Season of Love

My entry for the 2012 Ojai Valley School Love Poetry Contest:

Love has its seasons 

Ever shifting, ever reeling seasons

The fierce flames of summer,

Perish in bleak midwinter

The struggling buds of spring,

Wither and droop in autumn

 

Like summer, love is hot

Burning, consuming,

Outshining all other emotions

It warms and electrifies,

Turning laughter to joy

 

But like winter, it can turn bitter

Love is like snow

Beautiful, exquisite,

But brings frostbite to flesh

Freezing and failing,

When harsh winter winds blow

 

Even so, love is like spring

Despite bitter winter, it grows again and again,

Blossoming, fruitful,

It comes anew, fresh and inspired

Innocent in its soft whimsical hope

 

And like autumn, it wilts

Turning those vivid hot colors,

To dying gray and sallow brown

The limp, shriveled feelings,

Crumble and skitter away

 

My love for you, has seen all these seasons

It flamed bright in summer

It departed in snow

It waxed strong in spring

Wasted away in the fall

 

But through each of its seasons,

My affection grew wiser,

I know now I’ll never,

Forget or forsake you

 

Your curling dark hair,

And deep, laughing eyes

That easy-calm smile,

And your dusky bronze skin

 

Through spring and through winter

I only wish that you knew, 

Through the summer and fall

All seasons, I love you.


It’s THAT Month Again….

February is here, and Valentine’s Day is just around the corner.

The gushy, romantic day for women.

The irritating, stressful day for men.

What is Valentine’s Day?

Some call it  a day to express your true love and passion.

Others, more cynically, call it Singles’ Awareness Day.

I think I fall somewhere in the middle of those two extremes.

I’m so not into the lovey dovey shout-my-personal-life-to-the-world thing.  But I’m not sulking around thinking, Oh my Ross Turner…I’m gonna be alone forever.  Although, I do enjoy the candy part.

I think the Day of Hearts is good for showing your friends and family how much you appreciate them!  I suggest dividing up your time, not just spending it all with your inamorato/inamorata.

One major theme of all V-Days is the unrequited love thing.

Oh yes, you ALL know what I’m talking about.

I bet some of you have even written cheesy love poems.

This week, I had to do that for school.  I wrote some pretty bad poems.  And I mean horrible poems.

I’m  no love poet.

But got some inspiration late Wednesday night and wrote my least awful poem yet.

I entered it in our school’s love poetry contest.

Stay tuned, all you lovers, my poem’s coming your way.

Brave

Inspired by fellow blogger and close friend theycallmedame

If I were brave, I would not fear the sharks
I would not cringe at the thought of their teeth
Their jaws
Their tails
Those dark, dark eyes

If I were brave, I would not fear the water
I would not fear my greatest pleasure

If I were brave, I would embrace the waves
I would run into their cool, translucent arms

Feel their shivering droplets
Taste the salty spray
Without my heart bursting in my ears

If I were brave, I would not fear the night
I would not shrink from darkness
I would run beneath the stars

If I were brave, I would know that perfect stillness
Of the witching hour’s peace

If I were brave, I would laugh at empty moonlight
Not scramble toward the safe house

If I were brave, I would not fear you, my love
I would not shy from your touch
I would kiss you like that time before
The kiss beneath the lantern light
That kiss so laced with swirling fog

If I were brave, I could tell you
The way you make me feel
So alive, so hurting and exalted
So wishing to be with you

If I were brave, you’d love me too.

Nick Haverland, I Remember You

When I moved to Ventura, I met a guy named Nick.

I hadn’t seen him in close to five years when I heard he’d been killed by a drunk driver on May 11, 2011.

I was devastated.  Nick had been one of my first friends in this city.  While we had only spent short amounts of time together, he moved something in me with his uncommon kindness, his superior intellect, his patience and his love of animals.

Around Christmas, boat owners bedeck their vessels in lights and glide through the Ventura Keys and the Harbor in winter celebration.  I think I was 7 or maybe 8 when Nick came to my house to watch the Parade of Lights.  His mom and my mom knew each other somehow.  Nick and his brother, Griffin, strode out onto my deck.  Nick made a beeline for the ramp to the boat dock, running his hand down the white light-wrapped rail.

Ventura, CA

“Do you ever catch crabs?” he asked me.

“What?”

“You know… put meat on a string and try to catch crabs.  They come pretty easy if you let them nibble on the meat for a while then you can put them in a bucket and play with them.”

I was stunned and surprisingly happy this older guy was talking to me.  Shaking my head, I followed him onto the ramp.

Even though it was getting dark, he swung down from the ramp, landing lightly on the rocks several feet below.

“Come on,” he said, holding his hand out to me.

I took it, still happy and slightly confused.  He helped me down and knelt near the waterline, his eyes darting back and forth across the rocks, searching.Read More »

Sea Names/Blog Name

One of the first things you get at CIMI is a sea/sail name.

Usually bestowed by the Yachties, it is based off your appearance, personality, skills, or has no connection to you whatsoever.

TBYC (the Beach Yacht Club) is made of wood and the interior/exterior is covered in sharpie, paint and glitter, bearing the sea names of all the CIMIans past.

That's our mascot, Commodore Peanut. See the writing on the outside?

I think most people write their name (at least) twice. Also, a sea name might be modified or changed, constituting a re-inscription.

I got my name on the second day of Sea Camp, 2009.

I don’t play video games, and I’m not really familiar with the characters, not even the classic ones.

However, there is one name I know.

Kirby. The little pink blob.

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Starlight

“Far away
This ship is taking me far away
Far away from my memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

The starlight
I will be chasing your starlight
Until the end of my life
I don’t know if it’s worth it anymore

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold you in my arms

My life
You electrify my life
Let’s conspire to re-ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive

I’ll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away, never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes & revelations
And our hopes and expectations
Black holes & revelations…”

Starlight, by Muse

Starlight. Better than sunlight, moonlight, candlelight, or any other kind of light.

A scientist would tell you the stars are balls of hydrogen and helium gas burning millions of light years away.

An astrologer would tell you their position determines certain aspects about the world and that they have traditional meanings.

A romantic would tell you they are beauty incarnate.

A poet would call them inspiration.

What are they to me?

They are everything beautiful, ethereal, untouchable and divine.

The stars represent dreams, aspirations and hopes that are unachievable, but always there.

Ever fancied someone you shouldn’t?

It hurts doesn’t it?

But it’s kind of a good hurt.

When I look at the stars, I feel that good hurt. It’s like watching someone you shouldn’t love. They are so exquisite, so alluring and magical.

Everlasting, always just above my head, but I can never touch them.

They twinkle because of the constant shifting of the atmosphere.

Their light takes billions of years to reach Earth. Many stars may have supernova-ed and gone millions, even billions, of years ago. But their light will remain until time catches up with their destruction. And by then, maybe a new star has formed.

They make me feel lonely and surrounded at the same time.

So insignificant, but so honored to be able to see them.

I like to think their twinkling reflects humanity, always changing, moving.

We have existed less than an instant in the scope of space and time, a meaningless fraction in the endless span of the universe.

In that blink of time, we have charged ahead, shedding our light and exploring the stars. We question everything, longing to know the secrets and mysteries, the enigma and irresistible pull that surrounds creation.

They make me want to know impossible beauty.

Sometimes when I look up at them I feel something like a physical pull, something yanking me upwards towards the night sky.

Stars…

Annabel Lee II

I was a child and she was a child,

In this kingdom by the sea,

But we loved with a love that was more than love—

I and my Annabel Lee—

With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven

Coveted her and me.

I open my eyes.

The words fade slowly, dissipating like fog before a cold night wind.

Numbness has set into my bones, preventing me from feeling anything.  I can no longer sense the freezing spray on my skin, the bitter gale’s bite across my face.  The sky has darkened, turning the clouds from ash to slate and the last lines of green have bled from the water, leaving it colorless and violent.

Looking up to a higher hill, I see my destination.  Although I feel nothing, I wrap my coat more tightly around me and tilt my head forward, burying my face in the musty wool of my scarf.

I have spent the last months grieving, so naturally I have not been out for much exercise other than to visit her.  The effort it takes to climb the hill makes my legs burn and my chest tighten.  Only when the pain comes can I feel the cold air press against my throat and restrict my breathing.  Puffs of white rush forth from my lips and swirl away quickly.

Panting I stop beside the sepulchre.  I gaze sightlessly at the words, tracing the ridges of the engraving with stiff fingers.  Naturally I know it by heart.

Annabel Lee Ashford-Dalton

1809-1830

Devoted Daughter

Generous Sister

Loving Wife

I let my fingers drift over the words Annabel Lee, Dalton and loving wife but avoid from touching the others entirely.  My name belies my wealth and status.  Her family has always hated me passionately.  Their aristocratic legacy is far superior to my nondescript background.  The highborn daughter of a noble could not possibly fraternize with the impoverished son of a widow.  And yet my Annabel had loved me.  When I could not give her jewels or silks, carriages or marble fountains, she loved me.

I wager they are more than happy to be rid of me now.

I stare down at the unfeeling black marble.  It is cold, rigid and sharp; things Annabel had never been in life.  Droplets of water cling to it, making the stone appear as if it weeps. The tears remind me so much of our drip castle and I press my fingers to my eyes and sigh.

Memories rush around me.

After building our castle, it was several weeks before I saw Annabel again.  But following our second encounter, we scarcely went a day without seeing each other.  I learned that she was staying with a nanny and her eldest sister in the Ashfords’ summer home.  Her mother was ailing and the rest of her family had sent her away to protect her from sickness.  Apparently she took ill very easily and had an extremely difficult time recovering.

I took to calling her Annalie, just a simple contraction of Annabel Lee.   Her nanny, whose name was Matilda, abhorred the nickname.  Every time she heard me say it, she cringed and gave me a disdainful look.  Matilda would pronounce each syllable, saying, “Ann uh Lee…” then scowl at Annabel and say, “Really miss Ashford, that is far too crude a name for a lady of your station.  I must insist you bid him to refrain from calling you that.”

Of course she never did.  Annabel loved my little name for her.  She said it was friendly and sweeter than Annabel Lee, as every family member used that formal address when speaking to her.

Even though Matilda openly disliked me, not once did she forbid Annabel from seeing me. Her sister, Eleonora, seldom took notice of her youngest sibling and paid no mind to our interactions.

Years went by and our friendship grew, my affections for her waxing all the while.  When I was ten and four, Annabel invited me over to her family’s estate for the first time.  I remember the hot feeling of excitement and the chill of nervousness when I accepted her invitation.

As I said before, I had no love of God, but thankfully I still owned Sunday clothes.  They were a bit small and slightly wrinkled, but presentable and clean nonetheless.

I caught my mother smiling softly to herself as she polished the buttons on my coat and ironed my trousers.  She took great care in fixing up my clothes.

I washed my hair and she combed the curls through, neatly pushing them back against my forehead.  She put her hands on my shoulders and whispered in my ear, “You’re such a handsome boy… You look so like you father… You have his eyes, and his smile.”

Indeed all who knew Caspian Dalton told me I looked exactly like him.  I only inherited one trait from my mother and that was her incredibly tall and slender frame.

Rosaline Dalton was a beautiful woman.  Creamy white skin set fire to her bright red hair.  Corkscrew curls, the color of glossy cherry wood, cascaded down her back in sprightly ringlets.  The faintest spray of freckles dotted the bridge of her nose and under her eyes.

My mother had the loveliest eyes.  They were an unusual color, somewhere between warm cinnamon and melting chocolate.  There were even hints of gold in them.  Sparkling and soft, they always made me feel protective of her.

But since my father’s death, there hung a kind of quiet sadness in their depths.  It did not dampen their light, but it somehow changed it.  Before, they had glittered like orbs of polished amber.  After he died, they were shinier but less glittery; she looked hurt, lost.

My father had loved her more than anything.  Perhaps those jealous angels took him too…

Annabel hurried me though the house.  In fact, we moved so quickly I cannot even recall the color of the carpet or the size of the foyer.  She took me into the garden, only then did she slow and relax.

The garden was enclosed by glass, protecting the inhabitants from weather.  Some plants were thin and tall, others were short and thick.  I was ashamed that I did not know the name of even one specimen.

Annabel gently touched my hand and led me to the center of the garden, to the flowerbeds.  A stone fountain bubbled happily, spurting clear water from a fish’s mouth down into the shallow basin below.  I sighed, relieved.  I did in fact know the names of the beautiful blossoms.

I spied a red rose, velvety and trembling on its long, thorny stem.

Next to it, a tulip rested sleepily, its waxy pink petals looking heavy and healthy.

Six white daisies with soft yellow centers surrounded a vibrant sunflower.

But one flower stood out from the others.  A single star lily grew near the fountain.  Fragile and feminine, it smelled fresh and delicate.  The petals were mostly deep pink, but the outermost edges were white.  A pale green throat barred balls of gold pollen, mounted on slender stalks.

“That one is my favorite,” Annabel whispered.

I turned to look at her.

She was beautiful, standing there in her gossamer mauve dress.  Her hair was longer than when we first met, almost reaching her waist. Deep sea green eyes searched my face, gleaming and her skin looked softer and more radiant than ever.  But one thing held my gaze, mesmerized, enchanted; I could feel my heart hammering in my throat and blood throbbing behind my eyes.

Her lips looked so lush and satiny, untouched, flawless.  I could smell the sweetness of her skin, vanilla and rose water.  My mind wandered for a moment.  I thought it strange she smelled of roses when she loved lilies so much.

She shifted, and the motion brought my focus back.

“Annalie…” I said, not taking my eyes from her lips.

“What is it?” she asked, frozen.

“Have you ever…” I could not bring myself to finish the question.

“No,” she breathed.  Then added almost inaudibly, “But I’d like to.”

I hesitated, taking in the exquisite green of her eyes and the perfection of her face.  I had never touched her hair, though I had always wanted to.  The silky strands seemed to melt as I slid my fingers though them; her hair was even softer than I had ever imagined.

Closing my eyes, I leaned forward and inhaled her scent one last time before my mouth met hers.

I felt hot and dizzy the moment our lips made touched.  Color and shadow spiraled around in my head, taking me to the edge of consciousness and threatening to push me into the abyss.  She surrendered her weight to me and I held her, the unbearable sweetness overwhelming me, permeating my every sense.

She tasted of sugar and honeysuckle with just a hint of exotic spice.  The warmth of her skin set my own on fire.  So there I stood, ablaze, holding a fay in my arms.

STAY TUNED FOR NEXT STORY!

Annabel Lee I

This post is going to be part of a series based on the love story of Edgar Allan Poe‘s poem “Annabel Lee.”

It was many and many a year ago,

In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

By the name of Annabel Lee;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me.

Than to love and be loved by me…

The words roll around in my mind, marbles on a marble floor.

I stand alone on a grassy hill, watching the gray clouds reflected in greenish water.  A storm is coming.  The ocean churns and froths beneath my empty stare, bubbling up like pus from a great wound.  But all I can think about is my heart, lying in the tomb.  Cold, lonely, lost.

My Annabel is gone.

Sweet Annabel Lee, my first, my only love.

I had never loved God or His angels.  Even as a boy I was ever skeptical of the mercy and kindness others painted Him with.  But I have never hated those divinities more than I do at this very moment.

Those jealous seraphs killed my beloved, and God Almighty allowed it to happen.  I feel myself shaking with rage and grief.

Closing my eyes, I think back to the day I met Annabel.

I had been playing at the beach, frolicking gaily at the shore just beyond the reach of the waves.  The sky was vivid lapis lazuli, the breeze, light and sweet.  I do not remember the water being particularly warm, but it was clean and clear, refreshing.  The dry sand sparkled white and the wet sand was soft gold, silky and fine.  Gulls cried, their voices carried across the beach by the breeze, breaking sharply in my ear.  Waves rolled, the low, melodious hiss of the surf soothed the birds’ shrill shrieks.

I was perhaps one and ten years.  By my mother’s accounts, I was a handsome boy.  She loved to run her fingers though my wavy blond hair and tousle it gently.  My skin was barely three shades lighter than honey, but still fair and unmarked.  However, what people first noticed were my eyes.  Large and uncannily bright, they were the deep blue of a summer ocean.

I had just scooped up a handful of sand when a shadow fell over my head.  Annoyed that this new obstacle was blocking the sun’s warmth, I looked up.

Probably appearing rather ridiculous, I shielded my eyes with one sandy arm and squinted, opening my mouth and cocking my head to the left.  What I saw slackened my jaw and made my arm drop like a stone.

A girl about my age stood in front of me.  The waves tugged at her long, pale pink dress, twisting it around her ankles, bits of white foam caught in the hem.  Long dark hair, locks of chestnut laced with amber, danced around a heart-shaped face.  Her magnolia white skin held the faintest flush across her cheekbones.  Lips, the dewy fresh color of roses, slightly parted, revealed pearly white teeth.  Luminescent eyes started down at me.  The incredible green of gemstones, they reminded me of my mother’s emeralds or the exotic lumps of jade she kept locked in a special velvet box.  Dark, curling lashes ringed the eyes and cast shadows down on her face like the silhouette of delicate black lace.

She knelt before me and sat with a grace I hadn’t thought a girl her age capable of.

“May I join you?” She asked, her voice soft and clear as a crystal bell.

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Raven Gold, Sapphire Green

Golden and sapphire

The other,

Raven and green

It was never a choice

A simple mistake

So short and so sweet

The memory is mine

Everlasting

But as fate would have us

The cards frowned upon it

A second chance

Was it real?

Or perhaps an illusion

The sensation may fade

The dreams

They do not

Talking in silence

Waves on the shore

Seeing chance wither and die

Stinging skin

Salty, cold

Starlight beams down

Another comes, I listen

Wondering what you think now

Sand flies

Words pull me

Tugging me closer to shore

So far from me now

Words flow and I nod

Hearing, not hearing

Gold flashes brightly

But green, it shines brighter

Defeated am I?

Victorious?

Not

The season is over

Long, long overdue

But the feeling remains

And I ask, have you too?

Damian McGinty

Look out New Directions, there’s a show stealer star in your midst.

Rory Flanagan, portrayed by Damian McGinty, is an Irish foreign exchange student attending William McKinley High School.

McGinty was born in Derry, Northern Ireland on September 9, 1992 and is a former member of the band Celtic Thunder.

Some 40,000 singers entered the Glee Project for a shot at stardom and McGinty was one of 12 finalists who participated in the summer filler between Glee seasons.  For his final performance he sang “Somewhere Beyond the Sea.”

With his Frank Sinatra-esque voice and captivating stage presence, he co-won the Glee Project and earned himself a 7-episode arc (later extended because of his popularity) on Glee.

I’m not here to talk about how amazing Glee is, how hilarious the plots are blah blah blah.  In this third season, I don’t really think much is going on.  But I will tell you exactly what I think of this new Irish addition.

With clear blue eyes, smooth skin and lots of dark brown hair, he certainly stands out.  McGinty looks quite young for 19, but personally, I think he’s just about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

And that accent is killer.

In his debut episode, Pot O’ Gold, he sings Kermit the Frog’s “Bein’ Green.”  I was (very) pleasantly surprised by his silky baritone.

In the latest episode he sang “Blue Christmas,” a tribute to the King.

But I think his best performance so far was at the very end of Pot O’ Gold.  It says a lot about him that they gave a brand new character two solos in one episode.  He dedicated the song “Take Care of Yourself” to his family back in Ireland.

Wow.  That second half where he hits his falsetto is absolutely incredible.  But his voice is just sexy in general, really fabulous.

Back when he was still with Celtic Thunder, he sang a spectacular section of “Amazing Grace.”  I think he did the best job out of all of them.  To view his part, go to 2:10.

STILL think he’s the best.  WHAT.  A.  VOICE!!!

Needless to say I love his voice and stage/screen persona.  If the writers/producers/directors of Glee are smart, they’ll hang on to this Irish supernova of adorable talent with both hands and not let him go till he refuses to stay.

I love you Damian McGinty!