Day: April 29, 2024

Sleep Deprived

uwucutiepatootieLeave a comment

I have gotten so little sleep this year and it has truly caught up to me. even when I do spend one night sleeping a lot, it doesn’t help at all. I never feel energetic anymore and all I ever want to do is nap. I have procrastinated a lot with my homework this year, leading to starting my homework really late. Now, I still procrastinate with my homework but fall asleep accidentally without doing it. I can barley even stay awake in class, and during the day I always need to take naps. Not only do I always feel exhausted, but I always feel exhausted but I always feel exhausted. I look like I have two black eyes. I need it to be summer immediately so I can pull myself together again. My lack of sleep is also leading to me always feeling sick and I need to fix my health. There is only one more month of sleep deprivation until summer when I can sleep all day.

“sleeping in bed” by NappyStock/ CC0 1.0

Lazy

uwucutiepatootieLeave a comment

Lately, I have noticed that I have been struggling with doing anything. I can’t do my homework, clean, or even stay up. I am incapable of getting anything done and I am exhausted. I have so much work to catch up on and its terrifying. I have no clue whats going on in any of my classes and I don’t even know how to start catching up. There is only one month left in the school year and now is the time to lock in, but I can’t. The only thing I am able to do with my time is go on my phone and watch TV. I used to be super organized with scheduling my homework for the week but now I assume what work I have and don’t even check the school website. Because I’m already so behind on my schoolwork, I don’t even want to think about it, so less and less work is being done. This week I need to lock in and stop being so lazy.

“Sleeping Bed” by elizabeth lies/ CC0 1.0

Losing a Friend

uwucutiepatootieLeave a comment

Over the past couple months, I have watched me and my best friend that I have known since I was four drift away. We have been there for each other for so long and she was like a sister to me. Since last year, I have watched the traits I loved about her start to fade. We used to talk to each other everyday and see each other every weekend but she seems to never have time to talk and whenever I ask her to hangout its always a maybe instead of a yes. When I do see her which is typically only once a month, she calls her other friends the whole time and shows a lack of interest in my life. I had a talk with her about it a couple months ago, but nothing seemed to change. A week ago, I texted her in the nicest way possible telling her how I felt. She took two days to respond when in her apology she made excuses the whole time instead of owning up to it. I deceided to ask her to take a break from our friendship which is something I thought would never happen. Ever since I have stopped speaking to her, I haven’t even noticed a change in my life. I considered her my closest friend but I didn’t even notice how far we really drifted.

“Girls Friends” by Julia Caesar/ CC0 1.0

Even if it’s hard.

urmom8beanLeave a comment

You have to keep going even if it’s hard.

You have to push through. Finish school and get into college. Everyone talks about how hard Senior year is but I never imagined it would be this hard. I’ve had plenty of juniors and underclassmen telling me they have “senioritis”, and I remember saying the exact same thing when I was their age. Now I know how terribly wrong I was.

It’s F****** hard (please excuse my language)

I don’t know if this is just me, but everything is hard. Getting up, god it’s so hard not to take a sick day every day. Getting ready, doing skin care, taking care of myself, and even getting dressed comes with its daily sighs.

The hardest thing to do is work. I open the document it’s up on my computer, and stays that way from 7 to 1-2 in the morning. That is when the crisis begins It is 1 am already late so I just go to sleep, but I haven’t done anything so I should work and get a little done at least. Eventually between the worrying, overthinking, and the guilt I pass out around 3-4 feeling super guilty for not doing anything and not going to bed earlier. The next thing I know I’m 3 blog posts, 1 essay, and a whole bunch of emails behind. Luckily I’m not the only one not doing anything and I think the teachers understand to a certain extent.

It’s hard but I have to keep going, meaning I can’t stop now, meaning I have to do it. I will do it no matter what. Because no matter how hard it is I only have 4 more weeks left of my senior year. 4 more weeks left with my best friends, 4 more weeks of struggle. I can do it I have to for him. DEP SSP te amo<3

The Magic of the Hummingbird – Spiritus Arcanum
PC: https://spiritusarcanum.com/blogs/news/the-magic-of-the-hummingbird

My summer plan

graypenguinLeave a comment

With only six weeks left until summer vacation, this school year seems to be coming to an end in a flash. It is hard to believe that summer is just around the corner, especially this year!This summer vacation is going to be one of the most important and busiest summer vacations I have ever had. There are many things I want to do, but the biggest thing I want to do first is to prepare for my college applications. As part of that, I plan to work as a golf caddy and as a kayaking and snorkeling tour guide in Okinawa, just like I worked last summer. I am really looking forward to earning my own money and buying the things I want. I also need to prepare for the TOEFL test, and in terms of vacations, I am looking forward to going out to Tokyo and Osaka to meet friends and travel with my family. I think this summer will be a good opportunity for me to grow a lot, so I want to spend my time in a meaningful way.

pc;https://www.unoriginalmom.com/free-printable-weekly-summer-activity-plan/

Being Clumsy

leapingwaterLeave a comment

Being clumsy might be funny but it isn’t fun. Like I will literally crash into things all day long and get bruises and I won’t even know where they come from or realize I got them in that moment. To be honest, it’s frustrating, and I haven’t always been a clumsy person. It’s like- the more you get in your own head about it, the more clumsy you become. For example, if I’m carrying a lot of things, I think to myself, “Don’t drop them. Don’t drop them” and then guess what. I drop them. This is super embarrassing, but one time I was bringing out glasses to my parents and guests at a get-together at my house, and I tripped over the sliding door, shattering a few of the glasses. In front of everyone. It was not fun. I envy people who can do things so naturally with ease and not mess up. Maybe one day!

pc:https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/full-body-photo-young-clumsy-600nw-2260331251.jpg

Sitting on the rock under the oak tree

poofypuffyLeave a comment

I just noticed how nice the air smells. I think it is the smell of orange blossoms from outside the school gate. The wind is bringing the sweet flowery smell up the hill. I can hear the creek flowing. It is the sound of a hundred little crashing splashes overlapping into a constant white noise. I thought to write a thousand, but I feel the creek is small to be thrashing that much. The rock I’m sitting on is cold, but my cheeks are warm. As I write this, a wind is blowing across my face as if to cool it down. I am grateful for all this sweetness. The wind silently moves the leaves in the trees in a way that the trees don’t move so much as breathe, change. 

I don’t often appreciate things this way, but I wish I did. For some reason, I can only see the things in front of my face when I’m forced to consciously decide to. So many things in our modern lives are made to tune things out, and when the smothering noise fades, it’s easier to stuff our ears with cotton or pick up cymbals than to process the unpredictable or unpleasant.

Picture Credit: The Editorial Board of the University Society Boys and Girls Bookshelf (New York, NY: The University Society, 1920)

Caffeine

graypenguinLeave a comment

Caffeine is especially necessary during final exam week. However, I don’t wake up after drinking energy drinks from certain companies. This interferes with my school life. I usually drink coffee when I want to wake myself up, but it is almost more of a way to convince myself mentally that it’s working. As a matter of fact my mother also drinks nearly 10 cups of coffee a day because caffeine doesn’t work for her. Nervous people are characteristically sensitive to caffeine. Caffeine has an effect on the autonomic nervous system. It seems that not only Japanese people but also asian people are strong to caffeine in coffee. However, white people are weaker. Decaffeinated coffee is sold in about 50 times more varieties than in Japan. These are similar to the feeling that white are more resistant to alcohol than Japanese. To be honest, I don’t usually feel the need for caffeine, but I often wish I had something to wake me up when I want to sleep.

pc;https://thekitchencommunity.org/coffee-drinks/

Spring break

leapingwaterLeave a comment

Spring break is coming to a close! Sadly… although we do have approximately 49 days til summer which is wild. I’ve spent this break with my friends and family which is always refreshing as time off from my usual school environment. Fortunately, my birthday always falls on spring break, and for these past two years I will have spent it with my friend who has the same exact birthday as me! We’ve made it a goal to do something fun and “challenging” ish for the birthdays we spend together. It was my birthday today, and tomorrow, Saturday, I will hang out with a few of my friends and watch a movie with them. I’m really excited to have a few of my favorite friends all together. Anyway, again, I cannot believe how fast this year is going and I’m honestly super excited for the summer, even though I’ll miss my friends so much.

pc:https://media.istockphoto.com/id/511728248/photo/spring-easter-background.jpg?s=612×612&w=0&k=20&c=XzdMjDSGJ6WaqRxAYBPVB-4F_rl6T779TYgcpjv6yA8=