Over the weekend I hosted a Galentines Day. It was supposed to be in my backyard but the weather was soooooo cold. With the weather being so cold I decided to switch the party to inside. It was a smaller group with about 11 or 12 girls. I decorated the table in hues of pink and white. I put together big and small bouquets of pink and white flowers. I am pretty happy with the outcome of the party too. I set up and practically put the party together myself. I am super proud. There would have been more stuff I would have liked to add but overall it was a success. The dinner was the definition of girl hood. Something I do wish might have happened differently is my chocolate fountain. I accidentally used the wrong type of chocolate so it hardened when it was supposed to fountain out. I love pink so much. And I love flowers so much. #PERF
In the time we are in now women’s beauty standards are a thing that deeply confuses me. Body image is a growing problem among teenagers with 35-57% of teen girls having an eating disorder. Many teens strive to have a perfect hourglass body in the hope of being more appealing to boys or more content with themselves. In the eyes of boys if girls are too skinny they are anorexic or they should go eat a burger. If they are slightly chubby there are pig and should eat a salad. Clothing is another very controversial thing if they show too much of their body they’re a s**t but if they dress conservatively then it’s assumed they don’t have a good body. Social media plays a huge role in this. Teens scroll on social media and often compare themselves to others who appear to have the perfect body and life. If there is one thing I have learned as a teen it is things usually aren’t as perfect as they are displayed on people’s socials. No one wants to post a picture where they believe they don’t look fit. Photoshop is a thing commonly used by teens and also contributes to eating and body issues. Girls will edit their bodies in the hope of fitting the impossible beauty standards. Then when they look in the mirror and compare it to their edited photo they want to look like the photo and often develop mental health issues such as body dysmorphia.
I am so stressed. I have so much homework. I need a week to wind down and relax. I need, at the most 3, hours to get cozy and watch a movie without the ongoing stress and headache caused by school. I want to enjoy hanging out with my friends, but in the back of my mind, homework is lurking. Tears jolt down the faces of students like me. The winter weather, mixed with the massive amount of work, creates the feeling of sickness. The headaches caused by stress just make fewer chances of doing the work that is necessary. Do I get the work done? Yes. But in the end, I got 3 hours of sleep, woke up late, had no breakfast, less social life, and less time to work on self goals and interests. While I write this, I do have a headache. And I do want to go to sleep because it is 10:10 PM. But I still have notes, essays, and readings. Everyone says it’s a part of growing up, but if that’s the case, then I would rather stay the age I get to enjoy my time with friends, playing games, and running around outside.
I could talk about romance for hours. The idea of teenage love, unexpected love, enemies to lovers, and so many more. I honestly could not pick my favorite romance movie. There are also so many different types of romance movies. There are rom coms, cheesy movies, and ones that crush your whole idea of falling in love as a whole. If I had to choose between movies like The Notebook, Dear John, 10 things I Hate About You, How to Loose a guy in 10 days, Anyone but You, Titanic, Mamma Mia, and Where the Crawdads Sing I could not pick what one was my favorite. The amount of money I would pay to rewatch any of those movies again for the first time. The feeling of watching a new romantic movie that is actually good for the first time is like the best feelings of mixed emotions. I wish there were newer movies that matched the feeling the older romance movies give. Also watching a romantic movie on a rainy day gives so much comfort.
Yesterday was my birthday. While I always look forward to my birthday, I was not as excited this year. I thought it was just the same feeling I get during all of the holidays. As I grow up my excitement parishes little by little. I didn’t ask for anything this year. I wanted a surprise. So I woke up not expecting much but my day was amazing. I walked down the stairs to leave for school. Balloons, flowers, and presents sit on the counter waiting for me! The love I have for getting flowers is unmatched. I had a combination of all my favorite flowers in 4 separate vases. I opened up my gifts fast, and then I left for Starbucks. Music blares as I drive to Starbucks; it’s a fairly nice day, which makes me happy, too. When I get to school, a special someone waits for me. He walks over to my car and hands me a bouquet he put together himself with a note and a handmade card. The simplest gifts I realized make me the happiest. Then one of my friends walks up to me with another flower bouquet! I walk up the hill with messages flowing into my phone. Once I get to lunch, I am shocked to find my mom and her coworker walking up to my table with balloons and a whole box of donuts. To say I was shocked is an understatement. I go home and relax before my birthday dinner with my friends. My dinner was perfect and not awkward which I was worried about. The simplest birthday I have had, in the end, was the best birthday I have had. My birthday still isn’t completely over. I still have a few family birthday dinners to go to!
When you turn 18, 90-96 percent of the time you will ever spend with your parents is over.
When I read that, I was pretty shocked. Logically, it makes sense. Your parents care for you as a child, and then you leave home to lead your individual life. You make your own way and surround yourself with the people you choose. At times, visiting home seems to be an onerous chore.
However, I’ve gotten closer to my family in the past few years. As a little kid, your parents are the people who tell you what you have to do and what you can’t do. The other day, my mother, at the dining table, said she saw me as a friend.
What’s interesting is my sister looked at me, gloating. “A friend? Like, you’re not even a part of the family anymore!”
I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but I think this meets the word count requirement and this blog is already late.
Basketball is coming to an end and the last sports season is approaching.
but what’s really becoming real is how I feel about people in my life. how I really feel about them, and especially how they feel about me.
Even though no one else has seen it I feel like I have changed a lot. Middle school to high school was a huge switch, and from then I kind of (pardon my French) screwed myself over.
I tried to be better in high school, and have a better experience than middle school, and freshman to sophomore year was pretty good. Junior year sucked. Now Senior year is a little bit of both.
I guess I was trying to paint a certain picture of myself and then in the end I got trapped in that same picture.
I don’t feel as energetic or enthusiastic as I was during my freshman year. I feel a lot more calm and quiet, I like the silence more. Just because I’m not screaming at the top of my lungs doesn’t mean I’m not having fun. just because I’m silent doesn’t mean I’m angry.
I love people who let me be silent KME(D). My favorite people without a doubt. they understood as soon as I did and they accepted it. Other people still don’t understand and make faces as soon as I go quiet. I just feel uncomfortable. What am I supposed to do? I can’t when it’s everyone vs 1. At least that’s what it feels like.
Music. That’s the only thing that helps in those situations. I wish I knew what to do or what to say. Personally, I wouldn’t treat my friends like that.
I wish people were more real. Instead of faking I wish they acted how they talked. The switch-up is insane. The contradiction is insane. Honestly, everything is insane.
Anyway, I guess this really is just how I see it. Maybe it is a totally different experience from the other side.
I just can’t wait to leave. I’m ready, but I’ll miss my friends. It’s all becoming too real.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Bill. He sat at the bus stop, and it was raining. He held of bouquet. It was a bouquet of roses. They were very pretty at one point, but he had been sitting and waiting at the bus stop for a while, and they were wilting. It was wet and cold outside, but he knew that it would be better when he got on the bus. He wore a dress shirt and pants that were not warm enough to shield him from the cold, wet, weather. Bill shivered.
He stared out at the supermarket across the street. It would be dry and warm in the supermarket, but he was waiting for the bus.
Bill looked out at the damp scenery, doing and thinking nothing. He was simply waiting in a cold, trance-like stupor.
A woman walked along the sidewalk, holding an umbrella. She was walking her dog, and the dog was wearing a little raincoat. As she approached the bus stop, she could see a man sitting on the bench. She wondered if he was waiting for the bus, and she wondered if he knew that the bus had been decommissioned earlier that month. The woman hesitated. Should she tell him that the bus would not come? He looked quite still and content, waiting, and she did not want to intrude. And perhaps the bus was back in order. She was afraid to interrupt his day and afraid to be wrong, so she walked past the bus stop and said nothing.
Bill waited for the bus, but the bus never came. It continued to rain for years, and for years, the bus never came. Bill sat a the bus stop, waiting for the bus. Every year that passed watered the seedling of despair that Bill nurtured in him. His bouquet of roses died, and his clothes faded. With this despair, Bill clung to the hope that the bus was almost here and that when the bus came, it would restore the delicate life in his bouquet and the robust color of his clothes, and everything would be right again. Sometimes he thought he heard the hiss of an engine or the grumble of the wheels, but it was an illusion brought on by the rain.
Eventually, Bill grew old and died at the bus stop, waiting in the rain.
My whole life, I’ve had generally bad luck, usually losing and breaking things. I think I have lost at least 8 pairs of AirPods in the last 3 years. My old AirPods are all over I left a pair in Bali, Texas, Big Bear and I don’t even know where else. I have also lost multiple credit cards and so many pieces of clothes. Sometimes, when I’m cleaning my room, I’ll find something I didn’t even know I lost. I also have bad luck with breaking thins I’ve broken my laptop twice and broken many iPads I’ve also broken my phone to many times to remember. Last week I accidentally dropped my phone in the hot tub and the next day dropped my AirPods in the toilet. Thank god both my phone and AirPods are waterproof so they survived. I am writing this off an iPad because my computer is broken.
I have probably spent an hour a day this whole week trying to write my blog post. And it is still late… I never realized how bad I get writer’s block until I must turn it in. I am getting writer’s block right now. I deleted everything I wrote periodically throughout the week too. So I could not even turn any of those rough drafts in. Its not that I can’t find a topic. I just don’t know how much of my life I really want to share to anyone who reads what I write. Or if I write something fictional but really depressing I don’t want anyone to think I am actually talking about myself. I have noticed that on the days I don’t feel like talking to people I can write a lot more. But on the days I talk alot I can never seem to fill the blank page staring at me blankly. I also tend to drift to separate topics while I write or repeat myself again and again. At least I can be aware of it. My life has been pretty bland lately. Well anyways there is me trying to write something while having writer’s block. I hope I have enough words.
OVS Journalism Blog 
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