Getting Casted as One of my Dream Roles

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Just over the weekend, the cast list for Ojai Youth Entertainers Studio’s Ride The Cyclone came out. I had the joy of being casted as Noel Gruber, one of the dream roles I’ve had since the 7th grade. I’ve known about this musical for the longest time, and I’m absolutely grateful I got to be casted as my dream role.

I have his catchphrase already memorized, part of his monologue, and a few of his lines interacting with the other characters already down, because I’ve seen the musical so many times. Playing him on stage shouldn’t be so hard, but what is going to give me trouble is his song.

I… absolutely despise singing. Not the biggest fan, per se, but I can prominently say I don’t like it. Noel’s song (without spoiling it as much as I can) is about being a woman in post World War France, living how somebody used to live back then. Maybe cross dressing on stage isn’t necessarily one of my talents, but I can sure try.

I’m just glad I got to be casted for this show, and performing it in February.

Review: Ride the Cyclone/Chicago Shakespeare Theater | Newcity Stage

P.C. – Google, “ride the cyclone”

The Cycle

glittersparkleprincess67Leave a comment

It’s like clockwork, every year at some point, that feeling of numbness and dissociation kicks back in like it never left. I can’t control it, but I can always see it coming, almost like watching a car crash in slow motion. I do everything I’m supposed to: I take my meds, I go to therapy, I have a routine, and yet no matter how hard I try or how many tools I use, I can’t escape this feeling. It never fully goes away either; it lies dormant, but I know it’s still there, waiting for the moment to awaken again. I hate that no matter how many years of work I have put in to escape this feeling and to escape those dark places my mind takes me, I can’t seem to fully get away; it will always be there, waiting for me to slip and fall back into the cycle. Depression is something that never goes away, no matter how many meds you take or how many therapy sessions you go to, but it is something you can come out on the other side of, even if it seems impossible. I have done it a million times, and I would do it a million more if it means I get to live my life to the fullest and make myself proud. Depression is most likely something I will struggle with for the rest of my life but I will never let it control my life again.

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Hot or Cold

frenchfriesssssLeave a comment

Hot or Cold.

This is a common debate that people have when their bored. The question is would you rather be hot or cold. Each one comes with its pros and cons but yet people cant seem to agree on which one is better. People who pick cold say that they can just put on a sweater and that solves the issue if they get to cold. People who pick hot say they can just stay in a cool room if they get to hot and they don’t want to keep shivering when they get cold. Although each one sounds horrible when you think about it. One comes with sweating and one comes with shivering.

Although when this question is asked there are other variable that arent asked. For example what temperature should be considered cold or hot and could it get colder or hotter. These questions could possibly change what people pick. Another question is wheter or not these temperatures affect you when external factors are added. If someone wore a jacket would that prevent the cold since their actually body remains cold. All these factors possibly make it harder to pick which one you would want to live with forever.

So my question is Hot or Cold?

Running Hot And Cold — OCBC

P.C-“Hot or Cold”

Time Change

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School ends at 3pm the sun sets at 5pm

I understand that people are happy that the sun rises earlier, it makes it easier to get up and start your day. Getting that extra hour of sleep when the time changed was amazing. To many that is beneficial and makes their lifestyle easier. To me it is my least favorite time of the year. I hate when the sun sets early, it makes it so that I can only do one of my horses in the light while the other one or two, I have to work get done in the dark. Working in the dark can be dangerous and frustrating at times. It’s hard for your horse to see and for you to see. It gets cold and all the horses have winter coats so it makes it so that you can’t do as much work because they can’t dry as easily. Doing other chores, not revolving around riding becomes 10 times harder than it usually is. If I was into a different sport or no sport at all, this time change would probably be as appealing to me as it is to others. But it simply is not something that I like.

PC: Google

Overcoming Fears

olivemartinisforeverLeave a comment

Imagine yourself in a kayak, the waves are rushing underneath you, paddling endlessly when suddenly, a cold shock of the Pacific hits. You are upside down, the depths of the ocean tugging you downward and a massive yellow kayak stuck above your head. You swim out, gasp for air, and immediately get to work. Grasping the keel, you pull the kayak upright before hoisting yourself out of the frigid water and back into your boat. It all happens within minutes, and while it sounds terrifying, it truly is amazing. Growing up, I was the little girl horrified of all things outdoors. I screamed whenever my feet touched the ocean, a ladybug landed on my skin, or I had to help in my parents’ garden among slugs and worms. The summer before my freshman year,  my parents suggested I take part in a trip to the Channel Islands. The first few days were spent kayaking, something vaguely familiar. When our trip leader asked for a volunteer to kayak with another teacher, I raised my hand. Just beyond shore, within the jetty, she looked at me and asked, “Are you ready?” My heart was pounding, but I could not turn back. Suddenly, we flipped. Learning to right an overturned kayak while remaining calm was daunting, but having one clear goal while submerged in the ocean was strangely exhilarating. That first plunge into the Pacific didn’t just teach me how to climb back into a kayak. It taught me that the greatest discoveries often begin when we are willing to dive into the unknown.

Channel Islands National Park Travel Guide — Moore Misadventures
PC: Google

Who gets to be called family?

glittersparkleprincess67Leave a comment

Does someone who has betrayed your trust deserve to be called family? Does someone who has been remiss in their responsibilities to you deserve to be called family? Does the person who has hurt you the most in life deserve to be called family? Just because someone gave you life, does that mean they deserve to be called family? Are DNA and a last name the only things that make a family, despite years of trauma and anguish? I learned very young that even though society might consider these people your family, they don’t have to be. Our families should be made up of people we trust, people who support us, people who love us unconditionally, and people who don’t put us through years of pain because they wouldn’t get help. You shouldn’t have to put up with unacceptable behavior just because you are related to someone, even if that person gave you life. You choose who your family is, whether that is made up of people you are genetically related to or not, that is still your family. We unfortunately can’t control the “families” we are born into, but throughout life we can choose who makes up our family. I believe the people who make you feel loved, safe, and appreciated deserve to be called family.

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Chipotle

Blondebundles67Leave a comment

Who would think something as simple as a burrito would drive people crazy? Talk to anyone who has had Chipotle, and 9/10 they will rave about how good it is. Although it is not deemed as authentic Mexican food, it is a delicious option for lunch or dinner. When I was around 8, I had Chipotle for the first time and fell in love. My order has matured from just chicken, rice, and black beans to steak, white rice, black beans, pico de gallo, sour cream, cheese, and lettuce. With each bite, you can’t taste all the magical flavors of a Chipotle burrito. The one thing I don’t like about Chipotle is the prices. Almost $15 for a burrito seems a little insane, but I still pay it, though. If I am not as hungry or feeling like saving a little money, I get the kids’ meal. The kids’ meals come with 2 tortillas and 3 sides. I ask for at least 4 extra sides, and surprisingly, they do not charge me extra. The kids’ meal is a little under $7, and I think it is a great value. I probably eat at Chipotle one or twice a month, and I never get sick of it. There is something about the flavor and softness of their cheese, the consistency of the source cream, the flavor of the steak, and the crispness of the lettuce. All the ingredients in my burrito work together to create an explosion of flavor in my mouth. That is why I love Chipotle.

PC: Google

Sick

lalapaloozaurLeave a comment

3 days.

That’s the amount of time I have spent lying in my bed doing God knows what. The first day, I woke up with the strongest sensation of PAIN. “Ow ow,” I said, confused on why my body ached so much. I don’t want to be sick I can’t be. Or, actually I’ll be honest it was a relief because I didn’t want to go to class. And so, I got my temp taken, and it was 100.4. Damn fever. Inevitably, that meant that I would have to miss Wednesday too. I was iffy about missing Wednesday because I didn’t want to have to catch up on so much work, but nonetheless, here I am, also missing Thursday. Wondering when I can interact with civilization again, Honestly, I feel like a victorian child being cared for. I sometimes wish I was a superhuman just so I wouldn’t have to ever be sick. But maybe I’d save the city as an excuse to miss class.

Deadly Diphtheria: the children's plague - Dittrick Medical History Center

PC; CWU, College of Arts, and Science.

Hopeful

lalapaloozaurLeave a comment

I’m so hopeful. I’m hopeful for the future, I’m hopeful for my friends, my family and my home, and I’m hopeful for my life. I never could imagine myself without the feeling of hope. It’s such a blessing to be alive, I could never imagine anyone else without hope because then society could never thrive. Who would invent new things? What would motivate anyone to wake up and be something, to be kind to people, and to smile at everyone that passes by? My brother gives me hope, he gives me hope that one day I’ll be just as determined and kind as him. My father gives me hope that I can be as intellectual and positive. My mother gives me hope that one day I’ll be able to leave a life behind to begin a new future in a foreign country. Everyone I surround myself with gives me hope, and I hope that I do the same.

Hope – Make Me Stronger

PC: Google

Halloween

SonnyAngel100Leave a comment

Every year, Halloween gets sadder and sadder, just like every holiday; it’s a reminder that I’m getting older, and next year these holidays will be as an adult, not a kid. This year was the second year I didn’t trick-or-treat, and the first year I didn’t go to my grandparents’ house with my family. All 3 of my siblings still have a few years left to trick-or-treat, and now I find more joy in seeing how happy they are to trick-or-treat. Giving gifts for the holidays is also more enjoyable now that I’m closer to being an adult, which I always thought I would like getting gifts more. This year, for all holidays, I have been hanging out with my friends way more because we’re all getting too old to celebrate holidays like we used to. Even though it’s sad, I still like the holidays as they are now, and I am excited for future ones.

13 Cute Halloween Ghost Clipart Bundle - Transparent PNG High Quality Images - Digital Download Commercial Use Watercolor Mixed Media Craft - Etsy

Pc- Google