Category: happy

Gratitude

leapingwaterLeave a comment

As my seventeenth year of life is approaching, I’ve been thinking a lot about of the things I’m grateful for. It’s easy to get caught up in day to day life and be so focused on what could be in the future and less about what is happening now. It’s easy to take things for granted, and it’s human nature really. Living life sort of slowly in a way helps to appreciate it better. Looking at simple things in a different light and appreciating its beauty is something that I’ve grown to make a habit of. I love so many things and I have a lot more to give for the rest of my life. I know I cannot make much of a striking difference in this world but I do know that I love. I’m grateful for having a life of health with beautiful family and friends. Social media prompts and conditions us to always wanting more. Maybe something material, or an unrealistic life that we simply just cannot lead. We have to look at what we have.

pc:https://www.foodmatters.com/media/cache/6d/b9/6db95cf4d8d98500cd9bcdfa98f4b481.jpg

My spring break plan……..

graypenguinLeave a comment

There are only about two months left in this school year. Prom and spring break will be here in one week. I am not sure what I will do each time the break comes. To be honest, I honestly don’t know what to do since I have done most of the sightseeing I can do in LA. I will be staying with my roommate this break, but the thing I am most looking forward to is meeting up with my Japanese friends on Saturday and Sunday at first weekend of break. I usually don’t get to see them very often and spend a lot of time with them, so I am excited to going out to lunch, watching movies, and so much more. Also, it will be my roommate’s birthday during this break, so I would like to make it a memorable day by going on a small trip somewhere, riding many roller coasters at an amusement park, or having a nice dinner. Of course, I also want to go to beverly hills and do our usual routine that we usually do when we are at LA. After spring break, summer break is only 7 weeks away, so I want to make the most of my remaining time as an 11th grader.

pc;https://media.timeout.com/images/105485850/1536/864/image.webp

Things no one knows

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

My childhood memories vary. I have my core memories of smiling and laughter, and I have my traumatic memories I think about and feel sad for my parents. When I went to live with my grandparents, I smiled with happiness when I got to see one of my parents for the first time in months. I like to remember the happy moments with my parents like when my dad taught me how to ride a bike which by chance we got to capture on video. Or the times I got to spend the whole days and nights with my mom. At different times my parents addictions changed in severity. My dad was doing pretty well until he wasn’t. While my mom was fighting with the pain and resistance she had towards herself she always worked hard to battle her addictions for me in the end. At times my dad was doing bad my mom would be do good and vise versa. I moved in switching with both sets of grandparents at around the age of 5. Yes, I remember the times my mom and I would paint for hours out of the day but I also remember the consistent fighting and arguing of the two young parents trying to navigate through adulthood while trying to raise a child as children. When I catch myself obsessing or being upset about something so small I find myself in reflection to what I have witnessed and felt when I was younger. I normally don’t cry about something really important like death unless I am alone but I catch myself crying over homework loads which is impractical. I think when I moved in with my grandparents I faced a lot of unkept promises. Whether I was told I would get to see my mom and then I wasn’t able to or whether my dad didn’t show up for easter and I was too sad to tell anyone why without tearing up. From the piles of unkept promises and the missing of events important to me I eventually became numb to it and felt happy that other people showed up for me. I don’t by any means resent either of my parents I am mainly proud of my mom for the accomplishments and achievements she has fulfilled for herself and me. And as for my dad I am not very close to him and I feel like both him and I have a part in that. I don’t blame my parents for being young and nieve not knowing what was coming. I don’t hold them against their addictions and confusing lives. I am grateful for my grandparents and the efforts my parents put in for me. The love they have for me and the love I have for them. Whether or not the love is direct or unconditional the love is there. My situation is different from a lot of others I am grateful that through their struggles they kept peace between everyone for me and my well being. I usually hold back when I talk about the situation or write about it just because I don’t want either of them to feel sad or like they did something wrong because if none of that happened I wouldn’t have been shaped into who I am now.

Pc: me

Moon

graypenguinLeave a comment

The night sky seen from the city of Ojai is very beautiful. The fact that the moon is the same no matter where in the world you look at it is very strange. I think it is mysterious that we share the same thing no matter how far apart we are. I never get tired of looking at the moon, which has a different face every day. Also, the moon that hides behind clouds or lights up the dark streets with faint lights at night is always fascinating to see. In my home country, we use such a moon as an expression for confession. When we express our feelings to others, we sometimes feel embarrassed to say the words directly. Japanese people in the past had such words as well: The moon is beautiful. When Soseki Natsume, a famous writer of the Meiji era , was an English teacher, he was asked how to translate “I love you,” and he replied, “Japanese people don’t say that. You should translate it as ‘The moon is beautiful.” In the past, Japanese men were embarrassed to say “I love you” to the woman they liked, so they said, “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it? Some of those words were, “I want to watch the moon with you.” or “The moon and you are both beautiful.”These are very romantic and can probably only be expressed by referring to the moon.

pc;me

I wish I could…

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

I wish I could… I wish I could… I wish I could… travel the world. I wish I could find what fumes my random breakdowns. I wish I could read what was going on in someone else’s mind. I wish I could live along the coast with my house on the edge of a cliffside overlooking the water with the mountains on the other side of my home towering over. I wish I could know when I do something wrong. I wish I could be alone. What I wish I could do compared to what I realistically can do is far away from one another. On one hand I can possibly travel the world someday. On the other hand I won’t be able to tell myself why I am upset about nothing or read someone else’s mind. All I can do is hope. I can hope one day I won’t have to question a break down. I can hope one day I can talk to someone directly and they can tell me how they are feeling truly. I wish I could change people’s opinion and outlooks on specific situations but I can’t. I am only human. We wish that we could and sometimes we can but only if we think positively. Forgiveness and forgetness is the key to life in my opinion. If you forgive you might find the answer to your question of why? If you forget you can forgive. I wish I could change time. I wish I could eat a feast without feeling full. I wish I could learn to never make a mistake again rather than continuously making mistakes and learning from them. But none of that is realistic. We live. And we learn. We forgive. And we forget. We have love. And we have loss. I wish I could make everyone believe this.

so upsetting → so exciting

poofypuffyLeave a comment

I just realized college is just four more years of school. 

Yes, logically I knew that. There are a lot of things that I think you can understand logically, but emotionally it doesn’t hit you for a while. 

I kept romanticizing college and finishing high school in my head- going somewhere new (a big city!!), meeting new people, living closer to people I know, participating in cool programs at my college… 

But I was just filling in some important dates on my calendar, and when I wrote “First Day of Class” I realized that at the heart of all the shiny new things is the reality that college is still school. I am going to go to wake up and go to class where I will sit and listen to a teacher talk. I will do homework and study and take tests. 

But actually writing this I am changing my mind. Yes, it will be school. But it will also be learning more independently. I can shape my class schedule to my personal schedule and not vice versa. I will be living on my own(ish) and taking classes that interest me (and some that are less interesting). Actually, thinking about that I am really excited. Right now I really do like CompSci and I am excited to take classes on that. Living more independently is very exciting to me.

Picture Credit: Tanner Boriack

3 things I am grateful for #4

poofypuffyLeave a comment

I noticed a lot of the things I write about being grateful for are foods. I do not think that is an issue because food is good and often taken for granted, but I am going to try to write about all non-food things today just to diversify things. Although I am eating my greek yogurt right now and it is so good that I started singing about how much I love yogurt.

  1. Graduation. I am very grateful for graduation coming soon, and I am grateful for my education, and also grateful to end one chapter of my life. My cousin has a sign in her room that says something along the lines of “Every beginning starts with an end.” I didn’t get it, and she explained to me that every time something ends, it signifies the beginning of something else. Every time something begins, it came at the cost of something else ending. I liked that a lot, because sometimes I get so excited for the next thing, not realizing it comes at the cost of the first thing ending. To me, it is a reminder to appreciate the things we have when we have them.
  2. Cups. Right now, I am drinking out of a metal cup with nature propaganda on it. I don’t understand what it is talking about but it has REI, North Face, Merrell, Patagonia, and Keen printed on it. I am grateful for it because it is a cute cup. 
  3. Mice. Mice are cute. Today, Rory showed me a poster that had the Mouse Grimace Scale. It is made by people who are trying to reduce animal testing. The poster is supposed be scientific and show different levels of various types of reactions by mice, but the poster looks like it is just a bunch of mouse faces.

Photo Credit: https://www.nc3rs.org.uk/3rs-resources/grimace-scales/grimace-scale-mouse

3 Things I am Grateful for #3

poofypuffyLeave a comment

I was told that I can indeed write all my blogs now and not write anymore, so that is the plan. Also, I am enjoying these.

  1. Yogurt. I love yogurt. My mom always buys the really sweet kind, which is fine but I think I prefer Greek yogurt. My dad and I went to Vons after school yesterday and got some Greek yogurt. I couldn’t wait to eat it so I had some for dinner, and I put frozen goji berries in it because we didn’t have any fresh blueberries or strawberries or anything. It was so good and I can’t wait to eat it for breakfast this morning.
  2. Good food. I am grateful that my mom keeps a lot of good food in the house. I read (or heard?) one time about someone who received some amount of money after not having very much for a long time. They said the best part of being rich was that they could eat fruits that didn’t have mold on them. I am very grateful to have access to lots of tasty, un-moldy, and nutritious food. 
  3. Ceramics class. Having a class where you can make bowls and mugs and take them home is so cool. Not only are you taking home knowledge/a new skill, but you also get to take home custom-made bowls, mugs, or whatever you want to make. I want to try and get into the ceramics room more often so I can take advantage of this while I still can.

Picture Credit: Azure Magazine

Three things I am grateful for #2

poofypuffyLeave a comment

If I write way too many blogs now, maybe I can get to the point where I just don’t have to write any more blogs for the rest of the year. 

Three things I am grateful for today

  1. Feeling awake. I went to bed too late yesterday, because I needed to wake up early this morning. I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it but I did. I thought I would be tired and miserable today, and I am not. I actually feel very happy and awake, and I am grateful for that.
  2. Pocky. I ate some chocolate-coconut pocky today and it was very good. I like sweet things. I don’t mean to eat a lot of sweets so often but they make me happy.
  3. Lists. I used to not use lists, or I would try to write some down and then I wouldn’t use them. I got some to-do list sticky notes during secret snowflake and they are so helpful. I write a to-do list during school every day and consult it when I work on my homework at night. It’s gotten to the point where I feel lost when I’m trying to study without my sticky notes. 

Picture Credit: tekforstaa.dk

Three things I am grateful for

poofypuffyLeave a comment

I just wrote a blog talking about how I’m going to be in significant debt after college, so I feel like writing about things that I am grateful for.

  1. The cake I just ate. It was not very sweet, but it had a little bit of cream on it which was yummy.
  2. Tea. I am drinking a tea that I don’t really know the name of, but my mom told me it is called mei cha. It is very bitter, but once you drink the tea, you taste sweetness in your mouth. It is very interesting and I love it. My mom and I are drinking tea while she reads Dune and I type blogs for journalism. 
  3. My mom. She was very excited when she got her Dune books in the mail today. She has been reading the first book on her phone as a pdf, so she was excited to get the physical copy finally. After we watched the Dune 2 movie in theatres, she came home and bought the entirety of the Dune series, which is like at least 8 books. She likes to read the ending of a book before reading it, and she probably read the entire plot of the books on wikipedia before she even bought them.

Picture credit: amazon.com