Tag: school

Finals

uwucutiepatootieLeave a comment

Finals begin this Friday and I’m terrified. I can’t believe that the school year is coming to an end and I’m not prepared for any of my exams. This semester has felt so intense and finals aren’t necessary. I’m happy where my grades are and don’t want my finals to mess it up. Knowing myself, I probaly won’t spend a long time studying just because I’m already so fed up with school work. My first final is chemistry which is terrifying because I’m horrible at it. Luckily, I have one side of paper to use as a cheat sheet on the test, which will help a lot. I feel confident about my english final because half of it is vocab that I already know and the other half is two essays about a book which we can have during the test. I am terrified for my math final because I have been struggling all year. Once again, I am allowed a full page cheat sheet for math so it will be a lot easier. I’m hoping that my finals go well and don’t make a huge change on my grade.

pc https://ovsjournalists.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/06d5f-file.jpg

What Is on my poor mind?

baka228Leave a comment

I only realized last night that I’m truly graduating from school. All this time, it seemed like some kind of joke, and that next year would be just the same as the last. However, at one in the morning on Thursday, I suddenly understood that it wasn’t true and that I would never be a schoolgirl again. This realization shocked me deeply, and I cried until 3 a.m. How did it happen that 12 years of my life flew by so unnoticed? And if these 12 years flew by like one day, does that mean my whole life will pass just as quickly?

In the last two weeks, everything more or less stable in my life over the past few years has ended. The video game I’ve been playing since I was 12 ended. This silly game served as a marker of stability in my chaotic life, and it ended right after my 18th birthday, how ironic, isn’t it? What seemed to be a childish amusement that gave me a sense of comfort for years ended the moment I turned 18. By the way, yes, I’m now 18 years old, and that has also been a factor in my moral decay these last few weeks. I CAN’T ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I AM NOW AN ADULT WHO NO LONGER HAS A FAVORITE TOY AND WHO IS NO LONGER IN SCHOOL. It’s a terrible feeling to know that all the comfort and the circle of acquaintances I’ve created for myself in another country, day by day for years trying to keep everything stable, will soon collapse like a house of cards and I will have to create it all over again. In short, I am frustrated and don’t know what to do about it.

pc https://i.pinimg.com/564x/87/fa/af/87faaf37636be70e6a5ca232d0a65755.jpg

What?

baka228Leave a comment


This might be the most serious blog post I’ve ever written. There are a few things in my life that I always pay attention to. I notice a person’s hair when I’m talking to them, I observe the nature/architecture around me, but what has always caught my attention the most are the circular patterns of life.

Minute by minute, hour by hour, day turns into night and night into day, months follow one another, spring always becomes summer, and so on. Just as in the natural cycles, our lives are filled with them. New life will inevitably find death, setting the wheel of Samsara in motion again, just as dawn always turns to dusk. Even in the behavior of my body, I see these patterns. As a woman, I cannot overlook the circular patterns of my body. I find circles in my mental behavior as well. I carefully track my tendencies and have come to the conclusion that I constantly go through cycles of healing and self-destruction. These patterns are ridiculously obvious. I tear myself down, dropping to the lowest point, then find salvation in this darkness, and then I start again, licking my wounds and healing. I’m currently in a phase of recovery; it took me a long time to get out of a depressive phase, but I’ve clearly traced this pattern. Similarly, in terms of movement and travel, I see these patterns. Periods of stagnation are replaced by times of frantic movement when I’m too busy to wash up before bed and fall asleep from exhaustion.

All these coincidences are funny and seemingly insignificant on their own, but when they come together and form a circular picture, repeating previous patterns, it becomes interesting. Finding circular patterns in anything is one of my biggest life fascinations, and every time I discover a new one, I become more convinced of my theory that everything in this life is cyclical.

pc https://i.pinimg.com/564x/5c/16/68/5c16685136ac0858b023d89800f092e5.jpg

PSAT

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

The PSAT was so stressful as I have mentioned before I am not a good test taker and the format of the PSAT scares me. The questions start off the same and depending on if you get them correct they either get easier or harder. There are two sections math and reading, the reading is first and the math follows after that. I was doing fine during the reading section I got a little bored and sometimes just picked random answers because I didn’t want to read anymore. The math section was so hard and my questions started getting so easy I knew I was cooked. I recently got my score back and keep in mind the test is graded out of 1600 and I got a 1000 so goodnight. Each of the sections are graded out of 760 on my English I got a 540 which is ok. On math just like I predicted I got cooked and got a 460. Genuinely terrified to take the Sat and I hope I go to a test-optional school because my scores are so bad it’s not even funny.

PC:”Student School” by Tamarcus Brown/ CC0 1.0

dang

leapingwaterLeave a comment

The end is nearing to junior year and I could not be more stressed. I’m honestly staying afloat because thinking about summer makes me want to keep pushing through. I’m going to be a senior which is wild. This school year has been so eventful. I’m really hoping that next year will be much easier because I don’t know if I can handle another year of stress lol. I’m trying to not have as many things on my plate, for example: I am not doing student council next year, I’ve chose easier classes, and I’m praying that my new math teacher can actually help me despite my slow brain. Although its been tough during some parts of high school, I am so happy that this past year has taught me so many personal lessons. I love my friends and I couldn’t get through it without them. Just one more AP exam to go though! 🙏

pc:https://www.hindustantimes.com/ht-img/img/2023/06/07/1600×900/best_friends_thumb_1686119145871_1686119157973.jpg

I can’t do anymore school work

uwucutiepatootieLeave a comment

All school year, doing my school work has been a difficult task for me to complete, but I always got my work in on time. Over the past month of school, I have become so delusional and I tell myself that I will do my homework all night, but once I’m tired, I tell myself that peace and self-care matter much more than doing my work. I still end up going to bed late every night because I tell myself that I will just do my homework later in the night. All of these assignments are catching up to me as the school year ends and I’m honestly just ready to end the school year now. Some of my teachers haven’t put my assignments into the gradebook so I don’t even know how much work I’m missing and it’s terrifying. I want to end the school year with good years but I am having so much trouble with getting myself to care about school. All I want is for it to be summer so I can sleep all day and not have to worry about my schoolwork constantly.

“School Books” by Krzysztof%20Puszczy%u0144ski/ CC0 1.0

Camping

uwucutiepatootieLeave a comment

I went on a camping trip and the whole experience was very upsetting. It was my first backpacking trip and my trip was supposed to be from Wednesday to Friday. We left Wednesday morning and made it to the beginning of the trail. I assumed the hike to the campsite would take about an hour and a half. Twenty minutes into the walk, my shoes were completely wet because we had to walk through four rivers with our heavy backpacks. Then, I face-planted two times in two minutes, so I was already injured and filthy. It was boiling and I was losing circulation in my arms because of my bag’s weight. There were so many bugs and I got so many bites. After about five hours, we finally made it to our campsite. It was still so hot and I was exhausted. The next day, we had a little breakfast and then went on a quick walk to a river. We stayed there basically all day and once we came back to our campsite we noticed that there was a forest fire smell. Twenty minutes later, the teachers on our camping trip told us that we had to leave because there was a fire. Quickly, all of us had to pack up our stuff and we left the campsite by 5:30. We were terrified that we weren’t going to leave the trail until 10:30 because it took us five hours to the day before. We walked fast and made it by 7:30. Once I got back to my dorm room, I was exhausted and so drained. My body had bruises, mosquito bites, and cuts. This camping trip was an extremely draining experience and I’m so glad that it’s over.

“Tent Camping” by Ben Duchac/ CC0 1.0

46

baka228Leave a comment

Usually, I try to write about something worthwhile, about my thoughts, feelings, or events that happened to me, and which would be interesting to share. But today is not that day, today, I want to talk about all sorts of nonsense that has been on my mind lately.

46 days. After precise calculations, I realized that I have exactly 46 days left to go to school. It seems like this number should be much larger, but definitely not in my case. I am the most vivid case of senioritis you can find on planet Earth. Immediately after receiving the acceptance letter from the university I wanted, unexpectedly even to myself, I just stopped worrying about what happens at school. I am absolutely calm about not doing homework, and it doesn’t bother me much. I won’t lie, I never really liked the process of studying in an American school, and the only reason why I truly strived and learned subjects was my admission to the university; now that the goal is achieved, the motivation is completely gone. In my case, trying to find opportunities to reduce my days spent in school buildings, I discovered that some camps take away as much as 5 days! I signed up for many, which significantly reduced my time spent at school this semester. I am glad that I have very little time left until the end of school. I won’t lie, I will be the happiest person on graduation day, during the ceremony I will definitely be crying, but not out of sadness but from overwhelming happiness.

The second thing I wanted to talk about is my sleep. Lately, I’ve been having terrible problems with sleep. I wake up every hour at night, and if I’m unlucky enough to start thinking about something that bothers me, then I can’t sleep for a couple of hours simply because I can’t stop thinking. It bothers me, but I can’t do anything about it.

pc: https://i.pinimg.com/736x/b4/1a/31/b41a319f9761af679eb450755ec3bb16.jpg

Change

progstenLeave a comment

It’s that time of year again when school is coming to a close. For some, this is something to celebrate as summer is just around the corner with no school work weighing them down, no test to spend all night studying, and more time to focus on all the hobbies they have been missing out on.

For those people feeling this way, the change is small.

Some, however, are starting to feel a new kind of weight befall them as the days slowly start to count down. As each lunchtime passes and each period goes by, the looming sense of an end to an era is starting to form around their minds. Some parts of them wish that they could spend just a few more moments in this fleeting time of their lives surrounded by friends and memories, while the other part is ready to move on. As time continues, these two parts pull on each other, causing more and more emotions to come forth as time passes.

For these people, the change is big.

There is no cure for change, but without change, there is no growth; without growth, there is no future. Change isn’t something to be stopped because it’s what makes you, and one day, you will return to those places of your past and appreciate all that’s brought you change.

AP test

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

Recently we have been preparing for the AP test in AP World History. This is so scary to me because I am not a good test taker and I do not like having a time limit. Time limits stress me out and I rush through my work resulting in my work not being the best it can be. Which in turn disappoints me. Last year during my history class final I put a sticky note over the time limit. This is the first time I have had to take a cumulative test in high school. To be so honest I barely remember what we learned back in August so the fact all that information will be in one test is so intimidating. There is a few sections to the test but the most scary for me is the multiple choice. I am always stuck between two answers and whenever I realize it’s been the same letter a few times I get very weary. I always feel like there is no way the answer is C three times in a row. The test is may 15th so wish me luck and next year I will write about my experience and my score.

PC:”Pencil and test paper“/ CC0 1.0