Halloween is one of the most fun and stressful moments of life. This year it’s terrible because I have to balance out celebrating Halloween and also finishing up college work. The most difficult part of Halloween is figuring out outfits. Whenever I open TikTok or Pinterest to find inspiration, they are either over worn outfits, ugly, or too much. All the excellent ones are always worn a million times, but I also don’t want to wear something that no one would understand. Another obstacle is wanting to wear the same costume as your friend. I always tell myself that I will have my outfits planned and bought before summer ends, but this never happens. I’ve already used one of my costumes, but I have three other ones that are ready. This is genuinely shocking because usually I just figure things out really last minute, but I had to stop worrying about it and get it done, just like I need to do with college work.
Finals begin this Friday and I’m terrified. I can’t believe that the school year is coming to an end and I’m not prepared for any of my exams. This semester has felt so intense and finals aren’t necessary. I’m happy where my grades are and don’t want my finals to mess it up. Knowing myself, I probaly won’t spend a long time studying just because I’m already so fed up with school work. My first final is chemistry which is terrifying because I’m horrible at it. Luckily, I have one side of paper to use as a cheat sheet on the test, which will help a lot. I feel confident about my english final because half of it is vocab that I already know and the other half is two essays about a book which we can have during the test. I am terrified for my math final because I have been struggling all year. Once again, I am allowed a full page cheat sheet for math so it will be a lot easier. I’m hoping that my finals go well and don’t make a huge change on my grade.
This might be the most serious blog post I’ve ever written. There are a few things in my life that I always pay attention to. I notice a person’s hair when I’m talking to them, I observe the nature/architecture around me, but what has always caught my attention the most are the circular patterns of life.
Minute by minute, hour by hour, day turns into night and night into day, months follow one another, spring always becomes summer, and so on. Just as in the natural cycles, our lives are filled with them. New life will inevitably find death, setting the wheel of Samsara in motion again, just as dawn always turns to dusk. Even in the behavior of my body, I see these patterns. As a woman, I cannot overlook the circular patterns of my body. I find circles in my mental behavior as well. I carefully track my tendencies and have come to the conclusion that I constantly go through cycles of healing and self-destruction. These patterns are ridiculously obvious. I tear myself down, dropping to the lowest point, then find salvation in this darkness, and then I start again, licking my wounds and healing. I’m currently in a phase of recovery; it took me a long time to get out of a depressive phase, but I’ve clearly traced this pattern. Similarly, in terms of movement and travel, I see these patterns. Periods of stagnation are replaced by times of frantic movement when I’m too busy to wash up before bed and fall asleep from exhaustion.
All these coincidences are funny and seemingly insignificant on their own, but when they come together and form a circular picture, repeating previous patterns, it becomes interesting. Finding circular patterns in anything is one of my biggest life fascinations, and every time I discover a new one, I become more convinced of my theory that everything in this life is cyclical.
I hate almost every prom dress that I see. The ones I like are always hundreds of dollars and why would I spend that much money just for one night? I searched for hours and hours trying to find something that I didn’t find ugly. I ordered two dresses to play it safe and it came a couple of days ago. I tried both on, and both are horrible. They fit weirdly and even if I got them hemmed, they would still look ugly. Prom is next week so I had to spend fifteen dollars on shipping to get a dress that would arrive on time. It is the most basic non-looking prom dress I have ever seen but I knew that there was no way that it was going to be ugly. I just don’t understand why so many ugly prom dresses are made. At least brands should make just good basic dresses that fit flattering. Whenever I see a prom dress that I think is cute, when I examine pictures of it more, I always find something awkward or horrific about it. Finding a prom dress for almost every girl is an annoying and frustrating task and I wonder why people can’t make pretty dresses that don’t cost so much.
I am running out of ideas to write about somehow, so I’m going to the old reliable of would you rather but this time, I am looking up some and then giving my answer for them, so here we go.
1. Would you rather have the ability to see 10 minutes into the future or 150 years into the future?
This is a pretty good one, but out of these two, I have to go with the ten-minute one because it’s more helpful in my life, and 150 years might be way longer than I will live, but it’s not long enough where I’m super interested in what’s going on. I would love to see the things of the future, but maybe it would be better if it was like 1000 rather than 150.
3. Would you rather team up with Wonder Woman or Captain Marvel?
It literally does not matter at all because I am a completely normal human, and both of them have superpowers, so I would not be helpful in fighting at all.
5. Would you rather find true love today or win the lottery next year?
Definitely the lottery because true love is not what I need at this stage in my life. It would be cool and all, but I would much rather have millions of dollars. Although if you asked me this question many years ago, I’m relatively sure that I would pick true love; however, if I am broke in the future, then I would still pick the money.
6. Would you rather be in jail for five years or be in a coma for a decade?
Defiantly in jail almost without question. I would hate to just not be able to do anything for years and have my body and all the work I have put into it just go away. plus, while in jail, I would probably get the crazy shredded since that’s the only thing I really could do. Also, I could read and just try to better myself for those five years. It would suck if it went on my record that I went to jail for five years since getting a job and stuff would suck, but being in a coma and not being able to move and just waking up one day and then everyone you know has changed so much after ten years. honestly, if I was homeless, I think I would try to get into jail with the least serious crime so I could get free living and food.
9. Would you rather have everyone you know be able to read your thoughts or for everyone you know to have access to your Internet history?
Definitely let everyone have access to my internet history because all you will find are super random questions like “How many crab species are there?” or something like that, but with thoughts, you really control them sometimes, although it would be funny to talk to everyone and force people to listen to what I have to say. At least that way all school accouncements will be easier for me. But also, there are so many crazy thoughts that I have and that everyone has so much knowledge of internet history.
10. Would you rather lose your sight or your memories?
This is a pretty good one because, on the one hand, if you lose your memory, you can still do everything, just all your memory would be gone, which is so so so so so so horrible, like maybe the worst thing ever, but you could re-learn who you are and what you love to do even If it would be different however if you lose you sight then everything you do in your life is going to change. For those who play sports, you can’t do that; for those who draw and do art, you can’t do that. You can’t drive or see amazing views. but if I absolutely had to pick, it would be memory.
Sadly, junior year is the most important time of my high school career and the time when I need to get my best grades and have my best academic performance; however, that is extremely difficult.
I’m definitely done with school and everything that comes with it. It is kinda expected that during your hardest time, you get your best grades, but honesty, that has just not happened even with me putting more effort into school than in previous years. I have not been able to get straight As any time in my life, and now that I have the most things going on in my life, I’m expected to get them. Like, come on, that’s not gonna happen.
On top of school, I still have things outside my current life that have a higher priority. However, when I prioritize those other things, my grades start to slip. So I’m not too sure what to do.
I can put my school life ahead of my other life, but that will hinder my mental health. Plus, school just isn’t as important to me as other things, but it’s important for my future (maybe?).
But anyway, back to the topic of the post, I definitely have the junior form of senior-itis, which is slightly different from senior-itis but I just know that my college is riding on this year, so I’m still putting in some work but trying my hardest to put in the least amount of effort and get maximum outcome.
Another way it’s similar to senior itis is that I am very ready to leave OVS. No offense to the school; I just believe I have served my time here and am ready for a little change of pace.
And watching the seniors all get ready to leave to go to college or wherever they plan on going makes it way worse. I feel like I’m picking up their readiness to leave when, in fact, I’m not close to leaving yet.
Although it is all about perspective, because it is unbelievable that I’m already nearing the end of my junior year when I was a freshman not too long ago, so maybe looking at it from another way will help out.
This isn’t something new that people haven’t heard im pretty sure everyone is feeling this. I just needed to write this down somewhere.
The place where people go when they finally delete TikTok to try to make an effort to bring their screen time down. However, in semi-recent times, Instagram reels have become a place of true terror and horror. Now, I personally believe that TikTok is much more addicting than Instagram reels because their algorithm is better; however, I am not too sure if Instagram is better, honestly. While TikTok might make you spend 5 hours looking at stuff that you won’t remember or care about the moment you turn it off, Instagram reels will show you things that you will remember, but you don’t wish you did. Instagram has a pretty horrible filter that stops people from seeing horrible things on there. On Instagram reels, there is an absurd amount of people dying or getting attacked, mainly shown in car crash videos along with other videos that should not be shown, such as racist ideas/jokes. The reason why these videos don’t get taken down is that you are only seeing the car get crushed or the person fly out the window but not the person actually dying, and the racist jokes don’t get taken down because the algorithm can’t really tell what is racist and what isn’t so it relies on the judgment of the people watching the reels to report the things they see. However, because these videos have become so commonplace they often time they never get reported, but they get likes and shares because people have come to find these videos normal and funny. The main issue with all this is that these ideas and videos are becoming commonplace which reflects on the people. Even if they are jokes, they instill these views into people, which is obviously a horrible thing. Now, I’m not free of these videos, but it’s because I’ve seen so many that I know how big of an issue it is. If you go onto Instagram and read the comments of videos you will find some pretty horrible things.
When you turn 18, 90-96 percent of the time you will ever spend with your parents is over.
When I read that, I was pretty shocked. Logically, it makes sense. Your parents care for you as a child, and then you leave home to lead your individual life. You make your own way and surround yourself with the people you choose. At times, visiting home seems to be an onerous chore.
However, I’ve gotten closer to my family in the past few years. As a little kid, your parents are the people who tell you what you have to do and what you can’t do. The other day, my mother, at the dining table, said she saw me as a friend.
What’s interesting is my sister looked at me, gloating. “A friend? Like, you’re not even a part of the family anymore!”
I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but I think this meets the word count requirement and this blog is already late.
Recently I have found a special satisfaction in photographing chaos. There’s something about the disordered mass of cosmetics, trash, or whatever else that resonates with me. I see something incredibly organized within these piles, as if they are exactly where they are meant to be. Throughout my life, my parents scolded me for the mess in my room, and I always obediently cleaned up after myself.
But what’s so bad about my disorder? I know exactly which pile contains the needed top or blouse, so what’s the problem with my things being exactly where I want them to be? In essence, our entire life is a disorderly sequence of events and people, from which we choose those that suit us. Throughout my life, I have never been a fan of perfect plans and schedules; they suffocate me. I choose chaos for myself, letting everything be wherever it wants to be, no other way.
Honestly been considering getting a flip phone after a lot of thinking. The only things I really need from a phone is text call and music however the flip phone doesn’t have music, so I’m not really sure if I should get one or not. I think it would be sick to have a flip phone after being convinced of the benefits by someone with the name of Ben, but I would need some sort of other device for music. I had something for that a while ago, aka an Apple watch but I lost that when I was surfing and I left it on the back of Soren’s car, and then we drove away so it fell off. I would buy a new one and that would fix all my problems but they cost a lot of money but not to much so im defenitly considering it. Back to the flip phone I feel like it would just be a cool things ot have but ben brought up a good point aswell that it would kinda filter out the people i meet. for example if I wip out the flip phone and the person I meet is like ” thats sick as hell” that would tell me that their more my type of person but if they were like “wow you have a flip phone *in a very undermining tone*” it would tell me that their not my type of person.
OVS Journalism Blog 
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