Dawn patrol

As you lie there in bed in the midst of some of your deepest sleep, lying comfortable and in contempt, you let your body rest and recover when the alarm you set mere hours ago at 12pm goes off 5 hours later. As you lay there in your dream, being bombarded by the “by the seaside” alarm, when you find the strength to roll over and turn off your alarm, you lay there, your body begging you to go back to sleep and get a good night’s rest for the first time in months, you remember why you wake up in the first place. With barely enough energy how, you get out of your bed still in your pajamas. You go outside into your garage, grab your cold and wet wetsuit and your board, load up the car, head inside for a muffin and a Diet Coke, brush your teeth and finally head out at 5am. The car drive is quiet one. Trying your best to not fall asleep at the wheel, you pop the Diet Coke can open and make the drive to venture. Rolling into the parking lot, you start to feel the energy of the ocean. Stepping out of the car into the cold, opening the trunk to grad the coldest and wettest wetsuit known to man, and forcing yourself to put it on. Despite the cold, you hike out to the beach prepare your body with some light stretches and head out to the water. The first wave hits your feet as you tread amongst the slippery rocks, trying your best not to fall and ding your board. After walking the most painful and annoying walk of your life on the rocks, you manage to get to waist-deep water, where you can start the paddle. As you hear and barely see the first wave coming, you perform a duck dive; as the water submerges your entire body for the first time, the cold hits you like an avalanche, cold and almost breathtaking. As you emerge from the depth under the wave, still in shock, you continue the paddle as the next wave rolls towards you. After repeating the process of duck diving and paddling and getting pushed back you finally make it past the break. Sitting out there on your board, ready for a wave to appear from the darkness, is a feeling unlike another. After time passes and waves roll by, the first light appears, and with it, the waves truly emerge from the dark. As light comes to the sky, if the clouds are just right, some of the most amazing colors emerge, and the sky looks like a fake painting you see in a art gallery. Sitting there on the smooth water with the waves rolling is really the best feeling of your life.

This is my perspective on surfing in the morning. Also, I imagine this being said while talking to someone who has never gone surfing before and telling them about what surfing is like, but the speaker is too excited to really describe it exactly how they want to. Also after they would say something like “you just have to exspeince it to get it”

PC: https://res.cloudinary.com/manawa/image/upload/f_auto,c_limit,w_3840,q_auto/articles/3104/surfing-wipeout

Golf

Golf is generally useful for many things. It is a great sport that you can continue to play even as you age for future business. I started playing golf when a family member of mine was a golfer and told me that if I couldn’t play golf during our summer vacations, he wouldn’t take me with him. I started playing golf because of that little thing, and now it is my favorite sport to play. Originally, my motivation for golf was to drive a golf cart. However, now my motivation to play golf is to score well. This year, for the first time in my life, I competed in a golf tournament. Although my score was not good, I was more honored to be able to experience it for the first time in the United States. My driver has been good lately, so I would like to improve my putter. I would like to practice more and be able to play all the holes under 100.

pc:https://www.npr.org/2023/05/08/1160319153/golf

But,

I love the rain but,

It’s been raining alot recently and while I love the rain it’s been a very hard thing to live with, especially with an outdoor school. I love a good rainy day alone in my room making legos and watching movies, but the procrastination went wild. I found myself wasting time on things I knew needed to be done. I can’t seem to find the motivation either. Senioritis is kicking my behind and the rain certainly doesn’t help. I did love the alone time in my room though. The peace and quiet, how I could just be me and not have to worry about anyone else or the constant comments. I did sleep in a lot though and the motivation was lacking, but I do really love the rain.

I’m ready to graduate, but

I will miss my friends. I always think about how I’ve known these people for years and yet I won’t return again next year to another orientation day with them. We won’t make fun of all the new freshmen and reminisce on how small we used to be, but I also couldn’t handle another round of freshmen. No offense but this year was definitely the last.

I’m not a runner, but

I actually ran today and I was so proud of myself. I felt amazing the rain and wind beating against my skin. The freezing of my skin as I ran through that rain, and the constant repetition of a single phrase in the back of my head. Don’t walk! and I didn’t I made it the whole run with not a single walk. There may have been a couple of very slow running in there but I made it and I couldn’t have been prouder. My friends cheered as I finished the run the smile on their faces matched the happiness and pride I had in myself. although yesterday was an easy run so let’s see if I still feel this way next week. I don’t want to give up, my stubbornness won’t let me. I want to run with my friends and spend the last sports seasons hanging laughing and running with them. I just can’t believe it took me this long to start.

I hate lying, but

I can’t tell people they are bad at something. I feel terrible about it but I don’t want to seem bitchy about it either. I’m sorry but you are not as good as you think you are. I’m not saying I’m the best, god knows I don’t think that but I don’t act like I can. plus if you tell someone else they are bad at something it becomes a whole thing and they accuse you of jealousy or thinking you’re better, but trust me I’m the farthest thing from jealous. I don’t think I will ever be able to tell the truth when it comes to that, I’m not sure how people do it. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I don’t want you to embarrass yourself.

I want to pursue music, but

what if I’m not good enough. actually rewind I know I’m not good enough, I love singing don’t get me wrong but the music business is cutthroat you either have it or not. Do I have it? I don’t know, I feel like my friends just hype me up but paired with the section above what if they’re just lying? We will see. I couldn’t dream of living without music, but do I have what it takes. Well, I do have my father’s stubbornness so I know I’m not going down without a fight. hopefully, I make it, and these blogs are not recovered by the paparazzi.

I would love to keep writing, but it’s 12: 30 am and I’m ready to go to sleep.

PC:https://www.google.com/search?q=but&source=lmns&bih=813&biw=1440&prmd=isvhnmbtz&hl=en-US&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj44uqWq5uEAxUmM0QIHXWGAXUQ0pQJKAB6BAgBEAI

How is my sleep schedule so bad?

It is something that everyone needs in their life; however, it’s something that I lack. To be healthy, you probably need around 8 hours of sleep, depending on how old you are, but that’s the general recommendation. There are 24 hours in each day, and there are things I want to do every day that take up this time. Firstly, school each day goes from 8:10-3:40, so that takes up around 7 hours and 30 minutes of my day!! That’s a lot, but not to worry, I have roughly 17 hours left in the day. Ok, so no biggie. I can just do everything I need at this time, right? Well, you can’t forget about sleep, right? So that’s, let’s say, another 8 hours if you’re getting the right amount. So now we are down to a whole 11 hours in the day left for me to do whatever I want, well, besides homework, which might take 30 minutes to an hour, so let’s just say I have 10 hours left. So, ten hours in the day to do what I need, which seems like enough time, right ?? I honestly have no idea how I don’t get everything I want to do done, like what takes up so much of my time ?? I can’t figure it out at all. If I go to the gym, that takes about 3 hours ( I know it’s not great time management on my part), but that still leaves me with 7 hours to do whatever I want. Am I really on my phone for that whole time?? I don’t think I am because my screen time doesn’t say it’s that much, so I really don’t know. But all this leads to me going to the gym at 10 o’clock or nine if I’m early and then leaving the gym at 1 am and then getting to sleep at 1:30 or two, which is horrible, then waking up at 7 in the morning. So I’m really not sure what to do. Maybe I should make a schedule of my day or something to help. But honestly, I just don’t know. Let me know if you have any suggestions because I’m at a loss. This ended up just being a rant, but most of my blogs are.

My week……

Thanksgiving is over and Christmas break is only 2 weeks away. I am amazed at how fast this week has gone by. In this blog, I would like to write about the highlights of this week. The biggest event of the week was the soccer game. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I would play soccer this year. One of the reasons is that until last year there was no official girl’s team. But having an actual game motivates me and makes soccer more enjoyable. I was only able to score one goal in this game, but I thought it was great to go for one goal with great teammates. The result was 4-2 and I enjoyed the game for the first time in a long time. However, there were many issues in these games, and I thought that I needed to run more and improve my physical strength. Today, on Friday, we are watching our recorded game on the tv. To be honest, when I look at my own game, I am embarrassed because there are many areas where I am not strong enough. If I have a chance in the next game, I would like to score more than two points.
This weekend I want to prepare for the final exams and study so that I don’t choke myself.
I want to get my driver’s license and finish watching a Korean drama that my roommate and I are currently watching. I will be on vacation in two weeks, so I want to give my all to everything I do.

pc:https://www.jfa.jp

To be honest,

To be honest, I don’t think I’m very exceptional, and I wish people knew that. I know I’m not the best and I admit that constantly. So why do people feel the need to bring me down? I wish they knew how much I overthink and how much I know I suck. They don’t and will continue to say stuff behind my back.

To be honest, I think about it a lot. I really do care about what people say.

I hate it.

Why do I care so much? I wish I could just block them out, but I can’t. I always kind of hope they will change and care about my feelings. Anyway back to what I was saying, I am pretty mediocre at things. I really do consider myself a jack of all trades and a master of none. I can do most things, but I’ve never been good at anything. I love playing sports but then again I’m not good at any. There are so many people who are so much better than me at the things I’m “good” at.

My friends are probably my favorite people in the world. I love Liz and Karin. No matter how much I don’t think I’m good or how terrible I believe I have done they always make me feel better. They always cheer for me, and always hype me up. I want you both to know how much I appreciate you. You are the hotel California guitar riff, 2:34 in Pink + White by Frank Ocean, and every beautiful part in every beautiful song. I love you Hahny and Lizzy Pooh. Just a little appreciation to them.

It sucks when I do bad in anything, but especially sports. People have this preconceived idea that just because people are okay at a sport they automatically have a huge ego about it. That’s not always true, just because people say I’m good doesn’t mean I believe that.

Just so you all know I think I suck.

So when I do make a mistake (which is pretty often) they think it’s warranted to make comments on it. There’s a difference between complimenting someone and complementing someone to tear the other person down. Yes, they did a good job but repeating it over and over is no longer a compliment. It’s actually not that hard to do better than me, I’m not good. Please stop tearing other people down.

I hate it because I begin to hate the things I love. So if you take anything out of this let it be one thing. I know I’m not good you don’t have to keep hinting at it. Stop trying to push me off a pedestal you put me on. I’m trying my best.

To be honest, I’m scared to post this but I need something to post so here it goes.

Building the nest: Women's basketball wins opening game
PC:https://stanforddaily.com/2022/11/08/building-the-nest-womens-basketball-wins-opening-game/

Sports

I have never really been interested in sports, especially when I was younger. I never played a sport seriously, nor did I have any interest in watching it either. I think the reason why I overall completely avoided sports was because I felt like I couldn’t do it. I felt like every time that I tried to play sports in elementary school I just didn’t have the “skill.” This was a pretty negative way of thinking. I didn’t want to try. I didn’t have any motivation to, just because I thought I was not going to improve if I was not good at it immediately. This caused me to not branch out and try to find something I liked, which actually applied to other areas in my life involving skill as well. I simply lost motivation way too easily. When Covid hit and online school started, I hardly ever exercised. I thought sports weren’t for me. When I first joined my current school, I was nervous about all of the sports options. There were so many things that I hadn’t tried before. I heard many of the girls in my grade that were joining volleyball, and because I didn’t know what else to do, I joined it as well. When I first began to play volleyball, I was very discouraged. I started putting more effort in, and even though I was so terrible, I enjoyed it. I was excited to go to practice. I would talk to parents about it, and how happy and nervous I was to play in a real game. It is my third year playing volleyball, and although I am still in the JV team (and not good at all), I am so thankful that I first tried playing it.

Also, at the end of September, my best friend and I went to go see a baseball game that she invited me to. I have actually been to one baseball game when I was younger, but I can’t remember very much about it. My best friend first invited me to go during the summer, and we were so excited and ready for the day to come. When we arrived, just being in the environment with so many people passionate about this sport made it all the more exciting. We got into the stadium, and my best friend bought both of us matching jackets! I hadn’t even seen the baseball field yet and I was so happy. I had such an amazing time there watching the game with my best friend who made it even more special, and there was even a fireworks show afterwards. I’m really happy that I have come to appreciate not only playing sports, but watching them too.

pc: me

Soccer

The thing I have been most passionate about is soccer. I started playing soccer in Junior high school with my friends, and it has helped me grow in many ways. One of them is to have a goal and never give up until the end. I was very clumsy in kicking, lifting, and everything else I did for the first year. However, I went out to the field and practiced from 8:00 in the morning with the goal of lifting more than 100 times during the year, and I was able to lift more than 700 times in a row. The other thing is leadership skills. I became the captain of the soccer team and took on the role of organizing everyone. At first, I was unfamiliar with many things and had a hard time talking to people, but now I can talk to people on my own. Soccer has given me not only a sense of fun and maintenance, but it has also helped me grow as a person.
I am not sure now if I will play soccer this winter season, but soccer is my youth and I would like to continue to play it.

pc:me

Just My Luck

So I rolled my ankle the day before the league final track meet- an event I’d been looking forward to all season. All my life, there’s been a pattern. I will have roughly 4 days where everything is just fabulous and going my way, life is terrifically smooth and easy but it abruptly comes to an end, followed by an equally long period of just comically terrible rotten awful luck! And this eternal pendulum swings between luck and misery, creating balance in my polarized life.

It’s gotten to the point that I will recognize whatever “phase” I’m in and alter my behavior because of it. If I realize I’m in a bad luck week I will be more cautious and weary of what I’m doing. It’s like a legitimate phenomenon, really, if there are any scientists out there totally out of things to study, this could be it.

Right now, I am definitely in that bad luck phase. My computer just died while I was getting the charger for it WHILE typing this, I am getting bug bites too, and I accidentally spilled a drink on my piano earlier this evening. I realize these are serious first-world problems and it could be so much worse, but dealing with all these little annoyances really makes me mad enough to write a whole blog post about it. You’re not going to believe this- but my first draft of this wouldn’t even save so I had to start over!

To be honest I don’t know if I actually believe in luck or not, but what I do know is I either have it all or not even a smidge.

pc: https://i.pinimg.com/564x/7e/f3/9f/7ef39fd806562b1b3ce029a46cb68a18.jpg

My Favorites

Color: It changes constantly, but currently I’m liking electric blue.

Scent: Jasmine, or coconut if it’s summertime.

Flower: Pink tulips. If it’s a bouquet, wrapped in brown paper.

Season: Autumn, especially in Ojai, where it is still warm but not as sweltering and sweaty as in the summer.

Sport: Gymnastics, as always.

Book: How do I even choose? Maybe The Book Thief. Recently, though, I read The Virgin Suicides, which I thought was brilliant. The author’s poetic writing romanticizes even the most dreary of scenes.

Movie: Not my all-time favorite, but as of this past month, I loved the Mid-90s. The characters, the storyline, and the directing were all so well done. It definitely presented a perspective I don’t typically see.

PC: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/27/Mid90s_%282018_movie_poster%29.png

Food: Sushi; at the moment my go-to order is the lemon flush roll.

Drink: Oat milk matcha. I refuse to buy from a store or restaurant because I can make it at home just the way I like for a fraction of the price.

Fruit: Mangos or cherries.

Ice cream: Pistachio gelato. Delicious.

Number: 27 is my lucky number.