Author: ackley4167

Horseback Riding

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I have been riding horses since I was six years old. When I lived in Uruguay, we would go ride these wild horses in a place called the campo. That’s where I found my love for riding. As soon as we returned back I begged my mom to start lessons, and that’s where my journey began. I would go to summer camps, ride 4 to 5 times a week, and completely devote myself. When I was about 12 years old, I had taken a little break, but I knew how much I missed it. I had switched from English to Western, but I knew I liked riding English way more. When I started my new school in Ojai, I did the riding program and loved it so much. Moving on to my freshman year is where my passion started drifting away. I would dread having to go and ride. I didn’t understand it though, because I had always been so excited whenever I got to ride. To this day, I still don’t understand what unmotivated me so much. I ended up quitting riding a quarter into my freshman year, and I still miss it so much. Luckily, horseback riding is a skill that just ingrains into you as soon as you learn it. It’s like something you will never forget. Maybe you will forget the little things, like putting on a saddle or a bridle. But I will never forget my love for those horses and for the sport.

“Animals Horses” by Omar Prestwich/ CC0 1.0

Chemistry

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When the school year started, I felt like I would be able to do chemistry. With my high ego, I walked into the class for the first time thinking it would be a piece of cake. I ignored how all of my older friends said how this was the hardest class they had ever taken. They all had said that they finished the semester with below a B. What I don’t understand is why we are mixing science and math, the two hardest subjects, and my two weakest. On the most recent test, it was based solely on math. I did the first page before I broke down in tears. It was almost embarrassing, having a breakdown over a chemistry test. No matter how hard I tried to understand it and answer the questions, I just couldn’t. I was like I was staring at numbers floating all over my page, asking me which one is a kilometer. How does one even study chemistry? If I don’t understand it in the first place, how will I study it? Not being able to do the test discouraged me for the rest of the day. I started to doubt myself and my knowledge, in other classes too. Until I realized that everyone struggles in some way, regardless of what class or situation.

pc – google

I Am Music

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Music puts me in a flow state, revives my soul in times of distress, music embodies one’s self. Whenever I listen to music, it puts me in a trance. Especially if I find a song that I love so much and I listen to for 100 times on repeat. When I listen to a sad song, I’m sad, even if it’s for no reason. When I listen to happy music, I’m happy. It’s like music can control my feelings. I have no idea how music has the ability to give me literal goosebumps; it just does. I’ve never really understood the people that don’t constantly listen to music. In the shower, doing chores, lying down, there is always music. When I’m in an argument with a friend or family member, good music makes the situation better. It’s like the tension is released. The right music is like therapy, at least my therapy. It helps me tune everything out and go into my own world.

“Iphone Airpods” by Jess Watters/ CC0 1.0

Sophomore Slump

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As a freshman, I would always hear all my friends talking about the sophomore slump. And how it happens to everyone. I thought I would be immune to it and devote myself to all my classes. But this year has been tough, and school is barely a month in. It feels like I’m overloaded with homework, and whenever I get it all done, I somehow still have more. As stressful as it is, I’m attempting to push through. But it’s almost like the sophomore slump is creeping up on me. Every time I check my grades it feels like my heart drops to my stomach. It’s not that they’re bad, but they aren’t the best. It’s frustrating because I feel like I have been devoting myself to school and aiming towards good grades. Every night I dread waking up in the morning and having to go straight to class. My classes are a lot harder because I decided to take all of the hard classes last year. Not thinking about the consequences, I was excited to be in these classes and to try something new. But everyday it seems like I regret taking them more and more. As tough as it is, I’m going to try and commit myself and try to focus more on school.

“Free stressful business woman working“/ CC0 1.0

Nostalgia

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Nostalgia is by far one of the worst feelings ever, at least for me. I feel like I have nostalgia even when I’m living in the moment; it haunts me. Every time I go out or do something fun, I’m flooded with it. No matter if it’s a song, moment, or memory. I basically just unlock the vibe or the feeling I had during some time in the past. I don’t really know how to explain it. I can just feel how I felt in the moment when I think back on it. Just like smelling an old perfume or candle from a special time in your past. It makes you remember and miss everything so deeply.

I miss being little; it was such a special time in life. The nostalgia from when I was younger is the thing that truly haunts me the most, out of everything. I miss Christmas, or any holiday, and the feeling I had for them when I was younger. It’s so different now, and I’m changing so fast. I didn’t even realize that all those special times I had were gone. And I will never get to experience them again.

“Girl Sad” by Milada Vigerova/ CC0 1.0

Camping

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I’ve never really been a fan of camping, even when I was little. If I was told I was going camping with family or friends, I would dread it until the day came. When I was little I enjoyed shopping, and being in Los Angeles. I usually ate at good places, and I always went to see a movie at the Grove. I never grew up with the aspect of camping. I don’t think it’s the actual idea of camping; a big part of it is hiking. That makes me sound like I’m not an active person, but I am; it’s just hiking. The feeling of being drenched in sweat with no water left. To walking up a mountain steeper than my wall just to see a pretty view, is something I would never want to willingly do. I will never understand the people who wake up and choose to go on a hike in a hundred degree weather.

My school has required camping trips twice a year, and some aren’t so bad while others are really challenging. Backpacking in the Sespe mountains and waking up to having to hike was horrible. We had little food and we had to filter our own water from creeks we found on the way. It was one of the hardest, most traumatizing things I have ever done. It was the first day of the backpacking trip and we were told we were only hiking four miles. We ended up hiking 12. Although camping does make me more grateful for the little things. Like sleeping in my own bed, having running water, showering, good food, and civilization. But waking up in the morning at 5 am trying to hold back tears before going isn’t the best experience. If I wasn’t forced to camp, I would never do it again.

“20170824-crosswinds-camp-amrnps-1” by KatmaiNPS/ pdm 1.0