I’m throwing a large bowl for my mom in the ceramics room. Rory tells me to look out the window, and it’s gorgeous. After focusing on the grey room in white light for so long, looking out the window feels unreal. The hills are awash in the golden light of a sunset. It has been raining, so everything outside is at the peak of vibrancy. The scene outside looks like a filtered photo, or a postcard. And then we see a rainbow. And then another. She goes out to take pictures, and I scrape a buildup of clay off my hands before following her, oohing and ahhing at the golden hills.
Back inside the ceramics room, I work on my bowl again. A few moments later, I look outside and the hills outside are suddenly black and blue with night. I hadn’t even noticed the change, because in the classroom the bright white lights shelter us from changes outside.
It’s been raining alot recently and while I love the rain it’s been a very hard thing to live with, especially with an outdoor school. I love a good rainy day alone in my room making legos and watching movies, but the procrastination went wild. I found myself wasting time on things I knew needed to be done. I can’t seem to find the motivation either. Senioritis is kicking my behind and the rain certainly doesn’t help. I did love the alone time in my room though. The peace and quiet, how I could just be me and not have to worry about anyone else or the constant comments. I did sleep in a lot though and the motivation was lacking, but I do really love the rain.
I’m ready to graduate, but
I will miss my friends. I always think about how I’ve known these people for years and yet I won’t return again next year to another orientation day with them. We won’t make fun of all the new freshmen and reminisce on how small we used to be, but I also couldn’t handle another round of freshmen. No offense but this year was definitely the last.
I’m not a runner, but
I actually ran today and I was so proud of myself. I felt amazing the rain and wind beating against my skin. The freezing of my skin as I ran through that rain, and the constant repetition of a single phrase in the back of my head. Don’t walk! and I didn’t I made it the whole run with not a single walk. There may have been a couple of very slow running in there but I made it and I couldn’t have been prouder. My friends cheered as I finished the run the smile on their faces matched the happiness and pride I had in myself. although yesterday was an easy run so let’s see if I still feel this way next week. I don’t want to give up, my stubbornness won’t let me. I want to run with my friends and spend the last sports seasons hanging laughing and running with them. I just can’t believe it took me this long to start.
I hate lying, but
I can’t tell people they are bad at something. I feel terrible about it but I don’t want to seem bitchy about it either. I’m sorry but you are not as good as you think you are. I’m not saying I’m the best, god knows I don’t think that but I don’t act like I can. plus if you tell someone else they are bad at something it becomes a whole thing and they accuse you of jealousy or thinking you’re better, but trust me I’m the farthest thing from jealous. I don’t think I will ever be able to tell the truth when it comes to that, I’m not sure how people do it. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I don’t want you to embarrass yourself.
I want to pursue music, but
what if I’m not good enough. actually rewind I know I’m not good enough, I love singing don’t get me wrong but the music business is cutthroat you either have it or not. Do I have it? I don’t know, I feel like my friends just hype me up but paired with the section above what if they’re just lying? We will see. I couldn’t dream of living without music, but do I have what it takes. Well, I do have my father’s stubbornness so I know I’m not going down without a fight. hopefully, I make it, and these blogs are not recovered by the paparazzi.
I would love to keep writing, but it’s 12: 30 am and I’m ready to go to sleep.
I remember walking along the edge of the pier, the sound of the sea drowning out my thoughts, and the warm breeze creeping under my T-shirt. It was 3 a.m., and I turned to my friends with the question, “Is anyone thinking of going home?” I could clearly see in their eyes the answer was “no.” I remember how soft music played from the speaker. I remember, as I gazed at the endless and clear sky, seeing a shooting star. That time, I made a wish to be happy, and to this day, every time I see a shooting star, I always wish for happiness. Although I had no plans to sleep, I still put in my night retainers (back then, I never knew where I’d end up at night, so I always carried the retainers in my purse). My lisping voice, due to the discomfort in my mouth, triggered a wave of laughter among us.
Dawn gradually claimed its rights, filling the quiet waterfront with sunlight. At exactly 5 a.m. I found myself in the warm Mediterranean Sea, watching the sunrise that ignited a new day with my best friends. I vividly remember the smell of the sea that day, it was bright and fresh. The wind blew in my face while I laughed as my friends tried to drag me under the water. At that moment, there was absolutely no one around us. We were the violators of silence in the early morning of a sleepy seaside town. Only the sun could judge us for our recklessness, as it became the sole witness to our mischief. At that moment, it seemed that all that existed in the world was us, the sea, the sun, and the music playing in the background.
We climbed out of the water as the song “Show Me The Way. by Vintage Culture” played for the tenth time. In a frenzy of laughter, happiness, and impunity, we began to dance, wet and slippery, stepping on each other’s feet.
I remember how my wet hair clung to my shoulders and face, how the mosquito bites on my legs hurt. I remember the look of happiness on my best friend’s face. I remember the smell of the sea mixed with a sense of carefreeness. I remember the dawn, the most beautiful dawn I had ever seen.
At that moment, wet and happy, I did not realize that it was my last evening with my friends, the people I loved so deeply. In the morning, when I returned home tired, wet, and salty, I received an email informing me that I had been accepted into a then-unknown small school in California.
To this day, I miss the fresh smell of the sea, the warm wind, and the music from the speaker. I miss the dawn terribly. I miss being happy.
I had my first driving lesson and it was kind of discouraging. I feel like I just can’t drive. All I did was drive around a neighborhood for like an hour and a half and park a couple of times. I always feel like the car is in a different place than it actually is, which makes it hard to drive it where I want it because I never know where it really is. And I can’t remember anything about the road rules or anything from driver’s ed except not to park on a crosswalk and to stop at stop signs. I just kind of freeze up behind the wheel and can’t think straight. But actually when I drove on my own with my dad in a parking lot before the lesson I felt fine, so maybe it was just the instructor’s constant stream of passive-aggressive comments throughout the lesson that’s getting me all nervous.
It is something that everyone needs in their life; however, it’s something that I lack. To be healthy, you probably need around 8 hours of sleep, depending on how old you are, but that’s the general recommendation. There are 24 hours in each day, and there are things I want to do every day that take up this time. Firstly, school each day goes from 8:10-3:40, so that takes up around 7 hours and 30 minutes of my day!! That’s a lot, but not to worry, I have roughly 17 hours left in the day. Ok, so no biggie. I can just do everything I need at this time, right? Well, you can’t forget about sleep, right? So that’s, let’s say, another 8 hours if you’re getting the right amount. So now we are down to a whole 11 hours in the day left for me to do whatever I want, well, besides homework, which might take 30 minutes to an hour, so let’s just say I have 10 hours left. So, ten hours in the day to do what I need, which seems like enough time, right ?? I honestly have no idea how I don’t get everything I want to do done, like what takes up so much of my time ?? I can’t figure it out at all. If I go to the gym, that takes about 3 hours ( I know it’s not great time management on my part), but that still leaves me with 7 hours to do whatever I want. Am I really on my phone for that whole time?? I don’t think I am because my screen time doesn’t say it’s that much, so I really don’t know. But all this leads to me going to the gym at 10 o’clock or nine if I’m early and then leaving the gym at 1 am and then getting to sleep at 1:30 or two, which is horrible, then waking up at 7 in the morning. So I’m really not sure what to do. Maybe I should make a schedule of my day or something to help. But honestly, I just don’t know. Let me know if you have any suggestions because I’m at a loss. This ended up just being a rant, but most of my blogs are.
How come we can’t remember memories from 5 years old and younger. Is it because it went by too fast?
Why does our memory go away? Where does it go?
I hate forgetting things, I never truly forget everything. I just forget what happened but never forget how it made me feel. It is more frustrating because people ask me what they specifically said or did to me and unless there’s a powerful emotion connected to the words I only remember the feeling.
I remember the feeling of starting school in elementary. I remember the feeling of the cold wind nipping at my skin as I ran around the playground. I remember the feeling of dancing with my dad and the frustration of forgetting a word in English or Spanish. I remember the feeling of listening and singing Bruno Mars songs at the top of my lungs.
I remember the first day of freshman year, but that seems so long ago. Sophomore and junior year went by too fast. Now I’m at the end of my senior year last sports season. I might have just had my final basketball game and ended it with a buzzer beater. This month was long and this week was even longer, but something tells me it won’t stay this way.
I am so stressed. I have so much homework. I need a week to wind down and relax. I need, at the most 3, hours to get cozy and watch a movie without the ongoing stress and headache caused by school. I want to enjoy hanging out with my friends, but in the back of my mind, homework is lurking. Tears jolt down the faces of students like me. The winter weather, mixed with the massive amount of work, creates the feeling of sickness. The headaches caused by stress just make fewer chances of doing the work that is necessary. Do I get the work done? Yes. But in the end, I got 3 hours of sleep, woke up late, had no breakfast, less social life, and less time to work on self goals and interests. While I write this, I do have a headache. And I do want to go to sleep because it is 10:10 PM. But I still have notes, essays, and readings. Everyone says it’s a part of growing up, but if that’s the case, then I would rather stay the age I get to enjoy my time with friends, playing games, and running around outside.
Sadly, junior year is the most important time of my high school career and the time when I need to get my best grades and have my best academic performance; however, that is extremely difficult.
I’m definitely done with school and everything that comes with it. It is kinda expected that during your hardest time, you get your best grades, but honesty, that has just not happened even with me putting more effort into school than in previous years. I have not been able to get straight As any time in my life, and now that I have the most things going on in my life, I’m expected to get them. Like, come on, that’s not gonna happen.
On top of school, I still have things outside my current life that have a higher priority. However, when I prioritize those other things, my grades start to slip. So I’m not too sure what to do.
I can put my school life ahead of my other life, but that will hinder my mental health. Plus, school just isn’t as important to me as other things, but it’s important for my future (maybe?).
But anyway, back to the topic of the post, I definitely have the junior form of senior-itis, which is slightly different from senior-itis but I just know that my college is riding on this year, so I’m still putting in some work but trying my hardest to put in the least amount of effort and get maximum outcome.
Another way it’s similar to senior itis is that I am very ready to leave OVS. No offense to the school; I just believe I have served my time here and am ready for a little change of pace.
And watching the seniors all get ready to leave to go to college or wherever they plan on going makes it way worse. I feel like I’m picking up their readiness to leave when, in fact, I’m not close to leaving yet.
Although it is all about perspective, because it is unbelievable that I’m already nearing the end of my junior year when I was a freshman not too long ago, so maybe looking at it from another way will help out.
This isn’t something new that people haven’t heard im pretty sure everyone is feeling this. I just needed to write this down somewhere.
I could talk about romance for hours. The idea of teenage love, unexpected love, enemies to lovers, and so many more. I honestly could not pick my favorite romance movie. There are also so many different types of romance movies. There are rom coms, cheesy movies, and ones that crush your whole idea of falling in love as a whole. If I had to choose between movies like The Notebook, Dear John, 10 things I Hate About You, How to Loose a guy in 10 days, Anyone but You, Titanic, Mamma Mia, and Where the Crawdads Sing I could not pick what one was my favorite. The amount of money I would pay to rewatch any of those movies again for the first time. The feeling of watching a new romantic movie that is actually good for the first time is like the best feelings of mixed emotions. I wish there were newer movies that matched the feeling the older romance movies give. Also watching a romantic movie on a rainy day gives so much comfort.
Blogging is hard. I am now going to write about the rain because right in front of me is a large window with water droplets on it.
At one moment, I looked out the window and all I saw was white. A wooly white fog settled in the valley, blocking out the hills. It looks cold and damp, but sitting in the journalism room, typing this blog, I am neither.
Now, the fog has disappeared. I’m not sure of the science behind it. Perhaps it was tired of hanging in the air, and it fell deeper into the valley to sit on leaves and grass. Maybe the sun came, and the fog dispersed, thinning but leaving us in a perpetual but indetectable fog.
Nonetheless, the hills are a vibrant green in the absence of the fog. Whenever it rains here in the valley, the skies turn white, and the hills take up the role of vibrancy. The dusty chaparral becomes an unreal green garden, and the clay-like earth blooms into a bright brick red.
OVS Journalism Blog 
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