The small, white envelope lay limp in my hand. A paper fringe lined the top of the envelope, standing like the dendrites of a hairy neuron, signaling the haste I had in tearing open the envelope.

By its mere size, I knew that the envelope did not hold favorable information. The only question I had was whether or not, inside was letter of rejection or a letter of a waitlist.

“Dear Serry:

It is with genuine regret that I write to inform you that the Admissions Committee is unable to offer you admission to the class entering Pomona College this fall…”

It was fine. I didn’t feel the stereotypical emotions that follow a rejection letter. Perhaps it was because I never intended to go to Pomona College. But nevertheless, it was an interesting experience.

However, this makes me worried about the upcoming notifications this week. I hear from Brown, my number one college, this week. I am scared of receiving a rejection. I don’t want to know how a true rejection, a rejection to a school that I want to go to, will feel like.

SO SCARED…to be continued.