On a train away we sailed,
slowly but at the speed of light,
we jumped into the cage called freedom.
oblivious but fully aware,
we jumped off of the cliff
and landed in a field of feathers.
soft and warm were the feathers
that were plucked off of the once flying birds.
and then came a hand,
and a voice
“come with me to The Good Place,” it said
so we took its hand and followed through the land on fire.
demons greeted us with open arms,
and we drank a sweet, red liquid.
“This doesn’t look like Heaven,” we said
A man with red horns smiled and replied
“oh trust me child, this is heaven for people like us.”
from somewhere i find myself
lost in the feel
in the feeling
somewhere between the self righteous feeling of being able to do what i want
and doing what i need to do
im trapped between wishing i could do stuff i can
and actually doing it
at twelve when i click links to feelings
to things i don’t fully understand
my fingers twitch my head rolls
and wonderful splinters of crashing ideas come careening into my consciousness
but through some utter desire some distinctive and instinctive yearning
i shake my passion heavy head
and utter for those graces of life that so move me
oceanfuls of life
that pour into me
flooding my conscious with desire and hunger for whats next
for everything that i could do
but i seem to turn around with ever increasing brevity
to the next seemingly endless desire
and now more than the time before i wonder if this thing will stick
and will it?
will i ever do anything i want if i cant decide as to what i should do
maybe i should just run off and do what i cant
but that wouldn’t be me
and I couldn’t give myself up for what would be simply easy for me to do
i just run into these walls that shape just before i reach them
they are ever increasing in grandeur
and i have no idea if anything i do will amount to anything at all
but i feel like i have some innate desire and initiative to keep thinking about it all
and wondering if there will ever be anything for me
My mother is the best asian parent ever.
She always wanted me to be good at everything, and if not, good at something in particular.
Ever since my childhood, she had been pushing me to be great.
Therefore, under her influence, I signed up for the concert band and the ping-pong ball team of my elementary school. I started doing all these things, and then I just stuck to it for years.
My childhood was filled with practicing tenor horn and table tennis, and I did that for the whole six years of my elementary school life.
Not to brag, but I was placed the third in a city-wide table tennis competition, and after 9 times of examination and evaluation of the China Conservatory of Music, I was considered to be on the highest level of performing tenor horn.
Now that I think of it, I’m very impressed by the old me. It’s amazing what my mother pushed me to do. Now that I think of it, she gave my old life so much more colors than an ordinary kid’s. Looking back, I just think of so much more my mother has taught me, how she would buy bundles of English or math test materials, then make me take them and go through and answers together. I remember her putting a big question mark on the side when there is a question wrong, because I always argued against the answer key. I remember how she made me recite ancient books of poems and passages that the recitation of it to a teacher would have given me a recognition. It meant reciting multiple books of poems and recite them in a single time. She tested me, gazed at me every time when I struggled to find the right words — it was so painful. It was like she knew I had some kind of talent and wouldn’t have been like that to me if it weren’t for that gift I had. Now that I think of how much heart my mother has put in me, I never want to disappoint her again.
Oh, how I love my mother. But now I cannot ever go back, she isn’t always going to tuck me in at night.
My feeling towards track season is ambivalent.
I’m hyped and concerned about the track season at the same time.
I’m happy that I get to contribute with the skill that I’m familiar with, however, infamous track practice in my school is my only concern.
From my prior experience of football and wrestling, I believe that I’ve been through quite intense training, so joining track wasn’t my biggest concern. However, when my friends explained how excruciating the training is, I frankly got scared.
Despite these concerns, I still decided to join the track team because I know it’s going to be really fun.
The more effort you put in the better result you would get.
I hope this track season would help me get in better shape and push my limit mentally and physically for self-improvement.,
an observation on what makes me cry:
- My little sister’s tears
- Academy Award Show acceptance speeches
- essential oils when they get in my eyes
- As by Stevie Wonder because it reminds me of what could have been.
- Thinking about my aunt, my grandmothers, my grandfather, my idol…
- animals with huge eyes
- Seeing my brother cry
- second-hand embarrassment
- Helpless people that deserve better
- Doing something I really dont want to do
- My allergies
- Movies and TV Shows with happy endings
- Movies and TV Shows with tragic endings
- Seeing my parents cry
- Death and birth
- when people are awarded things that they deserve
- spicy foods
- when I stare into the sun during sunset and the wind blows in my face.
– from the perspective of a seventeen year old girl
Sometimes, things are really not as bad as you imagined.
Recently, I often overstress on every little thing that bothers me.
It affected me deeply.
There were lots of things in my mind, and left no space for my brain normal functioning.
I couldn’t even sleep well, I dreamed a lot, and woke up as I didn’t even get rest.
I didn’t even know what happened to me, but I am trying my best to put everything back on the right track.
I admit that I wasn’t really positive these days, wasn’t as optimistic as usual.
I kept regretting what I have done, and I’m afraid that I will screw things up again.
I’m trying to make things look better, but all I did is the opposite.
Maybe it’s the time to slow down, take a deep breath, clear my mind a little bit, and then keep moving on.
Things will get better with time goes, I hope.