This is kind of silly, but do you ever think of the chances of something happening? Like, you coming across this blog post. Even if you are from my school, or in my journalism class, think about how rare that is. In this entire world of eight billion people, here I am, writing about something insignificant, and you are reading it. I think about this with friendships, too. For example, my roommate is from Japan, and I was born in America. The chances of us ever meeting were slim. What if she never went to school in America? What if I had stayed at a day school in Los Angeles? There are so many little daily decisions that you make, even subconsciously, that technically change the entire trajectory of your life. It’s weird to think about.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Bill. He sat at the bus stop, and it was raining. He held of bouquet. It was a bouquet of roses. They were very pretty at one point, but he had been sitting and waiting at the bus stop for a while, and they were wilting. It was wet and cold outside, but he knew that it would be better when he got on the bus. He wore a dress shirt and pants that were not warm enough to shield him from the cold, wet, weather. Bill shivered.
He stared out at the supermarket across the street. It would be dry and warm in the supermarket, but he was waiting for the bus.
Bill looked out at the damp scenery, doing and thinking nothing. He was simply waiting in a cold, trance-like stupor.
A woman walked along the sidewalk, holding an umbrella. She was walking her dog, and the dog was wearing a little raincoat. As she approached the bus stop, she could see a man sitting on the bench. She wondered if he was waiting for the bus, and she wondered if he knew that the bus had been decommissioned earlier that month. The woman hesitated. Should she tell him that the bus would not come? He looked quite still and content, waiting, and she did not want to intrude. And perhaps the bus was back in order. She was afraid to interrupt his day and afraid to be wrong, so she walked past the bus stop and said nothing.
Bill waited for the bus, but the bus never came. It continued to rain for years, and for years, the bus never came. Bill sat a the bus stop, waiting for the bus. Every year that passed watered the seedling of despair that Bill nurtured in him. His bouquet of roses died, and his clothes faded. With this despair, Bill clung to the hope that the bus was almost here and that when the bus came, it would restore the delicate life in his bouquet and the robust color of his clothes, and everything would be right again. Sometimes he thought he heard the hiss of an engine or the grumble of the wheels, but it was an illusion brought on by the rain.
Eventually, Bill grew old and died at the bus stop, waiting in the rain.
I’m scared for what the future holds, for the rest of this week.
I am scared of getting rejected from college.
I’m scared of losing all my friends.
I’m scared of how the play will turn out.
I’m scared of being alone.
I’m scared she’ll lie again.
I’m scared I’ll fail.
I’m scared they won’t believe me.
I’m scared that I’ll end up in jail.
okay, the last one just rhymed and is not realistic but I am 18 so who knows. I mean I don’t plan on committing any crimes, especially after law class.
I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m scared of a lot of stuff, and I haven’t really told anyone. I guess that’s why I get anxious and ask a lot of questions. I’m not angry or jealous, I’m just scared.
This sounds really dumb, this wasn’t what I thought I’d write about but I guess I was just overthinking. She likes to remind me of how much influence she has. She likes to put me in my place. She likes to make me feel alone. She likes to seem nice. She isn’t how she presents herself, she loves to tell a lie. God how much she loves to control me. She’s already crossed the line. She’ll do it again if you watch carefully.
This little mind of mine.
(If you thought I was talking about someone. I’m not. why did you think them?)
Life’s been kind of a mess recently. Between college, work, basketball, and the play my brain just hasn’t worked. I’ve been forgetful with my work, and my time management has been getting much worse. I’m not ready. I feel so behind, maybe it’s burning out. To be honest, I’m not really sure.
Is this what senioritis is?
Anyway, it’s not all bad, my team won our mock trial. All 3 charges were dismissed. I’ve been happier, better. College is keeping me anxious. I just hope it continues going good. Hopefully, it keeps getting better. I feel like I’ve been a little too busy, like am I really enjoying my last moments here?
yes
actually, I think that’s the only thing I am certain about. laughing with my friends going 20 mph down a dark road heads sticking out the top and screaming like we are going 70 mph. Or staying up till 2 in the morning bullying and gaslighting random kids on Roblox.
That’s what I’m going to remember when I leave, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Coming back from Winter Break is always a struggle. Before leaving, you’re in a routine and have got everything nailed down. When you return it feels like starting everything from scratch. It’s hard to get back into school mode. This concept is what makes part of the second semester harder as a whole. Although we get more things to look forward to and more breaks, the academic part is more challenging. All of these beautiful breaks we get make the school part all the harder once the break has ended. In the first semester, despite it feeling like a never-ending marathon of school work, you find a nice rhythm in the consistency.
Additionally, what makes the back hard is having to come and live again by the school’s sleep schedule. Over the breaks, I consistently go to bed at around 3 am and don’t wake up until the afternoon the next day. Bering back at school and having to wake up at 7 am or earlier is a harsh reality check. All I want to do is sleep.
You know what’s interesting? All California high schools are required to have an 8:30 start time now. Go figures it began the year after I left. Anyways, I would much appreciate this enacted at OVS, after all, it is what Gavin Newsom wants and how can we be OK with disappointing him?
Working at the best ice cream shop in town is a pretty good thing most of the time. It’s all pretty easy work but there are also some stressful times while working there. but I think the pros outweigh the cons by quite a lot.
Pros: 1) Free ice cream once a day and while I’m working there I can kinda just eat as much as I want since we have tasters that are free for other people to have so it’s also free for me since I work there. 2) I’m getting probably (on a bad day) an OVS teacher’s salary in tips alone since they aren’t taxed and it’s in Ojai so people can afford to tip most of the time. Also, the normal wage that I get but the tips are more fun. 3) is that I get to meet more people and have a lot of interactions with people whom I have never met which has helped me with talking and meeting new people and I have learned to have better social interactions because of it. 4) it’s a pretty chill job I don’t have to work that hard (well some moments are rough) 5) I get to listen to music while working
Cons: 1) as I said some moments can be stressful like when a bunch of people comes in at once and something in the back breaks or a topping runs out or an old man/child drops his ice cream and stuff like that. 2) the freaking machines are the most annoying part of the job like in some ways it is easier but if it breaks then everything goes sooo wrong and it’s just very stressful. 3) when someone asks for an ice cream cone instead of just being able to scoop it like a normal place I have to make a tower that if I do it wrong it falls over and 90% of it’s at an angle that is on the verge of falling over 4) closing is pretty rough as well it takes a while to do and is hard on my back.
It is a very human thing for us to always be waiting for something to happen, or to be better. For example, if there is New Years Day coming up, people tend to say that they will change their habits, and become an entirely “new” person, but only once the year starts. We hold off on using that special perfume we were gifted, or wearing that outfit that we are saving for the “right” event. We wait our entire weeks for the days of work or school to end so that we can have those two days of freedom. We repeat this cycle over and over again of waiting for the satisfaction of the next “big thing” because that is what keeps many of us going. Sometimes this is just naturally something that can help motivate us, but there is a line drawn when it consumes your daily life to the point that you are hoping and wishing for a day to end. It is difficult, but its good to remind yourself that you must appreciate every day that you are living even if you are doing something simple. Waiting for the next great thing to celebrate might never come, so celebrate the things that you have in your life in the present moment.
It is absolutely unbelievable, but this year is almost over. I am writing this 30 minutes away from November 30th, and I still feel like November just started. So many amazing things have happened this year that I will never forget. I have been able to be roommates with my best friend for a second year now, which has brought so much happiness to my life. I am so thankful for everything she does for me, as well as her loving heart, sense of humor, and our constant singing together everywhere we go with songs that will not get out of our head. I am surrounded by so many beautiful friends, and I have continued to make new ones as well in this past year. I have gone on very memorable camping trips. Even though I really was thinking the entire time how much I would love to take a shower right in that moment, looking back I am really happy I had gone and made memories, and met new people. I am thankful that I have such an amazing family, and that they are in great health. I had a really fun sixteenth birthday with my family and friends from inside and outside of school, where we all decorated cakes (which didn’t all turn out looking so good…) I traveled to Japan for the first time with my best friend. I passed my permit test! I went to a concert with my friend which was really fun! I’ve had a really amazing year, and I can’t believe that just in a month, it will be a new one.
It was actually the best experience I’ve ever had. If you don’t know what SLDC is I’ll explain it.
It’s the student leadership and diversity conference, otherwise known as the POCC (people of color conference) At the conference we talk about things that normally aren’t addressed at our PWI’s (Primarily white institutions) We talk about microaggressions, inappropriate comments, or jokes, codesiwtching, and being proud of our culture. We have amazing inspirational strong guest speakers, who talk about their experiences as people of color. We have family groups that intermingle everybody of all races, cultures, sexualities, and ethnicities. They are huge groups of about 70 people. Home groups are smaller groups in our family groups where we can talk about topics more in-depth. We address things like abortion laws, cancel culture, and socioeconomic status. It is safe to say all these people were on a totally different level of maturity that isn’t in most teenagers. Not only that but they understood what it was like being in a PWI and related to the problems we went through. When I thought I was the only person going through this stuff at least 20 other people spoke up about similar if not the same experiences.
It wasn’t all serious talks and guest speeches. We didn’t sit for hours listening to one guy speak over and over. we would joke around, laugh, rap, dance, and party. The guest speakers would rap their speeches reaching into the depths of your soul.
It was life-changing.
I met the most amazing people ever. I got a whole new familia. My affinity group, the Latinx group, the loudest best most fun group, was probably the highlight of my trip. I met the most amazing people, I came out of my shell and was dancing with everyone. we had our own dance party at dinner which continued into our affinity group time right after. I have never felt so at home. I never wanted it to end.
alas it did, I cried a lot. The closing ceremony was a lot. One of the main speakers had us do an exercise where we found people we love, people who changed our lives, and people who made our experience. I didn’t last two seconds without crying. People came up to me thanking me for dragging them into the dance circle and teaching them to dance. I cried while hugging people I literally met two days ago. i probably cried for hours that day, my friends all made fun of me. I miss them.
I plan on using what I learned there to make OVS better. Making people aware, it’s hard but I’m working on it.
I am terrified by the finals that I need to take next week. All year I’ve been talking about how I was going to make an academic comeback but instead, my grades just keep on dropping. This semester, my grades were pretty average and not too bad but I know that all of my grades will drop so far down once I take my finals. In English and ap world, I’m not too nervous because I understand what is happening. I am better at just keeping a summary of what we are doing. In chemistry and in Algebra II, I have no clue what is going on. There is way too much to memorize and since the first week of school, I have given up on these two subjects. Whenever I fail a test, which is a lot, I am always able to help myself by doing corrections. Unfortunately, there are no corrections for finals. I need to get lucky and hope that everyone in my class fails their exams so the grade can have the most insane curve.
OVS Journalism Blog 
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