It’s late evening of November 30th. Tomorrow, I will find out if I get the scholarship to go to college. Surprisingly to myself, I am at peace. I mean, if I get rejected, I can always apply the standard way through the common app and still qualify for many scholarships. If that does not go well either, Ventura community college has a 100% acceptance rate. If I am the reason they modified it to 99%, I can always go work in McDonald’s. If I mess that up, well, I have always fancied the idea of experiencing what it’s like being an Amish. As you can see, the possibilities are endless. Sure, not all of them offer unlimited access to hot shower, but maybe that’s for the better. And even if get accepted into one of the colleges, it does not change the fact that one day I will turn into dust and none of that is going to matter. Gotta keep things in perspective. So, I will see what happens and have some fun with the path I have to take.
Over six weeks ago, I hurt my ankle during the first play of the last flag football game of the season. The injury left me unable to perform one of the most basic human tasks – run. This meant major restrictions on much of the physical activities. For the first time in my life, I felt crippled – not able to do what I so earnestly longed to. The recovery, therefore, has been painfully long and frustrating. Not once had I placed my foot in the most unbearable way. Not once had I regretted that dire game. But my foot has healed! And now it was time to play against Newbury Park, one of the best soccer teams in the league. This was both the first official game of the season and my first game since recovering. I am playing as a middle back. The game is far from over, and every pass counts. The opposing team is rolling the ball towards our half. We are dropping back to protect the goal. The player with the ball is only 20 feet in front of me. He passes the ball to his teammate, and I intercept it. With all my strength, I kick the ball towards their goal. And drop down from the pain in my ankle. I have hurt it. Again.
Now, I’m not trying to get canceled nor reported, but I have very strong feelings about the way some teachers teach and I want to express them here. !!Disclaimer!! This is not directed toward any specific teacher or group of teachers affiliated with any particular school. Now that that’s out of the way, let me rant.
First off, one of the most annoying things on earth is when a teacher complains about the amount of work they have to grade and how difficult it is. I have a great suggestion for you! Maybe don’t assign so much work!! How do you think I felt doing it? Probably just as if not more bad than you feel now that you have to grade it. And don’t rebuttal with, “Oh, they have so many other students’ work to grade :(.” Sorry but not my problem maybe think about that when assigning such horrendous amount of work. Also, they act like I don’t have other classes’ work to do on top of the ungodly amount of horrific assignments I’m getting from their class.
Next, one thing I absolutely don’t understand at all is why teachers assign work over weekends and VACATIONS. IT’S CALLED A VACATION FOR A REASON. It’s not called, “Week Of School Where You’re Technically Not In School But Half Of Your Teachers Are Going To Assign Homework Like You Are.” Clearly it’s not called that, so what are we doing here? Also with weekends, like we for real just never get a break from doing work. ALSO, one thing that grinds my gears so so hard is when teachers give you – technically – a whole week and weekend to do something, but it’s an assignment that is entirely impossible to do during the week on top of the regular weekly spread for homework. So obviously I’m going to have to do it over the weekend, but if I complain, I just the same response of, “You had the whole week to do it.” LIKE SHUT UP I OBVIOUSLY DIDN’T.
Anyway, I guess I can end this off by ranting about teachers who don’t know how to teach. Again, not targeted toward any individual in particular, but sitting at your desk making us all watch a video of some random guy on Youtube explain the lesson is not teaching. In order to properly teach, you actually have to teach. It’s a mindblowing concept, I’m aware, but I’m sure you got it. And then, it’s the same teachers that don’t do anything the whole class and just sit there watching us get more and more confused by some random video that have the audacity to assign like 40 pages of reading or like 50 problems or something, all due the next day.
I know this was very aggressive, but I felt the need to really speak my mind in general, especially considering my last blog was so positive. As I’ve said before, thank you for listening to my Ted Talk and have a nice day.
For the first time since I came to the U.S., I am spending Thanksgiving with my friend outside of school. The thing I was looking forward to the most during this vacation was seeing my friend who graduated last year. When the holiday started, I thought it would be a bit long, as if I would have 10 days off, but now that it has started, I am surprised that it is already Friday. Friday is the deadline for this blog, which is a little depressing, but Friday and Saturday are my favorite days of the week, so I’m happy about that. To be honest, not going to school and not seeing my friends are the parts of the vacation I miss a little. This morning I went to Beverly Hills to see a friend who graduated last year. She was my roommate in my freshman year. She is very kind and has a beautiful heart. I was really looking forward to seeing her again. She usually goes to college about 5 hours away by car, so I can’t see her. We had lunch there. We had a variety of fish dishes, which were very tasty. After that, we walked around the area. There I bought a dog doll that I had been in love with for a while. I am sure I would have regretted not buying it, so I think I made the right decision. After that, we came home and made cabbage rolls. My mother’s cabbage rolls are one of her top 10 favorite homemade dishes. I couldn’t make it as well as my mother, but I was very happy that everyone liked it. After that, we watched a Korean drama while eating gelato, which I had been curious about for a long time. I was very happy to spend time with them after a long time. I hope to see her again soon.
Like the title says, I hate growing up. Losing another year but gaining one in age, one step closer to the end. You’re 18 now you get to vote, but also can get tried as an adult and go to jail. I can go to jail and be tried like an adult yet I’m still treated like a kid, I don’t understand.
One of the things I hate most about growing up is my birthday. Actually, I don’t really hate it, I guess it just never usually goes well. I stopped having parties when I was around 9 or 10 maybe earlier. After that, it just kind of became an afterthought. Something always happened at my party, that made it weird or awkward. In worse cases, people just forget. My Birthday has never really truly felt like “my day.”
One thing I do love doing is making my friends’ birthdays the best. I tell them “Happy Birthday!” every time I see them. I make sure everyone knows it’s their birthday and of course, I announce it to everyone, I love when people do that. I’ve held a couple of successful surprise parties and succeeded in distracting the birthday person long enough for others to decorate. Although I am really bad at gift-giving, and I always trust delivery companies way too much, I always remember the gift. I always try my best to make it a good day, but I don’t remember the last time I had one.
I missed out on my quinceñera which is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, because of covid. I’m turning 18, and I can’t even enjoy It because there is so much going on. The basketball game is canceled, my advisory dinner is also canceled, I can’t have a birthday dinner because no one can take me, and I have a huge audition the next day. On top of all that I have homework, a supplemental video, a story, and this blog post to write. Oh yeah and how can I forget I also have to apply to other colleges, learn my lines for the play, and practice for my audition.
Lucky for me I finished most of that early, but I’m still not very excited for my birthday. I’ve always wanted a huge surprise party, and even though I’m older and I would love money as a gift, I also love Legos. I’ve always wanted a charm bracelet, I love the Italian ones, and of course, earrings/ necklaces never hurt. Some friends remember and I love them for that. They text me early, bring or make my gifts, announce it to the school, they remember.
This birthday was okay one of the better ones actually. In no way am I calling anyone out or trying to make anyone feel bad, I just thought I’d get it all out. Anyway, I had to write about something, this made the most sense. I just hope one day I have a birthday that actually feels like one. One big celebration, maybe one day. 🙂
As I a write this blog, I am watching my favorite show ever, Gossip Girl. I have been rewatching this show for the past three years, and I haven’t been able to love a show as much as I love this one. The Gossip Girl lifestyle is literally my dream and life inspiration. Since watching the first episode, I knew that I wanted the characters lives. Freely living in a apartment on Upper East Side of New York with a closet filled with a disturbing amount of clothes sounds unreal.
One of the main characters, Blair Waldorf is who I want to become. She may come off as rude and some things she does in the show is really messed up, but honestly, she is just really real and people need to accept that. If you have an opinion why not share it? She is fine with many people not liking her because why would she want to be around people that don’t like her for who she truly is?
Everything about the show is perfect. The soundtrack fits all the episodes so well and completely sets the tone for the show. The character development throughout the all the characters and especially Chuck Bass, is actually insane. The characters clothes, houses, and parties are all so gorgeous. The holiday episodes are life altering.
I get so much hate from my family because I refuse to watch any other show, but Gossip Girl just brings me too much joy to not rewatch it for the billionth time.
I can’t believe how stressed out I am about school. My to-do list is hours long and I havent even started college research. I knew my junior year was going to be hard but I had no idea I would have this much to do. School doesn’t even feel like it’s going by slow anymore because I am so stressed out about meeting deadlines. I used to feel like I was waiting forever for school to be over each day and each year but now that I don’t have nearly enough time to get everything done. The embarrassing part is that I’m only taking one AP class. All the other juniors are taking full AP schedules and don’t act nearly as overworked as I do. I feel so stupid because maybe my homework isn’t as hard as i think and it’s just too hard for me to focus on it.
Because I always tend to write negative blogs, I figured that this week I’d try to write about something positive. So, here is my list of the best feelings in the world.
Making someone genuinely laugh, being so happy you can’t even explain it, sneezing, listening to music in the car and lip-syncing along, seeing the waiter bring your food out, looking out the window in the morning to fresh snow, laughing so hard you can’t breathe, sitting down after spending hours cleaning, when ALL your knuckles crack with relatively no pain, relaxing after being extremely productive, late night drives (bonus points if with music), taking a shower after practice, sleeping in after you deserve it, receiving unexpected gifts, climbing into clean sheets with freshly shaved legs, having really deep/ long conversations, taking your heels off, getting a good grade on an assignment you thought you did bad on, Christmas morning, holding hands with someone special, singing in the shower, cozying up when it’s cold outside, when you like your fit and you get compliments, waking up and realizing you still have a couple hours to sleep, getting told that you’re missed, screaming songs in the car with your friends, when your cats want to cuddle, being proud of something you cooked/baked, taking a photo with someone you love, when your food is hitting the exact right spots, eating ice cream while on a walk, when your notes for school look really good an aesthetic, getting lost in a book, those head scratcher things, and super duper long hugs.
I have played a plentiful amount of different types of video games in my life time. From horror games to Sims 4, I have tried out quite a few genres. However, Minecraft is my favorite. Minecraft is a game where players can do just about anything: build, go on adventures, farm, and much more. I think I first started playing Minecraft and watching other people play it on youtube around 4 years old, starting with pocket edition on my iPad mini and moving up to a computer eventually. The hours I have spent on this game in total is kind of concerning as I am now sixteen years old. I still have the same love for the game, even though I don’t always have much time to play it during the school year. I have made so many memories and gotten so much closer to my friends by playing this game. I used to be on the phone for hours talking to my friends and playing it with them during quarantine. I know its a literal video game, but it goes to show based on the amount of time I have spent playing it how it really does not get boring. You can live your own little life in a world of blocks and do just about anything you want.
Both of my ankles are hurt, I haven’t showered in 4 days, my palms are bloody, and I am freezing. I am sitting in the cold van, warmed by the rays of the dawning sun and the half-full cup of coffee in my hands. It is nearly unbelievable how joyful these plain comforts can be. Piercing the constant cold and usual discomfort, the bleaks of comfort appear heaven-like. My excitement and anticipation before every sip of coffee seems child-like. In fact, it is. The reason is – I am so dang grateful for that instant of surreal content and satisfaction. I am engulfed by state of what it seems like perfect clarity – a true understanding and love for everything in that blissful moment. That is the magic of a life free of the comforts we have chained ourselves with. A wild life of fully experienced and deeply felt moments – be that intense pain or subtle happiness.
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