Reflecting

Since we have been back at school so far, a lot has happened. The first week of school consisted of meeting an incredible amount of new people from all grades, getting back into dorm-living, and and having an overwhelming amount of homework. There was a camping trip last week, and now we are just approaching the end of the second academic week. I’ve been loading my plate up a lot recently, and I’m not quite sure if its the right thing to do. However, this stressful-ish energy has been motivating, in a way. It’s exciting because it reminds me of how many opportunities that high school can provide.

However, I feel as if school has been rushing past me all too quickly. I’ve been to many schools in my life, and lived in many places. It feels sometimes as if my life is on autopilot and I cannot slow down. Only yesterday does it feel like I was scrappily coloring, eating my peanut butter and jelly sandwich that had been tossed around in my bag, and coming home begging my parents to have more time to play Minecraft. Now, I’m held up to a standard, where everything in my life is more complex.

I know, thats quite literally what growing up is about, but I feel like it has all gone by too quickly. I might never get back living in such simpler times, where the only thing to worry about was what color crayon I was going to use, but I will always appreciate and feel grateful for how those moments shaped me and led to me becoming the person who I am now, and who I will continue to become in the future.

pc: me

To my sister

You are the most important person in my life. 

Sometimes, the more you discover about a person, the less you like them. The more I discover about you, my little sister, the more I admire you. You have a capacity for kindness that I aspire to have one day. You are always there for me, whether it is to help me put away the dishes or to hug me when I cry. 

I try to comfort you too. You cry more than me, but I also cried a lot when I was nine. I think that at some point, you will find out that while your emotions and feelings and distresses are valid, some things are not worth your tears. You will find that some things are there not to knock you down but to build you up, and you will find that you are so much stronger than the things that aim to knock you down. You will find that when opinions will differ from yours, there is an opportunity to learn rather than a cause to feel hurt. You will find that when life throws difficulty at you, you are not the only one in the world who has difficulties. I don’t mean that lessens your challenges, but rather we are all, in the wise words of Mr. Alvarez, slaying dragons. Together.

However, this is not something I can tell you, I think. I think you will come to your own conclusions, in your own way, in your own mind, in your own time.

I believe in you!

Photo Credit: Kelly Sikkema

A Letter

write a letter to your younger self.

Dear ___________,

i haven’t yet made it, but hopefully I will. School just started and its already been a lot but what else did I expect, a calm year ? No, unfortunately not but then again its only the beginning. My only hope is I make it into my dream college and can pay for it.

this is the typical things I would expect in a letter maybe more personal updates but i’m not going to write those here.

To be honest i’m sure my younger self would be a little disappointed but who knows. She would be so happy if I could get into college. maybe i should re-do my letter.

hey

I haven’t gotten into college and its a lot more stressful then i thought it would be. My advice start applying to scholarships as early as you can. You’re in some trouble but hopefully we’ll be able to pull ourselves out of this mess. There is one thing I should say to you,

I’m sorry, i’m so so so sorry.

anyways thats all 185 words later

8 Pigeon Clipart Images! - The Graphics Fairy
pc: https://thegraphicsfairy.com/carrier-pigeon-image-letter/

Love

To think about love terrifies me. The scary thing about love is that you never know when it is coming or when it is about to end. To my mind the scariest fragment of love is whether I get to have the experience of loving another or another loving me. For the majority of people this is not something that is in the line of thinking on a regular basis. The ongoing want and urge to have the ideal teenage love as if we were starring in our own movie with nothing to fright because we have each other to hold on too. Immaturity gets the best of us during these situations. At this age, in this generation, the little things are considerably left unnoticed. Where has all of the innocence gone? Now we have to worry whether the person we desire has opened our snap or text message rather than opened our hand written letters sent through mail. The meaningful moments within love have simply disappeared. Do I look good enough to snap him right now? Runs through my head like a bullet. Where have the simple walks through the park retired too? Now all the meaningfulness has taken a leave. The falling asleep on accident while admiring the world’s beauty has changed, to the falling asleep watching a rated R movie with no thoughts at all. No simple conversations, just silence. The silence that comes along with the “love” of this generation is not as peaceful or calm as it once was. What happened to the innocence of painting together with the one you like while the sunsets below the mountain tops? What happened to the stargazing on a picnic blanket in a large open field? Where has the love in the world gone? And then one day you wake up and suddenly realize real love is gone and life is not like the movies. Life is not like how it was decades ago. Life has changed and love has developed into a scary step into the long road of life.

Photo Credits:Me

Traveling

This summer, I traveled somewhere that I had never been before. Being in an entirely new place was incredible to me. The sites. The sounds. The people. The culture. The overall difference in atmosphere from where I usually am was a major shift for me. I absolutely loved everything. Everywhere I went, from something as simple as (i know it sounds funny) an alleyway to something major like a landmark was so amazing to see. Traveling far away from what I am familiar with was nothing short of life changing. I am so grateful for my time there, as I did not want to leave once my time had come. I hope that I can return there some day in the near future. This location truly was the most gorgeous place I have ever visited. The part of my trip that really made it special was spending time with my friend. We made so many memories together that I will cherish forever. “Home” is not always a place, but a person.

pc: me

Fall in Love

When the leaves turn crisp, brown, and fall I know something is coming… My favorite season. The start of what seems like new beginnings. When the leaves crumble and resprout so do I. In the fall the air is fresh of cinnamon, pumpkins, and pie. The beginning of the holidays with family and friends resume once again. Pumpkin tea with a side of Gilmore Girls. Outfits become cuter as the layering begins for the fast coming winter. A cute scarf to go with the most perfect pair of ugg slippers is almost as fall as it gets. As much as I love winter(only because of christmas and my birthday) I do love fall a little extra. The thought of being cozied up in a warm delightful bed watching seasonal movies and special episodes of my favorite shows. Cooking and baking with my favorite soul, as we watch the rain pour down through the window we briskly pour the batter into the pan. Another anticipated rainy day. As the fireplace crackles and the rain patters I read the most enrapturing book. As I lay in bed thoughts flood through, thoughts of love, romanticizing, and adoration. The way a faultless fall finishes must intend falling in love.

PC: Both by me.

Imagine

Your mom.

No, I’m just kidding. On a more serious note, I really do want you to imagine something. Imagine a guy named Paul, and all Paul wants to do is follow his dreams and go to NASA Academy. NASA Academy is perfect for Paul, whose only dream is to be an astronaut. However, NASA Academy is very expensive, and Paul does not have the money. What is Paul to do? Should he give up on his dream?

Now, I’m not being too fair to Paul. Yes, there are schools that have astronomy classes, so why not just go to one of those? It’s like telling a kid you’re taking him to Dojo Boom and giving him a trampoline. Not those big ones where you can do flips, but the small ones made for 3-year-olds. You know, the ones that say on the box “3-8 years old.” Here’s a visual if you need

Fold & Go Trampoline (TM) - The Original Toy Company
PC: https://www.theoriginaltoycompany.com/59609/fold-go-trampoline-tm

Back to Paul, now it’s not necessarily the worst thing ever. Your kid gets to jump around, and Paul gets to see the stars—through a telescope… instead of flying among them. What would you tell Paul? Seriously would you look him in the eyes and tell him to jump on some small trampoline? I have to move away from the trampolines.

To make this even harder what if i told you Paul needs space to live. Not like in a literal sense but in a way that his life would be meaningless without it. You can only ever truly understand if you’ve love something so unconditionally, so purely, so passionately. I can’t expect you to understand if you’re going to college for a job. Paul is going to college to live, to give his life meaning. Who knows maybe Paul is just being difficult, dramatic, extra. I guess most dreamers are. Paul will have to choose, and thats if Nasa even accepts him. Ha! Paul hasn’t even been accepted and he’s worried about everything else. Heres another thing about Paul, he stresses too much but we all do… right?

I’ve definitely gone over the 150 word mark so I guess, Im done.

An open letter to my freshman self

Ok, this is actually so dramatic, I’m not even graduating yet.

Well, here we are – my last blog. I’ve survived my last semester as a junior, my APS are over, and summer vacation is imminent. So, I’ve had about a week to do nothing but sit around and reflect on the last three years of my life, including the lessons that I’ve learned along the way. Honestly, I’m no old wise seasoned senior sage- I probably should wait until this time next year to do this.

get your priorities straight

There are always a million things to worry about at high school. You’re trying to do well in classes, maintain a fulfilling social life, live a healthy lifestyle, participate in extracurriculars, and whatever else. There are only so many hours in the day, and simultaneously thriving in these areas is pretty much impossible (in my personal experience). When you’re being pulled in so many directions, it’s crucial that you have your priorities in order, because something always has to give. These priorities can shift from year to year, even day to day.

keep exploring

They’ll tell you that your first year is all about exploration — and they’re not wrong. You should explore academic areas and social settings that push you out of your comfort zone. However, I’d challenge you to keep that same energy throughout your entire high school experience. It’s natural to branch out in your first year, but once you get settled, it’s easy to get a little too comfortable with your routine. OVS is full of amazing classes, interesting people, and unique opportunities, and I think we all wish that we spent more time exploring in the end, so do your future self a favor and spend some time expanding your horizons.

don’t be afraid of rejection

We, humans, can do anything – anything – but the fear of rejection is so powerful that it can make us step back from life in case we get hurt. That’s completely understandable. Completely. But we miss out on so much by doing that. I believe the key to having the confidence to expand your comfort zone is realizing that rejection isn’t that bad- and it really won’t matter by tomorrow. My advice is to focus on what you’re getting out of this opportunity you are scared to take advantage of. And rejection isn’t so bad, it will hurt for like a day and ultimately, it will get you closer to your goals anyway. It’s good to be vulnerable every once in a while.

pc: https://i.pinimg.com/736x/6d/21/7c/6d217c808a5a531b222cd0b38c930d1b.jpg

Spring’s Return

The return of spring signals the return of many of my favorite things: the blossoming of the Magnolia tree in my backyard, the sweet smell of flowers growing in the orchards around OVS, the time change, the end of the school year, and (perhaps most importantly) the return of Junbi’s lavender honey matcha. And taking Claritin every morning…

The first day of real warm weather during the spring is always one of my favorite days of the year. People hiding from the colder weather for months suddenly reappear around Ojai as though awakened from their winter, indoor slumber. People can be scattered across Arcade Plaza, by that fountain, and in Libbey Park soaking up the good sun. 

At the risk of sounding dramatic, especially because festivals and people touring the city never really stop, life returns to Ojai.

pc: https://i.pinimg.com/564x/2e/10/4e/2e104e1d314a1f65acb13726b4c484cc.jpg

studying

I need to study a whole lot. This weekend is coming up and I’m so excited. Studying for exams has to be my favorite pass time ever, with a pencil, paper, and a computer I could study the rest of my life away. Personally, my favorite class to study for is math, I love memorizing all the formulas and everything in between. My favorite class is Algebra 2 and I’m soooooo good at it. I’m definitely one of the best in the United States, if not the whole world at Algebra 2. If you were to give me the hardest Algebra 2 problem in the world I would be able to solve it in sub 30 secs. Anyway, super hyped for all my ap tests and I’m definitely going to try my hardest to score a 5 on my upcoming AP Spanish exam, for some reason, they thought that I slept through my APES exam but that is a lie.

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Photo Cred: Me