“I Luv Food.” That’s the name of my phone since I first got it in 3rd grade. I got to decide what to name it on iCloud, and my pops said to choose something I loved, so I decided FOOD! The smell of foods, the taste, the different texture, everything about it makes me so happy. I sometimes go to bed thinking about how excited I am to eat breakfast in the morning. Some would say I have an unhealthy obsession with it, while others would call me a food connoisseur. I want to thank whoever decided to make such delicacies as French fries, and don’t even get me started on sushi! I am so grateful to be able to experience the beauty of eating, smelling, and tasting. Just the thought of this makes me so excited to eat breakfast tomorrow. I might be obsessed, but I mean, come on, who doesn’t love food?
Primus – The Band of Weird
Primus sucks. Now, that’s an odd way to start a blog related to American rock band Primus, but I swear, it has a story.
Over the summer, I saw Primus with my aunt and uncle, and honestly, it was one of the best concerts I’ve been to. Every time I see a concert, I say that, but this time I mean it. It was.. an odd experience, having to get off of a boat after being out on the water weeks beforehand, landing in Los Angeles, getting picked up by my aunt and uncle in Long Beach, eating barbeque, seeing Flying Frog Brigade, Claypool Lennon Delirium, and Primus, and going back to the hotel for 6 hours of sleep before getting back on the boat again for a week.
Needless to say, I felt as if my third eye opened seeing this band. The visuals were great, the pit was amazing during Primus’s set, and the entire bands stage presence is otherworldly, even with Les Claypool’s opening bands. I’ve liked this band before seeing them, while seeing them, and after seeing them.. and I still love them.
Primus rejects mainstream musical paths, has the bassist as their lead singer along with crazy bass lines, amazing drum and guitar solos, and stories about characters rather than personal experiences and commentary on the world.
I love this band. They’re weird, and I personally find comfort in the absurdist band such as this.
P.C.- google, “primus albums”
Seen But Not Known
I feel like I notice so much about the people around me, but do they ever notice anything that way about me? I can always tell when someone gets a haircut or is feeling a little down or maybe bought a new shirt, but I never really feel like other people notice those things about me. Is it all in my head, and I just don’t notice it because it’s me, or do the people around me really just not care to ask or comment about it? I think that’s a reason why psychology was always such an interest of mine: why are people the way they are? Why have I always been the one who gets picked last in groups or the last one to get invited to things, if at all? I always felt like the short end of the stick, but is that just me being selfish? Do other people also feel the same way? Do they feel like I do that to them? I’ve always wondered these things since I started getting bullied in 1st grade, and it really stuck with me. I try to be nice to everyone, a universal friend. I do this because I understand that feeling of being alone and having no one to go to. Being the floater friend who isn’t anyone’s best friend or first choice, but I’m always there. Even after I took psychology, I realized you never truly know what’s going on in someone’s head because we are all our own person. Instead of trying to please everyone or being sad that maybe you weren’t the first pick, that’s ok; it’s normal. There is always going to be other options in life, and most of the time you aren’t going to be picked. So maybe I need to look at this differently. Rather than seeing it as me always being chosen last, maybe instead I’ll be better prepared for the future. I understand that feeling of not getting chosen, so I won’t have those high expectations when it comes to things like that later in life. I have built these experiences to help shape me for the world that is filled with challenges and barriers that need to be broken down, and instead of being scared or halted at the first hurdle, I’ll continue on just like I always have.
Second Hand Shopping
I started thrifting a lot when I got my drivers license because I could go whenever I wanted. Now more recently I go more because I have a job and access to more money. Around 5 months old ago I found out about a large flea market in Thousand Oaks called the Jack and Jill Flea Market. The first thing you see when you drive into the Thousand Oaks Mall parking lot is about 100 pop up shade covers. Beneath those covers are hundreds of clothing items from shirts to shoes, bags, skirts, dresses and accesories. The clothes at The Jack and Jill Flea are more expensive than regular estate store items because they are curated clothes. The clothes are carefully picked and sourced rather than being old clothes from someone’s house. I also like to shop on Depop which is an online site for selling clothes. Words like “Vintage” and “Y2K” are used as tags in posts as buzz words to attract attention. Reselling clothes has become a popular form of making money. Many teenagers rely on places like the Goodwill bins to source vintage clothes that they can sell for 30x the amount they bought it for. Second hand shopping has become very popular for Gen Z, I can speak from personal experience. People are beginning to realize the implications of buying first hand such as pollution, the fast fashion crisis, child labor and much more. Shopping second hand is the best, cheapest and most sustainable way to shop.
PC- Google
The Start to an End
It is the third week of my senior year and I already have learned so much about myself and those around me. I moved in this year alone which was honestly really sad and depressing, I felt alone and like I had been pushed out of nest without any warning and before I was ready. However when I got to California I felt this odd sense of peace and support that I had never really felt before. Not only from my family here in California but especially from my friends. Within 24 hours of me being here I already had a hangout planned and was beyond excited to see my friends who I haven’t seen in 3 months. My first couple days on campus were filled with long hugs and constant “I missed you so much!” Hearing this and seeing it for myself made em feel so loved and wanted. I know it is only the third week of my senior year but I already am getting this vibe that this year is going to be amazing or at least I hope it is. I am excited to experience my final high school moments and memories with the people who have given me a family here. I truly can’t express into words how grateful I am for my friends here, I especially can’t express my gratitude for being able to finish high school with them.
PC: Google
Senior year
Everyone said that senior year was easy. It has been anything but easy. I have never had as much work as I have had this year. Every class has been giving endless amounts of homework. The classes that are giving the most are the all senior classes. Out of school I’m also endlessly busy, after school every day I have to work 2-3 horses. I get home every night around 7 or 8pm. Then I have all the homework that every class has been giving, it is simply too much. Then on top of it all there are college applications. I simply can not wait for the second semester, when I don’t have to worry about getting the best grades and when I won’t have college stuff to worry about. Almost all the seniors that I have talked to have similar thoughts about the work load, none of us like it. Then school also wants us to step up as student leaders, like we have time for that. After these past few weeks I’m not even looking forward to going to collage, it’s just another 4 years of school. I do hear good things about it, like how much more freedom you get and all that but I was also hearing that about high school and specifically senior year. That didn’t end up being true.
Price of A Senior
Every day, time passes, and every day I lose vital time that I need to apply to college. The essay, supplementals, and even the activity list are just a hassle to complete and do all by at least November.
It’s not just the college application but also the classes and homework that I have to do, plus senior capstones. I have to prioritize applying for college, but the homework and activities that come with school are like a leech I just can’t get rid of.
The rush that comes with the first semester of senior year is something that isn’t talked about enough. Mainly because the people who have experienced the pressure of the first semester of senior year have left.
So every day I spin a wheel to choose which college I want to write supplementals for, and every day I try to work on my homework while more come in for the next day.
An endless loop.
P.C “High School Senior Writing”
Halloween
As a kid, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. I got to dress up, eat candy, and stay up past my bedtime. Halloween means something different to me now. I don’t go trick-or-treating. I still dress up, but the magic of the night is gone. When you’re a kid, the world is a magical place. Almost everything is bigger than you, and there is so much beauty to see. Now that I am 17, I don’t fantasize about Halloween like I used to. This year, all I am doing for Halloween is watching scary movies at my house while I eat popcorn and candy, which I bought at the store. I’m bringing a little more whimsy into my life by dressing up as a ladybug. Ladybugs are the epitome of whimsy to me. They are beautiful, free creatures. Although Halloween will never be like it was when I was little, I am still going to try my best to make it fun.
PC- Google
The Cornell 57
I fail to see change and accountability in the scary world I live in. I remember the day when I first saw an Instagram post about The Cornell 7; safe to say I was disgusted but not surprised. As the day went on my whole feed was flooded with posts about what happened to Jane Doe in October of 2024, I saw people arguing for justice and supporting the 7 fraternity members. I have heard people say things like “It was the hormones,” “they haven’t been charged with anything so why are we ruining their reputation,” “they are wrongfully accused.” Again I am not surprised. What makes me lack hope in humanity is the fact that there were 57 boys, and I call them boys because they are not men, in that group-chat. Not a single one spoke up. Cornell failed Jane Doe. The punishment for the 7 men who are accused of assaulting and took advantage of Jane Doe was to write an essay. An essay! Cornell swept the situation under the rug in hopes the public would not find out the fact that they failed to protect their students. Who knows how many more instances have been covered up to protect their identities of disgusting men who do not know how to control themselves around women. I hope that whichever college I choose to go to works hard to ensure that women feel safe on campus. Women had to fight for their education and the right to go to college. Now we have to fight for our safety. What will we have to fight for next?
PC- Google
Girlhood
Being a girl is an experience that words cannot capture, no matter how hard we try. There is a sense of connection that every woman feels with each other; we all know what it’s like to experience your period for the first time, what it’s like to have to go bra shopping for the first time, and we all know what it’s like to look over our shoulders when walking alone. Like many, if not almost all, women, I remember my first time looking over my shoulder and feeling an instant adrenaline rush telling me to run. I was 10 years old, walking to the Walgreens two streets over from my house to go grab snacks on a hot summer day. I was wearing black Nike shorts and an oversized Miami Dolphins t-shirt. A man driving in his car up the road I was going down slowed when he saw me, and he instantly turned around and started following me. My heart sank to my feet, and my whole body went cold. I was only a child, but I had this immediate response, almost as if it had been ingrained into my DNA, telling me to run, and I did. I ran as fast as my body physically could home, and when I got into my house, I sprinted up to my room and didn’t come out for hours. I didn’t walk to that Walgreens for 3 years after that due to the fact that I was so terrified. This may sound like some unique experience, but it is a common one for women to experience even at that young age. Being a girl means having to assess your surroundings wherever you go to ensure you are safe or at least know how to get out. Being a girl means going everywhere with someone else to make sure you are never alone. Being a girl means knowing to cover your drink and only taking closed cans when you are out. Girlhood is the feeling of experiencing universal experiences with women you may never meet; girlhood is knowing what it’s like to look over your shoulder wherever you go, a feeling every woman who has ever lived can relate to.
PC-Google
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