I found this a while ago, while looking through notes on my phone:
To many people, Christmas is a day to wake up early and run to all of the presents that await you. Many of my friend’s stories on Snapchat were pictures of things they got, like a Hydro Flask, new phone, drum set, AirPods, and more, with the caption “Merry Christmas.”
Unlike many of my friends, for me, today was not a day focused on gifts. I spent the day with my grandparents and parents. We did not exchange physical gifts, our gift was being together as a family.
Instead of being sad or mad that my family doesn’t celebrate Christmas, I took a different approach. Today reminded me of all I have and all I can do to give back. Christmas is about giving, so I did, but a little different that most people did today.
This evening, I spent over two hours signing petitions, calling senators, and sending letters to change the injustice happening today.
This evening, I sent, signed, and made over 105 petitions, letters, and calls.
No, today I did not wake up to an abundance of presents. No, today I did not celebrate Christmas like most people do.
But today, I used my power to make a difference, in my opinion, and learned my ability to express my beliefs is better than anything that could be under the Christmas tree.
She’s strong, she’s talented, she’s smart. My friend is headed towards great things.
Soon we’ll be in college, I know I won’t be going to the same school as her anymore, but I know I’ll never forget her.
You know someone is extraordinary when they have so many amazing goals that they don’t know what to pursue.
Sometimes I think, what will she be doing in four years?
Will she be a influential member in race and resistance studies, standing up to oppression and persecution?
Will she be a rising scholar in gender and feminism studies, striving to create a more equal world?
Will she be a social justice worker?
Will she be a photo journalist, not only using her power with words to inspire, but her talent with captured memories, also?
Will she be filmmaker and editor, creating barrier-breaking and revolutionary films?
Will she be a gender sexuality savant, fighting for the LGBTQ+ community?
Will she be a sociologist, endeavoring to generate social polyphony?
Will she be a lawyer fighting for human rights?
I don’t think she’s just going to chose one of these. I think she’s going to do all of them, because if she sets her mind to something, there’s no stopping her.
I know sometimes you get nervous. You wonder how you’ll accomplish everything you hope to. You occasionally struggle to understand your identity, what path to take. You get down some times. You make wrong decisions and question your worth.
I know you are strong, but I know we all have our doubts and struggles. But never forget, I’m here for you. I’m rooting for you. I love you.
You are an inspiration, an amazing friend, and you are going to make such a big difference in the world.
Never forget your goals, for I know, you can and you will achieve them all.
I’ve been embarrassed of my height for a while. I wear platformed shoes, I sit up as straight as I can, and I do exercises that supposedly help me grow. But, no matter what I try, I’m not going to get any taller.
I’m short and I don’t like it, but I can’t do anything about it, so why not own it?
Photo Credit: whiskeyriff.com
I’m short, I have a lower risk of cancer.
I’m short, I can wear children’s sizes and save a bunch of money.
I’m short, I can wear heels without towering over my date.
I’m short, I don’t have to worry about hitting my head on doors.
I’m short, blankets will cover my body and my feet, so no cold toes for me.
I’m short, I can fit in small places.
I’m short, I can fit in my dog’s bed and cuddle with her.
I’m short, I can beat just about anyone in a limbo competition.
I’m short, I have a higher life expectancy than taller people.
I could go on and on about the pros of being vertically “challenged,”
It’s a bad feeling. No, it’s an awful feeling. Yet I find myself facing it time and again. I’m currently sitting in the car feeling almost as shitty as how I performed today in practice. I could have gone harder… I should have gone harder. How can I strive to be the best if I’m not even giving my all?
The breakdown: the set was hard, I knew it would be a challenge, so I gave up. Looking back, the emotional pain now is far worse than the physical pain I would have experienced if I just kept trying. For me, muscle fatigue, not being able to breathe, the lactic acid burning in my throat, and the pain of pushing yourself to the limit is nothing compared to the pain I go through knowing I could have done better, knowing that I’m the one holding me back. Because I didn’t want to suffer through eighty laps on a challenging interval, I am currently suffering through the disappointment and regret of knowing I am hindering my growth.
Photo Credit: pinterest.com
You know that feeling when the teacher pulls out a test on the reading you were assigned last night but you didn’t do it, just because you didn’t want to. Not a great feeling. This got me wondering, if we know the effect of our actions, how come we still proceed in doing the easiest thing in the moment. Why not put in the ten minuets to read a chapter and feel confident when the teacher pulls out the test? Why not give your all in a work out, suffer through the pain and embrace it, to experience the rush of endorphins after and the confidence knowing you did your best?
After reflecting on my errors and embracing the sucky emotions I am feeling right now, I have a goal. Every time I feel like skipping a fifty, reading spark notes instead of the book, going easy instead of all out, not doing what I should just because I don’t want to, I am going to think. Think of how I will feel in the future, and ask: Is the emotional conflict that will take place in the future worth just doing whats right?
Loralee was born on April 28, 1970. Loralee died on June 3rd 1970.
My mom never met her sister; I never met my aunt. She spent her thirty-six days in a hospital. Loralee wasn’t born lucky.
Due to her cleft pallet, she was unable to swallow. The hospital put a tube down her throat to feed her. Instead of going into her esophagus, the tube was misplaced and put into her lungs. After a month and three days, her lungs were filled from the tube’s givings and she died from suffocation.
Loralee Myra French never came home. My mom never got to see her sister. My mother was less than two years old. I wonder what my grandmother told her. How could you explain that to an innocent child?
My mom learned the full story when she was older.
I learned the full story a week ago.
Recently, my great aunt died. I wasn’t close to her. She was an awful person. She put her son through absolute shit, abused my grandmother, and put my mom’s side of the family through living hell.
Even though she was a cruel human being, it hit me hard when she died. As bad as it sounds, it wasn’t hard for me because I cared about her a lot, it was harder for another reason.
As I’m getting older, death is so much more real. I understand it and am effected by it more and it takes place more in my life. There are so many people who are going to die in my lifetime: my parents, my grandparents, my kindergarten teacher, the owners of my favorite place in the world… There are so many people who have died in my lifetime: my grandfather, my aunt, my favorite artist, my dad’s best friend.
I’m still young, but I’m old enough to understand how abruptly life can end.
I was doing driver’s ed a couple days ago. I read a story about a man who got in a car crash and killed his best friend.
One mistake, one wrong turn, one bad decision, and your life could be done.
We all know we will die one day. It’s not “if;” it’s a “when?”
When am I going to die? When are you going to die? It’s inevitable, unescapable, and, in my opinion, scary. So scary.
On the news, I read about a girl who traveled in Costa Rica, met a man at an Airbnb, and went missing. Later, she was found dead.
One misgiving of trust, one ignorant move, one second of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and you could be found lifeless too.
And, then, there’s so many undeserving people who die cruel, miserable deaths. Cancer, suffering, abuse, rape. So many innocent people whose lives get taken away. Just like the young rape victim who was found dead in a suitcase behind a dumpster, just like orphan who starved to death, just like the 13,000 people who died in shootings this year, just like the young baby who only got to spend thirty six days on this earth; my aunt Loralee Mya French.
I knew you before, but we had never talked. I knew of you.
It was just recently that I met you. When you looked at me, I blushed. I felt something I couldn’t describe.
You had my number from a while back and you texted me that night… You told me how we had this connection that was rare and beautiful.
You said that you wanted to get to know me better. I said I wanted to too.
I had heard bad things about you, but I didn’t believe it. And in the end, it wasn’t you who was at fault, it was me.
You made me feel special, loved, happy.
We talked for hours. I told you my insecurities, you told me your secrets too.
But, apparently, I scared you off.
I remember saying “I’m scared that if you get to know me, you won’t like me anymore.”
You promised that would never happen, that I could never scare you away.
Well, you lied. In less than a day, you got distant. I got scared; I reached out.
You went from saying things that made me feel adored, to saying nothing at all.
I couldn’t stand it, I knew I should have let you be, but I couldn’t.
“Do you still like me?” I asked.
“Yes, but your feelings are kind of suffocating right now,” he replied.
“I’m sorry, I’ll leave you alone.”
“Thank you,” you said.
Suffocating…
You had told me you wanted something that would last, you told me to be clingy, you told me you wanted to be with me for a long time,
Yet in two days of talking, you call me suffocating.
How can you say you still like me but you want me to leave you alone?
How can you have said that I was the perfect girl for you, then turn me away the next day?
I’m suffocating…
It’s hard to breathe the absence of love. It’s not that I loved you, I guess I just loved the thought of you. I thought you were perfect.
“Love’s like oxygen. You get too much you get to high, not enough and you’re going to die.”
You built me up, maybe it was part of your manipulating trick. You built me up so much, made me feel so special, then stripped it all away.
We’ve only known each other for three days, it’s almost impressive how you manage to hurt me this bad.
I can’t breathe, I feel empty.
Like a void, a wound, a puncture in my chest.
I’m gasping for air, yet I’m still suffocating.
Photo Credit: pinterest.com
They warned me about you, told me how your kindness was just a way of manipulating me into getting what you wanted.
But the sad part is, I went a long with it, I feel so hard for you that I would have given you what you wanted.
I’ve cried, I’ve stayed in bed for almost a day… all of this for you. My spirit builds up so high when I get a notification on my phone. Maybe it’s you. It never is.
You broke me.
And yet you say you’re the one suffocating.
But at the root of it all, it’s not you at fault.
You gave me a chance; I blew it.
I came on too strong maybe? I tried to talk to you too much maybe?
I’m sorry I made you feel suffocated.
If only I could have been better. If only I could be better.
“I don’t want prayers. I don’t want thoughts, I want gun control. And I hope to God nobody sends me anymore prayers. I want gun control. No more guns” Susan Orfanos pleaded.
A year before the shooting in Thousand Oaks, her son, Telemachus Orfanos, was at the shooting in Las Vegas. Telemachus survived the deadly attack and saved others as well.
Brendan Hoolihan, another Las Vegas Survivor stated “he easily saved hundreds of lives.”
The twenty-seven-year-old military veteran was shot and killed November 7th, 2018 at the Borderline Bar & Grill in Thousand Oaks.
Just twelve days later, four were killed in a hospital shooting in Chicago.
There have been 62 mass shootings so far in President Trump’s term.
Trump has tweeted about getting free tickets, how the White House is decorating for Christmas, how people from Pakistan are fools, how he has “never seen thin people drinking Diet Coke,” how Robert Pattison can do much better than going back to Kristen Stewart, and countless other pointless things.
Trump has tweeted seven tweets about how Pattison should move on from his Twilight costar, yet of these 62 shootings, he has only tweeted about three. Dear Trump, just because you think Robert Pattison going back to Kristen Stewart is far more important than the gun control crisis taking place in America, the remaining sane people in our country disagree.
Trump’s tweets on the shootings include:
“My thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families”
“School shooting in Texas. Early reports not looking good. God bless all!”
“My prayers and condolences to the families of the victims of the terrible Florida shooting.”
Dear Trump, dear America, thank you for thoughts and prayers, but thoughts and prayers are no where close to what we need. We need change. We need gun control.
“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” — Gandhi
“He who fears he will suffer, already suffers because he fears.” — Michel De Montaigne
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” — Albert Einstein
“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” — Confucius
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” — Mary Engelbreit
“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” — George Bernhard Shaw
“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.” — Viktor Frankl
“If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap. If you want happiness for a day — go fishing. If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a life time — help someone else.” — Chinese proverb
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” — Helen Keller
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” — Stephen Covey
“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” — Sigmund Freud”
“Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” — Joshua J. Marine”
“Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.” — Henry van Dyke
“I would rather die a meaningful death than to live a meaningless life.” — Corazon Aquino”
OVS Journalism Blog 
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