Category: fall

November 1st

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I don’t think I’ve written more in my life than in the past few weeks. I had eight college deadlines on November 1st, and I decided to complete my work at the last minute. I just submitted half of my college applications, and I’m honestly done. I feel like the amount of work students do building up to applying to college is enough. Going through a tedious process of reviewing everything I’ve done with my life over the past eighteen years, with a word limit, feels impossible. I’m trying to manifest that I will get into lots of colleges, but I’m also not delusional. I missed one of the best weekends of the year, sick and doing college work, and I just hope that I get good karma from this. On top of all of this college work, I keep forgetting that I actually have school work, but that seems more like a tomorrow problem.

“Working Typing” by Bench Accounting/ CC0 1.0

Life

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The thought of college is the only thing giving me the will to live, but actually doing the work to go to college is doing the exact opposite. I feel like the amount of work that students need to do to go to college is obscene. We have basically dedicated the past eighteen years of our lives just to get into college. Life feels like a never-ending cycle of doing work to be rewarded with even more work and responsibilities. After I finish college then I have to find an even harder job. I feel like I’m just not really a person who wants to have to do that. I’m sure that some people like their job, but I swear that the majority of people feel like it’s a little torturous. The world wasn’t made for people to be stuck in a strict daily schedule, but to live spontaneously and be free. Jobs definitely make people grow, but they also make people close-minded, a little brainwashed. I’m excited to finish high school, but really scared of the rest of my life.

Photo by Lum3n on Pexels.com

hoco makes me loco

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This weekend I’m going to my friend’s homecoming, and I’m just really stressed out. I forgot that she had invited me two months ago, so I ordered my dress a week ago. It arrived yesterday, which is two days before, and I kind of hate it. I have so much work that I need to catch up on, and I feel like homecoming is just going to take over my weekend. I also have no idea what time the dance starts and ends, and I really don’t like not having plans. We are supposed to get ready with a group of girls before, and I have never met at least half of them, so that’s probably going to be awkward. Even though I’m nervous, I’m still excited because we are getting ready at our friend’s house, who is now in college, as her sister is having people over to get ready. My friends and I have already claimed to get prepared in our friend’s room, which is in college, because it would honestly be disrespectful if someone else who wasn’t us got ready in her room. I am manifesting that everything goes well tomorrow because I just see a lot of things that could go wrong.

Fall

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

This morning I got my first pumpkin spice chai tea from Starbucks. The moment I took a sip I felt fall in the air. Don’t get me wrong I love summer more then anything, but there is something about fall that I find calming. After a long hot summer, the temperature starts to go down, Friday night football starts up, and most importantly Halloween and Homecoming. Fall has always been one of my favorite seasons I can finally start wearing comfy hoodies and sweats and get a hot chai before school. It’s not super cold yet but the summer heat is coming to an end. I associate a lot of things with fall but the most important one has to be pumpkins. I love pumpkins whether it’s carving them or having a pumpkin pie. There is something about Fall that is just comforting and I am so happy it finally cools down.

PC:”Orange Pumpkins” by Corey Blaz/ CC0 1.0

Falling Leaves

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(I first wrote this when I was around 13 or 14. It’s a bit disorienting to think that I was of the mind to write something like this, but this oldie is still a goodie.)

These green leaves

In their impetuous youth

Would spend their year of life

On watching humans live

The lives they never could

It was a wonder seeing them

Them, showing off their longevity

To choose their ways, to choose their fates

To weave their strings of life themselves

When leaves are blown adrift in wind

It’s helpless to resist, they say

In spring they envy cherry blossoms too

Off white small petals that would die in weeks

But even if it sounds too crazy, know

That blossoms rave so bravely in death

That their plight’s much more celebrated, cared

And have the simple leaves been loved before?

For leaves, they’re doomed

For brevity

For nothing in

Their future but

Repeating their

Colossal faults

Till end 

Then they’re

Tumbling

Down to

Earth

Bobbing and weaving and dancing through the air

Trying to be flames

With their brittle, brown carcass

To shine before the end

To roots centuries old

Bony and formal and cold

That leaves had always flown above before

They were weaving for a new fate.

But now it lies dead.

All because of what they were.

Not even to see the crescendo of freeze.

“Leaves Fall” by Kelly Ishmael/ CC0 1.0

Making a Christmas and Hanukah List

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Making a Christmas and Hanukah list gives me so much anxiety. My parents always want my list by a certain day, and I never know what to put on it. Sure, I want plenty of things. I am addicted to shopping, but I am almost guaranteed to get what’s on the list, and I don’t want to waste it on something I don’t absolutely adore. This leads me to a serious of questions to decide if the item is worth making my list.

Will it match with my other clothes?

How likely am I to wear this regularly. (will it just sit in my drawers and be worn a few times)

Do I own something similar already?

These questions narrow down the options and help me make my list. Last year, I forgot to turn in my list and just got money, which I was grateful for, but I love Christmas. My favorite part is opening gifts while listening to music. I celebrate both Hanukah and Christmas and although my family doesn’t light all the candles or eat a Christmas dinner altogether, I still love the holidays. I also love drinking pumpkin chai, wearing sweaters, and rewatching Gilmore Girls. Summer of course is still my favorite season because nothing can beat being tan and spending nights driving and blasting music.

PC:”Christmas Gifts” by Patryk Dziejma/ CC0 1.0

My Issue with Thanksgiving

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I don’t think I’ve ever met someone whose favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. I understand that it is time to reunite with family and celebrate, but it just stresses me out way too much. I always have a big thanksgiving with about thirty people and I feel like I’m being tested the whole time. People always ask what college I’m going to, how I’m doing in school and what my interests are. My cousins, who are older than me, are all in college or have recently graduated. All of them have their thing. They are all basically amazing athletes and students. They all go to really good colleges like USC or NYU and they act like those are really easy schools to get into. I understand that it is important to think about college, but they have been asking me which one I’m going to since I was in fifth grade. My Thanksgiving dinner is way too formal. There is a whole seating chart that separates me and my immediate family, so I’m silent most of the dinner. My final issue with it is the food. I despise Thanksgiving food and I always end up only eating mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and pie. My family doesn’t really eat on Thanksgiving, so their stomachs are empty by the time we have our dinner, but because I don’t eat that much at dinner, I am hungry the whole day.

“Thanksgiving Autumn” by Element5 Digital/ CC0 1.0

Music

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I used to hate listening to music while doing homework because I swore I could never focus with music playing. Over the summer, I was traveling a lot, and all I did was listen to music. I almost always had an Airpod in, which made my trip so much better. My family is very loud and chaotic especially when traveling. I often get travel anxiety as I always feel like I forgot something and worry about being on time as my mom is notoriously late. Music became my escape whenever my family would get too loud or I would feel overwhelmed. I would put on my noise-canceling headphones and turn on some music. I often make a new playlist as I get bored and my music taste constantly evolves. I’ve been listening to a lot of Drake, Taylor Swift, Frank Ocean, SZA, Travis Scott, Alex G, Future, Cigarettes After Sex, and Olivia Rodrigo. My music taste isn’t very original but I enjoy it and stay tuned for a blog on my Spotify wrapped.

“Headphones Music” by JESHOOTS.com/ CC0 1.0

I am going to college!

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I have applied to three schools so far, and I don’t plan on applying to more. One is the school my dad went to. Another one is a school I toured and loved when visiting family. One sends me an admission decision in December, but two of them are rolling decision. I got an acceptance during Spudfest, and I got the acceptance to the second school today! I was tired this morning because I woke up at five, but I was wide awake after I got the acceptance. I was over the moon about it the whole day, because I’ve been imagining myself leaving home and going off to college, and now it seems like so much more of a concrete reality. The fact that one chapter of my life is ending and another will start soon is staring me in the face. That truth is now unquestionable and undeniable. I can’t wait.

Picture Credit: Steinar Engeland

Fall in Love

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

When the leaves turn crisp, brown, and fall I know something is coming… My favorite season. The start of what seems like new beginnings. When the leaves crumble and resprout so do I. In the fall the air is fresh of cinnamon, pumpkins, and pie. The beginning of the holidays with family and friends resume once again. Pumpkin tea with a side of Gilmore Girls. Outfits become cuter as the layering begins for the fast coming winter. A cute scarf to go with the most perfect pair of ugg slippers is almost as fall as it gets. As much as I love winter(only because of christmas and my birthday) I do love fall a little extra. The thought of being cozied up in a warm delightful bed watching seasonal movies and special episodes of my favorite shows. Cooking and baking with my favorite soul, as we watch the rain pour down through the window we briskly pour the batter into the pan. Another anticipated rainy day. As the fireplace crackles and the rain patters I read the most enrapturing book. As I lay in bed thoughts flood through, thoughts of love, romanticizing, and adoration. The way a faultless fall finishes must intend falling in love.

PC: Both by me.