Mis amigas, Te amo.

Five years of summer camp and four years of school at OVS, you make tons of friends. The great thing is that since OVS is so much fun, most people will come back and you get to see them again and again. Even when they leave, they have an impact in your life and you never forget them. I have had so many friends over the years, but the ones that have stuck with me at OVS until the end are the ones I am closet to.

If you know me, than obviously you would have to know Ali, my best friend. I have known her for 5 years and we actually met at summer camp. To be honest, I didn’t like her that much at first. Then 8th grade year, we just kind of connected and ever since then we have been inseparable. We have had our fights of course, but we just can’t be apart. As she says, “Jenna, you are my brain.” We always make jokes about how we know what the other is thinking. Some people don’t like Ali, but I don’t care. Honestly, if anyone ever tries to say anything bad about my best friend or hurts her, they might end up with a black eye. Or maybe some spiders/lizards in their bed. Just saying. Anyways, she is the greatest and funniest person ever. I can never get tired of her sense of humor.
Read More »

Finny Tales

Those of you who attend the Ojai Valley School may have heard of, or perhaps even been lucky enough to encounter, the dog Fin. Fin is no ordinary dog. He belongs to the head of the girls dorm, Ms. Megan, and it is perhaps from her that he has acquired his original qualities.

My first encounter with Fin took place the first week of school, during a dorm meeting. Ms. Megan’s sister was recalling a cautionary tale of how, one day, she was bending down in order to give him a loving cuddle, and was snapped at in the close proximity of her face. It was at this point I decided I would avoid Fin at all costs.

For those of you who don’t know, and I’m guessing the majority of you don’t, I am a dog lover. In fact, I love all animals (except insects and snakes, but let’s face it, not very many people like them either). However, the thought of being bit in the face, even if the dog is toothless, is not particularly pleasing to me.

Unfortunately, my plan to avoid what I thought was a dangerous dog did not exactly follow through. One night, which was an especially terrible night, the fire alarm in the girls dorm decided to go off an amazing three times. Now imagine the fire alarm from your high school, the nightmarish one that never stops. Then imagine yourself sleeping peacefully, only to be startled awake and pulled from your cozy bed for a fire drill. We were not happy.

The first time the alarm went off that night, there was chaos as all the girls attempted to go through two doors at once. Ms. Megan was standing off to the side in one of the hallways, ushering us along. For some reason, probably just because I was the closest one to her, she thrust Fin’s leash into my hands and told me to take him outside.

Deciding to put on a brave face, I held Fin at arms length and escorted him to the outside. Instead of ruthlessly attacking me, as I foolishly expected, Fin huddled against my legs and looked up at me with the sweetest puppy dog eyes one will ever see. Besides my two dogs back home, because well, no one can beat them. Not even Fin.

At that precise moment my resolve to avoid Fin dissolved, and I instead decided that he would be my best friend. Of course, surrounded by amazing people at school and in classes, that did not exactly happen. However, whenever I do see the wonderful dog Fin, he brightens my day.

Without even meaning to, I have become that annoying person who uses the baby voice when around animals. I promise I only do it with Fin. I won’t lie, there are a few exceptions. I also bend down and scratch his head.

When he’ll let me that is.

But the lesson contained within the ramble of this story is not that Fin is a nice dog, even though he is. The lesson is that you should make decisions about whether or not you want to be around someone based on your own experiences, not someone else’s.

This is the End

You may see a few other posts from my fellow OVS bloggers regarding our impending graduation.

What a trip it has been. I have been at OVS for six years and they have been fantastic.

Like at any other school, we bitch and moan about the problems, and there have been many. But when I look at the growth I have experienced and seen within my friends I realize what I have been given.

Going to a private boarding school as a day student can be tricky, but I have learned to play the game.

I have dealt with having a relative has my headmaster as well as having family intertwined with the school history.

My first day, the headmaster told me “I failed with your father, I failed with my son and goddammit, I’m not going to fail with you.”

Although I loath to concede anything to him, I will admit he has not failed. He has given me “character”, although the integrity may still need some work.

I should have been kicked out many, many times. I have thought about leaving even more times.

But endings change the picture. They throw out the individual memories and give you and overall feeling. I can say that the feeling I have is a positive one.

Although I am ready to leave, I appreciate what I have been given and greatly value that gift.

Coming to an End.

Bye

Whether it’s trying to escape an awkward conversation, a rambling relative or trying to leave an event, saying goodbye is always hard. The hardest goodbyes are separations, the ones that greet the end. The friends you know you will never see again, the faces you will miss and the smiles you will never share again.

As I am approaching graduation, I can’t help but to feel sad. I have said many goodbyes, through my life, and they never get any easier. In fact they probably get harder. This is because the promises with friends you make are often broken: visits never happen, fate interferes and commonalities change.

It’s just one of those things with friendships, people will always grow apart. Being from such a close-knit graduating class I hope that our relationships will remain. Still, things coming to an end are always sad.

Happy Birthday Evan!

Today, it was one of my best friend Evan’s 18th birthday. He decided to have a get-together with some of his friends at his house. After a riveting ultimate frisbee/disc golf demonstration, my friends and I got picked up and drove to Evan’s house.

His mom cooked us an excellent dinner with tri-tip, kabobs, salad, and delicious tea and lemonade. We all sat around the table and joked around, and were alternating taking turns at doubles ping-pong, which I will admit, got quite intense! There were a bunch of different teams, some of which dominated, and others which hardly got any points. But over all it was very fun, we all got some good laughs out while playing.

After Evan opened his presents and it started to get dark, we moved into the garage for a game of “water pong“. Now, water pong is basically the same as beer pong, which is a popular drinking game, but of course we played it without any alcohol. It’s a fun game to play and we had two teems of four that battled hard. There were some awesome shots made and, like the ping-pong, it got pretty intense.

We all had such a great time and I really couldn’t have asked for a better Sunday. I was sad when it was over and we all had to return to school. But, 39 more days (and believe me, I’m counting) until we graduate and spend the beginning of summer together with time to do whatever we all want! All in all, it was such a great day with friends 🙂

What a year!

It’s weird how things work sometimes. You see yourself with somebody one minute. Then, you’re with someone else the next minute.

It’s weird how this year has gone for me. I’ve made some decisions, but it’s not like I’m regretting my choices. I’ve loved every decision I’ve made this year. That’s ranging from new friends to new romantic relationships to things that happen at home to how I spend my money.

My grandfather passed away, a few friendships have died and a relationship with a particular girl has been absolutely slaughtered. With the exception of the passing of Pop-Pop, this year has been rather solid.

I have my friends, new girlfriend and family to thank for that. They stuck by me this whole year through adversity and I couldn’t be happier.

The craziest thing is….THERE’S STILL ONE MORE MONTH OF THIS!!!!!

At any rate, this was a fantastic year, yet quite confusing. There have been things that I don’t quite understand, but hopefully will soon get to realize.

Let’s finish strong and not let up just yet!!!

A New Journey.

I don’t know if it’s my personality or if it’s just the culture that I was brought up in but I always struggle to put myself out there and to meet new people. I’ve been forced to do it some many times, changing schools and immigrating to California, but still every time it’s a challenge.

It’s not that I struggle to talk. It’s just that I’m not outgoing or confident and this has really been highlighted in college situations. Although I’ll always put on the tough, brave act and get tasks done, underneath I am so fearful.

I want to meet and get to know new people but the inherent fear that they wont like often makes me restrain in many situations.

I have a common problem: I care too much about what other people think of me. Rather than putting all of me out there to get to know others I worry about all the things I will loose. In the past this has changed me, loosing myself behind: materialistic goods, clothing and friends, but now I want to go into college as me.

I guess it just takes time but from now on I am going to try and take braver, honest steps and see where these take me on my journey.

Friends

Easter Sunday

I remember up until about 5 years ago, I would always get up on Easter Sunday to my favorite breakfast, French Toast, and receive a basket that the “Easter bunny” had brought me. It was filled with all that green fake grass, colorful socks, candy, toys, and other fun things.

This year, there was an Easter egg hunt on campus. I didn’t attend, but I did think back on how much fun Easter used to be. Maybe it’s because I really love bunnies! They are just so darn cute I can’t help myself. But also, holidays were always a time that my family spent together. My dad would be off work for holidays and have free time to spend with us doing whatever we wanted.

Easter has always been a holiday that I didn’t quite understand. I mean, I know it’s a religious holiday, but my family has never been religious, yet we still celebrate it. I guess it’s just the fun of it all, having something to celebrate and an excuse to go out and do things that have become a tradition to your family.

This Sunday, I went to the farmers’ market and got coffee in town instead of participating in any traditional Easter Sunday activities. But, I really didn’t mind. I had a great time hanging out with friends. Maybe next year I will celebrate Easter again, but who knows?

Happy Easter!

Chocolate Chip Pancakes with a Side of kirbyfullyloaded.

So my wish came true!

I was able to go to the beach with an amazing friend of mine, Emmy (kirbyfullyloaded).

It was nice being able to be away from the dorms.It felt like the first time in a long time since I had been away from school related things.

Emmy’s mom is amazing. She made us breakfast everyday. In fact, this morning she made us chocolate chip pancakes and we ate them watching the high tide with the early sun.

Chocolate. Sun. Sand. Ocean. What else could a girl ask for??

Anyways, after breakfast, we both changed from our pajamas into our bathing suits (although it probably wasn’t the best idea considering my massive food baby) and ran to tan on the deck of her house. We listened to Maroon 5 together and made plans for our next weekend date! Hopefully we will be able to surf and bake a bunch of fattening goodies.

Weekends like this really let me value my friends and realize importance of spending time with good people.
Being able to stay up late with Emmy, snacking on random cookies, seaweed, and digestive wheat crackers (trust me, they taste absolutely amazing), just to keep us awake while we talked all night until the early hours of the morning was great.
Painting our nails for hours, singing along to music, critiquing singers for foibles in their voices, and not being able to wake up from staying up so late…priceless.

It lets me step back and realize how blessed I am with my friends.

Thank you Emmy for letting me stay at your house this weekend.

You are an amazing girl. Never change.

What Holds Me Together

High above, amongst the stars,

God checked his watch,

and realized it was time.

Time to make a story,

my story,

mine.

He wove together a string of trinkets,

some rusty,

some silver,

some gold,

and some of precious stones.

Of those trinkets,

there were many places.

Houses and apartments,

studios

and condominiums.

Restaurants, schools, corners and alleys.

There was a bit of Mexico.

Koreatown, too.

Some wormy grass,

and golf courses where the deer roamed at night.

And of course,

tied closely to these homes,

was my mother’s cooking,

my father’s laughter,

my sister’s pranks.

And there were my fears.

My anxieties,

all intertwined with my passions,

my soul,

and whatever else that stirs me and moves me and lifts me..

My friends and enemies,

my lovers and ex-boyfriends.

Teachers, mentors, coaches, neighbors.

Mailmen, taxi drivers, pilots, a Marine.

There was much joy.

But,

there were also tears and hardship,

loneliness and strife.

Yelling and screaming,

punching and throwing.

The threads mangled and fried.

But soon enough,

God, with his knowing hands,

his fingers so gentle,

created a piece.

And those loose threads,

they all straighten out to create

one magnificent picture.

One that is unique.

One that is me.

mine.