Author: Bl@ckBe@ns

First Semester Senior Year

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I can’t believe it —they were right; it really does creep up. I swear it was only like yesterday that I had been dreading coming back for the final time. The drive, as excited as I was to see my friends, signaled my first step to the end of my high school career. Back then, it seemed I had eternity before the second semester even approached my vicinity. That time would move as slowly as a snail trying to get from one side of the garden to the other. 

But as time seemed to pass me by these couple of months, I realized I’d kept myself busy enough not to notice the approach of the end. As I wrap up my final season of volleyball, I remember this is it. Next year, I will be off to college, and all these fantastic people I know will be spread out either across the US or even the world.  

It baffles me that not that long ago, it was summer and I was dreading the long wait until the second semester, but now the saying “time waits for no one” really has meaning. I want time to wait, so I can continue to enjoy these little moments I have with my friend. The moments where we do nothing and everything, and still find ways to end up on the floor laughing. To the point where my side hurts and I have to yell, “Shut up, it actually hurts,” only to continue. It’s those moments that have made the first semester so memorable and have made me melancholic about the second semester.

Christmas

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It’s almost that time of the year. When the air begins to get a chill and the days get shorter. The smell of all things jolly and bright begins to fill the air, from glistening red, green, and blue lights to green wreaths with big red bows hung from door to door.  It’s that time of year, Christmas.

The holiday some people begin celebrating at midnight on November 30th. Some people forget Thanksgiving as a whole and celebrate only the abundant food prepared. As it nears December, I can’t help but feel a slight melancholy amongst the sheer amount of joy, as this will mark my last Christmas as a child. Through the melancholy, I remember that since it’s my last, I have to make it count.  I can not be shy about asking for the things I really want, because it may be my last before I’m encouraged to give myself gifts. Even so, I can’t stop the jolly feeling of the approaching holiday.

AP Lit.

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I’m not sure why I chose to take AP Literature and Composition. Yes, I do like English, but not enough to torture myself. Yes, it’s just the beginning of the class, but I’m not meant for the timed writing lifestyle. It gives me too much anxiety and makes it hard to focus on the task and hand. I’m not going to sit here and lie, but I thought I would be doing better. I currently have a grade in the B range, which I’m usually ok with, but recently B’s have been looking awful to me. 
I should have had this mindset in my Junior year. If I had, I would have had higher hopes of getting accepted into better colleges.


I digress. Every time we do timed writing in class, I always end up reading the prompt way too many times, and even then, I might still not fully grasp what’s needed. 

When I get to the writing segment, I often find myself forgetting what I was thinking about and having to go back and read through it.  By the time I’ve gotten started and have set a rhythm, I have like 5 minutes left. Once I hear “you guys have five more minutes,” the rhythm I had disappears into thin air, and I’m trying to type whatever comes to my head, but yet again, my brain has nothing to write. 

Movie Review/ Mr.Smith Goes to Washington

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Credit: Google/ IMDd

I recently watched Mr.Smith Goes to Washington in my government class. 10/10 movie,  definitely recommend. If you’re interested in learning about the Senate and its bill discussion process, this movie is a great place to start. It’s also not boring like most movies teachers tend to show. 

The cast 100/10. Mr. Smith is a swell character. Although he’s introduced as a foolishly patriotic “boy ranger”, his true character really shines. His face card is also 1939 lethal. His face card was a definite highlight that helped the movie avoid being boring. His personality is also out of this world. He’s so goofy, compassionate, and has immaculate integrity, which was refreshing to see in the government in the 1930s.

It really made me think about my current government and the fact that some of the outrageous things done in the movie have also been done in reality. Although it was disappointing, I also realized that if people truly wanted to see change, they could take action. 

November 1st

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It’s getting closer every day. The more time passes, the closer it looms, like someone watching over your shoulder.  Although you can’t see them,  you can constantly feel their presence. It makes it somewhat challenging to focus on the present when the future keeps moving forward.  Once November 1st arrives, people will be applying and waiting to hear back from colleges, marking the beginning of our future.

After that happens, the floodgates will open. People will be either delighted or disappointed with their response from their colleges. It makes me think of all previous seniors, were they this stressed, yet excited?  Were some of them sure of their likelihood of getting in, only to be rejected, or were they correct? 

The more I think about it,  the thought that almost constantly remains the same is that after November 1st, what will happen to my friends? Where will they go? Will we be as close as we are now after departing?  Or will we slowly begin to fade from each other’s lives? As these thoughts sometimes consume me, it is those exact friends that pull me back in and remind me to enjoy now.

This Week

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I think this week has been the worst week of my senior year so far.

Monday was fine; nothing really happened, it was a basic day. I went to my classes, went to sports, and hated that the weekend was so short and that I’m back at school. The homework was acceptably light, which made it better.

On Tuesday, I got up and got ready for the day. Unsurprisingly, an epidemic of sickness is currently occurring within the dorms. Everybody is either sick or getting sick, and not long, I know I’m going to be the next victim. But anyways, I didn’t have to go to all my classes since I had a volleyball gam.

Unfortunately, the volleyball game was in LA. We had to drive about two hours to get to the location, which was kind of annoying. We ended up getting there about thirty minutes early, which was kind of boring. Anyways, the. The team did really well. Although we lost pretty badly in the first and third sets, the second set was by far. The best set we’ve ever played, falling not far behind the rival team, losing only 22-25. I’m very proud of the team.

Wednesday is where it gets wobbly, not horrendous, but also not amazing. Honestly, I can remember most of it. Wait, yes, I do, it was actually pretty good because there was a town trip, which meant no sports. I actually did some work and got to relax. I did tutoring, which was easy because nobody showed up for English and History. I was really tired and was not able to focus on the task I was doing, so I watched a quick YouTube video. It kind of helped, but not really. I still felt really tired. After tutoring I went staright to bed.

Thursday was the worst. I woke up happy, because I was going to start my day with a free block, only to get it ruined by the notification” room check today.” It genuinely dampened my mood because, why out of all the days, is there a room check when I have my free block first? Anyway, I spent my free block in the bathroom because a teacher was checking the rooms ( turned out we could stay in the room while they did a room check). From there, my day spiraled. and progressively got worse.

Finally, Friday the one of the best days of the week. It is the final stretch of the week before the weekend. All my teachers didn’t assign weekend homework, which. I’m grateful for. So now I feel I can relax and fill out some more of my college requirements. Sadly, I know that once I shut my eyes, it will be Monday all over again.

Forgetting My Blog

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So, it’s Sunday afternoon… and I just realized, I forgot to write my blog. You’re probably thinking, how can you forget your blog, it’s a weekly thing and it’s always mentioned. Well I somehow did, and now I feel like I’m a hundred steps behind. 

I recently started a new system of keeping track of things for school, guess it isn’t working. The new system I’m currently using is to write things I need to do on a sticky note and stick them to my desk where I can see them. It felt like it was working and I was more on top of things compared to before, but I’ve managed to mess it up.  

The blog isn’t the only thing I forgot. It turned out I forgot something for another class, but it was before I  started the system, which I don’t think really counts, but still. Now I feel like I’m falling behind in everything, and I’m gonna fail every class from here on out. The worst part is that it has only been about three weeks since school started, but somehow, the effort I’m putting in currently feels like nothing compared to everybody else.

Choosing Colleges

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Choosing a college is more difficult than I thought it would be. When I was younger, I thought it would be really easy, but not anymore. Holy crap, I didn’t realise how many things you actually have to take into consideration.

Things such as location, size, and population. Another undeniably important thing is cost, like can you actually afford to pay 100k a year in tuition, plus the cost to live for the next four years? Compared to the beginning of high school, my expectations for out-of-state college have slowly diminished, and I am more inclined to stay in-state.

If you do find a college you like and that suits you, and you believe you can afford, there is also the acceptance rate. Yes, you might like college, but does the college like you? Out of the x number of people who apply, what exactly makes you special? There are plenty of people who have the same classes and extracurriculars as you, so why would they pick you?

Honestly, I think I might just be overthinking everything. I’ll definitely find a college that I like and that is affordable. The worst that can happen is, I get rejected by everyone, but that won’t completely happen…. right?

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