Author: cannassuer

What’s Rule #1

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WARNING MAJOR FIGHT CLUB SPOILERS

A few nights ago I decided to watch Fight Club. For a while, I had put watching Fight Club off because of all the hype, I had heard a lot about it and I didn’t really understand why there was so much fuss over a movie about people who fight each other. However, whilst watching a Netflix Special about cliches in movies, and the bomb scene from Fight Club was featured. I was a little confused having scene that since I couldn’t really connect people fighting with a bomb scene that looked like it was from Mission Impossible, but I was intrigued.

The movie begins with a slow burn. The first few scenes just introduce the main character, he’s really nothing special just a slightly nerdy white guy with mundane life and a mundane job. So mundane in fact that he begins to develop a major insomnia problem. As it gets worse, he begins to attend various support groups as it helps him cry and therefore actually get some sleep. At this point, I’m thinking to myself How the hell does this turn into a bunch of guys fighting. When his support group sessions get invaded by another faker, he quits. Instead, he takes up random one-time interactions on the plane as a form of therapy. On one of these flights, he meets Tyler, a young, attractive, charismatic, and interesting guy who makes soap for a living.

Although Tyler clearly is more interesting than the main character, they both share the same problem: their lives are extremely boring. They start the Fight Club, as the Fight Club grows, it gains massive traction, Tyler spreads it from city to city and basically becomes the god of people with mundane lives. His influence over them becomes so strong in fact, that he convinces them to become terrorists. They burn a smiley face into a building and even blow up multiple financial headquarters to erase people’s debt. The main character freaks out. He had no involvement in the terrorism, just the Fight Club but he knew that Tyler had dragged him into committing one of the most serious crimes.

In a final confrontation with Tyler, the main character begins to realize that he has been Tyler this whole time. Tyler was a figment of his imagination created by his insurmountable insomnia that represented everything he wanted to be in life. He was Tyler and even was so delusional that he sometimes pictured himself watching what Tyler was doing. I had begun to suspect that the main character’s insomnia had something to do with it because the plot was getting so bizarre that some of this had to be hallucinated. However, I kind of believe that this was one of those Usual Suspects type movies in which the viewers are meant to catch on earlier than the characters but still feel uncertain because of how off the rails the movie was before.

These types of movies are my absolute favorites. Much like No Country For Old Men or Momento, for most of the movie, I could not figure where this movie was going, and as the movie progressed, the plot spiraled further and further into its own insanity, and by the end, you don’t really know what to feel because you’re still trying to figure out what the hell you just watched. I’m still thinking about a lot of what happened in that movie, and some of it still perplexes me a little, but I am certain that it was one of the best movies I’ve seen in months, and it’s definitely about a little more than just guys who fight each other.

Image credit- mensjournal.com

Mew vs. 1.1 Million Lions

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One billion lions vs. every single Pokémon, who would win? This is a common argument seen on the internet that seems to never end. On one side, there are 898 extremely powerful and versatile Pokémon. On the other side, there is an exponentially larger number of exponentially less powerful lions.

Most people argue that the lions prevail, which is quite valid since one billion is an absurd number. They are wrong. Some Pokémon are literal gods of their worlds which means they could easily wipe out thousands of lions without much effort. To pull this off each Pokémon would have to kill an average of 1.1 million lions. Which is absurd. However, there’s a decent amount of Pokémon that could just permanently stay out of the reach of any lions. It doesn’t matter if it’s one lion or one billion lions, they can’t kill anything that can fly, swim, travel underground or teleport.

The lions can’t kill certain Pokémon, and the ones that they can kill can probably make a dent in the numbers before they go. If it was only Pokémon that stay on the surface, it would be no competition, a billion of anything could win. It is fair to think that the lions would win, one billion is a number that’s completely unperceivable, but regardless of the number, the lions have no way to kill these Pokémon.

Photo Credit: @MaxKetchum_ on Twitter

A Dead End

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The life cycle is quite an interesting phenomenon. One day, you’re just born, random gender, random name, you’re stuck in a random place, born into a random family. You may not like your name, you may not like your gender, you spend your whole life being told you have the power to change whatever you want but then everyone tries to stop you. You get a job, you build a life, buy a home and that makes you happy, but does it really make you happy? Or are you just told that it’s supposed to make you happy?

You then have kids, and you introduce them to the same cruel cycle you were introduced to. And who even knows if you’re fit to be a parent, nobody taught you how to parent, and now you have to completely cultivate another human being. They have just as complex of a mind as you do, they question life too and they’ll likely go through the same cycle you did. Doing what you’re told is supposed to make you happy, with no direction, no real end goal.

And then, just like that one fateful day comes and that whole cycle ends for you. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of theories on what happens when we die, we’ll never know. Personally, I believe that there’s nothing, just like a sleep without dreams, a sleep you won’t wake up from. All that build-up, all that work to make a spot in society, to make yourself happy, just for it to end as fast as a computer shuts down. And that’s it. Makes it seem pointless, but for some reason, we push on, maybe we’re just trying to find a reason to live, maybe we’re just scared of dying.

Art by Haenuli

The Battle of Titans

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Shmicolas VS. Schmogan, a fight that has been building tension within the walls of my school for almost half a decade. Beginning as enemies perpetually at each other’s throats and now friends still perpetually at each other’s throats, still waiting to get in the ring to settle the seemingly eternal beef.

For a while now I have had my money on Schmicolas, small but scrappy, thin but still holding the power capable of knocking Schmogan on his ass, with one fell swoop. Schmicolas is quite the unfortunate adversary for Schmogan as Schmogan is easily enraged, quick to lose his cool and drop his advantage. Although I confidentially place my bet on Schmicolas, Schmogan is still quick, strong and capable of sending a punch that would even leave some fighters stunned.

If we’re talking wrestling, mixed martial arts or street fighting, the advantage is certainly in Shmicolas’ hands. He is a capable wrestler, one that has quite the record when it comes to taking Schmogan to the ground and getting him to tap. However, in a regulation boxing match, things may get a little interesting. As their builds are almost exactly the same, they throw the same jabs, same hooks and dodge with the same urgency. This fight will be a slow battle of attrition until the bell rings in the twelfth round.

However, a battle of attrition may be Schmogan’s downfall as he is impatient and is unwilling to wait too long for the final result. As the fight drags on, Schmicolas will begin to triumph as Scmhmogan loses his patience. Although it likely won’t be some jaw-dropping knockout, Schmicolas will undoubtedly take home a TKO and will be the ultimate victor of this fight.

Steam Community :: :: Eren vs Reiner!!!
Schmicolas VS. Schmogan(colorized)