My music taste fluctuates a lot, and I’m constantly finding new songs to play on repeat until I hate them. Here are the songs I’ve been playing nonstop for the past week or so.
Tend the Garden by Gang of Youths
This song has such beautiful music, and it’s pretty sad. I mean, that’s to be expected from Gang of Youths; they did also make the song Achilles Come Down. Like Achilles Come Down, it’s a narrative, and it’s sang from the perspective of a father who presumably did something horrible and won’t ever forgive himself for having to leave his children. It’s a really poetic song and there’s a good amount of fairly obscure Biblical references, so if you’re into that kind of thing, definitely give it a listen. (Or a million listens, like I’ve done.)
This song is so fun to listen to. The music is a perfect blend of upbeat and chill. Joji has such a beautiful voice, too. It’s a really sweet love song and isn’t really sad. Good to listen to if you’re just looking for good vibes.
This song is totally different from the other two, but it’s so good. It’s basically another version of Black Beatles by Rae Sremmurd. The rhymes in it are super clever. If you like artists like cupcakKe, Megan Thee Stallion, and Cardi B, you’ll probably like this song.
Those are my favorite songs right now. They definitely all have very different vibes, but I listen to all of them all the time. I hope if you check them out, you like them too!
There are moments when I find myself caught in the cross fire between my heart and my head. I often cant decided weather or not I should listen to the voices in my head telling me what to do, or my heart guiding me in in the direction of possible heart break. I want to follow the direction of my heart, but my head always stops me and poses the question of “what if”
So now when my mind is blank, the thought of the matter at hand will cross my previously calm mind. And suddenly, there’s a sense of panic that overtakes me and I feel uneasy. As if I am stuck with a decision that for one reason or another, my mind can not physically comprehend because my heart will still get in the way.
One way or another, my heart and mind play tricks on each other, but both only have the best of intensions for my own happiness. So there lies the conflict, when is it that I listen to my head, and when do I listen to my heart?
Is it worth the minor lapses of fear and judgment for potential happiness? Or is it that I should disregard both and simply try and play it safe.
Even that question is too grand to answer for myself. So I still remain to question decisions, or simply protect myself from a risk just to avoid the confusion of my heart. I consistently bombard myself with the age old question of “what if?”
But maybe someday, I will listen to the deep feelings being stirred in my heart and follow that, for it could lead me to my greatest potential happiness. Maybe I will rebut the question of “what if?” with “why not?”.
From here I see my campus from an aerial view. If I turn around, I see the backs of the display books in the library. I feel as if I am spying on my own classes, looking through the glass as if admiring a fish tank. The empty space is filled with reflections of light as the mountains project onto the classroom air. The ceiling is as busy as the ground, as the light blends the air the way water blends light.
The soft, patchy hills feel uninviting up close as the pine needles keep me seated delicately. The towering trees are no mightier than grass in the valley, as the vertical space of campus is dominated by mountains, surrounded by empty air.
The birds aren’t tied to the ground. The space is theirs, and they are free to exist on a higher plane. They have their own conversations up here. They chatter amongst each other as I do with my friends in the confines of the trees.
For this moment, I am with them. I exist on the higher plane, resisting the hour where I will return to my path on the game board of campus. The ground is vast, and I never considered my ability to break my trails. I’ve existed on this campus for years, and I’ve traced the same route each day, etching my footprints into the ground. I’ve left spaces abandoned and ignored. There are pockets in the trees where I’ve never set foot. The heart of campus is in the green leaves, though I experience life on the white concrete, referencing the trees as accessories.
From afar, these trees are the campus. Each little patch on the mountain is a three dimensional plant that stands alone. The buildings are silent amongst the loud winds that rush through the branches, and are invisible behind the deep, warm tones of nature. Before returning to my concrete trail, I will keep in mind where the life of campus resides. My existence circles the trees, and my classroom is not as tall as I once believed.
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