A little over a year ago, I was introduced to something that would come to change my life, probably for the worse. At first, I thought it was something innocent and fun, however, it turned sour and harmful very fast. You might be wondering now what this addiction could possibly be. Is it alcohol? Is it vaping? Is it hard drugs? No. It’s Stardew Valley. Now Stardew Valley is a simple 2D game that is a fun and chill game to play where you can farm, forge, mine, fish, befriend villagers, and other calm and relaxing activities, but Progen, how could this chill and relaxing game ruin your life? I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. for some god-forsaken reason, I can not stop playing that stupid game no matter how hard I try it’s physically impossible i am just addicted to the small dopamine I get for completing the quest or when doing another task in the game. I really need to stop because my grades are slipping because of that game along with my mental health.
Math will be my downfall. I have never been good at math, but I have always found a way to get an acceptable grade in my classes, even if I have no idea what is going on. This year, I have had three different math teachers which already completely set me back. I am in Algebra 2 this year and I just don’t understand anything at all. The first month of school, I wasn’t listening in class at all because I was distracted by my best friend. On every single quiz or test that I have taken, I have gotten an F and I genuinely don’t know what to do because now that I’m focused in class, I still have no clue what i happening. On my first test of got a 27 percent. It is really upsetting to me that I was so happy when I got back my most recent quiz and saw that I got a 58 percent.
I’m writing this blog post early because I’m leaving to go visit my sister in college tomorrow. This post is about the upcoming trip and college and it’s really all over the place 🙂
Not only am I excited to see where my sister goes to school but also because it’s where my mom went to college. My mom has always been my biggest role model so it’s intriguing to see where she lived during such a critical part of her life. I’d like to be able to picture my mom at my own age and the way she lived her life. I’ve always wished that I could meet my mom at the age I am now.
My sister recently told me that she wants me to go to the same college as her. This was an absolute shock. I questioned her reasoning and replied saying that she doesn’t even like me that much. Despite my skepticism, she stood firm backing her statement. Clearly college really does make people miss their family and reminisce about childhood. Whatever her thought process, I’m just happy that she actually wants me around or at least wants me to see a glimpse into her life.
Teachers have always told me how much of a leap up college is from high school but I’m not convinced. Everyone I’ve talked to in college has told me that it’s exponentially better than high school. I completely and full-heartily and possibly naively believe them. My sister’s hardest class is Spanish 4 and that doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that she’s in college. Let’s just say despite my family’s many talents, not one includes being linguistically inclined. I personally feel like everything is easier when you’re doing it on your own terms, and when you are in college, everything is up to you.
In addition to seeing my sister, I get to visit my family in Maryland who I rarely get to see and I also once again get a taste of freedom. It’s crazy to me how before coming to OVS I couldn’t care less about flying across the country but now it’s turned into something highly anticipated. Every day where I feel in control is now a blessing.
Girlhood is the best and the worst thing that can happen to anyone. I love girlhood so much, but I really hate girlhood at the same time. Girlhood is getting ready with your friends for something exciting, but girlhood is also not getting invited to things you really want to be at. Girlhood is screaming songs at the top of your lungs living like nothing else is relevant. Girlhood is having your late night hot tub talks with your best friends. What is girlhood? Girlhood is happiness, sadness, and everything else in between all mixed together. I feel as if I have not experienced enough in my life that events and people are stopping me. I want to experience girlhood with a group of friends who I enjoy being around. Sometimes finding the people is hard. As a teenage girl emotions are all over the place. One second you are having the best time of your life and the next you are wondering why you were not invited to something. Finding the best group of friends is the hardest part. Some girls are clicky and there is no way they will welcome anyone into anything they have going on. Others are too opened right from the start. And some you just are so unaware how to approach the situation. As someone who goes to a small private boarding school finding people is hard. There are the day students and the dorming students. Practically separate for me. The dorming students all live together so it is really hard to bond with them. I am also the only girl day student in my entire grade so that separates me off from them a bit. There is absolutely no connection. The senior class has some of the sweetest people you will ever meet but they are super hard to connect with besides a few who I actually have connected with. The connections made with some of the senior girls creates a stone in my path of navigating through girlhood. I went to a concert with 2 of the senior girls and just relating and bonding over music created a core memory in my path along girlhood. The bonds created with people while experiencing girlhood is undescribable. Recently my best friend and I have a fallout which was definitely a hardship through girlhood. After over a month of us on non speaking terms she stepped up and reached out to me. So many people are telling me so many different things. Some are saying “don’t be friends with her again,” some are saying, “you should definitely try to reconnect with her.” So of course I went to dinner with her. Right from the start it was immediately not awkward. We went to dinner and were at the dinner for 3 hours catching up on eachothers lives. Not talking to my best friend of 10 years for a whole month is crazy to think about. That is girlhood. The best friends that last a lifetime. The ones who stay even after the biggest argument and still love each other. That is what girlhood means to me. Everyone gets jealous over someone else’s life at some point in time but why waste time being upset over something that won’t matter later in life and just live in the moment. Some words I saw and will never forget are, “its everyone’s first time living to not just yours.”
If I had a bad addiction it would definitely be shopping. My shopping addiction is getting out of hand. Girl math creates a bigger issue for my shopping problem. Let me explain. Girl math is if a sweater I want is 100 dollars that is like 10 dollars per wear is I wear it 10 times. If I wear it more than it is technically free or has a discount. If I decide to go to erewhon one day and by a Hailey Beiber smoothie they that is worth like 4 starbucks trips so I won’t go to starbucks for 4 days. From experiencing this first hand, I can let you know not this live and think like this. So shopping…. my biggest love in life is my clothes. I just love clothes with everything I have in me. When I step into a shop I really like I get out of hand my brain starts moving at 100 miles an hour and I blackout. By the time I hit the dressing room I start to plan what shirt goes with what pants, what do I need to buy so I can make this shirt I am so obsessed with 10x cuter than it is, and what do I have at home that will perfect this item. My shopping addiction is definitely better than having a full blow addiction because I can control it and set boundaries for myself. That is not so say it is not still an issue. I went shopping probably about a month ago 2 weeks in a row… that is not allowed to happen again. I had to set a limit for my self that I was not allowed to go shopping for 2 months now. And right this second I am thinking I should go shopping before dance to get another pair of lulu dance pants. I have my reasons. Anyways this is just my rant about how I need to stop shopping and get a better hobbie for myself. Love you all bye!
We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it. (225 words or fewer)
This activity is not something that reflects some unique feature of myself, because some small pleasures in life are not that unique or special. Something I do simply for the pleasure of it is watch TV shows (or movies). I don’t have a television at home, but I do have a laptop with a good screen. I like watching TV because it allows me to turn off my brain and indulge in something unproductive, which is important now and then, I think, although I would never admit that to a college. A lot of my time is spent on school and required activities, so watching a show lets me unwind for a bit and just enjoy a little slice of my day. I never really got into extensive skincare routines or meditation or anything, so watching a show is like self-care for me. I am not going to stretch this answer into 225 words, because this is all I have to say. Thank you for reading.
To think about what the future holds is daunting. The me one year ago would have no idea what to think of my life today. As everyone gets older life gets harder. Loved ones pass, and people come and go in the lives we all have. As a person who overthinks so much, I of course already have a blueprint of the future I want for myself. I spend hours on Pinterest scrolling through the lives of others building up a plan. My future life will have to be aesthetic duh…just kidding. The future I want for myself does consist of “perfection,” but the faults in life will bleed through ruining the idea of a “perfect” life. This is how I want it. Of course, I will like for my life to be cute but I want others around me to realize not everything in life is perfect and everyone has their own faults and issues occuring. Anyway, enough with reality. I romanticize what college I will attend, leading into my lifelong career to support the family I want for myself. I am not really sure where I want to live but I have many ideas. Maybe somewhere the leaves will turn brown and at the least an hour or two away from some form of a beach. Something extremely personally important to me in my plan is for my kids to not have to go through childhood as I did. With this I want to take my skills I have now implement my skills into things for college and create the best life I can give to myself. Anyways since I have been sick I have been on Pinterest a lot so I have been obv making a Pinterest board about it so I thought I would write about it. Bye!
I told Karin I’d write this and she probably thought it was a joke but well here I am.
Karin, this is for you (and for a few select others I trust you’ll know who you are)
where to even begin, at kindergarten, where I met most of you or first to fourth grade when even more of you came. In order to save time and well not completely destroy my hands, i’ll start with freshman year. I think it was my favorite year out of all of them.
Freshman year
Whether it was volleyball, lunch, or hanging out in the music room, we were never apart. My favorite group of people who I knew would be by my side till graduation. (and they still are) We were so different yet so alike and anything we did, as long as it was together, was a guaranteed good time. Walking to class while fighting the weather, shaving our heads, or talking about controversial topics in humanities, will forever be some of my fondest memories ingrained in my head.
How I’ll miss freshman year.
I could go on and on recounting every single memory reminiscing on the easy days, but I have to save somethings for graduation.
Sophomore year
The year when the academics picked up. Harder classes, more homework, pressure, it all piled up but it wasn’t a hard beast to tame. Of course, they were still by my side, and our group simply grew. We had the best adventures and the most fun memories. Performances, Camping trips, and night swims were some of the only times I’ve laughed that hard. When we first discovered Karin and Luc’s ability to change color, or how fast he could ditch us when danger approached. I have nothing I regret, only things i’ll miss.
How I’ll miss sophomore year.
Junior year
Not my favorite. 4/10, too much drama and homework. no further comments.
I will not miss junior year. I’m glad it’s over leave it in the past fr.
Senior year
Well, its only the beginning but I know it will be great. I’ve been counting the lasts. Last orientation day, last volleyball practice, last halloween dance, i’m not ready for college. If I’m being honest I don’t think I can do it without these people. I won’t be able to laugh along with Karin’s hilariously contagious laugh, or practice music with Liz and Karin. I won’t be able to joke with Mariana or catch up with Allyanna on my way to class. I won’t be able to play on the same team as Annie or any of them for that matter. I’m not ready to leave all these people behind. I don’t want it to be the end.
How I’ll miss senior year.
To be honest it hasn’t hit yet. I notice it’s the last time we are doing these things together but the sadness isn’t hitting. I just feel like we will do it all again next year, but we won’t.
This isn’t exactly how I’d thought this would be written but here it is.
Sometimes I hate everything about myself. I sit in my room and I think about all of the things I’ve done wrong. All of the things I wish I hadn’t said or done and all of the things I regret. I take so much time looking in the mirror and picking out all of the things I hate about my face and my body. I think about how I’m going to change it and how I’m going to eat healthy and be cleaner and workout more. I think about how I’m going to change my brain and begin to grow and talk less and take up less space with unimportant things. But it never changes. I never really make the effort even though I want to be different so bad. I really am trying to be better and have better self-talk, but it’s so hard when I want to change everything about my personality. Everyone wants what they don’t have, I guess. Im learning to love myself even if its hard
The most popular weather may be sunny, but for me, clouds in the sky make me happy.
One of significant factor that captivates me about cloudy days is the ever-changing canvas they paint above us. Unlike clear blue skies, where the sun rules with its unyielding brilliance, clouds offer a dynamic display of character. Each day, the sky becomes a work of art, with clouds as the artists.
What I find most appealing is the unpredictability of it all.Clouds can change their shapes at whim and sometimes look like animals. It is as if they are trying to tell us something. These constant changes fascinate me, and I look up at the sky intently. Many people do not find clouds alone to be that fascinating, but the sky becomes a living, breathing entity that tells its own story.
Cloudy days remind me that change is a beautiful and essential part of life. They teach me to appreciate the transience of moments and the artistry of the natural world. I am grateful for these unpredictable cloudy skies, for they remind me that beauty can be found in the impermanence of life and in the constantly changing patterns of the world above.
OVS Journalism Blog 
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