Day: March 5, 2024

poetry rambling

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In English, we have a “March Madness” poetry bracket. I like that we are reading poetry instead of writing essays. Writing essays is fine too, but reading poetry is more enjoyable. After reading so many poems in one sitting, I’ve found a greater appreciation for poetry, because the range of poetry styles and topics is so diverse. I submitted “The Rose Family” by Robert Frost because I thought it was really cute. Another poem I really like is “My November Guest” by Robert Frost, even though I didn’t like it at first because it seemed like any other poem. Once I found an analysis of the meaning, however, I felt more appreciation for it. However, there were some other poems I also really liked. I liked reading “This is Just To Say”  by William Carlos Williams, although I’m not sure how exactly poems like that qualify as poems. I don’t like descriptive poems about landscapes and things, because they feel so dry and meaningless. I like the poems that don’t make any sense because they seem more profound that way. For example, I have no idea what “They Shut Me Up in Prose” by Emily Dickinson means, but it is really enjoyable to read, and I bet it will be even better when I understand it. Also, “Masks” by Shel Silverstein is really cute and it has a good message behind it. Shel Silverstein writes a lot of nonsensical, funny poems, but there are some really good, more heartfelt poems buried among the fun ones. Even some of his silly poems, like “The Generals,” potentially have a more serious message behind them. I find it really impressive how authors of poetry and other writing have such a capacity for evoking emotion and experiences.

Picture Credit: Department of English

Miami

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Miami was a surprise to me. It’s a city I hadn’t thought much about before, but it amazed me. I didn’t expect to see such clean and pleasant streets and city atmosphere. For some reason, I always thought of Miami as some kind of village or something similar. However, the city turned out to be very pleasant to me. Being there reminded me of the years when I lived in Cyprus. I think all resort cities have such a serene flair. I really liked the beach near which we stayed. The sand was clean, and the water had warmed up to a state where I could swim in it. The only thing that disappointed me was the condition of my skin in Miami. Usually, when I’m at home, I have a diet routine and all the skin care products. While traveling, I just ate everything, as if the rules set by my dermatologist didn’t exist at all. I ate sweets and fatty foods, drank sodas and juices which make my skin break out lol. Now, I need to quickly restore my skin, eating rhythm, and workouts. I wish myself luck.

pc: me

I am changing

baka228Leave a comment

I am changing and cannot understand the nature of my changes. At the beginning of the year, something happened to my consciousness, and I began to make decisions that I would have never made before. I gave up all my bad habits, which was not easy, but I managed to do it and continued to work on myself. I took up sports and started going to the pool again. But not only did my physical habits change, my consciousness began to undergo a kind of transformation.

I started to question again how I feel about myself in society and in my body. I realized that for a long time, I’ve been hiding a large part of my personality because it doesn’t fit into the society in which I currently find myself. I tried to assimilate and be part of society, but it just never worked for me. I am chasing something that doesn’t belong to me and just wasting energy on it. I shouldn’t chase; I should attract the people and events that I deserve.

Also, I once again questioned what I would like to do in the future. It’s a difficult question, but now I have something like a life plan for the next year. This pleases me, and my plans look intense, but I understand that it will not only be fun, I will have to work very hard again to achieve what I want. But I’m not afraid of hard work, so I’m ready to do everything I can to achieve my goals.

Also, I’m worried about my appearance. Living in California, I started dressing in hoodies and sports pants. This style doesn’t suit me, and I feel lazy and unattractive. Also, I stopped doing facial massages and taking care of my hair sufficiently for it to look the way I want. In short, I started taking care of my appearance again, I see the first results, and it cannot but please me.

In general, unexpectedly for myself, I am undergoing a kind of transformation, and everything is moving in a good direction.

pc: https://i.pinimg.com/736x/bb/f9/4d/bbf94d790c3e31177c4d9e1830891cd7.jpg

NYC, Fifth Avenue, Sunday 2:00 PM

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I have been to many Broadway musicals, but until today, I had never seen Moulin Rouge. To be honest, I can confidently say that this performance is one of the most vivid memories of my life.

The softly dimming lights turned into complete darkness. When the lights go out in the auditorium, the audience’s hearts usually flutter in anticipation of the show. People in the audience cough or open their snacks. This time, there was a crushing silence in the room. The moment the lights went out, the world froze, and the dense walls of the theater cut off the audience from the ceaselessly noisy NYC, immersing them into a new world—a world of love, secret meetings, power struggles, and unrestrained and non-stop performance.

People have always strived to feel alive. In ancient times, in pursuit of this feeling, thrill-seekers resorted to death fights. Some found it thrilling to watch others die, for watching someone else’s death makes the observer’s blood run faster, adrenaline intoxicates, and sharpens the sense of life in vivid colors. A prime example of humanity’s love for bloody entertainment is the mega-popular gladiator fights. Both commoners and the elite always sought out such spectacles.

Like many, I chase the feeling of pure consciousness and the sharpness and reality of life. In search of this feeling, many resort to drugs, clubs, etc. These are destructive methods of experiencing the sensation of life, yet they work just as well as gladiator fights did.

I found myself in a feeling of absolute reality during the performance. Intense emotions, from tears to laughter, made me feel alive. I had not felt this sensation for a long time, and I was glad to experience it again.

pc: me

Usually i try to write

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Usually, I try to write about something worthwhile, about my thoughts, feelings, or events that happened to me, and which would be interesting to share. But today is not that day; today, I want to talk about all sorts of nonsense that has been on my mind lately.

47 days. After precise calculations, I realized that I have exactly 47 days left to go to school. It seems like this number should be much larger, but definitely not in my case. I am the most vivid case of senioritis you can find on planet Earth. Immediately after receiving the acceptance letter from the university I wanted, unexpectedly even to myself, I just stopped worrying about what happens at school. I am absolutely calm about not doing homework, and it doesn’t bother me much. I won’t lie, I never really liked the process of studying in an American school, and the only reason why I truly strived and learned subjects was my admission to the university; now that the goal is achieved, the motivation is completely gone. In my case, trying to find opportunities to reduce my days spent in school buildings, I discovered that some camps take away as much as 5 days! I signed up for many, which significantly reduced my time spent at school this semester. I am glad that I have very little time left until the end of school. I won’t lie, I will be the happiest person on graduation day, during the ceremony I will definitely be crying, but not out of sadness but from overwhelming happiness.

The second thing I wanted to talk about is my sleep. Lately, I’ve been having terrible problems with sleep. I wake up every hour at night, and if I’m unlucky enough to start thinking about something that bothers me, then I can’t sleep for a couple of hours simply because I can’t stop thinking. It bothers me, but I can’t do anything about it.

PC: me

One Step Closer to Freedom pt 2

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

I checked the mail every day for my paper and finally on Saturday after getting Starbucks I biked home and like usual I checked the mail and there was a letter addressed to me. At first, I was confused but after reading who the sender was my body was filled with a sense of excitement and anxiousness and sentiment. As excited as I was it also felt sentimental in a way. I love driving with my parents, honestly, I probably talk to them more during drives than at home. That’s something I can get over but the anxiety I had about passing my test and having a good photo. I hate my passport photo and I wanted to have a good driver’s license photo. I took over 20 practice tests and as I was falling asleep on Sunday night all I could think about was my permit test. I woke up and got ready for school and the only thing I was thinking about was the test. I was so focused on the test that I forgot to study for my math test and definitely failed it. Back to the exciting stuff I headed down to the DMV and got registered. I had to take a vision test and I passed, feeling confident it was now time to take my photo and this is where things begin to go downhill. My photo genuinely looks like I am being held at gunpoint. I shook that off knowing I could retake it when I got my license and headed over to the testing area. As I pressed start my heart began to race. At first, I thought you could see your errors at the end but then I got one wrong and I realized I was doing pretty good. I was 25 for 26 I finished my test pretty quickly and only had 3 mistakes as soon as the words “congratulations you passed head over to the window” appeared on the screen I was filled with joy. I finished up the paper and headed over to Starbucks. My mom let me drive to pick up my brother from school and then drive home. Although I have countless missing homework assignments that was the first time in weeks that I felt productive. This brings me one step closer to my license.

pc:me

One step closer to freedom

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

For the past few months, I have been doing my driver’s ed and I finally finished last Monday. To take your permit test you need a physical paper that states you have completed your online driver’s ed. This slip takes 2 days to 2 weeks to arrive and I needed my paper to come before March 4 because that’s when I was planning on taking my test. I’ve always dreamed of having my license and being able to drive anywhere I want to. As lovely as Ojai may seem I’ve lived here my whole life and well there’s not much to do. The freedom of having a license has always been something I have been excited about and getting my permit was moving me one step closer. I have many friends in Ventura and often go. there to hang out with them so being able to drive would make hanging out so much easier. Anyways today is Friday and I still don’t have my. paper but I’m still studying hoping it will come tomorrow or Monday.

pc:”Bmw Car” by Maxwell Davis/ CC0 1.0

Tiktok

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

I need to get off TikTok. It’s so entertaining but every time I am bored I find myself stuck scrolling and it’s becoming an issue. My sleep schedule is slightly ruined by my obsessive scrolling. It distracts me from doing my school work and focusing on things that are much more important. I did give myself a screen time limit on TikTok but every time my time is exceeded I just say ignore for the rest of the day. I don’t know. I need to delete it. But it is a time killer. It is also a major time taker and waster. I would much rather be watching a cute movie while baking but I loose my time from sitting on tik tok. But like at the same time… I learn while I am on tiktok. I learn events going on in the world previously and current. I learn recipes. I learn hacks and tips for classes I am taking in school. I learn a lot more too. My point is I am stuck. Should I cut down on my screen time hours and do things more productive or should I get trapped in the social normalities. I know the correct answer is to cut down on tiktok so I am going to make it a goal to be more productive.

PC:ME

Pet Peeves Part 2

godgoldngloryLeave a comment

We are back with Part 2 of my top pet peeves. First off are people who have clearly never worked in the customer service industry. I get having a bad day and being less cooperative than normal and all of that, but some people clearly have had everything done for them their entire lives and treat those who are working for their benefit like dog poop. Secondly, I literally hate minions so much. Their stupid faces and their stupid noises, please stop. I hate every single thing about them, so we don’t need to dwell on this one. Next, it’s so annoying when your nose is so stuffed you can’t breathe without your mouth open. I am not a mouth breather usually, so when I am forced to be because not a single air molecule can pass through my nostrils, it is quite upsetting. Next, I have people who interrupt other people constantly and have zero awareness. There is a difference between interrupting people and doing it without any surrounding awareness. That’s all I need to say there. Elaborating a little on what I was saying earlier about small dogs, and I know they’re not particularly super small, but I can’t stand Shiba Inu dogs. I get that they’re all cute and kawaii and nice, but their faces kinda annoy me. Lastly, rounding out the series, are people who try way too hard when singing in the car. If you’re with a group of people, especially friends like on a drive somewhere and you are playing music, you don’t have to prove yourself or anything like please. This is not American Idol. So please, keep your tone-deaf screaming out of the car and never let it touch my ears again. This one was a bit longer than the last one, but as you can tell, I am very passionate about some of these things. I would be happy to oblige any requests for a Part 3. I’m sure I can find more content to make one.

Dave the Minion Minions Animated film Tim the Minion Universal s, the minions, illumination, despicable Me, universal Pictures png | PNGWing

PC: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQg3tvKO-rxmp4aoEZcjZiLMeCwOqnPH6Mj8g&usqp=CAU

Credibility

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First things first, if you are hungry, have a snack – I don’t want any negative reviews on my blogs.

Ate something? Let’s get started.

Robert Sapolsky. Have you heard this name yet? If you haven’t, I promise you will in the near future. A quick YouTube search reveals he has aired at TED, Andrew Huberman, and Big Think. His most viral lecture posted on Stanford’s channel has attracted over 17 millions views. The source of this attention is Sapolsky’s stance on the Free Will. For him, humans have no true control over their decisions.

This time I don’t want to go into the philosophical weeds, but instead talk about – human ignorance.

For that, I need you to watch this 1-minute video: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/OsleLlBWlBo

Hopefully, the stars aligned in a way that gave rise to just the right hormone configuration that made you watch the video.

Years ago, when I stumbled upon the Extraneous factors in judicial decisions(commonly known as the Hungry Judge) study, I was blown by how faulty human nature is. The fact that one person’s hunger could result in another person’s life-long sentence was astonishing and angering to me.

Not so long ago, I stumbled upon this article: http://daniellakens.blogspot.com/2017/07/impossibly-hungry-judges.html

I was once again blown by how faulty human nature is. This time, because of my own naiveness and either foolishness or bad intentions of the 1,939 scientists that cited the notorious study.

The article proposes that the study should be dismissed simply because of the absurdity of its findings.

To quote Lakens: “If hunger had an effect on our mental resources of this magnitude, our society would fall into minor chaos every day at 11:45. Or at the very least, our society would have organized itself around this incredibly strong effect of mental depletion.”

The study has received so much criticism that the second sentence on its Wikipedia page is about its possible flaws:

“The hungry judge effect is a finding that judges were more inclined to be lenient after a meal but more severe before the break. It has been suggested that this may be an artifact of the scheduling of cases, based on their likely outcome and duration.[1]“

And yet, 1,939 scientists including respectable Robert Sapolsky cited it. Whether they did it out of ignorance or in a desperate attempt to support their own studies is not entirely clear.

However, it is clear that common people like me, putting our faith to the rigor and objectivity of the scientists, need to be wary of how foolish even the most educated of us and them are.

PC https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1234040721p5/187.jpg