Tag: selfcare

Self Care

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This school year I have noticed that I have been a mess. I used to put my self-care over everything. I have fallen out of my routine and must start picking up my old habits because they used to bring me so much peace.

I used to be very strict about hair care. For my hair, I would always oil it before I washed my hair. I would specifically use rosemary and castor oil on my scalp and argan oil on my ends. I would leave it in for two hours in a claw clip and would use my scalp massager to stimulate hair growth. I would always go to bed wearing a silk cap to prevent gaining split ends. I was so psycho about it that I would refuse to let my hair rest on my pillow without my cap. I would never use heat on my hair to make sure I was getting dry hair with split ends. This year, I never oil my hair, use my silk cap, and use heat on my hair every day. I have noticed a significant difference in my hair and it feels so much more damaged.

Last year, I struggled a lot with acne. My skin would look horrific and then it would begin to clear up and break out bad again. It was a never-ending cycle. I had listened to what my dermatologist told me exactly but it didn’t seem to work. There wasn’t one day I would miss my skincare, even when I would go on camping trips. I wouldn’t put any makeup on my face because I was concerned it would make breakouts worse, even how badly I wanted to cover it up. I refused to touch my face without freshly washed hands. I always wore sunscreen when I would go out. I finally switched to a different dermatologist months ago and it has significantly improved my skin. Now that I rarely break out, I don’t take as good a job with my skin. I use makeup products on my face that aren’t that clean and I don’t clean my face three times a day anymore. During the day, I rest my face on my pillow although it isn’t freshly washed which is something I never would have done last year. I never wear sunscreen now. Although my skin isn’t bad anymore, I’m not taking good care of it and overtime I will be able to see it’s damage.

There is so much more self-care I used to do last year that I don’t do as often now. I am an a very clean person still, but putting my self-care first gave me clarity in my life and brought me joy.

“Makeup Brush” by Freestocks.org/ CC0 1.0

Beauty is only skin deep

smalltownhumanbeingLeave a comment

They say beauty is only skin deep, but what is that supposed to mean?

Many of us find ourselves examining our features in the mirror for hours on end, or catching a glance of yourself in the mirror and feeling a wave of self conscious thoughts crowd your mind.

Why as human beings do we strive to be beautiful on the outside? Why is not having a beautiful soul or personality good enough?

I often find myself wondering if people still believe that beauty is in fact skin deep. I would much rather be adored for how I treat people, rather than for how I look physically on the outside.

If people believed beauty was in fact only skin deep, I think many of us would live a happier life. We would not care so much about how we looked or if we had the perfect body to fit in a bikini because it would not matter. In the end, none of it would really matter.

Yes, beauty is on the inside and it is skin deep, but sometimes in order to find that inner beauty you must learn to love your external self too.

Art Credit: twowaymirrors.com

The Art of Boundaries:

fatveganfrogLeave a comment

Boundaries are a part of our healing process. Many of us grew up in homes where boundaries were non-existent. As children, our boundaries were crossed so often that we become adults without them. We were told how we felt, how to behave, and how to interact with others. This disconnected us from our intuitive responses of stating (and following through with) our own personal limits.

All healthy relationships require boundaries. There’s no shame in us not having boundaries in our relationships if we never had this behavior modeled for us. It’s something we have to learn. And practice. And slowly integrate into our lives.

Disclosure: when I first started setting boundaries it was terrifying. The reactions I got often sent me into fear along with many panic attacks. Being in toxic relationships in the past, confrontation with others was my number one fear. I would completely shut down with the thought of telling someone how I felt about the way they were treating me. It took me a while to realize I am not responsible for the emotional reactions of others. It took me a while to see how this benefited me and everyone I had relationships with. 

Boundaries are kind. They provide clear limits of where we end and another begins. They allow other people to understand how to best engage with us. Setting and receiving boundaries can feel terrifying and guilt ridden, especially coming from codependent dynamics.

And for those with unresolved trauma, boundaries can feel like abandonment. They can trigger defense mechanisms within us. All we can do is objectively deliver them with grace. Then hold them regardless of reaction.