NOW

Honestly, I don’t know if I like Charles Bukowski but I love his work. I first discovered his poetry a year ago and I was just smitten with his spot-on/blunt observations of life. It’s funny though because he has this ‘don’t try too hard kind of attitude that I really don’t empathize with and he’s also kind of gross and offensive, yet I’m totally enamored with his humor and wit.

I can’t tell you what my ‘favorite’ poem by him is, because that changes all the time. They’re consistently clever and I could read his work all day. I thought of his poem “NOW” though, while I was thinking of what to even write today.

NOW

I sit here on the 2nd floor

hunched over in yellow

pajamas

still pretending to be

a writer.

some damned gall,

at 71,

my brain cells eaten

away by

life.

rows of books

behind me,

I scratch my thinning

hair

and search for the

word.

Obviously, this is about writer’s block, and yeah that just resonated with me while I was thinking of what to even write this afternoon.

If you want to laugh, I recommend his poem “Flophouse”, if you want to be inspired, I recommend “Roll the Dice” or “How is your Heart”, and if you want to think, I would read “The Genius of the Crowd” or “Dinosauria, We.” Also, all the poems he wrote about his cats are fantastic.

PC: https://www.thegreatcat.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Bukowski-and-Black-Cat.jpg

Poetry Pt. I

So far, these past couple of weeks, I’ve been publishing very surface-level (and frankly, boring) writing. One day, I wrote a poem with the intent of posting it, but quickly decided against the idea. There is something so raw, and so vulnerable about poetry, that to share a piece can be both a creative outlet and an absolutely terrifying experience. But no one really reads these anyways, so I might as well.

PC: https://i.pinimg.com/736x/96/5a/32/965a32cd4f0928ec10f3fa4847730893.jpg

TW: Eating disorder/self-harm. A couple years ago, my best friend was suffering from a severe eating disorder and almost died. This was the inspiration for a poem:

the bathroom mirror speaks

It tells her she is a slut, to “cover-up.”

or she is a prude, to “show more skin.”

It tells her, with makeup, she’s “trying too hard,”

or without, she should “make an effort.”

It tells her she is too big, too curvy, too small, too flat

– she is too much, not enough

It tells her lies and truth

and truth and lies

until she cannot tell one from the other.

instead of math homework, she’s adding up calories,

instead of breakfast, she’s chewing on the cuticles of her thumbnails,

instead of sleeping, her bedroom is a 24-hour gym,

instead of showering, she’s drying her tears,

instead of living, she just is.

the sight of her reflection in the mirror is enough to make her shatter

and when the voices overwhelm her own,

she drapes a cloth over the frame, gagging their words.

but It claws and crawls its way out from the glass

slithers into her ears and slides down her throat,

spilling into the cavity of her diaphragm.

now the words on the bathroom mirror are her own.

who decided her skin was a sin?

who indicted her bones a cage?

who determined her flesh as a source of release?

you. 

you taught the bathroom mirror to speak.

Why Fall is the Best Season

Fall has got to be my favorite season. Winter means Christmas and lit fireplaces, but the weather gets to be a little miserable after a while. Spring is a close second, but blooming flowers = allergies. Summer is obviously great because there’s time to relax, but here in Ojai we’re forced to spend the day inside in order to escape the sweltering heat. Nothing really competes with autumn.

Source: https://360degreesound.com/10-great-versions-of-jazz-standard-autumn-leaves/

It is the golden light, crunchy leaves, steaming chai and pumpkin bread that make me fall in love with this season again and again each year. Not to mention scented candles, long showers, cinnamon, football games and Gilmore girls. There’s a perfect balance between the lingering sunshine and cool, crisp breeze. Halloween means candies and costumes and parties; Thanksgiving brings with it cranberry sauce and family time and TV. Beyond festivities, I like to read books, listen to music, see friends, go thrifting and on afternoon bike rides in the meadow – all of which just feel special at this time of year.

And don’t even get me started on clothing. I won’t freeze to death if I wear a skirt or tank top, and neither will I drown in sweat if I opt for a knit cardigan or turtleneck. Plus, I recently got a pair of Doc Marten’s for my birthday, and though they weigh an obscene amount, I love them with all my heart. (They also make me another 2 inches taller, which is nothing to complain about).

All in all, autumn is without doubt the best season, and I’m looking forward to these next couple of months.

Poppi The Opossum

So there’s this baby opossum named Poppi who I’m obsessed with. She was rescued by @opossumsinspire on Instagram and she’s the most perfect little creature that ever existed. I’ll just show you her. You’ll understand.

Photo by @opossumsinspire on Instagram

This picture was the first one Poppi posted. It’s my screensaver. Sometimes I just stare at this picture. I love her bulging eyes and her limp toes. She looks huge here but she’s actually tiny. You’ll see it in the next picture.

Photo by @opossumsinspire on Instagram

Every joey needs a mama’s back to ride on. Even if it’s not a typical opossum mom. I love how scruffy she is.

Photo by @opossumsinspire on Instagram

Poppi’s tail features in this photo. Her little black birthmark on it is adorable. I love her so much.

Photo by @opossumsinspire on Instagram

One word: TEETH. I can’t.

Photo by @opossumsinspire on Instagram

She’s literally perfect. Look at those toes. Look at that face.

Photo by @opossumsinspire on Instagram

Poppi is the best at Uno. That’s the face of someone who has three +4 cards in her hand.

Now that you’ve got Poppi fever, my work is done. Go check out @opossumsinspire on Instagram.

Hesh Sesh

Today the OVS surf club opened the year with essentially a perfect dawn patrol. Although the waves weren’t incredible, we had 24 people in the water, and the OVS kids’ energy was immaculate. Even Liam (who was snaking and tackling kids off waves) was keeping everyone in a good mood. For me, that’s what surfing is all about; just having fun in the water. I’m stoked to have such a large surfing crew at OVS. Although I’m not the only surfer and certainly not the best, I was basically the only one pushing Byars for more surf-related activities last year. I mean most of us live less than 30 minutes from the beach and we’ve (at least since I’ve been here) never had this many kids willing and excited to wake up at 5:00 am to get into 64° water. Also with Mr. Mundingbecker being a new edition this year, it seems like we are going to have a real surf team and hopefully, it will add a piece to the OVS Outdoor Education that I think the school has been missing.

IMG_5313
pc: Zach Byars

Some of my Favorite Things Recently

I’ve started a new school, which, of course, is a challenging transition. It’s easy in times like these to get caught up in anxiety and needless worry, so I find it helpful to redirect my focus to the positive aspects of my life right now. Whether life-changing or minuscule, there is no shortage of things that I LOVE.

  1. Old books: The way the weathered pages feel between my fingers, the smell, the inky typeface.
  2. Pina colada smoothies: I seriously think I would live on these if I could – especially in 100-degree weather.
  3. Sleeping: There’s something so comforting about getting in bed with the AC on so I can snuggle up between the duvet cover and clean sheets.
  4. Shooting stars: I saw one the other day and it was magical.
  5. The sea: The floating, bobbing over waves and swimming with all the fish beneath me.
  6. Gilmore Girls: I will always aspire to be a Rory Gilmore.
  7. Sushi: What I would do for a spicy tuna, avocado roll, or a Lemon Flush special from Hakane…
pc: daily collegian

More Opossums

Look at these opossums.

https://imgix.ranker.com/user_node_img/50070/1001387734/original/1-photo-u1

He’s a baby. Shut up, he doesn’t need anyone’s opinions.

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/ae41f703-b7e7-470b-9d25-19bcce86d4d1/scale-to-width/755

He’s so thicc. Look at that face. Give him your soul or else.

https://ridabuginc.com/media/k2/items/cache/f4b6dca0e2911082f0eb6e1df1a0e11d_L.jpg

Happy late Mother’s Day. You’ll never be cuter than this mom. She’s perfect.

https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1577879673880-1f9c0e75b250?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxzZWFyY2h8MXx8cG9zc3VtfGVufDB8fDB8fA%3D%3D&w=1000&q=80

Teefs. That’s all.

https://imgix.ranker.com/user_node_img/50070/1001387782/original/1-photo-u1?auto=format&q=60&fit=crop&fm=pjpg&dpr=2&w=375

https://imgix.ranker.com/list_editor_img/18637/2598637/original/cute-possum-photos-u3

The tiny toes and weird worm tail? Perfection.

https://wl-brightside.cf.tsp.li/resize/728x/jpg/fdb/c05/856c685e69b85730c9f10a6117.jpg

I have to live knowing I’ll never be as happy as this opossum. Shoot me.

https://us.123rf.com/450wm/farinosa/farinosa2008/farinosa200800039/152702311-the-virginia-opossum-in-decorated-room-with-christmass-tree-.jpg?ver=6

He’s so concerned over the oranges being spilled… I’m going to cry.

https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/funny-cute-possums-opossums-119-61b9f4db116b7__700.jpg

No one will ever love me as much as I love this opossum. Nothing even matters.

Sorry for getting emo on y’all. Opossums give me so many emotions.

Itaewon Class

Recently I’ve finished a Netflix show called Itaewon Class, I will say it is one of my favorite tv shows. It was so popular in 2020, but I never get a chance to watch it. It’s a k-drama, but it’s not the same as the other k-drama that only talk about love or are so exaggerated. This show talks a lot about the issue in this society, and also relationships, of course. However, I don’t know how the director did this. Every time when I finished an episode, I just wanted to work harder every other day. I told myself that I don’t care how long it takes, I’m still going to study hard and work harder, so I can be happy in the future. I don’t want to expose too many details, but I highly recommend you to watch it. It’s really good!

Photo Credit: Itaewon Class

I cannot commit to a show

For some reason, ever since my senior year started, I have been physically incapable of actually committing to finishing a show. I have literally started eight shows and have only finished three, one of which I barely finished. I seriously do not understand why but for the past year I have had the attention span of a goldfish and only play video games or watch youtube in my free time, and yet I have like seven really good shows outstanding right now.

First is the plethora of actually great animes I have just stopped watching. I started Dimension W which was great but canceled my Funimation, I started Mushoku Tensei which was great but forgot about it, and then I started Devilman Crybaby which is easily the best anime I’ve seen in forever, and yet every day I just forget to watch it because I’m too busy watching someone try to beat Elden Ring with a torch for 2 hours.

Photo Credit: The Verge

And then there’s both Breaking Bad and Black Mirror which I’ve been watching for years now. I love both shows but for some reason, I just never want to watch them when I’m at home and can play a game or watch youtube. It’s so weird because there was a time wherein a three-week period I watched, Tokyo Ghoul, Death Note, Chivalry of a Failed Knight, and Soul Eater. Now I can’t even finish a 24-episode anime in a year.

My Obsession With Germany

I always thought it was weird to be obsessed with a country. But after a big struggle to avoid going to Germany, a weird enthusiasm for that country grew in me.


I find myself getting overexcited every time I encounter any kind of German connection, including people’s German last names, WW2 in history class, and even Sauerkraut from lunch. I almost forgot the reason that made me so afraid of going there. Instead of an inevitable reality, it turned into an attraction to a foreign culture.

Sadly, the same obsession didn’t happen with learning German. I have only opened my German books only once since this school year started.


As of today, this obsession is slowly fading away like my German skills, but one day I will pick both of them up and go to Germany.

www.politico.eu