Finding Inspiration

Inspiration has to do with pretty much anything we do. If it is writing, drawing, dancing, cooking, playing an instrument etc. But sometimes it is hard to get inspired and we feel stuck. We sit at our desks starting a sketch or a choreography for a dance over and over again and we just get frustrated because nothing seems right. I get this feeling a lot.

After school I spend a good amount of time sitting in front of my laptop, looking through photos I have taken on my travels around the world. For me, photography is something to escape to and to relax. Going through pictures is almost like you are reliving these moments. I always think it is so overwhelming how much meaning a picture can have. I pretty much only take pictures of animals and it has grown to be my biggest passion. When I look at my pictures, and I get to look an animal straight into the eyes through a picture I have taken, it almost feels like as if I had some sort of connection to it. For a moment everything is quiet and it is just me and the animal.

Photography has its many amazing sides. You get to travel the world, see the most amazing spectacles that nature has to offer, but there is also a side to it which sometimes brings you down. I follow hundreds of other photographers on social media, and sometimes I scroll through certain accounts just thinking: wow. I wish I could capture pictures like this.

I have a bad habit of comparing myself to others and being very harsh to myself when it comes to the pictures I take. I try to find inspiration through others but in the end it just makes me feel like my pictures aren’t good enough. I have spent hours and hours trying to find a style, that when people see my photos, they know that they are from me. Every time I post something I think it is just not good enough, my pictures all look the same and they all just look flat. I get frustrated and I can’t find any inspiration or whatsoever. But this is part of the progress. Nothing is ever perfect. But there are moments, when I see a picture that I like, and it just makes me so incredibly happy and proud. And these are the moments that keep me going.

People text me telling me that my pictures inspire them. That they enjoy my work. And these are the moments that make everything so worth it. I love what I do and I am so incredibly thankful for all the amazing moments I have got to experience thanks to photography. I love sharing my work with other people, bringing people closer to our wildlife and nature, showing off the beauty and diversity our planet has to offer.

Photo taken by the author.

the sound in my ears

the drop of a penny

the splash of water

the cling of a glass

noise is more than just a sense

for some it is a lifestyle

for some it is an artstlye

without noise the world we know would be bland

the world would be without the beautiful sounds

crickets chirping at night

birds singing in the morning

it would all be gone

we dont notice it very often

but noise is an eccential factor to our lives

we see it as just a function of our body

but no, it is much more than that

noise is love

noise is happiness

noise is peacfulness

Johnson - Is music a language, as Stevie Wonder sang? | Books & arts | The  Economist
Art Credit: economist.com

Wheeler Gorge

Photo credit: anygivensunrise.com

This was the first outdoor education experience this year, so the resident girls were fortunate to be off-campus. There were only four of us since one girl had riding practice, and the other girl hurt her wrist. We all loaded up into the van and went to Wheeler Gorge.

When we pulled into the parking lot, Mr. Byars was already there. He had climbing shoes and helmets on the floor for us to find our sizes. Once we had all of our gear, we started walking to a climbing spot.

All of the girls went off to explore. We found mini frogs and climbed on some rocks. Once we got back to the teachers, we got geared up. We spent our time climbing on the rocks. We were either on belay or bouldering.

A few people were rock climbing for the first time. Ms. Reynolds and Mr. Sittig went on the climbing trip as well.

We collected many frogs and even did a boat race with things you would find in nature. Mr. Byars won the race. Some people walked around in the water, and others fell into the water.

Overall, the first outdoor education outing was a success.

Stars on the Open Ocean

the men in that big wooden boat heaved against the ocean

that endless blue

through the night they rowed

moving galaxies out of the way with each successive stroke

in the middle of the boat seated parallel to the back of the outrigger

one man focussed on his brown arm and the way it seemed to work by its own volition

his bicep roared in its quiet fight against the mighty open

In the back of the boat one man fell so deep within himself that he lost track of the stars

but the boat knew the way

and right here sat a boy who simply rowed

in time

open like the ocean

https://www.hawaiitribune-herald.com/2016/08/26/hawaii-news/two-day-oil-painting-workshop-at-volcano-art-center/

Day Dreaming

Remember the past, dream of the future

there is no changing the fact that they are gone

there is no changing the fact that you will not see them again

we miss the things that are gone

and take what we have for granted

no matter the experience

there is always the part of them we miss

there is always the hole in our hearts for what they turned us into

whether good or bad

it just makes or breaks us in the end

those who make it through the pain and hurt

those who push until the last second

they are the ones who are strong

we may have hated them

we may have despised them

but in the end

they made us who we are

Girl looking at sky clip art, anime girls, clouds, stars, Kyoukai no Kanata  HD wallpaper | Wallpaper Flare
Art Credit: wallpaperflare.com

A Starry Night sky

in my best dreams I can fly around the world

but my favorite place to fly, is the starry night sky

full of the wonders and curiosity of the universe

it has been the place of whom i love most

when i look up i can see them and remember

the times when i was succumbed by their beauty and grace

their gentle smiling face

it is not very often that i get the chance to reminisce our past

for when i do get the chance, time fly’s by quicker than a shooting star

the stars are a most amazing place

to those who are up there in peace, i envy to a degree

to those who look up at the starry night sky

what do you see?

Night Sky Wallpapers

photo credit: wallpapercave.com

an argument

her face hit the granite countertop just like that

with the force of 14 porcelain bowls hitting the ground

and thus ended the argument

there is no arguing at that point

what is there to say?

I’m sorry but…

ruins an argument regardless how well formed

in spinning systems a world was bent backwards into something far more intangible than emotion–no room to move as socks stick to floors that won’t let loose–and it gets to be so close, the walls, the center, the drapery–and it will not let loose–and it refuses to leave–with no where to go

he walked back and took shelter in the wall

averting his eyes

aware of the nerves in his front teeth

and feeling sick down in the bottom of his being

Kai Tai and Siyu Lai

My two favorites. Despite being different in many ways, their camaraderie is unparalleled, and it spreads to those around them as well. I am baffled by how they never run out of things to talk about.

I cannot think about present day Siyu without his smaller sixth grade self. That first year of middle school, he unknowingly started a cult based around him. I of course was one of his most loyal devotees. You know that accent that you hear sometimes when Tyler or myself or Adam are talking? That’s because of Siyu. I will admit that Siyu is a strange boy. But that is in the best way possible. His love for volcanoes and mumble rap are endearing, and he always has a moist handshake for those who extend their hand, even if it isn’t to him.

Carter is a bit newer, but it feels like he has been at OVS for much longer. Carter is one of the kindest people I have ever met. He always has something positive to say, and I rarely see him without a grin. One thing that I will miss in college is the arguments that we have in the hallway of who is more handsome; I of course religiously assert that HE is the handsomest of all, yet he insists that it is me. (Carter if you are reading this, you are the most handsome and you have it here in writing).

I will miss this duo quite a bit, but I am nonetheless excited for them as they move on in life. Their brains and personality will get them far, and I know that they will do great things for this planet.

The Boys

There is something beautiful about the congregation of adolescent males. Sure, most of the time something gets broken, the noise level goes through the roof and no one, not even the participants, understand what’s going on. But the camaraderie and jocular affection displayed among teenage boys is an experience worth having.

As I end my time here at OVS, I want to pay tribute to some of The Boys. The next blog posts will each describe one or two individuals who have been important in my time during high school. Some have been great mates in the musical, others on the field, and some by helping me with crosswords. But each lad in one way or another has made the last four years of my life better, so this is my way of saying thank you.

birds in the sycamore tree

“It started a year ago. I lost all awareness of time and the space around me. All I could see was his trembling body aching for help. It was my brother’s fifth seizure, a battle that he was in the midst of conquering for years. The control I took at that moment was beyond my personal relationship with him and the pain coursing through my heart, the control was my ache to heal. Since that day, I have had the ambition to heal, heal the broken, and heal people in dire need. ”

I wrote this a month ago for a scholarship essay. Even though it has become “normal” for my family, it’s not easy for me to talk about.

Three days ago was mothers day. Three days ago was also an anniversary.

May 10th was easily one of the harder days that I faced in my short lifetime despite the loss that I have experienced.

Death was introduced to me at a young age and has been one of the more consistent concepts in my life: my grandmothers, my grandfather, my aunt, a friend.

But this was worse. Grieving loss is one thing but the anxiety that is paired with the potential and fear of death is a much larger burden to bear.

Over the past 6 years, I have internalized many emotions and fears that I have for his life: Once I speak of my fears do they come true? Is his safety my responsibility? When does care cross into obsessive anxiety?

Eventually, I found acceptance. But it wasn’t easy.

Three days ago, we celebrated mother’s day with … peace and gratitude. I held my tongue as we sat under the sycamore trees while the birds sang above us and simply enjoyed what God had given us.

photo credit: fineartamerica.com