I think I have wished away too much time. I think about it all the time, and yet I keep looking forward to when my life is gonna be “better”. I know that it’s never gonna get better because when I was six I wanted to be seven because that was my lucky number and when I was seven, I wanted to be nine like my friends. When I was nine I wanted to be ten because it meant I would be double digits and I could hold up all my fingers when someone asked how old I was. When I was ten I wanted to be thirteen so I could be a teenager. When I was thirteen I wanted to be sixteen so I could drive and go to parties and be independent and get time away from my mom. Now I’m sixteen and I can’t drive but I do live alone and I need my mom more than I ever thought I would. I’m sixteen, thinking I’m old and wishing I had the time I wished away back. But I’m still wishing the time away. I wish I was eighteen and graduated high school. I wish I was 22 and done with college. I wish I was traveling and getting married and buying a house and having kids. I’m sixteen and wondering what it’s like to be old. I wonder what it’s like to feel so close to death or being told you’re gonna die any day. Do they feel ready? But I don’t have to worry about that until I’ve wished all my time away.