blown from the north

bringing the christmas spirit forth

it is upon us

from bikinis and heat

the season of winter

Brings about jackets and frozen feet

brushed with titanium white

The mountains are a glorious sight

rabbits, bears and coyotes alike

snuggled up somewhere warm

waiting out the winter storm

As the first frost licks the grass

and the long summer nights pass

the lakes freeze in place

The fish frozen with the same face

Dulled knives glide over the ice

the skates glide and slice

A beautiful season full of thrills and chills

As a woman, I am here to voice my opinions about children.

For humans, a simple act of pleasure can erupt into a death-defying stunt. It’s not only humans who do it, it is all female animals, besides the male seahorse. Heaving, pushing, urging a living thing out of your body. Draining all your strength, causing pain, and honestly leaving you a little saggy, is it worth it?

From that point forward you are, until you die, attached and sworn to this tiny human that will cause balding, lack of sleep, and stress migraines. Not to mention the, as i call it, money vacuum that you have not ignorantly created. Your bank account’s life was solid, it had a well-paying job, an apartment, a girlfriend, and maybe a cat. Then the kids come along. Your bank account had to sell its apartment and cat, doomed to a life of emptiness.

Beyond that, when your young children are awake, you are awake, and when your young children are asleep you ugh…let’s be honest do they sleep? If the off chance presents itself that they are asleep long enough for you to open and close the door after exiting their room, tiptoe over to your room get under your covers, close your eyes, and sleep, then you will either be super paranoid and not truly sleep, or you will go into something called the coma. The coma means when you awake after a beautiful sleep, that could not have been broken if World war three commenced in your front yard, your child has pooped itself, thrown up, and cried for two hours.

As your child grows you will have poured every ounce of love that you have into your kids to hopefully see them happy and successful in life. In the teenage years, that love might feel meaningless, and your children could become distant or even resent you. Of course, you will love them unconditionally, but it starts to hurt because you love them more than you have ever loved anything. Continuing on, your children have to embark on their own journey and find themselves, leaving you behind and creating their own life. You no longer have control over your kids, which is scary because you want them to stay safe, and you do not trust their safety with anyone besides yourself.

Once your children have left your house, you start to feel empty. Your purpose is gone. You have no one to care for besides yourself. You don’t know how to do that because it hasn’t been about you for 20 years. You look at yourself and realize that your life has passed by so fast and now you are old and alone. Maybe still with your partner or maybe not. You realize that nothing brought you true happiness besides your kids. Now you look forward to visits and phone calls. From mom to grandma.

You realize that purpose is all that humans crave. You have found yours. Your children give you purpose. Every day if you do not want to get up for yourself you get up for your kids. Watching them take their first steps makes up for every dirty diaper. The first day of school and offset pigtails make up for all of those sleepless nights. Holding your grandchildren make up for the hard laboring hours that got to your children’s births. Long talks, I love yous, watching your kids excel, your kids getting A’s in school, seeing them fail and get back up, you feel pride. Pride for what you have created. Pride for their accomplishments. And Pride for possessing their love.

Through all of the hardships lays a love that is irreplaceable

So asking the question again. Is it worth it?

Yes it is.

Image found on https://www.womensaidni.org/jennys-story/

The wind whipped sand into my face

as I walked eagerly towards the sea

the soles of my feet being searing like meat on a crackling grill of sand

but I didn’t notice because i knew what the water has in store

my foot soon touches the ocean water

the water splashed innocently over my skin

suddenly a tingling chill shoots up my toes, wraps my leg and takes hold of my chest

i step back, for a split second, from the icy creature

that looked at me with a dangerous glare

before throwing all sense out the window

and running like a child into a toy store

through the shallow waters

gliding my board through the surf

I, not so gracefully, mounted my board

landing with a thud of excitement

finding my window in between sets

I tighten my ab muscles a sink into the water with my hand

taking long, slow, methodical strokes

Making it past the break i sit up on my board

the afternoon wind blows sea spray up into my nostrils

forcing me to breathe in the oceans salty breath

forcing me to admit and secum to its power

waves role under me like moving hills

bouncing and rocking the liquefied surface that I sit on

I see my chance

a wave approaches

it starts to break to the right

paddling, scooping and urging my board to move forward

I feel the weight of the board lifted and taken by the wave

my knees drag among the top of the grainy foam board for an instant

then i spring to my feet

my knees become springs that anchor me to the board

that anchors me to the sea

the once icy beast has now become my dance partner

we tango, gracefully, down the beach

I reach my hand out as i am gliding down the wave

and feel the energy of the earth

the wave had been a single pulse

a single heartbeat from the bottom of the sea

it carried me, nurtured me, and give me safe passage back to the land

that my feet are so familiar with

but quickly the wave comes to a halt

throwing me from my board

and smushing me into the sand

submerging my body

the icy creature then again glared at me

before being drawn and pulled back into the sea

i was not offended that i had been pushed off the wave

but honored that it had accepted me and danced with me

I gathered my board

and watched all of the little pieces of negativity that i had burdened

now shattered by the sea and swept off with the creature

I left the sandy paradise

reborn

Photo Found on Wikipedia

Hey I say

to the monster under my bed

hello he said

to the little girl above his bed

I was a little nervous to talk to a monster

he was slimy and gross

and his eyes were too close

there were spikes protruding out of his back

he looked at me like I was a snack

he didn’t have hands Or feet

He kinda just sat there on his seat

he was a little nervous to talk to a human

she had hair coming out of her head

and she say ONTOP of the bed

Her skin was not purple or blue,

it was an odd sight

this little girl was white

Scared they both were

the little girl said

goodnight sir

pulling the covers over her head

as he retreating under her bed

they said goodnight

To the frightful sight