Impulsivity

I have ADHD, and a symptom I experience is impulsivity.

I often do and say things without thinking about the consequences. It happens most when I’m in an emotionally unstable or vulnerable state.

For example, when I’m happy, I go out of my way to do kind things for my friends. I’ll bring them Starbucks or surprise them with presents just because the idea popped into my head. However, it goes the other way too. If I’m angry, I’m likely to say whatever comes into my mind, no matter how mean it is.

When it comes to impulse control, I have to be completely mentally present to stop myself from doing mean or potentially harmful things. I’ve trained myself to stay quiet and think when I’m upset so I don’t ruin a relationship because I wasn’t paying attention to the words I was saying.

I also will buy things off impulse. I have so many meaningless objects in my room that I saw, liked, and bought without a second thought. It’s a struggle to be financially stable while impulsive, which could cause trouble for me later in life if I don’t get a handle on it.

Impulsivity can be annoying at times, but please try to be understanding of people with ADHD. We try so hard every day, and it’s great when people acknowledge that.

I hope that this article helps people understand ADHD and its symptoms better. Remember to look out for your friends or family who have ADHD to make sure they’re taking care of themselves.

Impulsivity: Definition, Symptoms, Traits, Causes, Treatment

Westend61 / Getty Images

Fidgeting

I have ADHD, and a stereotypical symptom I experience is fidgeting.

The earliest ADHD symptom I can remember is fidgeting. Ever since kindergarten, I’ve bounced my legs under my desk. Sometimes it’s accompanied by finger-tapping. I remember having trouble doing mindfulness activities because I felt like I needed to move somehow.

In the past four years, I’ve started cracking my fingers. Every joint in my hand can pop because of the countless hours I’ve spent absentmindedly pulling and pushing on my knuckles. Sometimes, I do it so much that my hands are in horrible pain and I can barely move them.

I’ve been told various times that it’s annoying, that it’s disrespectful, or that I need to stop doing it. If I had a nickel for every time someone’s told me I’m going to have arthritis when I’m older, I would be rich.

However, I’ve never stopped. It’s not because I lack the ability to break bad habits, or because I hold a grudge against people who commented on it. It’s because most of the time, it doesn’t hurt me, but rather comforts me.

For people with ADHD, fidgeting is a way to expel the energy that our brain exponentially puts out. Fidgeting, while sometimes annoying to other people, is not something that should be repressed. It helps people with ADHD to cope with what happens in their brains.

Not fidgeting can make people with ADHD feel overwhelmed, and it makes us more prone to meltdowns. Fidgeting, when done in a non-harmful way, is a healthy behavior for people with ADHD.

I hope that this article helps people understand ADHD and its symptoms better. Remember to look out for your friends or family who have ADHD to make sure they’re taking care of themselves.

3 Ways to Help Fidgety Kids Sit Still - wikiHow
https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/e/ef/Help-Fidgety-Kids-Sit-Still-Step-8-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Help-Fidgety-Kids-Sit-Still-Step-8-Version-2.jpg.webp

I don’t suck at looking cool while golfing though.

I’m really interested in golf clubs. Not new golf clubs, just random golf clubs. Obsolete technology, odd shapes, essentially the shit nobody wants. I’m not an old dude playing with anc collecting hickory (40’s) clubs because “this is how golf is supposed to be played”. I’m not one of the many high school golfers with a full new bag, to optimize performance. I like the 90’s and even some early 2000’s golf clubs. 

The only new club in my bag is my driver. I use a rusty blade putter from the 80’s, wedges from the 90’s, irons from before I was born, a novelty square fairway wood and a minuscule 5 wood that only serves to make me angry. My bag is like the closet of someone who only shops at a thrift store. 

Basically every other youth golfer or golfer period is interested in the newest clubs. These people also probably enjoy wearing dri-fit polos, cargo shorts, tennis racket belts. Nothing against these people, but I hate that type of attire. I typically wear t-shirts, shorts, and a visor or wide brim ‘aussie’ hat. I carry a bag without legs, old fashioned style, not because it makes golf easier, no no, all of the things I do make golf harder, i just like them *shrug emoji*.

I don’t really know what the point of this is, but I think appreciating old things and not always seeking the newest best thing is something that I think more people should try and do. 

Here are some retro golf clubs I think are really sick:

PC: Twirled Clubs: https://twirledclubs.com/

Are naps overrated?

Naps are most definitely NOT overrated.

I have never met someone who does not enjoy a nap. In fact naps are underrated. The greatest class in school history was and still is naptime in kindergarten. Taking a nap too late in the day could possibly mess up your bedtime if you wake up a bit too late.

Take Naps at Work. Apologize to No One. - The New York TimesPhoto from The New York Times.

One of the greatest feelings in the world is waking up from a solid and refreshing nap. Now what is a solid and refreshing nap exactly? To some a solid and refreshing nap may be a few hours and in a bed. To others it may take place in a chair and only for half an hour. Personally my idealistic perfect nap is on the floor in my room. My floor gets very cold and stays cold for quite some time so it generates an perfect base for a napping site. Personally I prefer to nap in either my gym clothes or a pair of jeans if I am on demon time. And as for a length I like to keep my naps from anywhere to 15 minutes to half an hour. Just a quick little refresher before I start homework or eat dinner.

If you say that daytime naps are overrated you probably

A. Sleep with the heater on

B. Don’t clean the rice before cooking it

C. Can’t walk n chew gum at the same time

Naps are underrated!

Summertime Sadness

Photo Credit: The Guardian For 200 Years

I know summer is already over, but I still want to give some throwbacks on what happened during the summer. It’s been a year when the pandemic happened, before the summer started I struggled with school so badly. I felt like I was drowning and couldn’t swim up to the surface all while my legs were tied up by an anchor. However, when the summer started, I felt like I have been to heaven for a minute. I could literally feel tears of joy slide down upon my face. The time has come!

Just before I’m about to get back to Taiwan with delight, my heart is immediately crushed into pieces. The Covid-19 cases in Taiwan suddenly rise from zero to thousands, and the number was still growing. I just couldn’t believe that all of it happened in a blink! 

When I got back to Taiwan after the quarantine, I stayed in my house for the whole summer. Exercise, games, practice for SAT is all I did for my summertime. I couldn’t hang out with my friends, I couldn’t travel around Taiwan just for a short vacation. I couldn’t go out and do what I usually do, which is dance. No matter what, I just hoped it would end soon!

The Revolution of Hair Between Brothers

Photo Credit: IKIDANE NIPPON

As everyone, most have known I have two brothers. I have one older brother and one younger brother. My older brother graduated last year and my younger brother just came to my high school this year. The students and the teachers in our school always got confused by our looks because we look so alike. Later, the hair revolution has started. We began to have our own dress style and hairstyle, but the changes in hairstyle are most obvious.

It all started when my older brother first trying out his new hairstyle which is the side parting. My parents weren’t used to it because his hair was too long, but they got used to it a couple of months later. By the way, I and my brothers’ hairstyle were all the same and it’s short, it looks like we had a bald head. Since then, I have tried out so many different hairstyles when I come to OVS. I had tried center parting, side parting and I also am the first person to perm my hair in our family! However, my younger brother soon changed his hairstyle to the center parting which means he asks me to also change my hairstyle. My younger brother always wants to be unique and stunning. For me, I just don’t want to look the same as my brothers. Therefore, I have found another hairstyle that where I belong is the Chonmage. At this time, we’ve found our hairstyle and we are satisfied with it.  On the whole, we still look alike, but the people around us can distinguish us from hairstyles.

I suck at golf

I suck at golf. I used to be really good at golf. I started about two years ago and kept getting better. I didn’t have to practice to improve, I would just magically shave off a few strokes a month. Last summer, about one year into it, I found myself scoring in the low 80’s, so I figured hey if I’m just improving like this I should probably keep doing what I’m doing. 

Little did I know I was doing a whole lot of nothing. I was just going to play golf at courses, never going to the range or putting green to practice. This caught up to me when I returned to school this year to find out that I was no longer the best golfer on the team. 

I’m not necessarily mad at it, just annoyed that someone whose name rhymes with schmogan won’t shut the fuck up about the fact that he’s now better than me. To be honest I do probably deserve a taste of my own medicine as I did the same to him all last year.

I am probably gonna start practicing and trying to get better now that I feel the need to be better than schmogan. Sort of glad I have someone to push me to practice, a reason to actually focus on improving but also don’t know if I want to improve. The last time I played was just a club throwing demonstration so maybe I just need to be a little bit less of a baby.

Photo Credit: Total Pro Sports

An Observation

From here I see my campus from an aerial view. If I turn around, I see the backs of the display books in the library. I feel as if I am spying on my own classes, looking through the glass as if admiring a fish tank. The empty space is filled with reflections of light as the mountains project onto the classroom air. The ceiling is as busy as the ground, as the light blends the air the way water blends light.

The soft, patchy hills feel uninviting up close as the pine needles keep me seated delicately. The towering trees are no mightier than grass in the valley, as the vertical space of campus is dominated by mountains, surrounded by empty air.

The birds aren’t tied to the ground. The space is theirs, and they are free to exist on a higher plane. They have their own conversations up here. They chatter amongst each other as I do with my friends in the confines of the trees. 

For this moment, I am with them. I exist on the higher plane, resisting the hour where I will return to my path on the game board of campus. The ground is vast, and I never considered my ability to break my trails. I’ve existed on this campus for years, and I’ve traced the same route each day, etching my footprints into the ground. I’ve left spaces abandoned and ignored. There are pockets in the trees where I’ve never set foot. The heart of campus is in the green leaves, though I experience life on the white concrete, referencing the trees as accessories.

From afar, these trees are the campus. Each little patch on the mountain is a three dimensional plant that stands alone. The buildings are silent amongst the loud winds that rush through the branches, and are invisible behind the deep, warm tones of nature. Before returning to my concrete trail, I will keep in mind where the life of campus resides. My existence circles the trees, and my classroom is not as tall as I once believed.

Image Credit: Home Stratosphere

Fully Vaxxed (well sorta)

I have both shots as of yesterday, and all I can say is wahoo!

I mean the first shot made me really tired and my arm sore, but nothing really bad. And the second shot caused me to get chills, massive headaches, and pass out. But all I can say is hallelujah… I am vaccinated and can finally start getting back to normal.

I still have to wait a couple weeks until I can leave my house without mask, according to the CDC guidelines, but it is one step closer to normalcy. I still plan on wearing a mask for many reasons- to protect myself, to protect those who haven’t gotten a vaccine, and to make it known that I am not an anti- masker or a republican.

photo credit: international disability alliance

Speaking of normalcy, what is it? It is not like I will be going to massive parties or hanging in large groups, I did not even do that before the pandemic. I think normalcy is going outside without a mask, making plans- such as brunch with friends or shopping at the mall- and seeing family members I haven’t been able to see since the start of COVID.

Being vaccinated will allow me to do “normal” everyday things and activities without the fear of catching a deadly virus.

Vaccine

Today I got the vaccine, and boy can’t I be more relieved. I feel safer knowing that I am almost fully vaccinated.

I got the first dose today and in a couple of weeks, I am going to get the second dose. I encourage anyone who can to get the shot- it is painless and will protect you from COVID. I know there were lots of disputes around these vaccines- Moderna, Pfizer, and Johnson and Johnson- but whichever one you get will help you tremendously.

I am not one to be afraid of needles and this shot felt like nothing, I didn’t even flinch.

Photo credit: CDC

If you can please get one, it is the most relieving feeling ever. The wave of joy is really hard to explain, you want to jump for joy. Soon enough life can go back to normal and we can hang out with large groups of people. Unfortunately even if you are vaccinated hanging out in large groups can’t happen yet. This due to the fact that not everyone is vaccinated yet.

Slowly but surely everything with be back to normal.