I always wonder if fate is real. It helps to just say that everything happens for a reason, but what if it doesn’t. What if everything just happens at random. I wonder if it’s really random who dies early and who dies of old age. It could be that there is a God, and he calls certain people home early. I don’t know if I believe in God because it’s hard for me to have faith. It’s hard for me to spend time devoting myself to something that could be made up. I don’t understand the concept of death. I don’t understand how I will one day just not exist, that my brain will just shut down. I like to believe in past lives and to think that we go on all different types of Journeys in different forms, but I try to think where I was before my birth and I just did not exist. I don’t remember anything before a couple flashbacks when I was really young. I don’t understand the concept of growing up or that everyone else is growing up around me. I  I’m doing a research paper on Emily Dickinson right now, and it has made me wonder, how could someone who was so afraid of death have died so long ago. I wonder what she knows now that we don’t. Did her fears become reality?