone cancels plans with me last minute to hang out with someone else, it’s obvious I’m not their priority. She ended up apologizing but actions speak louder than words and I won’t believe that I’m her priority until she acts like it.

PC “Free friendship image“/ CC0 1.0

Top 3 Animals

These are not necessarily in order of which animals I love the most, because they are all amazing.

  1. Giraffe – Giraffes are so silly. When having this conversation the other day with a friend, it was a surprise to them that Giraffes are my favorite animal. They have always been my go to answer to that question for as long as I can remember. My grandma has lived in South Africa for a lot of her lifetime, and every time that she would come back and visit me should would bring me a hand carved wooden giraffe. They started out small but she started to bring even bigger wooden giraffes that literally were a half the size of me. Giraffes look so cute when they run, please go look it up on youtube. Also, what a strange animal, they are kind of like long-necked horse- camels.

pc: https://www.awf.org/sites/default/files/styles/species_hero_d_1440x750_/public/Website_SpeciesPage_Giraffe01_Hero.webp?h=ba6751a8&itok=MPx-Qjkl

2. Capybara – This summer, I got the chance to see two capybaras up close and personal when traveling to Japan. They are a friend of all animals. They are also known to be extremely caring, social, and gentle creatures. Capybaras have gained an insane amount of popularity recently, and are loved by people all over the world. They are the worlds largest rodent, and they can even stay underwater for 5 minutes. Overall, they are amazing creatures that are brilliant to see in real life. I highly recommend going to Moff Animal Cafe in Japan.

pc: Towako Hiramatsu

3. Red Panda– Red Pandas are not actually related to Giant Pandas, but are actually more closely related to the family Mustelidae, which includes otters, wolverines, and weasles. They look like cat-bears. They are adorable and they even sleep in their tail, which they use to warm themselves up. With their sweet faces and lovable personality they are the perfect animal for this list. I hope that one day I can see one in real life again.

pc:https://redpandanetwork.org/get/files/image/galleries/15_facts_header.png?resize=1920×0&crop=1920×1040

sunrise to sunset

I like to leave my window open when I go to sleep. It makes me excited to wake up in the morning to the air, the sunshine, and all the morning sounds. I like to write in my journal. I like it because it lets me express things that I could never express otherwise. I want everyone to start to appreciate the smaller things in their life more often like the sounds coming through their windows in the mornings and writing in a journal before going to bed. I want us to be more conscious of what’s happening in our environment from the moment we wake up to the sunshine all the way until we write in our journals at night.

PC: https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/j1Kg56OC18Bw5IdaLSYZTxpt94uZ7FGCEuT_sDTAtKHCjimJANWqSUpkQ5b6Nygk1VxaovgjrKcL5DbXx5WOvbSSIRfrWzx3bUtlR89M2qvoIoulY5QqA8iMQG434n0hy_yg0eekquUEQ44f8VbXFa0

me bones hurt

Throughout my life, I have been relatively healthy, with the occasional times when I get out of shape or have some other health issue. In recent years, I have prioritized staying physically fit by doing things like weight lifting, running, and volleyball. However, there have been some repercussions for my lifestyle. One of these is that my tendons and bones often hurt daily. Now, this doesn’t make my life impossible to navigate; however, the little things bother me the most. For example, when walking down the stairs, one of the bones on my left knee will pop now and then, which throws me off balance just a tiny bit, making me take a moment to regain my balance. Also, my tendons hurt quite a lot, making it hard to do things like squat down without feeling my knees. My main issue is my finger joints, which are always uncomfortable throughout the day and hard to move if the weather becomes too cold. This causes me to warm up my hands in my pocket constantly. Not to mention, I crack my knuckles such an absurd amount that I feel it makes the problem worse, although I continue to do it because it provides slight relief of the pain in my fingers for about 5 seconds, then it comes back just as bad. My fingers experience this, and my wrists and knuckles hands pretty much have arthritis. In short, I’m an old man in a young person’s body. 

PC: https://cdn3.vectorstock.com/i/1000×1000/89/82/arthritis-doodle-icon-hand-drawn-vector-37698982.jpg

to the BIGGER person

I hate being the bigger person. It’s so frustrating trying to be a better person when you’re arguing with children. No, not literal children I’m talking about children who physically grew up but mentally well let’s just say adult conversations aren’t their thing. Yes being the bigger person is the right way to go but I would love to just lose my mind and scream like the children on the other side of the conversation.

You’re probably thinking why not just stop don’t be the bigger person if it annoys you so much. Well, I’ve tried that it doesn’t work either. Once you’re known that way all of a sudden standing your ground is frowned upon. You’re moody, you’re overreacting, you’re a for lack of better words a B***H. It’s not fair. I want to be able to fight fire with fire instead of letting people walk all over me. I could easily drag your name through the dirt trust me, I have the information to do so but I choose not to. I’m done being the bigger person.

It’s been happening a lot recently with a special person in my life.

if you haven’t gotten it yet… that was sarcasm.

I don’t understand the allure of talking trash about someone. Can’t we all just be like grown men and agree not to like each other, punch it out, or something. It’s so time-consuming for what? and the lying don’t even get me started on the lying. If you have been caught and multiple people have come up to me saying the same stuff who’s the one lying? All those people came up with that on their own??? No. I’m pretty sure you’re closest friends aren’t trying to ruin your life.

Also mad respect for those best friends who still defend the person being talked bad about or at least tell them. I respect you guys so much.

being the bigger person is probably something done by 1 out of 1 million people, and those people don’t get a choice to change. So if I have a bit of wisdom to share…

BE A CHILD.

the rest of the world already acts like one don’t give them the power to trash your name to your friends. If someone is talking about you the bigger person won’t do the same, even if they have the information they won’t state specifics they will get angry, yes but that’s it. Children continue the gossip circle so CUT IT OUT we’re in high school for god sake GROW UP.

Since most people can’t I’m telling all those REAL bigger people, not the ones who act like they are. Let them have it release that anger and show them what you’ve been holding back because I know it’s enough to make them cry. please humble them they need it.

that was very nice to get out. more to come 😉

I am tired of being the bigger person. One day, I would like to be the  witch they claim I am. | Confession Ecard
PC: https://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/MjAxMy02MmRjNjgyYzIxMzFmYmJm/

I might be lactose intolerant

Since before I can remember I have been drinking milk at an almost concerning pace. I have no idea when why or how it started but I have always loved milk much more than the majority of the population so much so that in my house there were always at least 4 cartons of milk. For many years I would wake up ready to take on another day and just as some have their morning coffee I would have my morning warm milk. My mom would always bring me a glass of warm milk in the morning cooked for exactly (add time) seconds every morning. The milk would be delivered to me in this glass mug every day. Once lunchtime came around at the lower campus I would grab this small red cup and walk my way over from my seat to the milk dispenser. Once I arrived I would fill up the cup to the absolute limit walk on my red carpet walkway of past milk spills and sit back down in my seat. Once night rolled around it was another glass of warm milk, and on top of everything I had random glasses throughout the day. After doing this strict routine for many years I stopped drinking it as much for some reason. recently I decided to pick up a glass or two throughout the day. As I continued the day all was jolly until I got home where I had an emergency. As I struggled to make it through said emergency the thought crossed my mind “Why was I experiencing this?” that’s when one of my great fears crossed my mind. I could be lactose intolerant. Truly my life wouldn’t ever be the same as milk and milk-based products are some of my favorite. I have no true evidence that I am truly lactose intolerant however but I pray to any gods that are willing to listen in hopes that I’m not. 

PC: me

Soccer

The thing I have been most passionate about is soccer. I started playing soccer in Junior high school with my friends, and it has helped me grow in many ways. One of them is to have a goal and never give up until the end. I was very clumsy in kicking, lifting, and everything else I did for the first year. However, I went out to the field and practiced from 8:00 in the morning with the goal of lifting more than 100 times during the year, and I was able to lift more than 700 times in a row. The other thing is leadership skills. I became the captain of the soccer team and took on the role of organizing everyone. At first, I was unfamiliar with many things and had a hard time talking to people, but now I can talk to people on my own. Soccer has given me not only a sense of fun and maintenance, but it has also helped me grow as a person.
I am not sure now if I will play soccer this winter season, but soccer is my youth and I would like to continue to play it.

pc:me