Day: November 7, 2024

American God

scarlettoharaLeave a comment

You always walk with shameless grace

A miracle I hardly see

Since a liar sent me up to heaven

And made me say that god would make us free

We’re twin seeds planted in two soils

You say that giving love is easy

Well my head’s decades late and bursting

With rooted shame from someone else’s creeds

There always came a suited fraud

Who’d vivisect my faith for me

To save me with values I’d never believed

Carrying the hate from an American god

Must keep eastern integrity

I sewed on button eyes to hide

Just who I was when I would read

My love could grow safe from deliverance

In stories where our loves stayed sweet

I wish it’s only ghosts I channel

When I gather virtuosity

You say my art’ll surpass their crimes

Well I fell for yet another facade

The expectations smiled on me

And the dearest tales I’ve seen

Have somehow become foreign to me!

Reading those words from an American god

Was a perfect futility

(I wrote this relatively hastily, so don’t be surprised if I create a revised draft of this. My expectations were a bit more ambitious, so hopefully I can create a version that mimics more closely what I wanted to see.)

The Last Thing Seen on Earth

scarlettoharaLeave a comment

(Or “When you’re living in an apocalypse and you’re best friend won’t run away with you to the nearest star system.” Title and some parts TBA, but we’ll publish it a la Dickinson)

The last thing seen on earth

Is our wrought decay

”Do you hear what I say”

How we’re waiting ever for the day of a jammed up dream

No one ever lived how they liked

But don’t just try and catch me

And don’t you cry for those who chose this

When we’re searching ever for the place

Where loss would never be

So please be close to me

Together we’ll rise on that black smoke

And the restless bear will raise her downcast head

“Do you even know her?”

She’s fine now that she can graze her feet

If not for her shattered dreams

”And again, you never saw her?”

You know she couldn’t choose who she got

There’s one for each god up in the sky

Then will you have me rise alone

When no one will be left to count me by stars

The last thing seen on earth:

I swear, it’ll be violets down waving

Goodbye, as thise before us know

No one else would sort our ashes

So why not come with us

Please won’t you come with me

As you are the universe’s cure

When you’re here with me

school and soccer

shallahan#1moochLeave a comment

Okay so I think I was right about soccer, riding and school being too much. I have been feeling so run down lately and I literally have no time to do anything. I also just sprained my ankle at soccer so now I might not be able to ride or do soccer but I’m pretty sure I still have to go to practices and just sit there. Hopefully that will make it easier for me to catch up on school. It is so weird because for the first month of school I felt like I had no work to do and now it feels like it just doesn’t stop. But if I don’t practice then I won’t be playing in our games next week and seriously hate just sitting and watching my team lose and not being able to help. I also have  a feeling we’re going to get a lot of fouls because I don’t think most of the tema know how to do a throw-in or what offsides is. I’m praying we don’t get obliterated by nordoff. 

https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=c263faa809bdb49e&rlz=1C5MACD_enUS1073US1081&q=school+and+soccer&udm=2&fbs=AEQNm0Aa4sjWe7Rqy32pFwRj0UkWd8nbOJfsBGGB5IQQO6L3J5MIFhvnvU242yFxzEEp3BfRFWcyM5BvpTgNzM3vKj4sy0aJIoYZ7hY33mCLisdoLCdnmFMM-fLIkeN6RC5-gzIUzf8c6VbaZFwUs3Nv9IkadTfOp6hrD7m-GdP6vAG0DL6wQdj4jIcYJ4nN2ImODkfZcR5qhZ6OBylExG4uff06lU8swQ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwidkZnD1MiJAxX5AzQIHZz5M_4QtKgLegQIGhAB&biw=1554&bih=894&dpr=2.2

homework

shallahan#1moochLeave a comment

I honestly don’t mind homework that much. I usually don’t make much of a point to do it either. It usually all just falls into place,but sometimes it ends up not working out which has already happened this year. I seriously despise breakfast club. It is so awful. Like I get it if you have a bunch of missing stuff or if you’re just not turning stuff in but if you get it in by the end of the week I don’t think you should have to go. This happened to me at the beginning of the year and I literally just watched tv the whole time. It really sucked for my mom too because she had weekend duty as well so she had to drive me up there at like 8 then drive me back at 9, then turn around and go back up. I’m so happy she didn’t make me stay. People complain about OVS a lot but I actually do think the way the classes are scheduled is helpful. I usually don’t have any homework once I get home because I’m able to just get it all done during the day. It’s definitely better than lower but I liked the schedule better last year.

pc – https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2021/04/homeroom-how-much-homework-too-much/618580/

Basketball

fastasianLeave a comment

Basketball season started this Tuesday. The new coach has started the season with meetings and talks about his past coaching career and what we are going to be working on in the future to be a better team. Last year we gave up too many points because of defensive breakdowns and miscommunication. We gave up around 20-30 points in the first half last year. During the practices this week we have been working on conditioning and defensive game plans. We have been introduced to new gameplays such as 23-jump, 3-2 zone, and 2-3zone. They are all zone defense that we will be using in future games. The new coach seems to have more coaching experience and knows what he is doing. I hope this season we can go undefeated and get back to the CIF playoffs again. Since there is not that much time left too because as a junior in high school there are only 2 years left.

pc: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.britannica.com%2Fbiography%2FJames-Harden&psig=AOvVaw33cneZAFeCD8PdWwojTQ8n&ust=1730610809929000&source=images&cd=vfe&opi=89978449&ved=0CBQQjRxqFwoTCJDx8uvxvIkDFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE

Fear of procrasination

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

At the end of my sophomore year, I had to choose my classes for junior year and I had 2 options. I could take normal classes probably have more free time and be less stressed or I could challenge myself to do AP classes, have barely any free time and a lot of stress. Me being the great decision-maker I am I choose to sign up for 5 AP classes. During the summer while I was working on summer assignments I quickly realized 5 APs would simply be to much. Knowing I would have my license and more freedom I didn’t want to spend all my time doing school work, so I dropped one. It is now the end of the first quarter and I’m doing great my social life is thriving and so is my academic life. There is a lingering fear in the back of my head that I will fall behind and my grades will drop but this hasn’t happened yet. I’ve been consistent in all my classes and I really do hope this continues. I have learned to have a positive attitude, even if I feel everything but positive. Changing my outlook on school has made doing my homework and studying so much easier. Today is Halloween and the first day of school I’ve missed all year which is very impressive as last year I missed way to much school.

PC:”Inglewood High School – September” by U.S. Embassy New Zealand/ CC0 1.0

Pintrest

purcyLeave a comment

I think a girl’s Pinterest page is a direct representation of who she is as a person. I feel like Pintrest understands me more than anybody in the world. I know that sounds dumb because of the “Pintrest girl” stereotype, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the way that when you scroll through the pictures, you see something that represents every single part of you. I can stop at any point in my feed and on the screen there will be my dream nails, a heart-wrenching quote, an angel wing tattoo, outfit inspiration in my ideal style, and art. It is the most aesthetic and calming thing to scroll and just feel so understood. 

It must be so boring to be a boy. I just can’t imagine what they even do for fun. And like what do they spend their money on? I have so much makeup and little girly things that must have cost me so much money. I also love getting ready in the morning. Imagine waking up and just showering and getting dressed.

Pc: me