Author: candystealer76

Driver Education

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I didn’t know driver’s ed would be so hard. I imagined it would be a few paragraphs to read and then take a test about it. It’s much worse than that; there are so many subjects and so many paragraphs about them that you have to read, which are hard to memorize. I haven’t even started practicing actually driving on the road yet, which I know will be so nerve-racking. I get that once you get comfortable with driving, it eventually becomes easier and turns into muscle memory. Everyone I talk to about driving says it’s not a big deal once you get the hang of it, but I’m not sure I ever will. I really want to drive, and I can’t wait until I can start practicing, but I just know I’m not gonna be a great driver. Anytime I’m driving with someone else, I always try and figure out how they’re so comfortable with every button, turn, or exit. I know how I feel is also how most people feel, but honestly, I have no hope in myself.

“Driving Car” by Matheus Bertelli/ CC0 1.0

Californians in rain

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Usually, when it rains in California, everyone wears hoodies, jeans, leggings, or tennis shoes. Almost no one wears rain jackets, rain boots, or umbrellas because we’re so used to constant sun and dryness. In other states like Hawaii, Florida, and Louisiana, rainfall happens more often, so they know what to do; instead of Californians, who have no idea how to deal with rain. In other states that get more rain, people think it’s normal to just take a walk in the rain without noticing or being bothered. When people from California find out it’s raining, it turns to war, school gets canceled, everyone stays inside, and the heater is turned on. California only gets a couple of rainy days out of the year, so for the short time we spend suffering when we’re also remembering that the rain can be helpful in some cases. The rain can be nice when indoors because we can be warm and have free rain noise to fall asleep to.

“Raining Raindrops” by Pete Nowicki/ CC0 1.0

Life after high school

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I’m not sure what my plan is when I graduate from high school. The only thing I’m sure I’m doing is leaving Ojai. I don’t want to leave California, but I just want to go somewhere not too far. Santa Barbara or Los Angeles would be my top choices for choosing a college and a place to live. I could still visit Ojai, but I wouldn’t have to live here. I feel like I would have a lot more freedom if I left this town, and I would get to know more people. I know college for me isn’t soon, but it’s something that’s always on my mind. I can’t wait to be independent and on my own for most of my time. The thought of moving away from my family and friends here scares me a little, but it’s something almost everyone does, and I know I’ll get used to it at some point. My biggest fear is that I won’t end up liking the college that I’ve decided on and have to stick it out for however long I go for. Leaving a place that I’m so familiar with is a scary thought because it means I will have to familiarize myself with another area all over again. I can’t comprehend the fact that a big part of my future depends on what I choose to do in high school. I have to remind myself that I’m not the only one making a decision that decides my future, because everyone else is figuring out what they want to do just like me.

“stack old suitcases“/ CC0 1.0

Dreams

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Today I learned that dreams typically only last 45 seconds to 5 minutes. I started to wonder how many dreams we have in a full night of sleep. My dreams usually feel longer than they typically are, even though most of the time I can’t remember them. On some nights, I don’t dream at all, and I wonder if it’s because I just can’t recall them when I wake up, or my mind is just blank. Dreams can feel like they last forever because of our perception of time when we’re asleep. I have a theory that we dream of something before it actually happens, and that’s where we get the feeling of deja vu from. Things like social media and trauma can also affect how we dream because it’s not necessarily something we’re always thinking about when we’re awake, but when our brain is resting, it has more time to process what’s in the back of our minds. Nightmares are a different type of dream that triggers negative emotions and fear when we sleep. Usually, nightmares are easier to remember after waking up because of how bizarre they can be, and they can also affect sleep patterns due to the fear or fast heartbeat if you wake up from them.

“Dream catcher“/ CC0 1.0

Four Day Weekend

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This past weekend was a four-day weekend, meaning we had Friday and Monday off from school. I really needed this weekend, and I’m glad we had it. Since we have from the start of the school year up until thanksgiving break until we have any long breaks off, the weeks have been long. I always miss the weekend a little when school starts because it’s a nice break from using my brain. I have a feeling this week is gonna be hard to go back to because of our random 4 days off from school, even though it’s not that long, it’s still something. Every time school has some sort of time off, it’s frustrating to stay ahead in my classes because I don’t think about school or homework on breaks or weekends. This weekend gave me a chance to catch up with friends and not have to stress about my school situation, which brought me a better mood than usual. I felt more energized, and I got a lot done with the time I had free, and even though I did a lot this weekend, I still feel like I had enough time to relax as well. This weekend, I learned that I can’t let stress control my life, and I should be controlling it instead, and it made me realize not everything is a chore.

“Relaxed Man” by Bruce Mars/ CC0 1.0

Volleyball

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This year the volleyball team decided to do one big varsity team instead of varsity and junior varsity. I think it worked out okay because we all got closer to each other, and our team spirit was great. Every game, the players who weren’t playing would support by cheering loudly. Even though we didn’t win a game, I think we still tried our best and did the best we could. There were some downsides to having one big team. When we had away games, we couldn’t bring the whole team to travel with us, so we would have to leave some players behind. It set us off track a bit, but I think overall we worked well together. As the season went by, each one of us improved in one way or another, whether it was getting better at serving overhand, hitting, and even team spirit. A flaw we had this year was losing motivation when we had a bad play, but all it took was one motivational talk in our group huddle, and we were back at it. It was a fun season, and I think everyone tried their hardest to do well, even if we doubted ourselves.

“Volleyball blocking. September 2022“/ CC0 1.0

Studying

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I’ve learned this year that actually taking time to study has helped my grades a lot. Usually I’ll go over my notes and pray for the best, but I regret it the morning of the test when I don’t know most of the answers. Last night I scanned the internet trying to figure out the best way to study so that I can actually retain the information in my brain up until I take the test. One thing that I found very helpful which made me confident on taking my test was writing flash cards with key terms and definitions on the back. I think that tactic worked the best for me because I was writing down what I needed to know and also quickly studying it over and over again. When I took my test I was more confident in my answers than I usually am and if I was unsure about an answer it’s because I didn’t even think of going back and studying the topic. The worst thing I can do when I’m studying is study in a group, especially if its my friends because either I cant focus or I’ll procrastinate it until I’m alone. Procrastination is usually what sets me back to being my fullest potential school wise. I’ll put every piece of school work off to the side for later and end up having to stay up late trying to get it done. I think I’m doing myself a favor giving myself less stress when I leave it to do later but instead I’m setting myself up for failure. I wouldn’t mind staying up late to study, but the only reason it doesn’t work for me is because I cannot focus when I’m the slightest bit tired so I end up going to sleep and putting it off even longer. Hopefully I don’t fall off track this year because if I do it’s over for me.

“Student School” by Tamarcus Brown/ CC0 1.0

Waking up late

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This past week, I have been sleeping through all of my alarms that I set in the morning for school. I don’t think I’ve woken up on time a single morning the past two weeks. I set two alarms just in case I don’t wake up from the first one. I’m not even fully sleeping through them. I wake up, turn the alarm off, and go back to bed. It could have something to do with motivation, not wanting to get up and get ready. The problem could also be that I’m going to bed later than usual to get all my homework done and study for exams, because of all my studying, I’m going to bed around 1-2 am and waking up at 6-7 am. In the mornings, I have to rush to get ready, and it impacts my day with a chaotic start. Staying up late and studying positively impacts my day because I feel confident in schoolwork and tests. Hopefully, I can get my sleep schedule back on track after these past stressful weeks and try and balance sleep and school.

“Sleeping woman png sticker, transparent“/ CC0 1.0

Attention span

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I think that scrolling on my phone and watching short videos that I can scroll past, is slowly reducing my attention span in class. Its getting hard to pay attention for a full class. When i’m taking notes I can pay attention well because i’m writing, but when the whole lesson is the teacher talking, I get distracted easily and lose my track of thought. Its not only in class that this happens, its also whenever I should be focusing on something but my mind goes anywhere than what i’m doing. TikTok’s algorithm is endless scrolling that is supposed to keep you hooked and it can make you lose time perception. When my mind wonders, its not just TikTok’s fault because the world has many distractions, but its also made it a way where it requires no mental effort. Ive noticed when I try and read a book or do homework, I cant concentrate and I catch myself reaching for my phone. Going from watching entertaining videos to reading a book is obviously gonna alter your brain to make your mind unable to focus, but it would help to be mindful about using TikTok and not over-watching. I think finding a balance will help to stay connected without losing ourselves in an endless scroll.

“Free stressful business woman working“/ CC0 1.0

Overstimulating

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Today I experienced overstimulation so horrible that I couldn’t function properly. I could barely breathe out of my nose because of this September sickness. It was humid and rainy, so I felt hot and cold at the same time, which are the worst two weathers to have on a school day. The hood on my hoodie was in my way the whole day, that it was all I could focus on when doing school work. I also had a surprise quiz in my favorite class, Spanish, which I did not study for and probably failed because of my lack of focus. My Spanish class today was before lunch, so I had to walk up a large flight of stairs, which I could barely do because I can’t breathe. I also had a presentation for my AP class, and I had to read off of a slide that I did not make and did not understand a word from, which impacted my grade. Luckily, this very overstimulating week is almost over, and hopefully next week will be more tolerable.