Category: fiction

scraping

rainbowsparklecupcake1 Comment

There is one word to describe the feeling that I’ve had all day. Scraping. my soul has been aching to claw its way out of me. I know what it wants, it wants to rip my chest open and thrust its way through the bars. My mind is filled with serrated lines shooting across the interior of my skull. I shake because I am so trapped in here. When I look in the mirror I can feel my eyes fall back into my head as they drown in the screams that shatter throughout my brain. I can not see myself. Why can’t I see myself? No matter how hard I glare at myself in the reflection I’ve trained to stay still, I can see my face morph and melt into the person I try so desperately to hide. I like to imagine my hands pulling my face as they slide across my skin, dissolving the only thing that is truly there with me at the end of each night. My skin tingles all the time, it radiates through me like small bursts of electricity stopping the beat of my heart with each one. It was supposed to be easy, “crying doesn’t make things better” I was trained for this. I was trained for this straight face and beautiful smile. Why can’t I see myself? “No one will feel sorry for you with that look on your face” I’m sorry, the tears burn their way through the gloss that shields my emotionless face. They leave scars you know, the tears, they ruin the smile. I was taught to cry only in front of a mirror, that way I can watch them disintegrate my complexion, I force myself to watch as I express the most basic human emotion and torture myself at the very same time. This is how I was taught to feel so excruciatingly uncomfortable in my very own skin.

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pc: me

Essay

graceovsLeave a comment

I’m so tired, so here’s part of my English Essay on The Crucible:

Puritan Attitudes in The Crucible

The Crucible, by Arthur Miller, is a semi-fictionalized play based on the Salem Witch Trials of the Massachusetts Bay Colony (1692-93). Salem is Puritanical, meaning they follow a strict moral code and disapprove of pleasure and luxury. Within this culture, Miller tells the story of a lustful girl, a skeptical farmer, a corrupt minister, and a village brewing with secrets and vengeance. After a strange incident in Salem’s forested outskirts, all become embroiled in a Witch hunt that proves deadly. Through well-crafted characters and other story elements, the author manages to capture the Puritan attitude of the time period. 

PC: https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMjE1MDUxMjg3Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwOTA3OTg2.V1.jpg

It is clear from the start that Salem society places an emphasis on the supernatural. Its residents see evidence of God and Satan in all aspects of life. For example, a farmer named Walcott purchases a pig from Martha Giles and blames its prompt death on otherworldly causes. “‘Now he goes to court and claims that from that day to this he cannot keep a pig alive for more than four weeks because my Martha bewitches them with her books,’” Martha’s husband explains in disbelief. Like so many other townsfolk, Walcott is unwilling to hold himself accountable for his mistakes and faults, preferring to lay the blame on witchcraft. Goody Putnam likewise finds the supernatural at the root of unfortunate events, condemning her midwives for a series of seven miscarriages. This habitual blame is wielded as a weapon, and accusations eventually lead to hangings.

Vignette

treefroggyLeave a comment

This is a vignette I wrote over the summer at a creative writing camp I attended. Enjoy.

Syracuse wound through the maze of a prison, following behind his human who led him by the reins. He kept catching Riven’s eye beside him, but neither of them dared to snuffle or neigh to each other for fear of alerting the things their humans feared to their presence. Their humans seemed anxious enough just from the quiet clacking of their hooves on the concrete.

The deformed humans in the cells stared, but were unable to vocalize in any way. The gouges and scars covering their faces were horrifying even without their monstrous, misshapen bodies, so Syracuse tried to keep his eyes anywhere but on those creepy humans. Riven’s skin twitched when something skittered behind him and brushed against his fetlocks, but he did his best to remain calm so he wouldn’t set off his human.

The ground gradually shifted from concrete, to bricks, to carpeted floor. Syracuse and Riven’s hooves were nearly silent on the carpet, and they stared up in wonder as the scenery around them changed to reveal a room bigger than their stable with gold-embellished bookshelves lining every wall from floor to ceiling. However, no matter how much they wanted to explore, their humans kept tugging at them fretfully and they ended up hurrying through the room without being able to get close enough to see a single book title.

Syracuse and Riven were led through several more halls that seemed like they were part of a residency wing of the castle. After what felt like eons to them, their humans brought them up to a massive set of oak doors.

Riven’s human stepped up and pulled one door open. Despite how immense they were, the hinges were perfectly greased and made no noise as the door swung in and flooded the dark entryway with blinding light.

Syracuse and Riven squinted into the sun as their humans took them outside. When their sensitive eyes finally adjusted, they had to stop to gaze upon the gorgeous, sprawling mountains and sheer, marble cliff sides.

Their humans pulled at the reins again, urging on the horses with clucking noises and kisses, and Syracuse and Riven reluctantly moved. They were led down a winding path, and when the road straightened out again, their humans stopped them so that they could mount.

There was no more time to admire the views once their humans were on their backs. Heels dug into their ribs as the humans nudged them into full gallops to get as far from the dreadful castle as they could.

http://www.artnet.com/artists/william-thomas-smedley/two-men-one-black-riding-horses-past-ruins-of-KFE75MMzasrvYDbMqXmYuQ2

More poetry

im6footLeave a comment

I get money

I like my Bunches of Oats with Honey

My eggs need ’em runny

The weather, it’s sunny

I drink Dasani and got one knee

Easter time, bunny

I am funny

I like candy, yummy

Dead people, mummy

All y’all my sonny

pc: readthinkwrite

Poetry, again, again.

im6footLeave a comment

I have a dog,

I walk in the fog,

Built like a pig, like a hog

This is a blog,

I have good dialogue,

In the morning I take a jog,

I love cereal, Kellogg

Barbecue, Hotdog

I jump high, names frog

Around the holidays I drink eggnog

pc: toledolibrary.org

Poetry, again

im6footLeave a comment

I lift weights

I have mates

My least favorite fruit is dates

I’m currently looking for good insurance rates

I love playing Crazy Eight’s

When my mom gets angry she throws plates

I work at the docs, carrying crates

Our future awaits;

This poem needs someone to narrates.

pc: vecteezy.com

So I’ve Been Reading Books Lately

treefroggyLeave a comment

(Spoiler warning for Song of Achilles)

So I’ve been reading books for fun for the first time in about 4 years now, and I just finished Song of Achilles.

One word: devastating.

That’s not to say it’s bad- in fact, it was one of the best books I’ve ever read. However, it was horribly sad, which is expected with Greek myths and renditions of them, since everybody dies in most myths.

A quick synopsis of the book would be “two boys fall in love then go to war and die,” but there’s so much more to the story than that. It’s exciting, sweet, sad, and heartbreaking. There’s a ton of angst in it, especially during wartime, which is honestly my favorite part. It does end with a bittersweet happy ending, though, so it’s not just emotional torment to read.

If you read the Percy Jackson books, you’ll probably love this book. I definitely recommend this book to anyone who likes Greek mythology, gay love, and angst. It’s got a ton of all three.

http://www.amazon.com%2FSong-Achilles-Bloomsbury-Modern-Classics%2Fdp%2F1408891387&psig=AOvVaw29CFHCo4eSGdPCIhGvhDZY&ust=1649951931864000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAoQjRxqFwoTCICRxo20kfcCFQAAAAAdAAAAABBT

Girls‘ Last Tour

karolineticoLeave a comment

At that time, the earth’s surface is not suitable for living anymore, so people built new cities on top of old cities and they kept stacking higher and higher. Two girls left their family and started a journey on their German half-track motorcycle, with the goal of survival and trying to reach “the top”. But they travel up to higher levels, they only found war machines and other leftovers of human activities.

Even though their findings were depressing, they did not hold the girls back. They kept looking for resources and moving forward. They even gave up their most valuable things such as the dairy and books to keep themselves alive. The girls’ desire for survival in a world full of despair is admirable.

Lastly, this is a poem by Hermann Hesse that was cited in this manga.

Out Wandering

Don’t be sad, soon comes the night,
When we watch over the faint countryside,
As the cool moon secretly laughs
And we rest hand in hand.

Don’t be sad, soon comes the time,
When we rest. Our small crosses will stand
On the bright roadside together,
And it rains and snows,
And the winds come and go.

Auf Wanderung

Sei nicht traurig, bald ist es Nacht,
Da sehn wir über dem bleichen Land
Den kühlen Mond, wie er heimlich lacht,
Und ruhen Hand in Hand.

Sei night trauig, bald kommt die Zeit,
Da haben wir Ruh. Unsre Kreuzlein stehen
Am hellen Strassenrande zu zweit,
Und es regnet un schneit,
Und die Winde kommen und gehen.

photo credit: aminoapps.com

Fate is Fatuous

jared315Leave a comment

Albert Camus, a philosopher, once said “accepting the absurdity of everything around us is one step, a necessary experience: it should not become a dead end. It arouses a revolt that can become fruitful.” Camus is stating that there is meaninglessness in life, but we must accept that fact, and despite its meaninglessness we must not become depressed. The only real answer to the newfound meaninglessness is acceptance, and with the acceptance of lack of meaning one cannot become depressed or stressed. Every situation no matter how difficult or troublesome it may seem, becomes simple. All that is necessary is to simply live, it is not a necessary reaction to feel that the task is useless or difficult, because everything is useless regardless. Camus talks about the “Myth of Sisyphus,” a greek myth in which a king is condemned to roll a rock up a hill for eternity. Every time he pushes the boulder all the way up the hill it rolls down again, forcing Sisyphus to start over once again. Camus stated that if Sisyphus simply accepted his menial task as absurd and fatuous that the task would no longer have ay level of difficulty, all that is left for Sisyphus to do is to push the rock and live his life.

photo credit: WRITE NGEOW

Isekai Anime That I Recommend

jared315Leave a comment
photo credit: facebook.com

Anime is something that represents all walks of life, from sports players to everyday salarymen, everybody has some representation in this animated world. This connection that people can make to the characters in the anime allows for a deeper viewing experience. One genre of anime known as Isekai follows a normal everyday person as they are transported into fantasy worlds with magic and magical beasts. This list will be my top 3 Isekai anime that I think everybody should watch.

Mushoku Tensei

(Picture not included because WordPress sucks)

This anime follows a shut-in boy to a new world where he is proficient in magic. This visually stunning and comedy-packed show is meant for a viewer that can resonate with the immaturity shown as well as more serious realizations that were made by the characters. This show seems to go deeper into the psychology of the protagonist Rudeus Greyrat than other Isekai’s I have watched. This interesting aspect of the show as well as the complex world and characters that are introduced create a fantastic anime, worthy of my #1 ranking for animes made in 2021.

9.3/10

Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash

The classic Isekai anime usually shows a character or a few characters transported to another world with their newfound talents and special affinities; Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash is different. Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash takes a new and unique view on the anime, with the characters facing a world of magic and monsters with a realistic sense of fear and gore. The characters in this show all wake up in a haze and are asked to join the Reverse Army, where they kill monsters and get paid. The strongest people all team up together leaving several weak and fearful men and women to make a lousy team. This team does their best to persevere in such an unforgiving world, and this unique perspective of the Isekai makes it especially intriguing. (Also most definitely not a children’s show due to the gore … and the sexual implications)

8.7/10

The Rising of the Shield Hero

The Rising of the Shield Hero is another excellent anime, falling into a similar category of Isekai as Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash. This show also takes a unique perspective of the Isekai genre where (without giving too much away) the protagonist of the show is scapegoated in a community he was summoned into supposedly as a “Hero.” This show attempts to teach a lesson to the viewer, to never give up, especially in the face of adversity. The main hero of the show has nothing to keep him going, so he relies on the power of spite to fuel himself. This oppressed man wants to prove that he is the strongest and most useful hero to spite those who deceived him into a downfall of public standing. This interesting mindset allows the hero to cut corners in some areas where others that call themselves heroes would have to tread lightly. The Rising of the Shield Hero is an incredibly unique anime that is sure to entertain most viewers.

9/10