Category: feelings

To my sister

poofypuffyLeave a comment

You are the most important person in my life. 

Sometimes, the more you discover about a person, the less you like them. The more I discover about you, my little sister, the more I admire you. You have a capacity for kindness that I aspire to have one day. You are always there for me, whether it is to help me put away the dishes or to hug me when I cry. 

I try to comfort you too. You cry more than me, but I also cried a lot when I was nine. I think that at some point, you will find out that while your emotions and feelings and distresses are valid, some things are not worth your tears. You will find that some things are there not to knock you down but to build you up, and you will find that you are so much stronger than the things that aim to knock you down. You will find that when opinions will differ from yours, there is an opportunity to learn rather than a cause to feel hurt. You will find that when life throws difficulty at you, you are not the only one in the world who has difficulties. I don’t mean that lessens your challenges, but rather we are all, in the wise words of Mr. Alvarez, slaying dragons. Together.

However, this is not something I can tell you, I think. I think you will come to your own conclusions, in your own way, in your own mind, in your own time.

I believe in you!

Photo Credit: Kelly Sikkema

Love

justthatonegirll1 Comment

To think about love terrifies me. The scary thing about love is that you never know when it is coming or when it is about to end. To my mind the scariest fragment of love is whether I get to have the experience of loving another or another loving me. For the majority of people this is not something that is in the line of thinking on a regular basis. The ongoing want and urge to have the ideal teenage love as if we were starring in our own movie with nothing to fright because we have each other to hold on too. Immaturity gets the best of us during these situations. At this age, in this generation, the little things are considerably left unnoticed. Where has all of the innocence gone? Now we have to worry whether the person we desire has opened our snap or text message rather than opened our hand written letters sent through mail. The meaningful moments within love have simply disappeared. Do I look good enough to snap him right now? Runs through my head like a bullet. Where have the simple walks through the park retired too? Now all the meaningfulness has taken a leave. The falling asleep on accident while admiring the world’s beauty has changed, to the falling asleep watching a rated R movie with no thoughts at all. No simple conversations, just silence. The silence that comes along with the “love” of this generation is not as peaceful or calm as it once was. What happened to the innocence of painting together with the one you like while the sunsets below the mountain tops? What happened to the stargazing on a picnic blanket in a large open field? Where has the love in the world gone? And then one day you wake up and suddenly realize real love is gone and life is not like the movies. Life is not like how it was decades ago. Life has changed and love has developed into a scary step into the long road of life.

Photo Credits:Me

Best friends

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

All my life, I’ve considered many different people to be my best friend, and these people have come and gone. During my freshman orientation, my eye caught a girl wearing the same outfit I was planning on wearing. After an hour of name games and icebreakers, I decided I was going to talk to her. The first thing I said, which we still joke about today, is “To be honest you look like the only normal person here.” She brought me to her room and then we went to lunch together, little did I know she was going to be my best friend. On the first day of classes, I realized she was in my history and we quickly got close. The next weekend I had an argument and fell out with my school friends from the previous year. I started only hanging out with her and I learned to love her so much, we found out we had so much more in common then we could’ve imagined. As the year continued we just grew closer and closer, we ended up going to a concert together and hanging out outside of school. In April i got very close with two other girls and subliminally pushed her away. I didn’t stop being friends with her, I just started hanging out with these other girls more. As summer neared I worried our friendship would fade as she lives in LA and we both were traveling a lot. The exact opposite happened, we talked every day and got way closer we only saw each other once which was sad but we enjoyed our day together. In the middle of the summer, I had a falling out with the two girls I mentioned earlier and I was crying in the car with my mom when we passed her mom’s house and saw her mom outside. As our moms talked she came out and hugged me and held me as I cried in her arms. At that moment I realized she was more than just another best friend she was like a sister. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love her I genuinely don’t know what I would do without her. Sometimes we make jokes about being platonic soulmates and that may or may not be true but one thing is for sure she’s my best friend. She isn’t like any other “best friend” I’ve had before and I know she’s going to read this. I was thinking about what I was gonna write my post about this week and someone said write about something you really love and other than Taylor Swift, I truly love her. This year we have almost every class together and nothing could make me more happy than spending my whole day with her.

Pc mododeolhar on Pexels.com

Summer Adventure

graypenguinLeave a comment

This summer was very fulfilling and gave me the opportunity to learn more about nature. I worked as a tour guide in the mangroves. Mangroves are a wonderful place. A mangrove is an entire tree that grows in brackish water where fresh water from the river and salt water from the ocean mix. I did not know that mangroves are good for the global environment until I worked there this summer. Mangroves can absorb about twice as much carbon dioxide as ordinary trees. However, in recent years, they have been dying due to global warming. Therefore, I decided to pick up seeds and plant them to regenerate mangroves. I also taught these activities to elementary school students as part of their education, creating an opportunity to connect the town with the environment. I also gave tours not only to Japanese but also to foreign tourists. These tours allowed me to see a world I had never seen before. I felt that being able to speak two languages would be a great weapon for me in the future. I also learned how wonderful it is to connect with people. By talking to nearly 20 new people every day, I was able to make many new discoveries. I believe that these will be great assets for me in my future life.Lastly, by canoeing every day, I was able to grow not only mentally but also in muscle.I hope that many people around the world will come to know about mangroves in the future.

pc: me

Traveling

leapingwaterLeave a comment

This summer, I traveled somewhere that I had never been before. Being in an entirely new place was incredible to me. The sites. The sounds. The people. The culture. The overall difference in atmosphere from where I usually am was a major shift for me. I absolutely loved everything. Everywhere I went, from something as simple as (i know it sounds funny) an alleyway to something major like a landmark was so amazing to see. Traveling far away from what I am familiar with was nothing short of life changing. I am so grateful for my time there, as I did not want to leave once my time had come. I hope that I can return there some day in the near future. This location truly was the most gorgeous place I have ever visited. The part of my trip that really made it special was spending time with my friend. We made so many memories together that I will cherish forever. “Home” is not always a place, but a person.

pc: me

Clara Pt. 2

graceovsLeave a comment

Clara and I met on orientation day of our junior year – she, a tanned exchange student from Brazil, and I, a nervous transfer from a school thirty minutes away. We sat next to one another in the media lab, logging into our school emails, and began to chat. “When’s your birthday?” she asked randomly, in an attempt at small talk. I told her “today.” She looked at me incredulously, decided I was joking, realized I was not, and then burst into wonderful, elated laughter. It was at this moment that I knew we were going to be friends.

Over the school year, we started to spend classes, breaks, weekends and even an entire break together. Clara saw me at my best and at my worst and loved me through it all. She was my number one cheerleader, especially when I ran for school president.

But it’s not just me and her other friends that Clara extends her love to. It’s to the unlikely people, the not reciprocating people, and the probably undeserving people that she does also. She wrote the boy that bullied her a heartfelt letter at the end of term, for example.

Clara’s love knows no bounds because she sees the beauty in everyone and everything, and it’s this that makes her so beautiful herself.

PC: Me

Clara Pt. 1

graceovsLeave a comment

My mom has always said I have the most amazing talent for choosing friends. And I might have to agree. Because my friend Clara has got to be one of the most incredible people I have ever had the privilege of knowing.

PC: Me

Clara does everything to the extreme. When happy, embarking on a hike in the Santa Barbara wilderness, she grins and belts out songs off-key. When sad, saying goodbye to her roommate, she sobs as if they will never see each other again. When anxious, writing English paper at two AM, she twists her hair into knots over and over and over again. When excited, telling a story to friends at lunch, her voice climbs and she leaps up from her chair. When afraid, having spotted a spider inside the tent, she screams like nobody’s business. And when she loves, she loves endlessly.

Writing college applications

poofypuffy2 Comments

I have been working on my applications to college, but writing essays about my identity is difficult. It is difficult to expound at length on things I don’t understand. As for my identity, I may have passions and beliefs, failures I’ve grown from, and people I’ve learned from, but the image I present of myself always seems off, because I am presenting an image of myself. I need to cast my passions, beliefs, failures, or influences in the best possible light: Here is something that did not work out for me, but look how I learned a valuable lesson! I like doing this thing, so here is how that thing impacted me in profound and meaningful ways! It feels dishonest twisting the simple hobbies I enjoy or small personal accomplishments into “selling points” but I am also grateful for this process and (mandatory) opportunity to sit down and think deeply on questions specifically designed to glean my identity and values.

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters

An open letter to my freshman self

lizlovelaughLeave a comment

Ok, this is actually so dramatic, I’m not even graduating yet.

Well, here we are – my last blog. I’ve survived my last semester as a junior, my APS are over, and summer vacation is imminent. So, I’ve had about a week to do nothing but sit around and reflect on the last three years of my life, including the lessons that I’ve learned along the way. Honestly, I’m no old wise seasoned senior sage- I probably should wait until this time next year to do this.

get your priorities straight

There are always a million things to worry about at high school. You’re trying to do well in classes, maintain a fulfilling social life, live a healthy lifestyle, participate in extracurriculars, and whatever else. There are only so many hours in the day, and simultaneously thriving in these areas is pretty much impossible (in my personal experience). When you’re being pulled in so many directions, it’s crucial that you have your priorities in order, because something always has to give. These priorities can shift from year to year, even day to day.

keep exploring

They’ll tell you that your first year is all about exploration — and they’re not wrong. You should explore academic areas and social settings that push you out of your comfort zone. However, I’d challenge you to keep that same energy throughout your entire high school experience. It’s natural to branch out in your first year, but once you get settled, it’s easy to get a little too comfortable with your routine. OVS is full of amazing classes, interesting people, and unique opportunities, and I think we all wish that we spent more time exploring in the end, so do your future self a favor and spend some time expanding your horizons.

don’t be afraid of rejection

We, humans, can do anything – anything – but the fear of rejection is so powerful that it can make us step back from life in case we get hurt. That’s completely understandable. Completely. But we miss out on so much by doing that. I believe the key to having the confidence to expand your comfort zone is realizing that rejection isn’t that bad- and it really won’t matter by tomorrow. My advice is to focus on what you’re getting out of this opportunity you are scared to take advantage of. And rejection isn’t so bad, it will hurt for like a day and ultimately, it will get you closer to your goals anyway. It’s good to be vulnerable every once in a while.

pc: https://i.pinimg.com/736x/6d/21/7c/6d217c808a5a531b222cd0b38c930d1b.jpg

Spring’s Return

lizlovelaughLeave a comment

The return of spring signals the return of many of my favorite things: the blossoming of the Magnolia tree in my backyard, the sweet smell of flowers growing in the orchards around OVS, the time change, the end of the school year, and (perhaps most importantly) the return of Junbi’s lavender honey matcha. And taking Claritin every morning…

The first day of real warm weather during the spring is always one of my favorite days of the year. People hiding from the colder weather for months suddenly reappear around Ojai as though awakened from their winter, indoor slumber. People can be scattered across Arcade Plaza, by that fountain, and in Libbey Park soaking up the good sun. 

At the risk of sounding dramatic, especially because festivals and people touring the city never really stop, life returns to Ojai.

pc: https://i.pinimg.com/564x/2e/10/4e/2e104e1d314a1f65acb13726b4c484cc.jpg