Lately, I have noticed that I have been struggling with doing anything. I can’t do my homework, clean, or even stay up. I am incapable of getting anything done and I am exhausted. I have so much work to catch up on and its terrifying. I have no clue whats going on in any of my classes and I don’t even know how to start catching up. There is only one month left in the school year and now is the time to lock in, but I can’t. The only thing I am able to do with my time is go on my phone and watch TV. I used to be super organized with scheduling my homework for the week but now I assume what work I have and don’t even check the school website. Because I’m already so behind on my schoolwork, I don’t even want to think about it, so less and less work is being done. This week I need to lock in and stop being so lazy.
The blogs are a once-a-week event that brings forth many emotions from those who write them.
Some can’t wait to begin another blog post to gossip about their favorite trend or share something in hopes that others will agree and validate what they are saying. Others can’t stand the weekly deadline looming over their heads, reminding them of the labor of schoolwork.
However, I think the blogs also show the power of routine and consistency. If getting an A in journalism was the ultimate goal, the blogs are the little things that push your grade forward. It might not be a majorly impactful thing like stories or the finals, but they slowly help bring your grade up, making up for any mistakes you make on the big things.
However, small things can be equally detrimental as they are helpful. When you stop doing the small things, they all add up and can affect your goal. As someone with two missing blogs, I can speak to this being very true, as it is dragging my grade down considerably, even though it was just two small things rather than two major assignments.
reguardless, I think this applies to all goals in life, as it’s the little things that you do every day that show when it counts. It can be applied to sports, such as basketball, where every practice shot you take makes the in-game shots that much easier. Or, in your relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners, all the little things add up to be often more important than the single big thing. The occasional text to your parents saying you appreciate them, a Facetime to your sibling, a small compliment to your friends, A random gift or message to your partner showing you care and appreciate them.
This isn’t saying only focus on the little things in life; rather than stressing over all the big things, take a moment and focus on the little things.
This year I had much more fun on prom maybe it was because my expectations were so low from the disappointing previous year. This year I brought my absolute best friend Kyra and we had a great time. I have been to a couple public school dances with Kyra, and I told her this was going to be nothing like those and instead much more underwhelming. After school, she came over and we began to get ready we started with our hair. I had this realization when I was looking at her through the mirror no matter the venue or the weather. I was determined to have a good night. Once we finished getting ready, we took photos and headed to school. We came to Mieke’s room and talked about where we thought the venue would be. After a long van ride, we arrived at a country club. It was super pretty, and the food was great. We all went to take sunset photos and went to the photo booth. Although there may not have been as many people as the public school dances or an afterparty it was still amazing.
This year I am not excited for prom at all. Last year I was excited but quickly was disappointed. The school hypes up Prom so much and I was bringing my friend from outside of school. I had gotten my hair and nails done. I was ready when the day came I woke up showered and headed to school after school my friends and I headed to one of our friend’s houses to get ready. Once we were ready we all took photos and drove to school. Once we all got on the buses my excitement diminished we were all smushed 3 to a seat and I began to sweat. My face and hair began to feel oily and I felt sticky. I was hoping the mood would brighten once we got to the venue, but I was wrong. The venue was a casino with no windows and the food was not great. We still made the best of the night but it didn’t live up to my expectations.
As my seventeenth year of life is approaching, I’ve been thinking a lot about of the things I’m grateful for. It’s easy to get caught up in day to day life and be so focused on what could be in the future and less about what is happening now. It’s easy to take things for granted, and it’s human nature really. Living life sort of slowly in a way helps to appreciate it better. Looking at simple things in a different light and appreciating its beauty is something that I’ve grown to make a habit of. I love so many things and I have a lot more to give for the rest of my life. I know I cannot make much of a striking difference in this world but I do know that I love. I’m grateful for having a life of health with beautiful family and friends. Social media prompts and conditions us to always wanting more. Maybe something material, or an unrealistic life that we simply just cannot lead. We have to look at what we have.
I think one of my first ever blogs was on how much I really don’t like them. I talked for a decent-sized paragraph about how they are annoying, a waste of time, and how I wish we did not have to do them. However, recently, I have had a little bit of a relapse of judgment regarding blogs. I still think it is hard sometimes to come up with a prompt. This week is an example of that, as I could think of nothing else to write about but a topic I have done before. It’s not very original also in the sense that I am writing about what I am writing, if that makes sense. Anyway, although I still feel like coming up with prompts is difficult sometimes, I am starting to enjoy the blog-writing process more. More often, ideas will come to me immediately that actually seem fun and interesting to talk about, and I don’t feel like I am forcing anything when writing about them. Additionally, I have started at least brainstorming and, most of the time, writing my blogs a week in advance. That way, they feel like less of a chore and struggle to get them submitted on time before the Friday midnight deadline. I feel like I kinda see the point of them more in the past. They are a creative outlet – a place where we can write without feeling confined to a story idea that we don’t have any interest or passion regarding. In conclusion, I have less hatred than I have had in the past on the subject of blog writing but don’t try to make me admit that out loud.
All week, every week, I wait for Friday; well, that may be kind of a lie. Every morning when I struggle to wake up, I tell myself only a. a few days from Friday. This is a never-ending cycle that I go through every weekend. I can’t miss school anymore, so there is nothing to look forward to other than spring break and summer. Even though I can’t miss school I still come late. And leave early. I do this a lot. that my advisor had to talk to me about it and I’m not allowed to come late anymore. I’m writing this. Blog on Friday, and today is the first day I stayed the entire day. I personally think I don’t miss that much school, and I’m rarely late for work, so I don’t think it’s a huge issue. It’s not like I skip and don’t do my work.
I hate almost every prom dress that I see. The ones I like are always hundreds of dollars and why would I spend that much money just for one night? I searched for hours and hours trying to find something that I didn’t find ugly. I ordered two dresses to play it safe and it came a couple of days ago. I tried both on, and both are horrible. They fit weirdly and even if I got them hemmed, they would still look ugly. Prom is next week so I had to spend fifteen dollars on shipping to get a dress that would arrive on time. It is the most basic non-looking prom dress I have ever seen but I knew that there was no way that it was going to be ugly. I just don’t understand why so many ugly prom dresses are made. At least brands should make just good basic dresses that fit flattering. Whenever I see a prom dress that I think is cute, when I examine pictures of it more, I always find something awkward or horrific about it. Finding a prom dress for almost every girl is an annoying and frustrating task and I wonder why people can’t make pretty dresses that don’t cost so much.
This year, computer mini-games have had a chokehold on me like I could never imagine. When I get into a period of time where I am obsessed with a certain game, it completely takes over my life. Some of the phases I have had this year have been with Crossy Road, Watermelon Drop, Papa’s Freezeria, Snake, Slither.io, and most importantly, 2048. The 2048 phase was actually absurd. I played an unlimited version of 2048 Cupcake and literally had a score of a million-something. I am glad I have moved on because that literally took way too much time out of my life. It was fully consuming my existence. I also really like the games on the New York Times website. Almost every single day I remember, I play the Wordle, Mini Crossword, Connections, Tiles, and the new Strands game. When I play the NYT games, I feel a little bit more productive than the other ones because, in my mind, they require a little bit more brainpower. Lastly, on my phone, I have absolutely blasted through the game Wordscapes. In about 5 days, I have gotten to level 202, and I do not plan on stopping. It has gotten so bad to the point where I am literally playing the game in my head when I am just sitting there with made-up letters and boxes. We will see in the future what my newest obsessions hold, but I hope they take up a little less of my time than the previous ones. I might relapse, though.
My childhood memories vary. I have my core memories of smiling and laughter, and I have my traumatic memories I think about and feel sad for my parents. When I went to live with my grandparents, I smiled with happiness when I got to see one of my parents for the first time in months. I like to remember the happy moments with my parents like when my dad taught me how to ride a bike which by chance we got to capture on video. Or the times I got to spend the whole days and nights with my mom. At different times my parents addictions changed in severity. My dad was doing pretty well until he wasn’t. While my mom was fighting with the pain and resistance she had towards herself she always worked hard to battle her addictions for me in the end. At times my dad was doing bad my mom would be do good and vise versa. I moved in switching with both sets of grandparents at around the age of 5. Yes, I remember the times my mom and I would paint for hours out of the day but I also remember the consistent fighting and arguing of the two young parents trying to navigate through adulthood while trying to raise a child as children. When I catch myself obsessing or being upset about something so small I find myself in reflection to what I have witnessed and felt when I was younger. I normally don’t cry about something really important like death unless I am alone but I catch myself crying over homework loads which is impractical. I think when I moved in with my grandparents I faced a lot of unkept promises. Whether I was told I would get to see my mom and then I wasn’t able to or whether my dad didn’t show up for easter and I was too sad to tell anyone why without tearing up. From the piles of unkept promises and the missing of events important to me I eventually became numb to it and felt happy that other people showed up for me. I don’t by any means resent either of my parents I am mainly proud of my mom for the accomplishments and achievements she has fulfilled for herself and me. And as for my dad I am not very close to him and I feel like both him and I have a part in that. I don’t blame my parents for being young and nieve not knowing what was coming. I don’t hold them against their addictions and confusing lives. I am grateful for my grandparents and the efforts my parents put in for me. The love they have for me and the love I have for them. Whether or not the love is direct or unconditional the love is there. My situation is different from a lot of others I am grateful that through their struggles they kept peace between everyone for me and my well being. I usually hold back when I talk about the situation or write about it just because I don’t want either of them to feel sad or like they did something wrong because if none of that happened I wouldn’t have been shaped into who I am now.
OVS Journalism Blog 
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