My Key to Happiness

Sometimes I just want to sock someone in the nose. I obviously mean this statement figuratively but sometimes I get so riled up over things so stupid. I don’t mean I’m a little b*!/h that cries over everything, but I feel that a lot of stupid stuff happens to me. These emotions that are evoked from my pissed off self may define who I am to some people, however to me the way I deal with said frustrations defines who I am. Sometimes I eat, other times I try to wack golf balls as hard as possible, but most importantly I “sweep it out the door”. This is my twist on the common phrase of “sweeping it under the rug,” however I changed it for myself. I feel that sweeping the dirt under the rug implies its kept there and can’t be erased or forgotten, however under my rug there is an endless pit. There’s nothing going on back there, its void, null. There is no backstage or backstage party, once I sweep it behind the curtain its gone. I simply forget my emotion and uneasiness, what better coping mechanism could there be? In retrospect this may be destructive and it is obviously stupid to neglect self reflection, but hey at least I’m happy.

Angry man screaming — Stock Photo © billiondigital #161276248

Executive Dysfunction

I have ADHD, and a symptom that impacts my life every day is executive dysfunction. Executive dysfunction is something that neurotypical people experience too, but it’s usually strongest and most visible in people with ADHD.

Understanding executive function is the best way to get a grasp of what executive dysfunction is. As defined by Harvard Center on the Developing Child, “Executive function and self-regulation skills are the mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully” (Harvard, 2020).

When looking at the DSM-5 criteria for diagnosing ADHD, it’s obvious that most people with ADHD lack the ability to do these things without outside help, which is where the term “executive dysfunction” comes in.

For me, executive dysfunction hinders my ability to manage my time, control my impulses, remember important upcoming events, and split my attention between multiple things. These effects have led me to miss deadlines, accidentally ditch my friends when we were supposed to hang out, and miss points from not realizing that I’ve left out key details in assignments.

Since I’m in high school, my executive dysfunction mostly affects my schoolwork and learning experience. For an adult with a job, it could cause them to get fired because of repetitive mistakes. The stakes are higher for adults, which is why learning effective strategies to combat executive dysfunction is important.

I hope that this article helps people understand ADHD and its symptoms better. Remember to look out for your friends or family who have ADHD to make sure they’re taking care of themselves.

Works Cited:

“Executive Function & Self-Regulation.” Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, 24 Mar. 2020, developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/executive-function/.

Executive Dysfunction & Learning Disabilities in Kids with ADHD
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I would rather die than pick one of the choices

There is no right or wrong answer for every decision in life except the test in school, and that’s the problem. Every time I need to decide between two things, it can really take me forever. I just have no idea what to pick. I am really worried about myself at this point. My friends give me some advice that is to analyze the details in the choices, and picking one is beneficial for me. This is interesting. I know drinking too much boba isn’t good for my health, at the same time I can’t live without boba. You might think if I can’t live without boba then why not just buy it? The only concern I have is money. I don’t want to spend too much money. Now, I have to decide whether I should spend money on boba or not. My head is running a political election every time this happens. I just need someone to guide me on what I should do. Why is life so hard for me!

Here is a list of what I hate when someone ask me:

  1. What do you want to eat for dinner?
  2. Is the answer B or C?
  3. Did you like your mom more or your dad?
  4. What should we do next?
  5. What college do you really want to go to?
  6. Do you like Dr. Pepper or Root Beer?
  7. What is your favorite subject?
  8. If me and your mom fall into the water, who would you save first?
  9. Do you want to hangout?
  10. How are you?

Nerdy Fun Fact of why you shouldn’t drink too much boba

The fructose in boba will be converted into “purines” during metabolism , and uric acid will be produced after decomposition. Under normal circumstances, uric acid will be excreted in urine. Once the drainage problem occurs, the crystallization will accumulate in the joints and bone tissue, causing inflammation, swelling pain. The more sugar intake and more , the level of uric acid can also be increased accordingly.

Photo Credit: The Good Place from Netflix

iPhone 13!

Recently iPhone 13 just came out. I have been using my iPhone XR for almost three years which means I’m thinking of buying a new phone. Furthermore, I have turned eighteen recently. In Taiwan age of eighteen means, you are an adult. I’m able to drive, go to clubs and do anything. In my family, we usually have a tradition that we celebrate, go to a fancy restaurant to congrats we have turned to an adult. Yet, I’m far from my family while I’m studying here in America. All I could do is celebrate with my friends. For me, I don’t feel the changes from a child to an adult, but I feel sad that I couldn’t be with my family during this huge transition. After my birthday, one of my friends is using the same phone as mine, and he wants to upgrade his phone. At this time,  we have decided on buying a new phone together. I have decided to spend this much money to give myself an eighteenth birthday gift. I never spend this much money. I feel accomplish and happy. On the other hand, I feel it’s kind of a waste of money that my old phone didn’t break at all and still buy a new one. Nevertheless, I have done a lot of research that if the user using below than iPhone 11, iPhone 13 can be a great upgrade. There is a lot of features that have been upgraded including the battery life, the super retina XDR display, ceramic shield, and the A15 chip. If you are a user thats using iPhone 11 or below, it could be a huge upgrade for you.

Photo Credit: Apple iPhone 13

Impulsivity

I have ADHD, and a symptom I experience is impulsivity.

I often do and say things without thinking about the consequences. It happens most when I’m in an emotionally unstable or vulnerable state.

For example, when I’m happy, I go out of my way to do kind things for my friends. I’ll bring them Starbucks or surprise them with presents just because the idea popped into my head. However, it goes the other way too. If I’m angry, I’m likely to say whatever comes into my mind, no matter how mean it is.

When it comes to impulse control, I have to be completely mentally present to stop myself from doing mean or potentially harmful things. I’ve trained myself to stay quiet and think when I’m upset so I don’t ruin a relationship because I wasn’t paying attention to the words I was saying.

I also will buy things off impulse. I have so many meaningless objects in my room that I saw, liked, and bought without a second thought. It’s a struggle to be financially stable while impulsive, which could cause trouble for me later in life if I don’t get a handle on it.

Impulsivity can be annoying at times, but please try to be understanding of people with ADHD. We try so hard every day, and it’s great when people acknowledge that.

I hope that this article helps people understand ADHD and its symptoms better. Remember to look out for your friends or family who have ADHD to make sure they’re taking care of themselves.

Impulsivity: Definition, Symptoms, Traits, Causes, Treatment

Westend61 / Getty Images

Lyrics i’m working on

I’m Stress out

What I do will never workout

What I chose ain’t gonna workout

I just wanna scream out loud

I’m running out of air in this empty space

believe someone will save my life

I just wanna see the light

I’m all alone

Everything I have now is gone

Thought this feeling will never be long

Always believe I will find my goldstone

Tears drop

Cry out

Fall down

Break apart

I just want to be normal, not the way you see me

The voices in my head

The voices in my head

The voices in my head

The voices in my head

Photo Credit: Lofi Aesthetic

Fidgeting

I have ADHD, and a stereotypical symptom I experience is fidgeting.

The earliest ADHD symptom I can remember is fidgeting. Ever since kindergarten, I’ve bounced my legs under my desk. Sometimes it’s accompanied by finger-tapping. I remember having trouble doing mindfulness activities because I felt like I needed to move somehow.

In the past four years, I’ve started cracking my fingers. Every joint in my hand can pop because of the countless hours I’ve spent absentmindedly pulling and pushing on my knuckles. Sometimes, I do it so much that my hands are in horrible pain and I can barely move them.

I’ve been told various times that it’s annoying, that it’s disrespectful, or that I need to stop doing it. If I had a nickel for every time someone’s told me I’m going to have arthritis when I’m older, I would be rich.

However, I’ve never stopped. It’s not because I lack the ability to break bad habits, or because I hold a grudge against people who commented on it. It’s because most of the time, it doesn’t hurt me, but rather comforts me.

For people with ADHD, fidgeting is a way to expel the energy that our brain exponentially puts out. Fidgeting, while sometimes annoying to other people, is not something that should be repressed. It helps people with ADHD to cope with what happens in their brains.

Not fidgeting can make people with ADHD feel overwhelmed, and it makes us more prone to meltdowns. Fidgeting, when done in a non-harmful way, is a healthy behavior for people with ADHD.

I hope that this article helps people understand ADHD and its symptoms better. Remember to look out for your friends or family who have ADHD to make sure they’re taking care of themselves.

3 Ways to Help Fidgety Kids Sit Still - wikiHow
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Hyperfixations

I have ADHD, and one of the symptoms I experience most severely is known as hyperfixation.

A hyperfixation is when someone with ADHD finds something that interests them and becomes infatuated with it. For me, it’s usually fictional universes like Marvel or DC. Hyperfixations can last from weeks to months, or even stick around for years.

When I hyperfixate, the topic becomes my entire world. I have trouble eating enough, drinking enough water, sleeping for a healthy amount of time, and just taking care of myself in general. School becomes the second priority, and I have a hard time staying on top of – or even being able to finish – my work. I spend hours on end in my bedroom consuming my hyperfixation and transferring it into what I like to do. In my case, I like to write.

During the first few weeks of a hyperfixation, I will write obsessively about it. I have written essays about how good the object of my hyperfixation is, made presentations to explain the lesser known details about it to my family, and overall written over five hundred pages of fanfiction about my various hyperfixations.

It might sound silly for a teenager to become obsessed with children’s shows like Star Wars: The Clone Wars, but at one point it was the only thing getting me through the school day.

Hyperfixations are no joke. They’re a symptom of neurodivergency and should be taken just as seriously as any other symptom. People in a state of hyperfixation sometimes mimic symptoms of depression and anxiety like irritability, lack of care for their future, and distancing themselves from other things they would usually like to do.

I hope that this article helps people understand ADHD and its symptoms better. Remember to look out for your friends or family who have ADHD to make sure they’re taking care of themselves.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a1/bc/11/a1bc11f74ce368e494d7f699e2585474.jpg

What is our purpose?

What is our purpose? Why are WE here today? Is it to create, design, or to construct? Or might it be to get, give, or keep? Why do we act the way we act? Or talk the way we talk? Is our purpose to love; or to hate? To build just then to destroy. Why are some of use active in the morning while others don’t start till noon? Why are no two people exactly alike(and is that bad)? Why am I writing this; and why are you reading it? Do you ever sit wonder on what the world will be in 100 years or what is was 100 ago? Is our purpose to restore? Why are some of us rich and others poor? What is my purpose, and what is yours?

Photo from ukedchat.com

Summertime Sadness

Photo Credit: The Guardian For 200 Years

I know summer is already over, but I still want to give some throwbacks on what happened during the summer. It’s been a year when the pandemic happened, before the summer started I struggled with school so badly. I felt like I was drowning and couldn’t swim up to the surface all while my legs were tied up by an anchor. However, when the summer started, I felt like I have been to heaven for a minute. I could literally feel tears of joy slide down upon my face. The time has come!

Just before I’m about to get back to Taiwan with delight, my heart is immediately crushed into pieces. The Covid-19 cases in Taiwan suddenly rise from zero to thousands, and the number was still growing. I just couldn’t believe that all of it happened in a blink! 

When I got back to Taiwan after the quarantine, I stayed in my house for the whole summer. Exercise, games, practice for SAT is all I did for my summertime. I couldn’t hang out with my friends, I couldn’t travel around Taiwan just for a short vacation. I couldn’t go out and do what I usually do, which is dance. No matter what, I just hoped it would end soon!