on a persistent Thursday

image via i.pinimg.com

The morning is the inhale – the first air that is taken in, and held there –

Some days are more deceptive than others
like a warm Thursday afternoon that manages to convince you there is nothing left to do;

It leaves you anticipating the rest.
The first breath that is fully taken in and fully released in a few easy seconds. Knowing everything else may be paused for a while.

But then you remember:
the light is not orange because it is summertime, when the days are so hot they seem to melt into one another,
but rather because it is 4pm on a Thursday afternoon, and you are wearing sunglasses because the days are only shorter now.

And because it is a Thursday and not a Friday,
you can only breathe partially.

And so the evening is the exhale – the same morning air that never really escaped finally does, though it won’t return until the sun comes up again tomorrow –

And we grow used to that feeling. Or at least I do.

FOUR MORE DAYS !!

OKAY.

I KNOW I SAID I WOULDN’T THINK ABOUT IT UNTIL AFTER I FIND OUT THE RESULTS BUT…

i just cant.

ALKEJFIOSDJFLSEMNFOALDKCM!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY!?
I feel like these four days are killing me.

On December 1st, I will receive two emails from Williams and Amherst, letting me know whether or not I have been accepted. I don’t know what time the emails will come which makes things worse for me! I will be checking every five minutes on that day! Will it come at noon like the last email? If so will it come at noon Eastern Time? Would that make it arrive in my inbox at nine?

I am scared because Williams and Amherst are one of the nations top colleges. Williams is rated #1 in Forbes Best College List and #1 liberal arts schools in U.S. News and World Report Best College List. Amherst is #4 on Forbes and #2 in U.S. News and World.

Williams College is a small school of just over 2,000 students with an acceptance rate of 20 percent. SDLKFJSDLJF. So 20 out of 100 students that apply get in. 80 get a rejection.

Amherst is even worse. It has an acceptance rate of 16. So in this case, 84 would get the boot.

What I am scared the most about is, like I said in my previous blog, whether or not I will hate the isolation. I am scared that I will hate being in the middle of nowhere (being three and a half hours away from Boston) and find myself hating the weather too!

I think too much.

I am both dreading and waiting for Thursday to come.

God, please choose the right school for me.

I HATE THE SAT!

Yesterday was the big huzzah. It was the day that would determine the fate of my summer. Yesterday, Thursday, March 31st, 2011, was the day I had been waiting for. And it was nothing short of disappointing.

I was home sick yesterday, but I still remembered, the moment I woke up from my slumber, to check my SAT scores. It only made my condition worse.

The screen read 650-reading, 670-math, and 620-writing. Goodness, it seemed as if my previous summer had been a waste. I had spent two months of pure studying for this one test and I had gotten a 1940. The colleges that I am hoping to get into require over a 2000.

I did remind myself, however, that I was sick that Saturday I took the test and the week following up to it. But a 1940? That is no exception.

I haven’t told my mom my score yet because I am afraid for her reaction. This summer, before taking my first SAT prep class, my diagnostic grade had been in the low 1900’s. My mom was very disappointed in me and I know that she will still be disappointed in my score if I tell her that after two months of sending me to classes, I have arrived at a almost identical score.

My goal for the SAT’s is a 2100. A 700 in critical reading, a 700 in math, and a 700 in writing. I know this is attainable because my scores (650, 670, 620) are not too far from my goal. But sadly, I will have to spend my summer not at the beach and having fun, but in a cold, isolated classroom, shoving hundreds of vocabulary words into my head in SAT classes. Oh goody, I just CAN’T WAIT!