Tag: personal

Seaside

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

In 8th grade, my friend Livia who lives in Mississippi arranged a trip after graduation to a mall town on the Gulf Coast of Florida. This town is called Seaside and it was amazing. I went back to Seaside after school got out last year. I just went with Livia, and it was amazing, but this year, I am going with the original group, and it is going to be so much fun. I literally can’t wait. Whenever I shop for summer clothes I always think about wearing those clothes in Seaside. Seaside has a lot of teens and there are gatherings at night where I have met people that I still talk to. Basically, we spend all day biking around and tanning at the beach, and then we go to dinner and, after dinner, get ready to go to the nightly beach get-together. Even though I have only been twice it feels like I know Seaside like the back of my hand.

PC:”Beach Sand” by Alexandre Perotto/ CC0 1.0

Intro to thinking about college.

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

I know the stress of college will expand as I get closer to college applications. It is only the beginning, and I am stuck in a back-and-forth comparison on whether or not colleges will think I am worthy enough. I am scared I will make the wrong decision. What if I am not qualified enough to be apart of the career I want? What if I hate the major I choose? I have known what I have wanted to be and do since middle school. I know I will make the right decision but it is so scary. What if I hate the location of where I decide to attend? What if my roommate is terrible? All of these a fears of the common student looking into colleges. I have so many questions, some have answers and some I won’t know until I get to that point in my life. What if I fall in love with a college and it matches my life long goal, but I am rejected? How will I feel? How will this impact my final decision. Currently I am stressed about what teachers write the best, who likes me the most, who knows me for who I am and will write something that matches me in the most authentic way. Any slip in my studying and I can mess up everything. Not enough community service and I won’t be an option next to another applicant. What colleges will I feel safe at? What is the crime rate in this area? My stress levels rise as I see the crime rates of an area I felt so safe in. I turn around and feel the shivers, will I be safe without my family around me? Will I even want my family close to me? Do I want to experience something new, something out of my comfort zone? I feel so young, but I am so close to adulthood. The steps to college are scary and stressful. I have so many doubts but I am so excited. I can’t wait to leave the town I live in and experience something purely for me. So many fears to face, but so many opportunities elsewhere. I know I am ready, but the fear inside of me is holding me back. How do I block out the voice in my head telling me I won’t make it. How do I remember to focus on the voice telling me about the amazing life I want for myself and the things I want to create with that? I know I am not the only one thinking about these topics, and I know I won’t be the last. The application process is a repetitive cycle of teenages wondering if we are capable of what we want for ourselves, but what we make of the process is what will determine the future we will have.

Summer

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

Summer is so close yet it feels so far. I am writing this blog on April 22 and there is only 26 more school days. until summer. At my school, we have a six-day rotating schedule and there is only 3 more cycles which means there are only 3 more long blocks of each class. It is sad how much that motivates me I hate long blocks sitting in the same class for 85 minutes gets very boring very quickly. I have a very short attention span and I get bored very easily. Anyway back to the point, I can not wait for summer basically a week after I get out for summer I am going to Florida with some of my friends. I’m beyond excited about that and after that trip, I’ll be home for a few weeks. In early July I’m going to Europe for a month to see the Olympics and visit my step moms daily in Tuscany.

PC:”Rome Italy” by Travel Coffee Book/ CC0 1.0

FruitFruitFruit

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

I love fruit so much. I love that after a dip in the pool on a hot summer day, I get to take a bite of the freshest ice, cold piece of fruit. Fruit is just like amazing. You can make fruit into anything basically. You could make fruit a snack, a dessert, a drink, and literally so much more. I don’t think people understand the perfection that comes from one fruit. Fruit is honestly the food of happiness, think, fruit is colorful and juicy with a great taste. The only thing I cant decide on is what kind of fruit is my favorite. I really love watermelon, but then I think about a strawberry, and like OMG mangos at the perfect ripeness is like the best gift a person could ask for. I remember this one time when I was in Mexico, on a vacation, I would eat at least 8 mangos a day. The fact of the matter is fruit is the best and everyone should love it! Also fruit is so healthy for you!

PC:Me

Lazy

uwucutiepatootieLeave a comment

Lately, I have noticed that I have been struggling with doing anything. I can’t do my homework, clean, or even stay up. I am incapable of getting anything done and I am exhausted. I have so much work to catch up on and its terrifying. I have no clue whats going on in any of my classes and I don’t even know how to start catching up. There is only one month left in the school year and now is the time to lock in, but I can’t. The only thing I am able to do with my time is go on my phone and watch TV. I used to be super organized with scheduling my homework for the week but now I assume what work I have and don’t even check the school website. Because I’m already so behind on my schoolwork, I don’t even want to think about it, so less and less work is being done. This week I need to lock in and stop being so lazy.

“Sleeping Bed” by elizabeth lies/ CC0 1.0

Even if it’s hard.

urmom8beanLeave a comment

You have to keep going even if it’s hard.

You have to push through. Finish school and get into college. Everyone talks about how hard Senior year is but I never imagined it would be this hard. I’ve had plenty of juniors and underclassmen telling me they have “senioritis”, and I remember saying the exact same thing when I was their age. Now I know how terribly wrong I was.

It’s F****** hard (please excuse my language)

I don’t know if this is just me, but everything is hard. Getting up, god it’s so hard not to take a sick day every day. Getting ready, doing skin care, taking care of myself, and even getting dressed comes with its daily sighs.

The hardest thing to do is work. I open the document it’s up on my computer, and stays that way from 7 to 1-2 in the morning. That is when the crisis begins It is 1 am already late so I just go to sleep, but I haven’t done anything so I should work and get a little done at least. Eventually between the worrying, overthinking, and the guilt I pass out around 3-4 feeling super guilty for not doing anything and not going to bed earlier. The next thing I know I’m 3 blog posts, 1 essay, and a whole bunch of emails behind. Luckily I’m not the only one not doing anything and I think the teachers understand to a certain extent.

It’s hard but I have to keep going, meaning I can’t stop now, meaning I have to do it. I will do it no matter what. Because no matter how hard it is I only have 4 more weeks left of my senior year. 4 more weeks left with my best friends, 4 more weeks of struggle. I can do it I have to for him. DEP SSP te amo<3

The Magic of the Hummingbird – Spiritus Arcanum
PC: https://spiritusarcanum.com/blogs/news/the-magic-of-the-hummingbird

You have to have faith,

urmom8beanLeave a comment

I don’t know what I believe. My family is catholic and my mother is SUPER religious so I’ve always had something to believe in. In reality, I’ve always struggled with faith. I believe in heaven I guess but it’s hard to believe something you can’t truly know about.

I have faith but lately, I’ve been struggling with it. People tell me what they believe is true but how would they know. Apparently people are visited by spirits and those spirits tell the they are okay and not hurting anymore but how am I supposed to believe that?

I really want to believe but how can I?

you have to have faith everything will go alright, but it didn’t. I had faith and in the end it betrayed me. The faith I had was lost because no matter how much faith I had in the end it didn’t change anything. how am I supposed to have faith when the one thing I had faith in isn’t here anymore?

this is very depressing but I’m not sure anyone really reads these anyway.

Growing in Faith: Building A Stronger Connection with God
PC: https://www.globaldisciples.ca/blog/growing-in-faith/

Prom 24′

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

This year I had much more fun on prom maybe it was because my expectations were so low from the disappointing previous year. This year I brought my absolute best friend Kyra and we had a great time. I have been to a couple public school dances with Kyra, and I told her this was going to be nothing like those and instead much more underwhelming. After school, she came over and we began to get ready we started with our hair. I had this realization when I was looking at her through the mirror no matter the venue or the weather. I was determined to have a good night. Once we finished getting ready, we took photos and headed to school. We came to Mieke’s room and talked about where we thought the venue would be. After a long van ride, we arrived at a country club. It was super pretty, and the food was great. We all went to take sunset photos and went to the photo booth. Although there may not have been as many people as the public school dances or an afterparty it was still amazing.

PC:”OCHS PROM 2022Photography Grant PauliApril“/ CC0 1.0

Prom

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This year I am not excited for prom at all. Last year I was excited but quickly was disappointed. The school hypes up Prom so much and I was bringing my friend from outside of school. I had gotten my hair and nails done. I was ready when the day came I woke up showered and headed to school after school my friends and I headed to one of our friend’s houses to get ready. Once we were ready we all took photos and drove to school. Once we all got on the buses my excitement diminished we were all smushed 3 to a seat and I began to sweat. My face and hair began to feel oily and I felt sticky. I was hoping the mood would brighten once we got to the venue, but I was wrong. The venue was a casino with no windows and the food was not great. We still made the best of the night but it didn’t live up to my expectations.

“PC:OCHS PROM 2022Photography Grant PauliApril“/ CC0 1.0

Friday

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All week, every week, I wait for Friday; well, that may be kind of a lie. Every morning when I struggle to wake up, I tell myself only a. a few days from Friday. This is a never-ending cycle that I go through every weekend. I can’t miss school anymore, so there is nothing to look forward to other than spring break and summer. Even though I can’t miss school I still come late. And leave early. I do this a lot. that my advisor had to talk to me about it and I’m not allowed to come late anymore. I’m writing this. Blog on Friday, and today is the first day I stayed the entire day. I personally think I don’t miss that much school, and I’m rarely late for work, so I don’t think it’s a huge issue. It’s not like I skip and don’t do my work.

PC:”School Books” by Krzysztof%20Puszczy%u0144ski/ CC0 1.0