I leaned against the slippery wet rubber of my raft
drifting endlessly into bitter infinities
as the wind lashed, the cold bit, the darkness enveloped,
and the wet seeped in from all sides,
I looked across the ever changing ocean and saw that warm incandescent light
like an embers in a sea of ash
and just barely when the waves willed it
i could see into the ship that radiated your warmth
into the tiny window with a light on
into the entire world of you
writing a to-do list
Now that it is October I now feel the need to wear warm cloths, drink hot tea throughout the day, and I expect the scent of pumpkin spice to fill the air.
But we live in Southern California, where we spend the beginning of October in a wave of one hundred ten degree heat and smoke filled skies from wildfires raging across the state.
The trees don’t turn colors from that end of summer green to stunning shades of orange, red, and brown. Instead, the leaves either are scorched from the blazing heat or they simply fall to the ground with no colorful exit.
Sometimes I find myself wishing our little town of Ojai experiences all the beauties and wonders of the “typical” fall, but I then remember what fall is like in our quaint town.
Fall is going to the farmers market early on Sunday mornings and starting to see the seasonal fruit and flowers being sold change and the abundance of fresh pies made from apples and pumpkins. It is going to the grocery store and seeing big bins of pumpkins fill the sidewalk and overtake the porches of houses. It is going to the local pumpkin patch and riding on the old tractor around the corn field. It is watching the most incredible sunsets of the year.
So no, we may not have the stereotypical fall with the cold weather and shades of orange that fills the treetops, but we have our own beautiful version of it in our small Southern California town.
For the past 12 days, I have been quarantined in my room at my school. About 2 weeks after school started I decided it was better for me to return back to the U.S to take my online classes, as the time-difference from Germany was too much and I always had classes at night.
Of course, with me coming from a different country and getting in contact with a lot of people, I had to take a COVID Test and I still quarantined to be safe. Being stuck in your room for 2 weeks is more exhausting than I thought. I can only leave my room to get water and to go on runs. I am a very social person, so not being able to actually be with people and hang out with them really got to me. I decided that I didn’t just want to sit around in my room not doing anything so I started doing things that I usually didn’t have much time for.
I started playing the guitar again everyday, learning new songs, I went on daily runs, did daily workouts and concentrated a lot on studying. Quarantine is what you make out of it. I though these two weeks would be endlessly long and boring but I have found new ways to keep me busy.
I was able to work a lot on my photography, I usually don’t have much time to squeeze my photography in with having school until the afternoon and then sports, dinner, study time and then bed. But now with the extra time I had, I was able to work on my pictures and continue on my journal about animal behavior and animal tracking.
I also had daily google meet meet-ups with friends every night to study together and work on homework and SAT studies. This has now become a daily thing and we meet up every night in the google meet working together. This makes studying more fun and it helps you to stay connected during these uncertain times.
I am very happy to finally be able to get out and see people again after my quarantine but these two weeks have also taught me a lot about keeping myself busy and helped me make time for the things I love.
when the air is crisp
when there are no leaves
when it smells like pumpkin and fire
winter is the best time of year
sipping hot chocolate and watching movies
staying cozy under the blanket
seeing the snow outside
winter is by far the best time of year
going sledding with your buddies
making snowmen with your siblings
throwing snowballs at your friends
winter is like no other
it is a time for family
it is a time to relax
winter is my favorite time of year
Art Credit: Pintrest.com
They say beauty is only skin deep, but what is that supposed to mean?
Many of us find ourselves examining our features in the mirror for hours on end, or catching a glance of yourself in the mirror and feeling a wave of self conscious thoughts crowd your mind.
Why as human beings do we strive to be beautiful on the outside? Why is not having a beautiful soul or personality good enough?
I often find myself wondering if people still believe that beauty is in fact skin deep. I would much rather be adored for how I treat people, rather than for how I look physically on the outside.
If people believed beauty was in fact only skin deep, I think many of us would live a happier life. We would not care so much about how we looked or if we had the perfect body to fit in a bikini because it would not matter. In the end, none of it would really matter.
Yes, beauty is on the inside and it is skin deep, but sometimes in order to find that inner beauty you must learn to love your external self too.
Inspiration has to do with pretty much anything we do. If it is writing, drawing, dancing, cooking, playing an instrument etc. But sometimes it is hard to get inspired and we feel stuck. We sit at our desks starting a sketch or a choreography for a dance over and over again and we just get frustrated because nothing seems right. I get this feeling a lot.
After school I spend a good amount of time sitting in front of my laptop, looking through photos I have taken on my travels around the world. For me, photography is something to escape to and to relax. Going through pictures is almost like you are reliving these moments. I always think it is so overwhelming how much meaning a picture can have. I pretty much only take pictures of animals and it has grown to be my biggest passion. When I look at my pictures, and I get to look an animal straight into the eyes through a picture I have taken, it almost feels like as if I had some sort of connection to it. For a moment everything is quiet and it is just me and the animal.
Photography has its many amazing sides. You get to travel the world, see the most amazing spectacles that nature has to offer, but there is also a side to it which sometimes brings you down. I follow hundreds of other photographers on social media, and sometimes I scroll through certain accounts just thinking: wow. I wish I could capture pictures like this.
I have a bad habit of comparing myself to others and being very harsh to myself when it comes to the pictures I take. I try to find inspiration through others but in the end it just makes me feel like my pictures aren’t good enough. I have spent hours and hours trying to find a style, that when people see my photos, they know that they are from me. Every time I post something I think it is just not good enough, my pictures all look the same and they all just look flat. I get frustrated and I can’t find any inspiration or whatsoever. But this is part of the progress. Nothing is ever perfect. But there are moments, when I see a picture that I like, and it just makes me so incredibly happy and proud. And these are the moments that keep me going.
People text me telling me that my pictures inspire them. That they enjoy my work. And these are the moments that make everything so worth it. I love what I do and I am so incredibly thankful for all the amazing moments I have got to experience thanks to photography. I love sharing my work with other people, bringing people closer to our wildlife and nature, showing off the beauty and diversity our planet has to offer.
Photo taken by the author.
the men in that big wooden boat heaved against the ocean
that endless blue
through the night they rowed
moving galaxies out of the way with each successive stroke
in the middle of the boat seated parallel to the back of the outrigger
one man focussed on his brown arm and the way it seemed to work by its own volition
his bicep roared in its quiet fight against the mighty open
In the back of the boat one man fell so deep within himself that he lost track of the stars
but the boat knew the way
and right here sat a boy who simply rowed
in time
open like the ocean
in my best dreams I can fly around the world
but my favorite place to fly, is the starry night sky
full of the wonders and curiosity of the universe
it has been the place of whom i love most
when i look up i can see them and remember
the times when i was succumbed by their beauty and grace
their gentle smiling face
it is not very often that i get the chance to reminisce our past
for when i do get the chance, time fly’s by quicker than a shooting star
the stars are a most amazing place
to those who are up there in peace, i envy to a degree
to those who look up at the starry night sky
what do you see?
photo credit: wallpapercave.com
If you are under the guidance and surveillance of parents, then I’m telling you: they are really inexperienced.
All parents are parents for the first time in their lives. What do they know? From reading a book about parenting? Let’s say if they did read a book about parenting and knows how to handle you when you were born, but what if you came out to be a troublemaker that caused all kinds of bizarre situations for your poor guardians… well, now they just have to improvise a way to get you to 18.
Why are parents looking into their kids’ diaries and phones? Is taking a peek into their children’s lives that satisfying? Yes, you may not believe it, but if they love you and support you without dropping you by the orphanage, they are deadly worried about you whenever they get a chance.
I asked my mother, who raised me up all by herself for my father’s absence about the reasons for the odd actions of parents, and she told me nothing I could put on this blog. She can’t explain it either. But I know the reasons.
If life were a tortuous road to Rome, if you were destined to walk for 1000 miles to finally reach the destination, your parents would want you to walk 900 less so you could reach that goal in an easier, safer and faster manner. They want you to surpass them, want you to be better than them. (That is, if you’re not an orphan)
So walk slower, because you only walk to Rome once, and who knows how much longer you’ll have a GPS in life?
Sundays are long runs.
I usually end up doing them in the evening much later than I should. I tell myself I’m being strategical and avoiding the heat, but if that was true I would run in the morning (that RARELY happens). In reality, my procrastination and dread for long runs are the reason why my long runs happen in the evening.
Yesterday though, my run was pleasant. I never thought I’d say these words, but it was almost enjoyable.
Around 7:55 I told myself, “Bella, get up, you’re running.” I grabbed my headphones, running watch, a headlamp, and started to run.
It was cool weather.
My music was good.
It was dark to the point where I could see my shoes and three feet ahead of me, but nothing else.
I had no light to see my watch screen, so I just ran. I didn’t constantly check to see my mileage or pace, or how much time I had left: I simply just ran.
And then there were the shadows.
What I’m going to say next will sound like some philosophical bs but while I was running it totally made sense, if you’re a runner, you know that the mind starts to lose sanity after about five miles.
The newly set sun and distant street lights served as an invitation for three shadows to join me. One ran about four feet behind me, one right by my side, and one ran far in front of me.
I stared at the three shadows for a good twenty minuets because, like I said, running is a tedious thing that causes a bit of insanity, and I started to think.
I thought about my progress with running, the struggles I’ve faced with it, where I am, and where I want to be.
The shadow behind me represented where I started: my first time running without someone forcing me to do it, the first time I competed in a race, and all of the first steps I took in my running journey.
The middle shadow right next to me represented where I am now: I am not in as great of shape as I was at my peak, but I’m in better shape that when I started. I am working to improve my skills.
The shadow in front of me represents where I want to be: my goals, the times I want to achieve, races I want to compete in, and mental toughness that I want to acquire with my running.
On my evening long run, in my philosophical state, I stared ahead and placed one foot in front of the other, in a rhythmical pattern, as I chased down my running goals and the shadow that ran ahead of me.
OVS Journalism Blog 
You must be logged in to post a comment.