If I write way too many blogs now, maybe I can get to the point where I just don’t have to write any more blogs for the rest of the year.
Three things I am grateful for today
Feeling awake. I went to bed too late yesterday, because I needed to wake up early this morning. I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it but I did. I thought I would be tired and miserable today, and I am not. I actually feel very happy and awake, and I am grateful for that.
Pocky. I ate some chocolate-coconut pocky today and it was very good. I like sweet things. I don’t mean to eat a lot of sweets so often but they make me happy.
Lists. I used to not use lists, or I would try to write some down and then I wouldn’t use them. I got some to-do list sticky notes during secret snowflake and they are so helpful. I write a to-do list during school every day and consult it when I work on my homework at night. It’s gotten to the point where I feel lost when I’m trying to study without my sticky notes.
I am going to be in so much debt after college. I’ve gotten a good chunk of institutional aid, and I am still waiting on federal and state aid, but the way things are shaping up currently, I will likely be in six-figure debt at the end of my education.
That’s pretty crazy. I don’t pretend to be any kind of expert in finances or anything, but I’m pretty sure 100k is a pretty unfavorable number of anything to owe.
Do I have it better than someone else? Of course. I know there are people out there paying the full sticker price of college or going to a school that charges a lot more in tuition. I’m grateful I am in the circumstances I am in. However, I’m still going to be in a lot of debt.
How did it get to this point?
Yes, I chose to go to this school, being fairly aware of the cost.
But I mean on a larger scale. In a news report, they said that in the past, a college education had a pretty big percent chance (I don’t remember what, but it was probably 80-90 percent) of helping the graduate make more in the future. However, today, college graduates have about a 50 percent chance of doing better, just because the cost of college is so high that the debt cancels out the benefit in the job market. Isn’t that crazy? You flip a coin. If it’s heads, your college education helped you in the long run. If it’s tails, you just shot yourself in the foot (financially).
In English, we have a “March Madness” poetry bracket. I like that we are reading poetry instead of writing essays. Writing essays is fine too, but reading poetry is more enjoyable. After reading so many poems in one sitting, I’ve found a greater appreciation for poetry, because the range of poetry styles and topics is so diverse. I submitted “The Rose Family” by Robert Frost because I thought it was really cute. Another poem I really like is “My November Guest” by Robert Frost, even though I didn’t like it at first because it seemed like any other poem. Once I found an analysis of the meaning, however, I felt more appreciation for it. However, there were some other poems I also really liked. I liked reading “This is Just To Say” by William Carlos Williams, although I’m not sure how exactly poems like that qualify as poems. I don’t like descriptive poems about landscapes and things, because they feel so dry and meaningless. I like the poems that don’t make any sense because they seem more profound that way. For example, I have no idea what “They Shut Me Up in Prose” by Emily Dickinson means, but it is really enjoyable to read, and I bet it will be even better when I understand it. Also, “Masks” by Shel Silverstein is really cute and it has a good message behind it. Shel Silverstein writes a lot of nonsensical, funny poems, but there are some really good, more heartfelt poems buried among the fun ones. Even some of his silly poems, like “The Generals,” potentially have a more serious message behind them. I find it really impressive how authors of poetry and other writing have such a capacity for evoking emotion and experiences.
Golf is generally useful for many things. It is a great sport that you can continue to play even as you age for future business. I started playing golf when a family member of mine was a golfer and told me that if I couldn’t play golf during our summer vacations, he wouldn’t take me with him. I started playing golf because of that little thing, and now it is my favorite sport to play. Originally, my motivation for golf was to drive a golf cart. However, now my motivation to play golf is to score well. This year, for the first time in my life, I competed in a golf tournament. Although my score was not good, I was more honored to be able to experience it for the first time in the United States. My driver has been good lately, so I would like to improve my putter. I would like to practice more and be able to play all the holes under 100.
This is a question that I ask myself almost daily. Personally, I have been in an environment for most of my life that deems grades to be an important and necessary part of my life. I want to be successful in my life and future career. So, I have mostly believed that no matter what, as long as I get good grades, I will be fine in whatever is thrown at me in my life. However, I have never been able to get “good grades” from the school I go to standards. So, for a while, I believed that I was going to struggle in my life once I got to college and once I got into the “real world,” but I have started to change my views over these past few years. Is the reason I have started changing my views due to the fact that my grades never got up to what I see as good? There’s a chance of that, but mainly, it is because whenever I focus on school and grades, I see a trend in my overall life going in a downward trajectory, which is not the way you want it to go. I did some light research ( a Google search) and found that only half the people who get degrees were able to secure a full-time job in the field they studied, and 16 percent were unable to secure a job. The rest are all into somewhere in between either getting a part-time or switching fields fully cause they couldn’t find a job. So, back to the original question on hand: do grades matter? Well, I am going to say It depends. I know that this is the easy way out when it comes to the answer, but it all really depends on what you want to do. If I were to ask a doctor or someone aspiring to be one from their perspective, I’m sure grades impacted a large part of their life because it allowed them to pressure their passion, but if I were to ask this same question to someone who plans to do a trade, start their own business, become a pro athlete, or a job that doesn’t a full degree, then they might answer differently. Ultimately, this is about whoever is reading this perspective, and in my case, I’m the one reading, so I personally don’t believe in grades as I think it’s more important to enjoy life, and if the pursuit of grades is taken away from that, don’t pressure them.
I had field studies today. I hadn’t been on one yet, so I thought I had eluded field studies, but I was wrong. Yesterday, I got an email telling me I had field studies today. I walked down the hill to the creek today, thinking about how silly it is that we replace real classes with field studies. However, we got there and I pulled weeds for the entire time, and I really appreciated it. It was mindless work, but I enjoyed it. I would have enjoyed it more if there were no ants and strange bugs, but I worked around them. I also saw a snail! It was green. So the “wildlife” canceled out I guess, because the ants and weird bugs made it worse, but the green snail and the worms made it better. I was happy to have weeded and gotten my hands dirty instead of having a long block of English, not that English is bad but weeding is better because I really like weeding.
I like being quiet, but I don’t want to be boring.
I overthink too much about what to say and how they react after I say something.
It’s been a little worse lately but what I have noticed the most is how I don’t like being treated rudely.
Whether it be accusing me of stuff I didn’t do or mocking me. I don’t like it, and it’s even weirder because I don’t start it. Yet it always turns into an aggressive comment back to me. I usually don’t have the energy for it, and I hate how extra those comments are. What’s the point of being mean?
Now, I’m not saying I’m a saint either, but if it’s with my friends, I don’t think I’ve ever initiated the aggression. I think it may be a misunderstanding. I’m not always going to respond in a happy, bubbly tone, but that doesn’t mean I am angry. I just don’t have enough energy. I wish they were nicer.
I have noticed how off I have been, the slow decline
The days go by slower because I keep looking back. I’m afraid that as soon as I look forward and back again, I’ll already be at the end.
It’s been raining alot recently and while I love the rain it’s been a very hard thing to live with, especially with an outdoor school. I love a good rainy day alone in my room making legos and watching movies, but the procrastination went wild. I found myself wasting time on things I knew needed to be done. I can’t seem to find the motivation either. Senioritis is kicking my behind and the rain certainly doesn’t help. I did love the alone time in my room though. The peace and quiet, how I could just be me and not have to worry about anyone else or the constant comments. I did sleep in a lot though and the motivation was lacking, but I do really love the rain.
I’m ready to graduate, but
I will miss my friends. I always think about how I’ve known these people for years and yet I won’t return again next year to another orientation day with them. We won’t make fun of all the new freshmen and reminisce on how small we used to be, but I also couldn’t handle another round of freshmen. No offense but this year was definitely the last.
I’m not a runner, but
I actually ran today and I was so proud of myself. I felt amazing the rain and wind beating against my skin. The freezing of my skin as I ran through that rain, and the constant repetition of a single phrase in the back of my head. Don’t walk! and I didn’t I made it the whole run with not a single walk. There may have been a couple of very slow running in there but I made it and I couldn’t have been prouder. My friends cheered as I finished the run the smile on their faces matched the happiness and pride I had in myself. although yesterday was an easy run so let’s see if I still feel this way next week. I don’t want to give up, my stubbornness won’t let me. I want to run with my friends and spend the last sports seasons hanging laughing and running with them. I just can’t believe it took me this long to start.
I hate lying, but
I can’t tell people they are bad at something. I feel terrible about it but I don’t want to seem bitchy about it either. I’m sorry but you are not as good as you think you are. I’m not saying I’m the best, god knows I don’t think that but I don’t act like I can. plus if you tell someone else they are bad at something it becomes a whole thing and they accuse you of jealousy or thinking you’re better, but trust me I’m the farthest thing from jealous. I don’t think I will ever be able to tell the truth when it comes to that, I’m not sure how people do it. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I don’t want you to embarrass yourself.
I want to pursue music, but
what if I’m not good enough. actually rewind I know I’m not good enough, I love singing don’t get me wrong but the music business is cutthroat you either have it or not. Do I have it? I don’t know, I feel like my friends just hype me up but paired with the section above what if they’re just lying? We will see. I couldn’t dream of living without music, but do I have what it takes. Well, I do have my father’s stubbornness so I know I’m not going down without a fight. hopefully, I make it, and these blogs are not recovered by the paparazzi.
I would love to keep writing, but it’s 12: 30 am and I’m ready to go to sleep.
Around where I live, supposedly there is a large storm coming. I don’t like the rain when forced to go to school. Rainy days are meant to be spent in bed watching a movie and drinking hot cocoa. I shouldn’t need to freeze, running away from the rain and going to school. My clothes, backpack, and hair get soaked and I’m uncomfortable and upset the whole day. I think that whenever it is raining where I live, which is pretty rare, school should get cancelled. It is absolutely brutal. At my school, there is a high chance that school will be cancelled due to the rain on Monday. I board at school, but this weekend I went home, so if school gets cancelled on Monday, I will be able to stay inside warm at my own house. I only love the rain when I can admire it from inside but I hate it when I need to be outside with it.
I am so stressed. I have so much homework. I need a week to wind down and relax. I need, at the most 3, hours to get cozy and watch a movie without the ongoing stress and headache caused by school. I want to enjoy hanging out with my friends, but in the back of my mind, homework is lurking. Tears jolt down the faces of students like me. The winter weather, mixed with the massive amount of work, creates the feeling of sickness. The headaches caused by stress just make fewer chances of doing the work that is necessary. Do I get the work done? Yes. But in the end, I got 3 hours of sleep, woke up late, had no breakfast, less social life, and less time to work on self goals and interests. While I write this, I do have a headache. And I do want to go to sleep because it is 10:10 PM. But I still have notes, essays, and readings. Everyone says it’s a part of growing up, but if that’s the case, then I would rather stay the age I get to enjoy my time with friends, playing games, and running around outside.
OVS Journalism Blog 
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