disassociation

10:23 am. Today I was driving and I started to disassociate. It’s the moment when you look at your hands on the steering wheel and you can’t remember how they got there. An action without a thought. The frustration that comes with the inability to recognize the hands that have guided you through your life thus far. These thoughts consume you and you can feel nothing and everything at the same time. Your breathing slows and moves like the colors behind your eyes when you try to fall asleep. You will never give it away, not with the solemn look on your face, or the thoughtless gloss swimming in your eye. I don’t think there is a time when you can be more in your head, but that’s just an opinion. The sounds of her voice muffle as I try to keep myself from falling down my own throat. “Isn’t that crazy” 10:57 am. 

IMG_3003
pc: me

Using Spanish

I have taken Spanish casually for 9 years now and at no point have I thought I have been good at it. I never really paid attention until high school, but completing workbook pages in Spanish was my least favorite homework. The work I was assigned was habitually tedious and boring. On the other hand, I thoroughly enjoy listening to music in Spanish and speaking Spanish with people who speak the language.

Last year, I hated Spanish 3 Honors. I hated learning tenses and rules, what even is the reflexive? This year I am in AP Spanish, which is more conversation and application-based, which is the first Spanish class I have really enjoyed. My speaking ability has improved immensely, and I have a good grades without feeling like I am slaving over the work. This has given me confidence in speaking that I never really had before.

I have also started speaking mostly Spanish to the new girl in my grade from Spain. I have talked to her friends who only speak Spanish for hours on the phone and have gotten only good reviews.

I am very proud of how far I have come in speaking Spanish and feel like I can have a decently fluent conversation with just anyone.

PC: Pintrest

My Top Five Fall Out Boy Albums

Fall Out Boy is one of my all-time favorite artists. I had a huge pop-punk phase that’s not completely over, and they were my top artist for a few years. Here are my favorite five albums, and as a bonus, my favorite songs from each one.

5. Infinity On High

https://www.amazon.com/Infinity-High-Fall-Out-Boy/dp/B000LC4ZIK

This album is a classic, and it would probably be higher up if I had listened to it before I listened to some of Fall Out Boy’s other stuff. My favorite song from Infinity On High is “The Take Over, The Breaks Over.”

4. American Beauty/American Psycho

https://www.mtv.com/news/2055608/facepaint-fall-out-boy-cover-model/

This one’s probably the most popular Fall Out Boy album, just since so many of the songs ended up on the radio. It was the first album I listened to, and it got me into Fall Out Boy. The songs all kind of have the same feel about them, which I like. I really can’t choose between Favorite Record and The Kids Aren’t Alright, so I’m gonna say they’re tied for my favorite song.

3. MANIA

https://www.muziker.com/fall-out-boy-mania-vinyl-lp

MANIA is incredible. It would probably be in my top two if I didn’t love the next two albums so much. It’s a bit more modern, but still, distinctly Fall Out Boy, and Patrick Stump really shows off his vocal range in this album. My favorite song is Bishop’s Knife Trick, but Church is a very close second.

2. Save Rock And Roll

https://www.amazon.in/Save-Rock-Roll-Fall-Out/dp/B00BAVCD8A

Not exactly old enough to be a classic, but that’s the best word I can come up with to describe the feel of it. Fall Out Boy sings with icons like Courtney Love and Elton John on this album, and all the songs have amazing drum lines. My favorite song from here is Miss Missing You.

1. Folie à Deux

https://www.amazon.in/Folie-Deux-Colored-Vinyl-2LP/dp/B001HRJG2S

If you haven’t heard this album, you need to. It’s literally their best album. The lyrics are good, the song titles are cool, and the music is addicting. Patrick Stump has an insane voice that he shows off in every song. Plus, the album cover is cute. All the songs are super good, but my favorite is She’s My Winona. For real though, listen to this album.

So yeah, those are my favorite Fall Out Boy albums and songs from them. Definitely go listen to these albums, especially the top three. They’re amazing.

Post-Chip Journal

I ate the chip.

If you have no clue what I am talking about, you probably aren’t put on. It’s cool though, I’ll put you on. Last week I wrote a blog that laid out the chip challenge I orchestrated for my podcast which you can read here: ( https://ovsjournalists.com/2022/02/08/pre-chip-journal/ ).

My Pre-Chip Journal was full of joy, wonder, excitement for the journey I was about to embark on. I had a ton of ideas that were good in theory: many wheels, games, tests, goofs, and gaffes. Some worked some didn’t. We spun the first wheels and ate the chips in the order decided upon by the wheels. The problem arose when we went to play feud before our next wheel. We staggered our chip eating times, my co-host ate, 30 seconds later the editor ate, and 30 seconds later I ate. This led to my co-host being in a hiccup fit when I began playing. My tonsils and ears started burning, I felt my cartilage melting like some sort of Ear Nose Throat doctor’s office diagram-shaped candle. All concerns about the order and plans I had made went out the window. Eff the spelling bee. Eff feud. I. Am. Done.

I frantically mashed click on the computer connected to the tv behind us, spinning the wheel that decides what we get to drink. My co-host couldn’t open his chocolate milk. My editor opened a milk carton like it was a Christmas present. Milk went EVERYWHERE. I finally got to my chocolate milk and had a drink.

Sweet relief overcame my mouth, I was back to normal!

(please watch this, I am using this as a sentence)

VC: NOID

The pepper was dancing on my grave. It was back just as strong as before.

We spun the next wheel, I got lemon juice, which in my panicked state I poured into my chocolate milk, leading to a sour, coddled, sweet beverage that went down terribly. From here on out I don’t remember much. I was dying. I bit into a lemon, which actually really helped, something about the acid canceling the capsaicin.

I then went to lay on the floor. I zoned out on the floor for a few minutes, and when I came out of my pepper trance, I was feeling fine. The burning had moved down to my upper chest, which hurt far less than my mouth. I then ate roughly 7 mini muffins and the infamous wet bread. Wet bread, for those who yet again are NOT put on, is wonderbread with club soda. I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy.

At that point, the wheel had gone out the window. I began eating a whole onion, my co-host had the entire lemon turned inside out in his mouth, and my editor was still dying.

Our teacher, throughout this whole experience, was anxiously crossing his arms, pacing, and looked like he was about to collapse out of the fear a student’s stomach lining would rip open in front of him.

The podcast is super funny, which I am proud of. I am more pleased though, with the fact my editor had firey diarrhea the whole night, the best form of payback.

Pre-Chip Journal

This Monday. 10 Am. Ojai Valley School. The last conference room on the right. It’s going down.

I will be orchestrating the show of the century via my video podcast. Myself, my co-host, and my newspaper’s editor will be eating the world’s spiciest chip. On camera. It WILL be the highlight of my year or the reason I get violently ill and have to leave school.

Going into the new year, I needed new ideas for my budding podcast. To be honest, my coverage and predictions about Omicron were shaky to say the least, some would even say disastrous but hey you live and you learn.

ANYWAYS, a ton of planning has gone into this. I had the idea on a crisp Thursday morning at 7:15 am on the toilet browsing Tik Tok. I saw this random old dude force feeding himself for views on tik tok when I saw him down 4 or 5 very spicy chilies, some daused in the world’s hottest hot sauce, followed up by a shot of vodka and him spraying WD-40 down his gullet. The funniest part is he starts with this cute little gag accent which slowly transitions into him moaning, whining, and crying as he forces himself to eat them (attached his so-called highlights at the bottom). Truly enthralling stuff. When I got to Journalism that day, I was instantly bombarded by my teacher and editor about not doing enough during my time between episodes (true but no way I would admit it).

“I’m gonna make my editor eat something so hot, she doesn’t have a tongue to tell me to slack off less,” I thought to myself.

It’s a pretty great plan if you factor our the fact that I will be torturing myself and my co-host for a gag/to see my editor’s face when she eats this chip.

I have created a whole show around the one spicy chip which I will outline:

First, we will chat around for a second, maybe get a cameo on the fourth mic from our teacher, get some other Journalism students to chime in and what not, setting the stage for the main event. Then, we will spin a wheel to determine the order in which we eat the chips. Then, another wheel will be spun to determine how much of the chip will be eaten: 60% for 1/3, 35% for 2/3, and 5% for 3/3. You are gonna hear “another wheel” a handful more times throughout this blog. Get used to it. After this spin, we will eat the chip, and film our reaction for 3 minutes. We will then all play Family Feud while handling the heat. The winner will get first dibs to spin two wheels that are mostly filled with things that help heat like milk and carbs, but also some negatives like tonic water and an onion. The other two will spin this wheel in the order of their points in Feud. After this, we will have a spelling bee, something my editor is impossibly terrible at. After this, we will probably wrap up, and that will be our show.

I am pretty excited, but I hope nobody gets a stomach ulcer leading to me getting sued. I’ll attach the podcast to my next blog so stay tuned.

VC: TikTok Legend

More Music

Another week and another set of music that I currently think is quite fire. This week I got my permit and have been listening to music at quite a high volume while I’m learning to drive. Some of the songs that I’ve been playing this week are the following.

To begin Paper Heart by Ollie is a song that has to be a part of my driving time playlist I’m working on. Ollie is a lo-fi pop/rap musician that sings about generally sad topics and delivers them quite well. The song, Paper Heart, talks about how he’s fragile and that a girl is playing with his feelings and making him feel like he’s under her control.

The next song on my list is Lead me on by Sammy Rash, yet another song about a girl that a messing with a guy’s feelings and screwing with his mind. Sammy Rash is a pop artist that has someone upbeat songs that have a lovely guitar melody and have realistic themes in the lyrics.
Second, to last on my list is a bit of a different song because of the fact that the last two were sad songs that were slow. The song, Let the Bad Times Roll, is an upbeat rock-pop song that just feels good and gets my mood going. The Offspring have been making songs since 2000 and their punk rock/ alternative pop music is just amazing. Although they aren’t underground, they are definitely a great listen.
Finally one of my favorite songs of this week is Fuck Authority by Pennywise, this song has a great electric guitar and beat to it. The song came out in 2001 and I wish that I had had it on my playlist a while ago, but it is sitting happily in my main playlist. Pennywise makes hip-hop rap and rock music and they are just killing it. Their vocalist has a great voice for the genre and the sounds just sound great.

Allow me to put you on.

This is just a compiled list of stuff I have liked or thought is cool recently

Vests:

It is most definitely vest season. Recently, I have been waking up in the morning to an extremely damp 55 degrees, enduring 85-degree highs on the hill, then returning home to frigid cold. Ventura County can’t decide if it’s winter or summer, still clinging on to aspects of summer while embracing parts of winter. I guess it’s fall but I like my longwinded description better.

Anyways, I’ve been super hyped on vests recently, specifically this Stussy Sherpa Vest:

Striped Sherpa Vest - Fleece Outerwear | Stüssy
PC;

Mine is purple and green. It’s sick.

I like to wear it with shorts, a white tee, and my Birkenstock Bostons (which we will touch on later), but it can also be worn with jeans and a tee-shirt or literally anything. That’s the beauty of the vest.

Birkenstock Boston’s:

The most comfortable foot experience ever.

If you’ve been on the hill in the past month you may have noticed I have worn clogs every day for 2 months now and it’s safe to say there is no going back. I used to be really into sneakers, but recently, I find myself picking birks over every other shoe.

In my current period of grinding college applications and AP class homework into the midnight hours, I care far less about my appearance in the morning: as long as I apply the stick of Old Spice Fiji floating around my truck before being around my peers, I’m valid. That’s not to say these shoes don’t look great with most outfits, I just have been putting less thought into outfits and my tan Birk clogs are perfect for that. They are also great for slipping into after hours of cramming my feet into soccer cleats for 2 hours or for skipping down chicken trail.

They are just the best

Boston Suede Leather | shop online at BIRKENSTOCK
PC: Birkenstock

The Top Gear Radio Special:

Top Gear is my favorite show of all time. I was not a car guy when I got into it and still wouldn’t categorize myself as one, but there is just something about the humor, wit, and gab Clarkson, May, and Hammond have that makes me keep coming back. This is a radio segment from when the guys took over a random BBC station outside of London in 2006. The old news and hilarious traffic advice make this a must-listen. I play it in the car on my way to and from school periodically, and I really enjoy it. You don’t have to like cars. You don’t have to like Brits. Just listen. Trust me.

VC: Top Gear (posted by freshrigi)

Anyways, I might make this a recurring thing. Consider yourself

PUT ON

Music

It is strange the way that we associate music with memories.

It is like a strong perfume that is impossible to disassociate with an era.

There are songs I cannot listen to because I was sad during the month it was in my playlist, or even because I feel that I have moved on from that time period. I now listen to a song knowing that one day, likely very soon, I will have grown out of this small era and will associate the song with the general mood of the month.

Small things in life change rapidly, including the clothes you choose, the breakfast you eat, your daily routine, the people you talk to, and the music you hear. Listening to music from a different era of mine often makes me feel uncomfortable, even if it was a good era, simply because I am not there anymore. It reminds me that times have changed, even if it is month to month.

Sometimes I regret listening to the same four songs day after day on my drive to school because I know what I am building. It will be a memory for my future self to listen to and reflect.

The automatic association of music and memories is hard to shake. They are not implicit memories, it is the general tone of the era that went unrecognized until you hear the songs and realize the moment has passed.

Image Credit: Apple Music

Windows Down

Although the air is frigged on this winter night, we drive around blasting music with the windows down.

Why one may ask?

Because sometimes there’s no purer form of joy than singing your favorite songs with two of your favorite people.

In that moment, all your fears and worries fly out the open window and you are living in the moment, watching two people sing and smile with every word that leaves their mouth.

This is one of the moments that you would replay over and over again when you rest your head on the pillow for nights to come.

I would not trade the little moments like this for anything.

So the simple answer to why we drive around with the windows down on a frigged winter night is simply for the joy of it, because in the end, you only have once chance to make memories like this with the ones you love.

Photo credit: https://www.pinterest.com/

the sound in my ears

the drop of a penny

the splash of water

the cling of a glass

noise is more than just a sense

for some it is a lifestyle

for some it is an artstlye

without noise the world we know would be bland

the world would be without the beautiful sounds

crickets chirping at night

birds singing in the morning

it would all be gone

we dont notice it very often

but noise is an eccential factor to our lives

we see it as just a function of our body

but no, it is much more than that

noise is love

noise is happiness

noise is peacfulness

Johnson - Is music a language, as Stevie Wonder sang? | Books & arts | The  Economist
Art Credit: economist.com