Recently, on my TikTok for You page, I’ve been getting a lot of videos about the guy called Clavicular, who looks maxes. He seems really scary, but he is kind of valid. He has done tons of injections, and something called bone smashing, where he hits himself in the face with a hammer, and I thought he was just really psychotic, but somehow everything he has done has juristically changed his appearance. The second he reached his “ascension”, which is reaching his prime, he blew up. He was kicked out of college because of his looksmaxing, and even though his life felt ruined in the moment, he became successful for looksmaxing. His career is just based on rating people and trying to get his rating up, but I’m lowkey really invested. His next part of his ascension is his double-jaw surgery, and I hope it goes well and that he doesn’t botch his face.
I love sleep, but no matter how much I get of it, I’m always tired at school. That may just be a me problem, but I don’t know. The feeling of being tired is so good yet so bad at the same time. When I’m about to go to sleep, being tired is the best thing, but when I’m tired and I can’t sleep, it’s the worst. Aside from actually sleeping, nighttime is the best time of day. When you look up at the sky, the stars radiate throughout the whole night. Every star is unique in its own way, also the constellations are beautiful. The fact they we are just on a floating rock in the middle of nowhere is so crazy to me. Anyway, back to the original point, sleep is amazing. Everything about and surrounding it is amazing. Sleep rejuvenates my body, most of the time, except for when classes are boring. But sleep is great, it’s necessary for everyone, and is the best feeling ever. I love love LOVE sleep.
Recently, I have been so unmotivated. Senioritis has hit me a little too hard. I spent weeks slaving away on my college applications, and it drained the life out of me. School has sucked everything out of me. Homework, capstones, work, social life, and everything else are actually exhausting. But I have still found a motivation to stay happy, so here’s a list of things that do make me happy.
Making my bed in the morning makes my life feel more put together and clean.
Sleeping in after a long week of school.
Hot pilates, so relaxing and calms me down
My cat because she’s so cute.
Going out to eat, nothing beats getting good food from a nice restaurant with my friends.
Watching a good show after a long day at school.
Burning hot showers.
My water bottle keeps me hydrated
shopping
Music on the way to school.
Driving to school in the morning
These are things that keep me grounded and happy during such an overwhelming time.
I don’t think I’ve written more in my life than in the past few weeks. I had eight college deadlines on November 1st, and I decided to complete my work at the last minute. I just submitted half of my college applications, and I’m honestly done. I feel like the amount of work students do building up to applying to college is enough. Going through a tedious process of reviewing everything I’ve done with my life over the past eighteen years, with a word limit, feels impossible. I’m trying to manifest that I will get into lots of colleges, but I’m also not delusional. I missed one of the best weekends of the year, sick and doing college work, and I just hope that I get good karma from this. On top of all of this college work, I keep forgetting that I actually have school work, but that seems more like a tomorrow problem.
Imagine going from the tranquil flows of crystal-clear water, lush towering mountains, and uncultivated lands to a place like Ojai. Look, don’t get me wrong—Ojai has its beauty, tons of it at that—but there is this feeling that the air in Hawai‘i gives me. I’m not just talking about the sticky humidity; I’m talking about the feeling of being so disconnected from the world. Miles and miles of deep blue depth surround you entirely, yet you are safe on a tiny island—and alive, more alive than anywhere else.
I have traveled to many places in the world and seen the serene beauty of each diverse landscape, but nothing will ever compare to my home. I know every pothole in the road and every path to the ocean. Store owners have watched me grow up from behind a register, and first-time introductions are a rare occurrence.
There is always this tugging feeling, like you are never quite comfortable anywhere else, when you are inescapably tethered to an island. It’s hard to explain such a strange feeling to someone who has never lived there, but I believe it’s a feeling that will never fully go away.
Halloween is one of the most fun and stressful moments of life. This year it’s terrible because I have to balance out celebrating Halloween and also finishing up college work. The most difficult part of Halloween is figuring out outfits. Whenever I open TikTok or Pinterest to find inspiration, they are either over worn outfits, ugly, or too much. All the excellent ones are always worn a million times, but I also don’t want to wear something that no one would understand. Another obstacle is wanting to wear the same costume as your friend. I always tell myself that I will have my outfits planned and bought before summer ends, but this never happens. I’ve already used one of my costumes, but I have three other ones that are ready. This is genuinely shocking because usually I just figure things out really last minute, but I had to stop worrying about it and get it done, just like I need to do with college work.
I recently watched Mr.Smith Goes to Washington in my government class. 10/10 movie, definitely recommend. If you’re interested in learning about the Senate and its bill discussion process, this movie is a great place to start. It’s also not boring like most movies teachers tend to show.
The cast 100/10. Mr. Smith is a swell character. Although he’s introduced as a foolishly patriotic “boy ranger”, his true character really shines. His face card is also 1939 lethal. His face card was a definite highlight that helped the movie avoid being boring. His personality is also out of this world. He’s so goofy, compassionate, and has immaculate integrity, which was refreshing to see in the government in the 1930s.
It really made me think about my current government and the fact that some of the outrageous things done in the movie have also been done in reality. Although it was disappointing, I also realized that if people truly wanted to see change, they could take action.
When the school year started, I felt like I would be able to do chemistry. With my high ego, I walked into the class for the first time thinking it would be a piece of cake. I ignored how all of my older friends said how this was the hardest class they had ever taken. They all had said that they finished the semester with below a B. What I don’t understand is why we are mixing science and math, the two hardest subjects, and my two weakest. On the most recent test, it was based solely on math. I did the first page before I broke down in tears. It was almost embarrassing, having a breakdown over a chemistry test. No matter how hard I tried to understand it and answer the questions, I just couldn’t. I was like I was staring at numbers floating all over my page, asking me which one is a kilometer. How does one even study chemistry? If I don’t understand it in the first place, how will I study it? Not being able to do the test discouraged me for the rest of the day. I started to doubt myself and my knowledge, in other classes too. Until I realized that everyone struggles in some way, regardless of what class or situation.
This past week, I have been sleeping through all of my alarms that I set in the morning for school. I don’t think I’ve woken up on time a single morning the past two weeks. I set two alarms just in case I don’t wake up from the first one. I’m not even fully sleeping through them. I wake up, turn the alarm off, and go back to bed. It could have something to do with motivation, not wanting to get up and get ready. The problem could also be that I’m going to bed later than usual to get all my homework done and study for exams, because of all my studying, I’m going to bed around 1-2 am and waking up at 6-7 am. In the mornings, I have to rush to get ready, and it impacts my day with a chaotic start. Staying up late and studying positively impacts my day because I feel confident in schoolwork and tests. Hopefully, I can get my sleep schedule back on track after these past stressful weeks and try and balance sleep and school.
I think this week has been the worst week of my senior year so far.
Monday was fine; nothing really happened, it was a basic day. I went to my classes, went to sports, and hated that the weekend was so short and that I’m back at school. The homework was acceptably light, which made it better.
On Tuesday, I got up and got ready for the day. Unsurprisingly, an epidemic of sickness is currently occurring within the dorms. Everybody is either sick or getting sick, and not long, I know I’m going to be the next victim. But anyways, I didn’t have to go to all my classes since I had a volleyball gam.
Unfortunately, the volleyball game was in LA. We had to drive about two hours to get to the location, which was kind of annoying. We ended up getting there about thirty minutes early, which was kind of boring. Anyways, the. The team did really well. Although we lost pretty badly in the first and third sets, the second set was by far. The best set we’ve ever played, falling not far behind the rival team, losing only 22-25. I’m very proud of the team.
Wednesday is where it gets wobbly, not horrendous, but also not amazing. Honestly, I can remember most of it. Wait, yes, I do, it was actually pretty good because there was a town trip, which meant no sports. I actually did some work and got to relax. I did tutoring, which was easy because nobody showed up for English and History. I was really tired and was not able to focus on the task I was doing, so I watched a quick YouTube video. It kind of helped, but not really. I still felt really tired. After tutoring I went staright to bed.
Thursday was the worst. I woke up happy, because I was going to start my day with a free block, only to get it ruined by the notification” room check today.” It genuinely dampened my mood because, why out of all the days, is there a room check when I have my free block first? Anyway, I spent my free block in the bathroom because a teacher was checking the rooms ( turned out we could stay in the room while they did a room check). From there, my day spiraled. and progressively got worse.
Finally, Friday the one of the best days of the week. It is the final stretch of the week before the weekend. All my teachers didn’t assign weekend homework, which. I’m grateful for. So now I feel I can relax and fill out some more of my college requirements. Sadly, I know that once I shut my eyes, it will be Monday all over again.
OVS Journalism Blog 
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