disassociation

10:23 am. Today I was driving and I started to disassociate. It’s the moment when you look at your hands on the steering wheel and you can’t remember how they got there. An action without a thought. The frustration that comes with the inability to recognize the hands that have guided you through your life thus far. These thoughts consume you and you can feel nothing and everything at the same time. Your breathing slows and moves like the colors behind your eyes when you try to fall asleep. You will never give it away, not with the solemn look on your face, or the thoughtless gloss swimming in your eye. I don’t think there is a time when you can be more in your head, but that’s just an opinion. The sounds of her voice muffle as I try to keep myself from falling down my own throat. “Isn’t that crazy” 10:57 am. 

IMG_3003
pc: me