I don’t like the idea of growing up. I always listened when people told me not to grow up so fast because I figured they knew something I didn’t.  I still feel like I grew up too fast. I want to be the age I am forever. I understand why people have kids so they can relive their childhood but it’s not the same as really being a kid. I want my creativity back and the way I used to think. If I already want to go back then how am I gonna feel about it as an adult? I guess it’s a good thing and I really should look at it on the bright side. There’s a new day after day and year after year with so much opportunity. I might as well take advantage of it as best I can. My goal is never to become someone who does not appreciate the life I have.

Surfing is thrilling. Especially when you do not know how to swim. This morning marked the second time I gave myself to the waves without a way to escape their grip if things went south. After forcing myself out of a warm bed at 5:00 a.m. and immersing myself in the cold of the dawn once, I became addicted. The perfect peace and clarity of mind that I experienced is what gets me out there in spite of my inability to swim. Still, every time I enter the tide, it seems as if I am playing with my fortune. Could this time be my last one? In my case, a mistake can be fatal. Although so far, things have been smooth, I am certain there is yet to be a moment when I will stand on the edge. Nonetheless, the calm and happiness I experience on the waves will draw me in again and again

PC: https://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large-5/man-sitting-on-surf-board-in-sea-dougal-waters.jpg

The best thing in life is sharing a love with people that doesn’t go away no matter the time or distance. I don’t like to text or facetime people. In general, I really don’t like having full conversations on a phone at all when I would much rather see them in person. Being able to go periods of time without talking yet knowing that the connection is still there waiting for you is a feeling of safety. The hard part with these connections is that when you are able to finally see them again you remember the full extent of how much you miss them and how much they really mean to you. Caring about someone and being away from them is hard. You live separate lives that don’t revolve around each other and the little details about your day that they would’ve experienced with you are now lost to the distance. It hurts a little to realize that the most recent additions to your vocabulary and the jokes in reference to niche lived moments don’t 100% align anymore. It’s just a little bit off. While this is sometimes saddening, I know that only a week spent together means being fully in sync again – like no one had ever been apart in the first place. Due to distance, these feelings of love and closeness cycle but I’m confident in this cycle and the people in my life I cycle with.

I miss last school year so much when I had much more freedom. This school year, rules are much more enforced, which makes sense, but I feel like boarding school this year is a much sadder environment because of this. Last year, people were always in each other’s rooms, and we would stay up late watching movies, cooking, and dancing. My homework load was much lighter last year, but I’m determined that I would be able to still do the things we did last year even with more homework now. Currently, all I do at night is procrastinate completing my homework. I feel so much more drained and less energized now, although I would get just as much or even less sleep last year. Before, having some sense of freedom was what kept me going, but now the rules have gotten so strict that I can’t even brush my teeth past ten at night.

The conflict between Palestine and Israel is extremely complex, so I am approaching it from a position of humility. 

I want to talk about the “savagery” vs “civilization” narrative I have seen in countless social media posts

Many have conveniently adopted the “savagery” vs “civilization” narrative. “Savagery” is when fanatics shoot people on cameras and drive half-naked, beaten women on the streets. “Civilization” is when a rocket launched by a drone levels a residential building. In the first case, the camera is going to be stained by blood, in the second one, the camera lens is far enough to not see the crushing of the heads and tearing of the limbs. The violence done by “savages” is real, evoking, close; the violence done by “civilization” is unreal, distanced, and easy to ignore. The first one is called terrorism, the second one is a long-range precision strike weapon. Terrorists cause deaths, civilization causes collateral damage. Terrorism is abominable, the strategic operations carried out by the civilization are easy to ignore. Gaza is an experiment of locking 2 million people on a tiny patch of land and forcing them into poverty, lack of basic human needs, and inability to flee. The generations raised in this chaos and destruction become an excellent recruiting base for extremist organizations like HAMAS. Searching for the right or wrong amid this war seems pointless to me. We as humanity are collectively guilty of terror like this occurring, and we as humanity are collectively responsible for creating a better future.

PC: https://static.euronews.com/articles/stories/07/96/45/84/320x180_cmsv2_9ae07b19-cd5a-5d4b-a74d-468ab31ce2c7-7964584.jpg