Tag: college

Usually i try to write

baka228Leave a comment

Usually, I try to write about something worthwhile, about my thoughts, feelings, or events that happened to me, and which would be interesting to share. But today is not that day; today, I want to talk about all sorts of nonsense that has been on my mind lately.

47 days. After precise calculations, I realized that I have exactly 47 days left to go to school. It seems like this number should be much larger, but definitely not in my case. I am the most vivid case of senioritis you can find on planet Earth. Immediately after receiving the acceptance letter from the university I wanted, unexpectedly even to myself, I just stopped worrying about what happens at school. I am absolutely calm about not doing homework, and it doesn’t bother me much. I won’t lie, I never really liked the process of studying in an American school, and the only reason why I truly strived and learned subjects was my admission to the university; now that the goal is achieved, the motivation is completely gone. In my case, trying to find opportunities to reduce my days spent in school buildings, I discovered that some camps take away as much as 5 days! I signed up for many, which significantly reduced my time spent at school this semester. I am glad that I have very little time left until the end of school. I won’t lie, I will be the happiest person on graduation day, during the ceremony I will definitely be crying, but not out of sadness but from overwhelming happiness.

The second thing I wanted to talk about is my sleep. Lately, I’ve been having terrible problems with sleep. I wake up every hour at night, and if I’m unlucky enough to start thinking about something that bothers me, then I can’t sleep for a couple of hours simply because I can’t stop thinking. It bothers me, but I can’t do anything about it.

PC: me

Time moves faster

urmom8beanLeave a comment

Time is going by way too fast. 

How come we can’t remember memories from 5 years old and younger. Is it because it went by too fast?

Why does our memory go away? Where does it go?

I hate forgetting things, I never truly forget everything. I just forget what happened but never forget how it made me feel. It is more frustrating because people ask me what they specifically said or did to me and unless there’s a powerful emotion connected to the words I only remember the feeling.

I remember the feeling of starting school in elementary. I remember the feeling of the cold wind nipping at my skin as I ran around the playground. I remember the feeling of dancing with my dad and the frustration of forgetting a word in English or Spanish. I remember the feeling of listening and singing Bruno Mars songs at the top of my lungs.

I remember the first day of freshman year, but that seems so long ago. Sophomore and junior year went by too fast. Now I’m at the end of my senior year last sports season. I might have just had my final basketball game and ended it with a buzzer beater. This month was long and this week was even longer, but something tells me it won’t stay this way.

My final play, my final game, my last year.

Bye bye stock vector. Illustration of cartoon, people - 45256525
PC:https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=d07f85f75a168a72&q=bye+bye&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjju-Wrlo2EAxXSI0QIHXwnA9gQ0pQJegQIDBAB&biw=1440&bih=813&dpr=2#imgrc=QPJOkCUm6KLC5M

It’s becoming real.

urmom8beanLeave a comment

Basketball is coming to an end and the last sports season is approaching.

but what’s really becoming real is how I feel about people in my life. how I really feel about them, and especially how they feel about me.

Even though no one else has seen it I feel like I have changed a lot. Middle school to high school was a huge switch, and from then I kind of (pardon my French) screwed myself over.

I tried to be better in high school, and have a better experience than middle school, and freshman to sophomore year was pretty good. Junior year sucked. Now Senior year is a little bit of both.

I guess I was trying to paint a certain picture of myself and then in the end I got trapped in that same picture.

I don’t feel as energetic or enthusiastic as I was during my freshman year. I feel a lot more calm and quiet, I like the silence more. Just because I’m not screaming at the top of my lungs doesn’t mean I’m not having fun. just because I’m silent doesn’t mean I’m angry.

I love people who let me be silent KME(D). My favorite people without a doubt. they understood as soon as I did and they accepted it. Other people still don’t understand and make faces as soon as I go quiet. I just feel uncomfortable. What am I supposed to do? I can’t when it’s everyone vs 1. At least that’s what it feels like.

Music. That’s the only thing that helps in those situations. I wish I knew what to do or what to say. Personally, I wouldn’t treat my friends like that.

I wish people were more real. Instead of faking I wish they acted how they talked. The switch-up is insane. The contradiction is insane. Honestly, everything is insane.

Anyway, I guess this really is just how I see it. Maybe it is a totally different experience from the other side.

I just can’t wait to leave. I’m ready, but I’ll miss my friends. It’s all becoming too real.

New social media app BeReal is considered 'anti-Instagram'
PC:https://nypost.com/2022/10/03/new-social-media-app-bereal-is-considered-anti-instagram/

The pressure eats away at you.

urmom8beanLeave a comment

The title doesn’t lie. School seems to get harder and harder, with college, student government, and planning things for our affinity group. Although academics aren’t a lot of pressure, I sure did give myself many extracurricular things to do. Balancing everything is a lot of work. I’m pretty sure every senior can agree with that. The work is like a tapeworm. They find their way into you and eat all the nutrients you eat, and once they are done with that, they move on from you.

You’re left drained

If I’m being honest, I’m not sure what I’m writing. All I know is that I have a lot to do, but I’m not even sure where to start. I also feel like time is just moving on and I’m so busy doing everything that I’m not enjoying it. But I do have the most beautiful memories, I have some of the best people surrounding me. I’m looking forward to break but that’s also the halfway mark of my whole senior year. I also have to turn everything in for college.

Very scary stuff

I just hope I get to finish everything soon as I can finally look up and enjoy senior year.

PC:https://www.pinterest.com/pin/587086501455589819/

Gratitude and Gore

poofypuffyLeave a comment

Recently I’ve been realizing how much I have. I have everything. Right now, I feel like whatever I want to do with my life I have the means to do it. If I want to become an engineer, I can go to school for engineering. If I want to become a doctor, I can go to school and pursue a degree in that, not that I want to because med school sounds too intense and expensive for me. Also, I get really queasy. One time, this facial reconstruction surgeon showed me a bunch of before and after pictures from procedures and they were really disgusting and I passed out. In my defense, he was showing some pretty gross stuff- people with deconstructed eyeballs, two little girls who had their faces mauled by pit bulls, a girl who had a tumor in her head that made her eye stick out of her head, a man that got his scalp pulled off by a machine, a video where he pulled a nail out of a man’s face, etc. That’s a bit of a tangent but I meant that I have the privilege of being able to choose my occupation, my education, etc. I’ll obviously be in debt after college (unless I get a full ride) but I still have the privilege of going to college when so many people don’t even have the luxury of literacy. Wherever I want to go, I feel like I have the means to do it and I kind of feel guilty about how much freedom I have, because I didn’t do anything to deserve any of it. So many suffer so much and work so much harder than I do and never get the opportunities that I get, which feels so wrong. Therefore, my goal is to pay forward everything I’ve been given. 

Picture Credit: Tom Barret

College Trip

pottymouth818Leave a comment

I’m writing this blog post early because I’m leaving to go visit my sister in college tomorrow. This post is about the upcoming trip and college and it’s really all over the place 🙂

Not only am I excited to see where my sister goes to school but also because it’s where my mom went to college. My mom has always been my biggest role model so it’s intriguing to see where she lived during such a critical part of her life. I’d like to be able to picture my mom at my own age and the way she lived her life. I’ve always wished that I could meet my mom at the age I am now.

My sister recently told me that she wants me to go to the same college as her. This was an absolute shock. I questioned her reasoning and replied saying that she doesn’t even like me that much. Despite my skepticism, she stood firm backing her statement. Clearly college really does make people miss their family and reminisce about childhood. Whatever her thought process, I’m just happy that she actually wants me around or at least wants me to see a glimpse into her life.  

Teachers have always told me how much of a leap up college is from high school but I’m not convinced. Everyone I’ve talked to in college has told me that it’s exponentially better than high school. I completely and full-heartily and possibly naively believe them. My sister’s hardest class is Spanish 4 and that doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that she’s in college. Let’s just say despite my family’s many talents, not one includes being linguistically inclined. I personally feel like everything is easier when you’re doing it on your own terms, and when you are in college, everything is up to you.  

In addition to seeing my sister, I get to visit my family in Maryland who I rarely get to see and I also once again get a taste of freedom. It’s crazy to me how before coming to OVS I couldn’t care less about flying across the country but now it’s turned into something highly anticipated. Every day where I feel in control is now a blessing.

“Airplane Blue” by Tomasz%20Gaw%u0142owski/ CC0 1.0

Answering a college supplemental honestly pt. 1

poofypuffyLeave a comment

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it. (225 words or fewer)

This activity is not something that reflects some unique feature of myself, because some small pleasures in life are not that unique or special. Something I do simply for the pleasure of it is watch TV shows (or movies). I don’t have a television at home, but I do have a laptop with a good screen. I like watching TV because it allows me to turn off my brain and indulge in something unproductive, which is important now and then, I think, although I would never admit that to a college. A lot of my time is spent on school and required activities, so watching a show lets me unwind for a bit and just enjoy a little slice of my day. I never really got into extensive skincare routines or meditation or anything, so watching a show is like self-care for me.  I am not going to stretch this answer into 225 words, because this is all I have to say. Thank you for reading.

Picture Credit: Steinar Engeland

how i’ll miss you

urmom8beanLeave a comment

I told Karin I’d write this and she probably thought it was a joke but well here I am.

Karin, this is for you (and for a few select others I trust you’ll know who you are)

where to even begin, at kindergarten, where I met most of you or first to fourth grade when even more of you came. In order to save time and well not completely destroy my hands, i’ll start with freshman year. I think it was my favorite year out of all of them.

Freshman year

Whether it was volleyball, lunch, or hanging out in the music room, we were never apart. My favorite group of people who I knew would be by my side till graduation. (and they still are) We were so different yet so alike and anything we did, as long as it was together, was a guaranteed good time. Walking to class while fighting the weather, shaving our heads, or talking about controversial topics in humanities, will forever be some of my fondest memories ingrained in my head.

How I’ll miss freshman year.

I could go on and on recounting every single memory reminiscing on the easy days, but I have to save somethings for graduation.

Sophomore year

The year when the academics picked up. Harder classes, more homework, pressure, it all piled up but it wasn’t a hard beast to tame. Of course, they were still by my side, and our group simply grew. We had the best adventures and the most fun memories. Performances, Camping trips, and night swims were some of the only times I’ve laughed that hard. When we first discovered Karin and Luc’s ability to change color, or how fast he could ditch us when danger approached. I have nothing I regret, only things i’ll miss.

How I’ll miss sophomore year.

Junior year

Not my favorite. 4/10, too much drama and homework. no further comments.

I will not miss junior year. I’m glad it’s over leave it in the past fr.

Senior year

Well, its only the beginning but I know it will be great. I’ve been counting the lasts. Last orientation day, last volleyball practice, last halloween dance, i’m not ready for college. If I’m being honest I don’t think I can do it without these people. I won’t be able to laugh along with Karin’s hilariously contagious laugh, or practice music with Liz and Karin. I won’t be able to joke with Mariana or catch up with Allyanna on my way to class. I won’t be able to play on the same team as Annie or any of them for that matter. I’m not ready to leave all these people behind. I don’t want it to be the end.

How I’ll miss senior year.

To be honest it hasn’t hit yet. I notice it’s the last time we are doing these things together but the sadness isn’t hitting. I just feel like we will do it all again next year, but we won’t.

This isn’t exactly how I’d thought this would be written but here it is.

How I’ll miss high school, this, you.

Finding Closure (Saying “Goodbye”)

pc: https://www.collaborativepracticeflorida.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/winnie-the-pooh-goodbye.jpg

I have noticed

urmom8beanLeave a comment

Things I have noticed around me as of recent. I noticed how his eyes are blue at first glance but when you look closer they have the smallest tint of sage green hugging his pupil. I noticed how whenever she enters a room the whole atmosphere changes. I noticed how he always checks up on me even when i’m the older one. I’ve noticed how her beautiful blonde curly hair has honey gold locks blending in with the others. I’ve also noticed that she look magnificent in white and it pairs beautifully with her gorgeous smile. I’ve noticed how energetic he is and how he puts 110% into everything he does. I’ve noticed the JV teams and how unbelievably proud I am of them. I’ve noticed their energy, love, and laughter, on and off the court. I’ve noticed how much she grown and how beautiful she is inside and out. Ive noticed how quiet she’s been. I’ve noticed how much i’ve missed having him here, and how he will eventually leave. i’ve noticed how quick the year is going, and life wont be the same. I’ve noticed there is a chance I don’t ever see these people again, and how much i’ll miss them when they leave. Will they miss me? I’ve noticed the end of things volleyball, first quarter, and very soon Halloween. I’ve noticed the end of high school, and how I will never be with the same group of people ever again. I’ve noticed how much I love them, and how much happiness they bring to my life. I’ve noticed the importance of them in my world, and how it won’t ever be the same without them. I’ve noticed how unprepared I am to leave, even when i’ve been so ready. Ive noticed the memories, the first ever volleyball practice, humanities class, dances, and them. The people who have been with me for my whole life. The ones I grew up with, the ones I wish I could continue growing up. I’ve noticed the beautiful sunsets on to of that glorious hill. I’ve noticed how fast the years have gone. I’ve noticed how much i’ll leave behind. but also…

I’ve noticed a little piece of everything in me, that i’ll always have no matter where I go.

PC: https://www.ovs.org/campus-life/outdoors/upcoming-trips/

I am going to college!

poofypuffyLeave a comment

I have applied to three schools so far, and I don’t plan on applying to more. One is the school my dad went to. Another one is a school I toured and loved when visiting family. One sends me an admission decision in December, but two of them are rolling decision. I got an acceptance during Spudfest, and I got the acceptance to the second school today! I was tired this morning because I woke up at five, but I was wide awake after I got the acceptance. I was over the moon about it the whole day, because I’ve been imagining myself leaving home and going off to college, and now it seems like so much more of a concrete reality. The fact that one chapter of my life is ending and another will start soon is staring me in the face. That truth is now unquestionable and undeniable. I can’t wait.

Picture Credit: Steinar Engeland