I miss last school year so much when I had much more freedom. This school year, rules are much more enforced, which makes sense, but I feel like boarding school this year is a much sadder environment because of this. Last year, people were always in each other’s rooms, and we would stay up late watching movies, cooking, and dancing. My homework load was much lighter last year, but I’m determined that I would be able to still do the things we did last year even with more homework now. Currently, all I do at night is procrastinate completing my homework. I feel so much more drained and less energized now, although I would get just as much or even less sleep last year. Before, having some sense of freedom was what kept me going, but now the rules have gotten so strict that I can’t even brush my teeth past ten at night.
I recently got a plane ticket to go home for Christmas break, and I am very excited about it. I spend roughly 1/4 of the year with my family, but I still miss them very much because I have to live away from them for the other 3/4 of the year. Living away from my family in the dorms has made me appreciate them more. I would like to write a little about what I am looking forward to on my next vacation. The first thing I am looking forward to is my family’s annual tradition of visiting a shrine called Fushimi Inari in Kyoto during the year-end and New Year holidays. Also, on January 1st, the whole family gets together for Osechi, a dish that is served as a drop-off from the gods after the Japanese New Year. I like to spend time with the whole family and talk about the events of the year. I also receive New Year’s money from my family. This is one of the joys of the New Year in Japan. I also look forward to watching TV with my family and going to Hatsumode (New Year’s visit to a shrine) when the date changes from December 31 to January 1. The year-end and New Year’s holidays in Japan are a bit busy, but I look forward to spending a lot of time with my family. Secondly, I am looking forward to meeting with friends. One of my friends just got accepted to a university today and is looking forward to spending a few more months in high school. So my friend and I are planning to go on a little trip. I am also in the process of getting my driver’s license, so I am looking forward to going driving with them. Winter break is only two months away. I am most looking forward to seeing my family. I will use the winter break as motivation to study hard.
The conflict between Palestine and Israel is extremely complex, so I am approaching it from a position of humility.
I want to talk about the “savagery” vs “civilization” narrative I have seen in countless social media posts
Many have conveniently adopted the “savagery” vs “civilization” narrative. “Savagery” is when fanatics shoot people on cameras and drive half-naked, beaten women on the streets. “Civilization” is when a rocket launched by a drone levels a residential building. In the first case, the camera is going to be stained by blood, in the second one, the camera lens is far enough to not see the crushing of the heads and tearing of the limbs. The violence done by “savages” is real, evoking, close; the violence done by “civilization” is unreal, distanced, and easy to ignore. The first one is called terrorism, the second one is a long-range precision strike weapon. Terrorists cause deaths, civilization causes collateral damage. Terrorism is abominable, the strategic operations carried out by the civilization are easy to ignore. Gaza is an experiment of locking 2 million people on a tiny patch of land and forcing them into poverty, lack of basic human needs, and inability to flee. The generations raised in this chaos and destruction become an excellent recruiting base for extremist organizations like HAMAS. Searching for the right or wrong amid this war seems pointless to me. We as humanity are collectively guilty of terror like this occurring, and we as humanity are collectively responsible for creating a better future.
College applications are so much work. So many adults will go “Guess how many colleges I applied to?” and you know they’re going to say one but you ask how many and they smile and hold up one finger and say “One!” kind of smugly. It kind of sucks how so many people apply to so many schools, so that the same super qualified people get into a lot of schools and make it that much harder those of us that didn’t cure cancer or win the Olympics. Why is the whole process so extensive? It’s just so much information, writing, time, and in some cases so much money just to get a little rejection email.
This Saturday, I need to write a supplemental and a half, review and submit an application, play a volleyball game for some strange reason, and finish two paintings for a deadline in AP Art.
I can’t wait to be done. I already submitted two applications, but there are still other things like test scores and recommendation letters that I have to send. Then, for scholarship money I have to do in-person interviews out-of-state during school because they only have certain dates, but I’ll probably try because it’s for a full ride and I’m only applying to three colleges anyway.
I have never really been interested in sports, especially when I was younger. I never played a sport seriously, nor did I have any interest in watching it either. I think the reason why I overall completely avoided sports was because I felt like I couldn’t do it. I felt like every time that I tried to play sports in elementary school I just didn’t have the “skill.” This was a pretty negative way of thinking. I didn’t want to try. I didn’t have any motivation to, just because I thought I was not going to improve if I was not good at it immediately. This caused me to not branch out and try to find something I liked, which actually applied to other areas in my life involving skill as well. I simply lost motivation way too easily. When Covid hit and online school started, I hardly ever exercised. I thought sports weren’t for me. When I first joined my current school, I was nervous about all of the sports options. There were so many things that I hadn’t tried before. I heard many of the girls in my grade that were joining volleyball, and because I didn’t know what else to do, I joined it as well. When I first began to play volleyball, I was very discouraged. I started putting more effort in, and even though I was so terrible, I enjoyed it. I was excited to go to practice. I would talk to parents about it, and how happy and nervous I was to play in a real game. It is my third year playing volleyball, and although I am still in the JV team (and not good at all), I am so thankful that I first tried playing it.
Also, at the end of September, my best friend and I went to go see a baseball game that she invited me to. I have actually been to one baseball game when I was younger, but I can’t remember very much about it. My best friend first invited me to go during the summer, and we were so excited and ready for the day to come. When we arrived, just being in the environment with so many people passionate about this sport made it all the more exciting. We got into the stadium, and my best friend bought both of us matching jackets! I hadn’t even seen the baseball field yet and I was so happy. I had such an amazing time there watching the game with my best friend who made it even more special, and there was even a fireworks show afterwards. I’m really happy that I have come to appreciate not only playing sports, but watching them too.
Last night, I talked to my mom about how I used to be an academic weapon, and now I’m an academic victim. This is due to procrastination. I can make up the best excuses for not doing my homework. I used to just go on my phone, clean my room, or maybe make food. But recently, I have been getting advanced in my procrastination strategies. Now, instead of that, I will do an assignment from a different class instead of the one I need to do. I tell myself it’s not procrastinating because I’m getting work done. I actually need to stop doing this, especially with world notes, because it has caused me to do poorly on SAQs, and I also still haven’t done notes from like 2 weeks ago. Overall I’m pretty behind in all my classes, but at the end of the day, I usually get things in on time, but it’s extremely stressful. Last week we had a notebook check, and I was up till 3 a.m. doing notes. Anyway, it’s Thursday and this isn’t due until Friday so technically, I didn’t procrastinate this one.
I wish I had a soul tie. I wish I had a person who was just there for me, and I could be there for. I wish there was someone who understood how I felt when I was alone. I want to know someone better than they know themselves. I know everyone has one, but when do I find mine? I think I’m looking for this feeling of connection that doesn’t actually exist. I really don’t know what it feels like to have that, or maybe I do. Maybe I am romanticizing the idea but it doesn’t actually exist. I keep trying to look at these things on a deeper level, but what if it just isn’t that deep? I don’t ever want to convince myself of something that isn’t real, even though I want so bad for it to be real. Or maybe I should just keep being delulu.
The butterfly effect is affecting my life. One small change and my whole life is different. New doors opened. New relationships are forming. And new butterflies flutter around in my life. The feeling as if butterflies are flying around inside of me. I feel like running through an open field of happiness. Sadness fled through the field at one point but now the field has drained. New things are coming into the field of happiness. There will always be flood and downpour but sunny days come of it. My mind and me urge to find the good in everything and everyone. I found the good. The good people come to those that wait. The good memories come to those who wait. Even if this is not the peak moment in life…Live as if it was. Feel the butterflies swarming inside of you when you try new things. Let the bad occurrences in life become the butterfly effect. Let the butterfly effect lead you to the happiness. From the butterfly effect comes with loss but a gain in the end. Recently the butterflies inside of me have been overwhelmed of nerves, excitement, and stress. The nerves come from new beginnings. The excitement comes from the recurring dates with the person who makes me so happy right now. And the stress comes from the problems all around. Personally the feeling of excitement or happiness is the best butterfly feeling. The butterfly effect causes the feeling of butterflies from within.
Shin splints are a prevalent issue among athletes, caused by repetitive pressure and stress on the tibialis and the tibialis anterior tendons. This often happens when increasing the intensity of your training or if you have just begun training. Medically referred to as “medial tibial stress syndrome,” shin splints can cause symptoms like soreness, tenderness, and pain. These symptoms can mostly be treated with ice and lowering your training intensity, and trying to build up to where you want to be. However, if these symptoms are left unchecked, it can cause a stress reaction, which is a defense mechanism the body does under intense stress either physical or mental, and stress fracture in the foot, tibia, or even hip. The reason it can occur in the hip is the same reason a building will collapse if part of the support is taken out. With a weak base (the tibula in this case), then the whole structure will be weak. The hip will start compensating and having to much strain on it, causing micro fractures. These micro-fractures will often cause significantly more pain and rarely get treated due to the pain being not intense enough to go see a medical professional.
With your body undergoing your new style of training, it causes issues in your tendons and muscles but how does one fix this? Oftentimes times, the simplest treatment is the most effective for treating shin splints with ice and decreased intensity however, if your symptoms get check in with your doctor to try and fix the issue. However, it will most likely cause you to stop engaging in intense physical activities for a while.
Once again I’d like to write a letter but to you instead.
Hello reader,
Nothing guarantees you read this, but if you do, then I hope you enjoy. I’d like to begin with a question: how have the past few months been? Either the start of high school or the beginning of college, maybe even just another fall season. Have they been good? This is a question I can answer very simply with no hesitation. Terrible. From what I have gathered from my fellow classmates, they feel the same way. Our final year, and this is what it has come to so far? Senioritis has hit the senior class hard this year. The moment in time when you have 3 essays and a blog post due by 12, and you’re running around campus scaring a little kid. But they are memories I will cherish and fondly look back on while in college.
Do you think you’ve lived a good life till now? A simpler question would be, if you died right now, would you be satisfied? I’m guessing probably not, but then again, you could be. What really gives us the fulfillment we need? Being popular? Being liked? It’s all kind of dumb if you ask me. Although I do understand the pressure of needing to be liked or accepted by your peers. It’s a concept I’ve learned to loathe.
Of course, I want to be liked by my class and others, everyone does. But why? Why give people that power over you? Why give anyone power in general? That was a lot of questions thrown out there. Take your time to answer them.
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Okay, on to the next. How has your day been? What has been making you lash out? What’s been making you sad? What’s been bringing you joy? These questions seem so plain over text. How are you supposed to hear my sincerity, my intent through the text. You can’t.
Reader, if I can be totally honest, I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. All I know is I have my dream, my eternal sunset, and I’m not sure I’ll ever catch it. I tend to make life harder them it is, I think everyone does.
Anyways reader, I think I’ll leave you with a question: how do you want your life to go? I personally want to go down in history. I’ll remember this line and all of you, looking fondly at the sunset I’d finally caught.
OVS Journalism Blog 
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