Outcast

Outcast – a person who has been rejected by society or a social group.

This may be the common definition and concept of what an outcast is,  however,  I don’t agree with it. I believe that there are many different forms of an outcast. I believe in some cases an outcast can be considered a drifter.

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A drifter is someone who isn’t necessarily an outcast, separated or rejected by society but someone who is distant. Doing their own thing, while being associated with the “in” crowd but is always just on the outside. It’s like being in a group of people but always having a thin piece of glass separating the individual from the group of people.

 

I wonder how the people in the “in” crowd feel?

Do they too consider themselves as popular or with the “in” crowd, or do they think of themselves as drifters?

Breaking down the Dam

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Writers block is such an odd sensation. It’s like knowing what you want to write but you don’t know how to formulate it coherently.

It is literally an all-encompassing feeling of frustration and confusion.
The most frustrating part about writer’s block is that there is nothing that will make it go away except time and it can last for what feels like an eternity.

Writers block can strike at anytime, but it feels as if it is most common when there is a deadline that is fast approaching.

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Breaking through the writers’ block and having the words just flow out is one of the most satisfying feelings.

It is like a dam that has been holding back a vast amount of water, and that dam finally breaking down and all the water pouring out. Once that dam has been broken down you feel almost unstoppable, like the water that just continues to flow.

Time Limit

When you really stop and think about it there is a time limit on everything. Homework assignments, projects, childhood, innocence, love, and even life. Most people don’t stop and think about having a limit on things that seem so long-term until they are forced to.

My godfather Leon was diagnosed with squamous cell cancer back in 2010. When I first heard he was sick I was shocked and over come with a million different emotions. I never thought that someone so kind-hearted and eternally generous would be punished with such a terrible curse.

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I was in a state of denial when my parents told me he was sick. The first time I saw him after he had started treatment was heart breaking. He was so thin, so tired and so weak.

Eventually the cancer spread and he had to get surgery. The surgery that he had been on his thyroid.

All of the memories I had with him, Leon always had a beard. The first time I ever saw him without one was after his surgery. In place of his beard was a scar reaching from the left side of his throat to the right side. While that surgery scarred Leon on the outside, it seemed as if his personality and courage  weren’t scarred at all.

After undergoing numerous rounds of radiation and chemo and going to doctors appointments after doctors appointments we had to accept that there is no cure.

Most people would just give up after this, saying that they have nothing else to live for, but not Leon. Throughout this terrible experience he has been the so optimistic. I have never heard him complain about his time limit.

If I could sum my godfather, Leon Azis, up into one word it would be: inspiration. To see someone who is so close to your heart go through that and not give up hope and to be so strong is unbelievably inspiring and amazing.

All I can do now is cherish the time that I have left with him and not focus on the limited amount of time, and just appreciate the time I’ve been lucky enough to have with him.

Reunited at Last

There once was a little Korean girl living in an orphanage and an American soldier who was stationed in South Korea.

This soldier fell in love with this little girl and decided that she was meant to be a part of his family back home.

The little girl excited to start a new life didn’t understand that she would be leaving her home and her three older siblings for a new life.

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The little girl returned back to the United States with the solider, ready to meet her new family. She became the fifth member of this new family, leaving her past behind.

She wasn’t necessarily welcomed with open arms to her new family. Her new mother was unsure about the adoption and her new brother and sister also adopted, acted as if she was the only adopted one due to her ethnicity.

As she got older, her childhood memorize faded and she made new ones. Over the years she became incredibly close with her new father. When she was nine he passed away, leaving her alone with her mother and two siblings.

The girl, not so little anymore, grew up into an amazing young woman. She graduated college, danced professionally, got a good job, married and eventually had two daughters of her own.

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Years had passed since her second daughter had been born when she received a letter in the mail from Holt Adoption Agency. This letter was from the agency that was responsible for her adoption, saying that her Korean family was looking for her.

A month later she flew to Korea to meet her family.

It is now 2015 and her family is visiting her in America for the second time.

Applications? More like Agitation

Applications, applications, applications. For the past two years that word has been playing in my head like a broken record.

I don’t understand why the college process has to be so difficult. I understand that this is a serious decision that will impact my future immensely.

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Everyone keeps saying that this process should be fun and exciting but all I have felt is frustration, confusion, stress and anxiety. To say the least, I am ready for this process to be over. I am ready to already know where I will be for the next four years of my life. I am ready to know what I want to major in – what I want to do with my life.

Another aspect of the college experience that I find extremely frustrating and anxiety producing is the SAT and ACT tests. I hate that our whole academic career can be summed up into a number from one, five-hour test that we took on a random Saturday morning.

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What is the point of working so hard in school if that isn’t even going to count as much as a test score?

A Land of Lost Manners

I have been working at my local farmers market selling produce for the past 5 years. I work every Sunday from 9am to 1pm. During my 5 years I have questioned something that I still have yet to find an answer to. Why are people so rude?

Are manners something that were just not learned or taught and just forgotten? Or never taught at all? Clearly the lack of manners crosses all generations, not just the young and socially inept teens but also the old farts.

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Working as a vendor has given me insight on being behind the cash register. Now I’m not saying that there isn’t ever any nice people who come to the market because there are. I have met incredible and amazing people. However, in all of the Sundays I have ever worked, I have never gone a day without encountering at least one rude customer. Normally I just ignore it and get over it because it is just something that comes with the job. However, today I had a situation with a customer that really just annoyed me. It’s weird because this situation that happened is normal and isn’t even close to the worst thats happened.

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Today towards the end of the market this lady came up asking to buy some carrots, I told her the price and she asked for a plastic bag. I said the same thing which I say every sunday to more than half of customers that buy items that are not loose or weighable, ” I’m sorry but I can’t give you a bag for that. I can only give bags for weighable items or loose items because of the ” No Plastic Bag” ordinance.  Now most people usually are annoyed and roll their eyes but eventually get over it. However, this lady kept pestering me for a bag saying things like, ” Just give it to me, I wont tell anyone”. It wasn’t even that big of a deal, it was one bag. But it was the way she was talking and how she kept asking, even after I told her that it was a set law that I couldn’t give her one. Finally she gave up begging for a plastic bag, she threw her carrots on the table and told me, ” Fine, if your going to be like that I don’t want to buy your carrots.” I said okay and she walked away.

I just started laughing after. No matter how many times I see it I can’t help but think how funny and ridiculous it is the way people react over such pointless things.

Everytime it happens I just ask myself how people are okay with themselves when they are so rude to people that they don’t even know. I feel like I am working in a land of lost manners.

Long Hair Don’t Care

Over night the “Man Bun” trend has exploded. Everywhere I look there is always a man who is rocking the new trendy bun. Personally I don’t see the point behind a man bun, why put it up when you could just cut it off? Are they looking for versatility in their style and want the option of wearing it up or down, or are they just being sloppy and are too lazy to cut it off?

There are many mixed opinions on the man bun. When I asked my dad what his opinion was, his response consisted of, ” What the hell is a man bun?” However, when I asked my boyfriend how he felt, he said, ” I definitely want to rock one of those sometime in my life.”

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The new “Long Hair Don’t Care” trend has completely taken over. Men from all cultures and backgrounds are “wearing” the bun. It has become such a sensation that ABC News even did segment on the new style called ” Man Bun Hairstyle Trend is Taking over”. After watching the ABC News segment I learned that it was not just the hair style that made the “Man Bun” work, but the whole look, meaning facial hair and clothing. With all three of these key components, everyday hipsters will become the Hollywood trendsetters. Many famous Celebs like, Orlando Bloom, Brad Pitt, David Beckham and many more, have taken a liking to this new appearance. Many woman are also intrigued by this new look and prefer it to the basic short hair cut. I on the other hand, no matter how many times I see it or “learn” more about it, still consider it a fashion faux pas.

Long Hair Don’t Care

Over night the “Man Bun” trend has exploded. Everywhere I look there is always a man who is “rocking” the new trendy bun. Personally I don’t see the point behind a man bun, why put it up when you could just cut it off? Are they looking for versatility in their style and want the option of wearing it up or down, or are they just being sloppy and are too lazy to cut it off?

There are many mixed opinions on the man bun. When I asked my dad what his opinion was, his response consisted of, ” What the hell is a man bun?” However, when I asked my boyfriend how he felt, he said, ” I definitely want to rock one of those sometime in my life.”

The new “Long Hair Don’t Care” trend has completely taken over. Men from all cultures and backgrounds are “wearing” the bun. It has become such a sensation that ABC News even did segment on new style called “Man Bun Hairstyle Trend is Taking over”. Many celebrities are now rocking this new look. However after watching the ABC News segment I learned that it was not just the hair style that made the “Man Bun” work, but the whole look, meaning facial hair and clothing. With all three of these key components everyday hipsters will become the Hollywood trendsetters. Many famous Celebs like, Orlando Bloom, Brad Pitt, David Beckham and many more,  have taken a liking to this new appearance. Many woman are also intrigued by this new look and prefer it to the basic short hair cut. I on the other hand, no matter how many times I see it or “learn” more about it, still consider it a fashion faux pas.