Think about this: A man is sitting at a football game with a portable TV set tuned to the game. The TV station showing the game picks up his image and the image is sent from the cameras, to the satellite, to a TV transmitter miles away where the image is sent back through the airwaves and back onto the man’s TV set. The man sees himself and the image is picked up from the pupils of the eyes and is sent to the brain. The brain will then send signals to the man’s arms to start waving. The image is sent from the TV set back through the airwaves, to a satellite, to a transmitter where it is sent to a TV set thousands of miles away where the man’s family is watching the game. The man’s mother sees the image on TV and the image is picked up by her pupils in her eyes and is sent to the brain where the hippocampus is stimulated and memory takes place. Then the brain sends signals to the woman’s teeth, tongue, lips, mouth, and voice box to where she can now say, “Look, it’s Mike!”
Author: shredicusmaximus
Sports, Movies, and Pop Culture
this is the name of the game. I'll be talking about said subjects from the point of view of an observer with a consciousness. Enjoy
Philadelphia Eagles Fans
You can see them, you can even smell them. The stench of hoagies and cheesesteaks can only mean that a sea of green that screams real friggin loud is coming your way. They are so confident with themselves that they show you how good they are at spelling by doing it constantly and they boo’d the best quarterback in franchise history because he lost Superbowl 39 to the equally unlikeable Pats.
They have a guy in a green body cast at every home game. They once pelted a man dressed as Santa with snowballs during a game in the 80’s and not one person in the crowd dislikes Rocky movies, foul language, or having Michael Vick pet sit. We call this group of degenerates Eagles fans.
Sure I have the fact that I’m a New Yorker and that all of my teams have a rivalry to one extent or another with this town to support my claim but that’s not the main reason why. They’re like flies and mosquitos who drain a players life source and energy to the point where playing for Philly is a nightmare. They are self hating and at the same time self promoting.
You know someones an Eagle fan through one trait, they always spell the word “Eagles.” E-A-G-L-E-S, for goodness sake it’s like a spelling bee for what the 21st century calls “special people.”
What nobody told you about OVS Football
Lancaster, California.
As we lined up on the defensive side of the ball to block a field goal, it was the 3rd quarter. The official time stood at 1:44 left to play. We got down in our positions, center hiked the ball, but there was one problem, the game was over. The referees claimed that the 45 point rule was in effect. After shaking the hands of our victors, we walked to the classroom turned dressing room they had given us. On my way, their cheerleaders each gave us a bottle of Gatorade, as if to offer some form of condolence. I got to the classroom first, looked at my drink and threw it to the ground. My words, symbolic of the season, still resignate in my mind, “I went 0-7 and all I get is a damn Gatorade.”
The play that killed us was a 20 yard touch down run turned out to be the last down of football I would ever play, thus ending an eventful High School career. It was their senior day. Before the game, Coach Rob Davis looked at me and told me it was mine. I proceeded to make 26 tackles, force a fumble, catch a pass, and recover a fumble for a touchdown. I gave my all and left it all on the field for my last high school football game.
ROCKY 4
Here’s a special review of one of my favorite films of all time, Rocky 4. Now, the movie opens with Rocky defeating Clubber Lang, and Rocky and Apollo’s famous scene in the ring. Rocky is a famous, wealthy boxing legend who has a new friendship with his former rival Apollo Creed. This film starts out with a charming scene with Paulie’s birthday celebration. He get’s a robot who is apparently fully functional and even brings him a cake. It can talk as well. Now that was 1985, it’s 2010. Do you know anyone today who owns a robot?
Party like it’s 1997
For Edgar Renteria, life up until this past postseason was one of nostalgia, and uncertainty. A player for 5 different teams up until he was a San Francisco Giant, the Colombian shortstop was contemplating retirement after this season.
Renteria has had quite the World Series history. Up until Brain Wilson struck out Nelson Cruz to bring the first championship since 1954 back to the organization, it had been exactly 4,755 days since a 22 year old Renteria poked a line drive just over the glove of Cleveland reliever Charles Nagy to win the 1997 world series.
Renteria was a known castoff since his last World Series exploit in 2004, when he grounded out to Keith Foulke to end the RedSox’s 86 year World Series “curse” as the massholes call it.
TechNO
Ladies and gentlemen, the past few days have been pretty frustrating. Thanks to Ojai Valley School‘s extremely poor Internet service, I have been unable to write anything on this blog for quite a while.
Either way, I’m back. Now, even though the past few games of the world series have been pretty interesting to say the least, I will not be writing about sports tonight. Rather, this blog will be more on the venting side. I need to blow off steam.
Music has always been a thing that I have enjoyed throughout the years, no question, yet every couple of months, I find myself swigging cokes on a sofa during a school dance and saying one thing, “Jesus, this really sucks doesn’t it?” That last statement was censored by the way.
World Series Review, Game 1
With 2010 being dubbed “The Year of the Pitcher,” it seemed fitting that two Cy Young award winners would match up in Game 1. With the world series contenders ironically knocking off the contenders of LAST YEAR’S World Series, this one will surely lack the buzz of last year’s, yet it will still provide a good show.
Last night, the San Francisco Giants pushed the Texas Rangers off a Cliff by winning the pitcher’s duel turned slugfest 11-7.
The Tibetan Power Release
Colm Barrett, a junior at Ojai Valley School, had never played a down of football in a Spuds Uniform. As a new addition to the school’s team, he wasn’t slated in the starting lineup, but he would soon make his impact during last Saturday’s contest against Dunn.
Barrett wearing #7, reminiscent of the former Ojai great Hunter Helman, scored Ojai’s second touchdown of the game, a post pattern on a pass from QB Gunnar Helman to put OVS in the lead 15-14.
Kill The Umpire!
Hello everybody, me again. As you all know from my previous blog, it is currently the MLB playoffs. It is a time of never ending drama and great theatrics and better performances. However, there has been quite the annoying trend of outcomes being marred by subpar umpiring.
Not saying this is a new trend because this has been going on since umpires have been employed. “The call” in the 1985 world series, Chuck Knoblauch‘s phantom tag in 1999. In the 98 fall classic’s game one, Mark Langston pitched a 2-2 fastball right down the pipe to Tino Martinez. Strike three, Padres get out of the bases loaded jam in a tied game, all’s well. One problem, that was ball 3. The next pitch was launched into the upper deck for a grand slam. Yankees win, Padres lose, as was the outcome of the series.
starwars apocalypse 2012
My god, George Lucas just won’t stop messing with Star Wars will he. Apparently it has come to my attention that a 3-d re-release of the Star Wars saga beginning with episode 1 is set to debut in 2012, date TBA. They are starting with The Phantom Menace which came out in 1999 for those of us who remember. It was the one where Darth Maul has that cool double saber, and a more awesome look than Darth Vader, and is frankly, a more badass villain. It also included Jar Jar Binks, the annoying alien thing that looks like a rejected Pokemon character who many despise and some even consider racist. Now I usually enjoy stupid characters in movies, when they’re funny.
Now this may be a welcome change when it comes to logic seeing as how they are opening with part one rather than part four, even though A New Hope was an awesome movie. They are going to start with part 1 and base the re-makes on ticket sales. Speaking of said sales, I for one am not too thrilled about the jacked up ticket prices when a movie just happens to be in 3-d. Tickets at my local theater go for $10 for an adult ticket. When I saw Pirhanna, My Bloody Valentine, Beowulf, ticket sales were all $15. Plus with that being said, I wasn’t a fan of episode 1 in the first place. Not to mention 2 or 3 before the good ones start.
So I’m a little apprehensive about this, especially since Lucas can’t seem to stop upgrading his movies in re-releases. Him and Spielberg‘s parody episode in SouthPark was 100% fact, and not to mention hilarious. So $15 to see an inferior Star Wars? No thank you.
And if the reason for this was to once and for all settle the debate about Han or Greedo shooting first, then that’s just sad.
OVS Journalism Blog 
You must be logged in to post a comment.